woman_passing_by ashmanzhou she was there again today wandering by she glanced up again on her way past just a glance the barest hint of a smile ill wait when she comes back again 030803 ... ashmanzhou i saw her again wandering past on the way to the bus stop i think she didnt look my way maybe shell pass tomorrow as well 030804 ... ashmanzhou she went by again today she didnt look up didnt smile on her way to the bus maybe she had to go to a meeting 030804 ... screwing for virginity does anyone ever talk to the people_passing_by 030804 ... ashmanzhou she came back early today she didnt look up but when she went down the street she looked back at me i wonder when shell come back tomorrow 030804 ... niska maybe you're creeping her out by starng at her. i'd look back to, to be sure i wasn't being followed. unless you've been smiling. if you've been smiling, next time she passes, you have to say hello. strangers do it all the time. every time i pass a senior citizen, they are always compelled to say hello and smile. i think there was a time when the world was courteous and congenial. don't let that time pass you by... 030804 ... ashmanzhou i have a 'problem' with my smiles if you couldst just see me thou wouldst truly understand so i prefer as probably do others that i not smile and i think she would not hear me even if i shouted (her name?) at her 030805 ... ashmanzhou she didnt come for ages and didnt go back the same way she didnt look and i didnt see anyone pay any notice i think she was late 030806 ... ferret i was sitting in a parking lot allyway when i screamed: "hello gorgeous!" which is when you turned towards me and walked away. i laughed. some guy stopped in his tracks and yelled something back, i don't remember what he said tho 030806 ... birdmad (raven or albatross?) and what could i possibly say that they don't just keep passing by? yeah, i think i've arrived at the vanishing_point (if, in fact, i was ever anywhere else) 030807 ... ashmanzhou she went by again she even looked up smiled and waved and laughed to herself i think ill stay til she goes home again 030808 ... pipedream oh, yay! i smile at people passing by. usually i get the same grim lank-jawed stare they had on their face before i smile. i still do it anyway. some people smile back after a while, and their entire face changes into a wrinkly mass of happy..their eyes light up and their laugh lines crease and you know what they look like when they're playing with their kids. 030808 ... NothingNow i would say something to her but i already know the outcome 030809 ... Gilraen (s.h.o.t.h) The woman passing by came back for me. I was in the bathroom. Her bathroom. Standing naked. I could see myself in the mirror. She was going to tell me something. But I woke up. 030810 ... ashmanzhou i saw her this morning almost missed her but as she strode past she gave a final look around her shoulder and saw me on my balcony i wonder if shes walking home right now 030811 ... jane you know, this reminds me of the old wes thing. i used to see the same guy everyday on the way to school, and i called him old wes cause he looked like wes...and one day i saw him driving his car and i got the license plate number and saw what street he turned down and got his address and do you think it was a coincidence that he lived on janey way...? 030811 ... dike can you give the woman my phone numeber my girlfriend and i are interested!! We think together we can make her more than talk!!!!!!!!! Mwah!! 030812 ... pipedream really, jane? then what? 030813 ... jane i'm going to have to plead the fifth 030813 ... ashmanzhou she didnt come the rest of this week i waited for hours though staring into the streams of humanity passing far below me i thought of going down but didnt i hope shes back next week 030815 ... ashmanzhou she came back but only in the evening she didnt look up because it was raining all the cars were deadlocked in puddles i hope its fine tomorrow for her 030817 ... nomme i catch moments when we collide when the light is just right the shadow i am standing in my mirror image and the scene is hurried on and nothing is known but the faint scent of who i where i what why i when 030818 ... ashmanzhou didnt happen but still saw her almost missed her because of her raincoat a blocky ugly plastic thing so unlike her ungraceful she came home agin in lighter drizzle but she didnt look up at all i hope the rain goes away 030819 ... ashmanzhou she came again in the rain though it lightened up by the time she went back past she looked thoughtful but not up at me ill stay to watch her tomorrow 030820 ... ashmanzhou she didnt come yesterday mayhap she was sick or tired or just had something else to do she came today though about ten minutes earlier than usual and went home on the later bus i think she missed the earlier bus and neither time she looked up at me i hope she comes back next week 030822 ... eyedream Ashmanzhou, this is beautiful and I can't stop reading it. I am so sorry for interrupting it, I feel terrible, but I want you to know how intense it is and how much I want you to know I won't be forgetting. cries 030822 ... ashmanzhou my glasses were delivered this morning ten minutes before she was due to arrive she came today across the street amidst the wave of humanity she looked up laughed waved and then walked away with certain grace silent beauty smiling face i will watch for her this afternoon 030824 ... hey now! just curious... why dont you talk to her? 030824 ... ashmanzhou she came again today walking by going home from work i guess though she didnt look up again i guess one glance a day is more than enough she was walking much more briskly than usual she was two minutes later that before ill sit out here until she returns tomorrow 030825 ... ashmanzhou thou art distant 'hey now' for there is many reasons i do not thou i do dream forever of doing just that though thy distance is not thyself one is pure physical-i am four floors up and going down to ground would take to long another is physical though more than that and i why i venture outside not coldly burned into my soul forever see scars_that_make_up_me for detail i see this detail as pure uneeded as i see it in my face every day 030825 ... ashmanzhou i saw her today again walking by and again going home she was troubled this afternoon crying inside though outside countenence remained firm to all around her i wonder why she was so worried i will watch for her tomorrow 030826 ... ashmanzhou she walked past again silently still emotionally limping along so distant from everyone but herself she looked up not in the morn nor again in the afternoon her mind as mine was turned to other thought i watched then as i shall in my dreams 030827 ... ashmanzhou i watched her as she walked she walked not alone she and another woman older more bent walked by and away laughing to themselves she did not look up at me she went home agan alone this time again a darkened self indulging in her own sancity of space i shall watch for her again 030828 ... elimeny sometimes i wonder if im the only person who sits at a traffic light, and looks around and wonders about each individuals life, wonders what they are thinking, where they are going, what they did last night, where they went to school, what their first heartbreak was like... but then i read this and realize im not alone. and it makes me feel a bit better. 030828 ... ashmanzhou saw her again today just got back been to hospital for a few days asthma lost my puffer and almost didnt call out closed my eyes and sat in my room to cry anyway i got back today and walking in at the morn saw the woman passing by in flesh just a mere breath away from me she saw me paled to see my face ruined in such close vicious detail but still she waved and hurried away i think i shall sit on my window never again dreaming lost by weight of crushing reality what will she see when passing by and looking up at me? i shall sit in my corner in darkened room empty and try to feel enough to weep 030902 ... eyedream Elimeny I do that too. 030902 ... ashmanzhou i saw her at the supermarket today shopping she saw me and waved smiled her name is sarah she thinks the new floor is nice even though it squeaks all the time when you walk on it and smells like melted plastic 031022 ... nom i like dancing in the supermarket because the floor is so sqaweakawy 031022 ... nom the music usually gets to me 031022 ... ashmanzhou she walked past four minutes late this morning she didnt look up at me perched a floor below my old seat she was in a hurry i wonder if she got to work in time 031023 ... celestias shadow sometimes it's better not to talk, not to see too close, not to know names. and sometimes it is. :) 031025 ... r1y9a6n4 that really meant a lot 031127 ... whitechocolatewalrus to be so common, but to be so uncommon, i feel enlightened to have this new outlook. i wonder if people notice when i am hurried, late, or sad. 031212 ... marked . 040811 what's it to you? who go blather from