he deb is mine this i know but i long for certainty so call me hold me tell me tell me so i know 991209 ... andrea He came at Her slowly, there was fear in Her eyes. He seemed to be deaf to Her whimpers and cries. He took Her roughly. She didn’t talk. and when He was through, She lay there in shock. He needed to pay, this much She knew. He had done this to Her, maybe others, too. He wounded Her deep. Her scars you can’t see. He said He was sorry, but She can’t let it be. He didn’t know then the pain He had caused Her. He would never know about the fear He had fathered. He left Her there, She was hurt and battered. He couldn’t comprehend that Her life He had shattered. He wasn’t sent to jail, but, Her anger, it died. He was still in Her thoughts, so She had to decide. if He would control Her life, or if She’d forgive and forget. forgiven Him, She has. but forgotten Him, not yet. copyright 1999 991231 ... ikon he can have me till the grave if he just stops frowning all the time. Yeah, I'd love him sex feet down if he would just hold me while we sleep. 000116 ... Q dear ikon, with a name like the both of you've obviously abundances of self esteem. excellentissimo! you, my dear ikon, have either a serious problem or no problem. in either case, the solution is obvious and at hand. there's a serious problem if he doesn't want to or you don't want to risk asking him to. solution: get outta' that place yesterday already. there's no problem if he'd if you'd just ask him to and you've no problem asking but just haven't gotten 'round to doing it. solution: just ask it. a bad relationship is a basically non-communicative one, and for that reason not very likely to become good. the sooner it's ended, the better for all concerned. a little verbal communication never hurts a good relationship, and lots of communication in many different ways is required constantly to keep a good one good. sincerely, the advice monster p.s. this wasn't learned out of a book - although reading books to each other helps big time - or alone. 000116 ... ikon Q: He inspires me to imagine, he inspires me to write. he really loves me. but i sometimes pretends he doesn't. as a writer, you might understand. 000116 ... someone i'm too young to know anything i'm too old to believe that it will be a fairy tale of kisses and swoons and sighs and gazes and sweet lust he's nervous, fidgets around me as i try to put up a barricade of words to shield me from his stares i want to cry but not in his arms i don't know where i want to back out but i feel like a stupid girl who is once again reduced to what she always is,will be it's funny that he should scare me he, with his 'you're so beautiful' and 'you made dreams come true' i'm drowning in his arms 000222 ... girl has opened my eyes. before we met, i was young and foolish. i believed in trust, goodness, loyalty, promises, and peace. i know now that there are no such things. my world has been expanded by pain, paranoia, betrayal, insanity, and insomnia. i am alive now. 000326 ... calliope alive now? because of him? how strange. how sweet. simple. 000329 ... Romiette ) i think he killed me, my soul, its been destoryed, by the betrayal of his heart it hurts more than anything i've ever felt before why does love hurt so much? 000521 ... 4550ormore is the way 000527 ... lilt works his fingers over the keyboard works his mind over the bareness works his way to final bliss works not for what he has works not for what I'm worth maybe doesn't care 000615 ... attila the hun too serious needs to back off 000808 ... zavyman It pains me to see people this way, believing that relationships have to hurt. There are sweet people out there. I come from the opposite side. I how I would be if I got into a relationship, I just have not had the chance. I don't know what it is, maybe just the fact that I treat girls with respect. They may see me more as a friend than a boyfriend, I guess. I can see where 'someone' and 'girl' are coming from. The culture has it all backwards when it comes to dating. I just hold out knowing that eventually I will be noticed, just that that day has not come yet. But believe me: there are nice guys out there, but you just have to look. They unfortunatly do not have the will to look for you. 000808 ... Seth There aren't any nice guys. We're all macho assholes, just waiting for a weak little girls to pounce upon. It pains me to be classified as a "he". I think of creating things, until I get a hard on. Then I don't care about anything or anyone until I've satisfied myself. It scares me. How do I control this urge? How do I stop hurting people? A cry for help. I'm learning though. Unfortunately, I have no teacher but myself. The women are too afraid to teach me, and the men are happy with being predators. Or maybe the men are too afraid to teach me, and the women are happy with being prey. Confusing, indeed. The journey continues. 000830 ... psycho insomniac We made love last night beneath he stars. The moon's Cycloptic eye unblinking staring us down uncovering our bodies of the darkness like naked roots we tangled ourselves thighs and elbows heavy fruit shiny as winter chestnuts. Body of the man I love--Seth... bitten mouth, tangerine lips rose petal surprise of tongue, I could wander the continent of your golden valleys without ceasing and delight each day in discovering a new dawn rising from he depths of your mysterious being. 000915 ... Meara He is really starting to tick me off. He figured out that something was wrong. I had no intention of telling anyone (except my best friend), but he kept asking and asking until I finally told him everything. He acted like he really cared, but I haven't heard from him since. Some friend. 001116 ... someone very sad he is ruining us. he is jealous and he hates me and he wants you to have no one because he has no one. and i want to smack him. and more than anything give him a piece of my mind. i want him to hurt. to cry to feel the pain he makes. i want someone to break his heart. i want him to know what he's doing. he is ruining us. i am losing you. my best friend. my boyfriend. losing my love and my smile. i want him to hurt. he needs to feel this emptiness inside. 010128 ... keeper is out of my reach....but i want him....more than anything.....to love....to hold....to be held by....to play with....to laugh with.....to kiss 010324 ... keeper he tells me that he misses me, does he miss me or my body, he says to spend time together, im afraid to say yes although i want to, he says he misses the good ol' times all of them, im ashamed of them 010403 ... Chrity go to: i_have_words 010408 ... psychobabe the first day i met him, i knew we were ment to be. The was we were together, no one could tell is was just us. Our relationship was great, there were no tears, no pain and definatly no fears. He treated me like a angel, careing for my every need. But then the day he left me, was so hard to deal with. He was sent away to jail, those damn pigs and their governmental system. He did no wrong, but he was gone. away from me. I felt everything stop for a while, but then things became extremely fucked up. When he was out, we had broken up, which was probably for the best. But then he wanted to see me again, and i also wanted to see him back. He said he was sorry, and if he could do it all over again he would, but time is ireplaceable, and so were our feelings. We sat together waiting for it all to last, but now once again he is leaveing me. Once again he is leaveing, for something he didnt do. My good friend says that "things happen for a reason" and of course they do. I would believe her over anything. She said "things may be hard right now, but I believe in the end, everything will work out for the best." and i'm hopeing.... 010410 ... ladybird is strong and gentle but he can fuck real hard his hands are brown and his eyes are so deep you could so easily drown bites his bottom lip when he plays guitar would do anything for a friend has his heart in the right place knows where to touch me and can smile like nobody's business and i can't stop laughing when i'm with him forget the rest of the world there are good men out there i promise: i found one. 010512 ... alegra makes me see myself in ways that i never expected to... and when i'm talking to him my words and his mix in a beautiful alchemy, the potent mixture sometimes sustaining communication even through long silences. in other words, he makes my tummy feel funny. in a good way. 010516 ... not all there he left her long ago. he did not want to leave. she never called him back; he thinks she did not greive. he wants to say to her the things he use to say. to be together once again, that'll be the day. now she sees him in the mall and hugs him right away he sees lost love in her eyes, there's so much he wants to say. he wants her to know how much it hurt to leave her far behind. that if he never saw her again, he might as well go blind. he's the one that left, he wants to make it right he might just be fooling himself because he knows what she's like. though she gives him little hints, reminders of the past he'll never get the courage to come right out and ask if she thinks same way he does if she still loves him, too Bri, i know it's been a couple years, but i still really miss you. 010516 ... erin eternities are going by until u think of me ,pick up the phone and call ,god damnit! *I always do this if he doesnt call or does its a test of if he loves me...i am pathetic* 010529 ... nocturnal he is one of the coolest people I know he makes me laugh every time I talk to him he is the only person that, once I think of him, brings a smile to my face less than a second later he is so far away. (yet another drunken blather, the honesty is brutal) 010617 ... lmp makes me feel safe and protected. he makes me believe that maybe we can still find love out there. he scares me because i know that i'm losing control and he could break my heart in an instant without knowing or meaning to. he says he loves me, but i can't let myself believe it. i keep putting up walls, testing him, making things difficult. i don't want to lose him, i just can't let him hurt me. but he promises that no matter what he won't stop when i say when, and eventually he'll wear me down. i hope he's right. 010621 ... black-dyed gel product SHIT - IT + HE = SHE That was something I learned in the second grade. I guess society was trying say even to children that women are shit without men. Society is fucked up sometimes. PS - I was just stating something I remembered from childhood. Please don't interpret this as some kind of hatred of mine against women because that is not how I feel. 010621 ... psychobabe He makes me feel alive. He makes me feel happy. He makes me...me:) I love him for obvious reasons when we met things were to great. Friends can be a great thing and that is how we met. The internet is a great thing too. Long distance *30 min.* can be a hard thing, or even if it was 2 hours, its all hard to not see the one you love. To hear their voice call your name from the darkness which is below. I say i love him cuz i do. People say "YOU CANT SAY THAT! YOUR TO YOUNG TO KNOW! YOU HAVENT EXPIERIENCED IT ENOUGHT!" what a bunch of hypocritical bullshit Its not what people tell you, but what you feel inside. You cant