heroin Nate Higgins The need you don't yet know you have that reveals everything else for the hollow pointless acts they are. How boring is it to do what is expected? Pointed spear says nothing here To touch and push and rip as directed? Moves not the piston pump without fear You cannot bite me hard enough From the end a single brown drop, a tear? You won’t bleed me dry enough Out the plunger pulling blood near You say you can cut deep enough Expells it’s heavy load another coat of veneer For me to know life again Drifting on the waves a single lonely mutineer But you lie Aegir You don’t even try 991031 ... anastacia you do it to keep out the ugliness of reality... 000320 ... prick if i could do it once and then forget i'd ever done it, i'd do it 010402 ... malediction i want to try it, and i will, and when i get addicted at least i'll know it was my choice 010817 ... daxle I am 010818 ... victor godot how is it becomes - to get sick with your love - how easy to just wait for your man slowing down your belly aches with the painkillers of some "solidarity" service - how fun to mock the others while walking stoned among "people" - how fucking confortable is a good shot - how fucking confortable is a good shot - up to now, i long for - i swear - i pray for a smarter way for ending up my life. 010818 ... Weed Eater The first time you shoot heroin, you've already died. It just takes about 10 years for them to burry you. [Well, not everyone (just junkies).] 010821 ... velvet underground and all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk well you can all go take a walk 010821 ... silentbob I'm choosing not to choose life. who needs all that when you've got heroin? trainspotting 010822 ... Aimee is made from the opium poppy. If purified further I believe it makes morphine. 010822 ... birdmad suddenly after nearly ten years clean i need a fix, really bad ooooh, i can just imagine the feel of the smoke, laced with the opiate searing its way into my lungs 011005 ... *~K & i learned, too, how it is made. the way they follow the fine tracery of veins on the poppy head.. just a few little pricks to let the sap flow. dry heal. & then new holes, just a few millimeters lower... it's very vampiric. draining the entire baby pod of sap. you know it's a brand name? bayer used to make it. it's called that for it's 'heroic' properties. heh. 020218 ... bloodshotglass my favorite drug. i was always into stims - i did experience a brief period of time addicted to coke, but after my source was cut & i had to come off it for a day, i never went back. i never wanted to experience that day again. as for heroin, it is the most beautiful high i have ever experienced. i hope at some point in my old age i will feel this high without the drug..but just from reflecting on a successful life. it's so comfortable, you don't need to talk, to move, to do anything. pinch yourself and you don't feel it. you feel like you're dripping into the most comfortable lazy boy ever. i must admit..not a day goes by that i don't think about the drug. maybe one day i won't. 020810 ... monde it's actually a very boring drug, compared to many others. I felt I needed to stop being so excitable. When I was slowly becoming a junkie it felt like it was happening to somebody else, and that made it all right. I was just watching from the outside. once I'd been dopesick a few times that illusion died, for the most part, but whenever i had money again...it would sort of happen all over again. one me would get up and beep the mexican guys, the other me would watch helplessly, thinking, "she shouldn't be doing that, but she's going to feel good and i'm just going to worry." 030405 ... cube For years we used to do whatever 'soft' drugs we could afford. My buddy went on 'ahead' without me and it wasn't until he'd pulled back from the brink of heroin addiction that he confided in me. He claimed to have used about 40 times before he realized it. It was during that time we both found religion, the same he still uses today. I believe the one addiction helped him to beat the other. ³ 030405 ... monde religion may be the opiate of the masses but opiates are the mass of my religion and nothing's going to change that drugs are easy to believe in but god makes absolutely no sense at least to my sober mind 030405 ... cube I wasn't trying to justify religion - just to point out that addiction can take various forms. I think there are addictive_personality_types, of which I count myself. At various times in my life, I've been addicted to drugs, women, speed (velocity), and religion; to name a few. ³ 030405 ... lani and if i would have listened to my mother... my life might be a little different right now. after three years of not sticking myself...the urge is still almost as strong but i will not succumb- at least not right now----------- 030718 ... lani and if i would have listened to my mother... my life might be a little different right now. after three years of not sticking myself...the urge is still almost as strong but i will not succumb- at least not right now----------- 030718 ... birdmad eleven years and i'm still fighting it, man. most of the time the jones is so close to non-existant that you forget you ever had it, but then there are days, oh man, there are days where it's this seductive voice in the back of your mind, rationalizing how good a little relapse might fee l 030718 ... jane trainspotting 030718 ... regret I watched you OD on it. I saw you almost die before my eyes. Never have I been so scared in my life. I pray you stay clean this time. 030802 ... aurora i've been clean for a year, but only because i don't have a connection. small town. the second i can, i'll do it again, and do it and do it and do it. i love it. it makes me my perfect self when i'm high. it makes me in love, with it with him with myself with everyone. it makes our lovemaking, which is already amazing, FUCKING INCREDIBLE. 031130 ... misstree once, all the stars aligned in such a way that i was able to try it; knew the source, knew the quantity and quality, safe environment, and knew i couldn't get more... god it was glorious... but two of the strongest people i'd ever met told me stories about when they were junkies, and what it took to walk away from it... and i will never forget the haunted look in their eyes... it scared me, seeing that look from *them*... and i know that i can never try it again, that next time it may be the key to killing_me_slowly... 031201 ... Lemon_Soda never. never ever ever ever. Ofcourse its would taste fantastic coursing through my veins. Ofcourse I'd love it if I tried it. ofcourse it would take me places I've never been before. I don't like to give up fantastic things, or things I love. And from what I understand, longterm use is bad for the body, mind, and checking account. 031201 ... birdmad as a junkie, however long i've been clean, i have no sympathy or respect for Rush Limbaugh. BTW, Q: what's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One's a flaming Nazi gas-bag and the other one's just a dirigible. 031201 ... LLRH Pretty much only drug I have never ingested in any way shape or form. Intruiged - yes. Scared - yes. Knowing my addictive personality and love of that sublime, euphoric wave that only comes with activating those neurons - I know once I have that ultimate high - there aint no goin back. grant me the strength... 031214 ... unhinged don't whatever you do don't i have watched the most beautiful things in my life destroyed by it. the things that kept me alive when i was so close to dead and everyday my heart spins waiting for the phone call. i've tried the perscription kind. broke all kinds of promises to myself and it was beautiful....evilly beautiful. he doesn't eat anymore. everytime i see him he is smaller, more shrunken. and he has tried to quit. several times. but there aren't many ways out of it. and i'm waiting for the phone call that tells me he is finally lost. i remember the voice in my head; such an ugly drug. you know you aren't strong enough to let go of this. you know you always want to feel like this. more. more. more. and it's eating him. the only thing that stopped it from eating me. cause i love him too goddamn much. don't. shakes kissing toilet bowls sleeping pills and none of it will help don't ever 031214 ... Little Lost Riding Hood You just expressed what I could not - experience of it. Thank you for sharing it and the advice. Like the apple to Eve - I know it will be temptation....saying that I was at a mates house the other day and he had about 3 wraps of it - I didnt do it... Lets hope the wrong occasion doesnt present itself at the right time... 031215 ... unhinged this is a topic very close to me right now and i would discourage anyone i could from even trying it; for most people it's not something you can try. once you do it, you're hooked. you are right, it is scary. i've never been so scared by a drug. oxys if you ever find yourself perilously close, the only discouraging advice i can give: think of the one person that would have to watch you die from it. the one person that you love more than words who would watch you spiral down the circle_of_addiction with nothing to discourage you once you've started. because even love isn't good enough to chase it away. the one person that would stand at your grave to be with you. and before you chew, swallow, push the needle in, think of their face, tears streaming down. and maybe that will be good enough to turn you away. maybe 031215 ... sevr not a big deal unless you are a weak minded fuck 031217 ... LLRH OR AN IGNORANT TWAT LIKE YOU.... 031217 ... unhinged yeah sure not a big deal to be a shaking mess in front of a toilet getting perscription sleeping pills from the doctor to try to get some rest to try to get off of it to make the decision several times to go back and maybe one last time you won't get clean and earn yourself a hole in the ground to lie to your friends to get the money to get one last hit to care more about being high than your protruding ribs empty boxes of sleeping pills scattered around your room cause you were a weekend warrior that could quit anytime you wanted only stupid people and dead people think it's no big deal to get yourself high right into the ground 031217 ... chris This is life, with order, in perfection, in its beauty. A warm rush flows through the brain in less than a second. Comfort surrounds your mental state, followed quickly by physical comfort, as if being cradled by a tender, caring entity, protecting you from all anxieties, misfortunes, bad feelings: these have all been forgotten. Any part of your life that was out of place now fits perfectly like a puzzle. Every part of life seems to be happily repaired. A grand sense of euphoria surrounds every sense, while each cell in the human body is treated to a warm bath of pleasure, accompanied by an indescribable gravity that only adds to the pleasure and overall bodily sensation. But the bodily sensation isn’t what makes the experience so incredible. It is experiencing life as if it were perfect. 040204 ... RainForest Well, it should be good. Who expects to live forever and the people I love are junkies too. 040205 ...