jealousy
morose No, it's happening again. I can't stop it and I know I'm gonna do something stupid. It will be one of those 'I'm watching myself and can't stop me' things I expect. Maybe I should lock myself in my room and never come out... 000120
...
snitch damn them both!
...well...damn her anyway!
000122
...
Matthew Is a cliff of emotion built on rage and envy. It is the sea of primal urge and the regret left from not acting quick enough. It teases your civilized mind that you tell yourself is so far above all of this, but in reality is still that of a child. 000621
...
MollyGoLightly he says that jesus killed his jealousy. well. if only jesus had been around when we were still seventeen. 000727
...
pink panther A horrably, mind twisting emotion...
Jelousy gives you the power to hate and envy someone just because. It can get out of hand and turn into obsession. Identity crisis? Maybe so. Wishing you were someone else...? Jelousy can lead to murder, even. Damn... what a harsh word.
000912
...
Glory Box Jealous Sea. A sea of jealousy. A tiny boat rocking in the waves, a beautiful pea green boat. Who makes me jealous? Laura does. Lo. She makes me sweat. She threatens my pedestal of superiority. She's an equal, maybe even a superior. She smart, she's cool, she's witty, she's pretty, she's everything a girl needs to be, and she's better at everything. But, this jealousy is a stimulant, a chance for me to jump start my mind. She's the voice that convinces me to do that last little bit of homework at midnight on Sunday, she's the one who punches me in the arm and says "Come on. Get with it." She energizes me, and it's a friendly jealousy I feel, though, sometimes, I do feel the tips of my fingers turning just a little bit green. 001026
...
amy writhe me around a little, why don't you? 001108
...
Upset I hate the way it makes me feel inside
its like a knot in my stomach.
I want to trust my girlfriend, but my
mind imagines her being unfaithful.
When I talk with her about it she gets
upset and I feel awful.
JEALOUSY GO AWAY
010108
...
Quiggz It's all too human, just another reminder that, no matter how enlightened we think we are, we're still subject to our stupid primal emotions of hate and envy. Dammit, why do we have to be so human? 010108
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unhinged i want to keep them all to myself. i know they will be happier this way. what will i do with my saturday nights when they are all big and famous and leave me stuck in y_town? 010108
...
silentbob if_she_only_knew
if_he_only_knew
maybe i should just stop thinking about it
i wonder if i could have her if i only tried...
or maybe if i acted like someone other than i am
but i don't think its a personality issue
i think its a superficiality issue
010108
...
FALLing into place I am jealous of her. does she have something with him that I will never have? this makes me jealous. because, in comparison...she is so right for him, they are so alike. but then I think..isn't it the differences that bring people close? because they learn from one another?
It's a part of human nature, we are all bound to be jealous of something in which we do not personally have (a personality trait, for say)
or is this envy?
010108
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soph dont waste my time 010330
...
like rain. i hate the way you look at them. the way you put your hand on her shoulder made me want to scream. the way that no one has to tell me how you feel, because it's written all over your face.

fucking lust. human fault.

so was my love ever worth anything to you?
010428
...
Aimee burns through my veins. I know if she choses him, I'm gone. I love him, how could he love her? 010428
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sweetheart of the song tra bong I love it because I always have it. Can't you feel my jungle green eyes slice through you?

I am jealous of little things and I want to make you jealous. Aren't you yet?
010508
...
el fagtastico I can, baby.

All the boys love Jenny. She eclipses it all, shining next to me at plastic lunch tables, walking over concrete through falling eucalyptus leaves that stick to sneakers. Her bright hair and har bracelets and her small hands. We does not exist with Jen. There is only she and I.

.
010513
...
tara i am jealous of her because i want to be her, i envy her, i wish i had her life.
and now, what i have learned, what i have so recently discovered, is that, is some incomprehensible way to me-
SHE is jealous of me.
010515
...
Shugarhi I'm jealous of all the love at lunch for I know none of it is directed towards me... 010515
...
fanta I shouldn't care, but I like to have people to myself. It hurts to share sometimes. 010520
...
inferiority_complex today i realized that an old problem would return

am i no longer the twinkle in your eye?

i know its him...
010601
...
one last kiss tomorrow we can drive around this town, let the cops chase us around, the past is gone but something might be found to take its place. hey jealosy. 010913
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gin blossoming red crested birdmad hey_jealousy 010913
...
aimee alright fine... I admit it. I'm jealous. Jealous of every other girl you've been with. Every other girl you've touched the way you touch me. Every other girl you ever said I love you to. I am jealous of them, but I also know that I am where you want to be now. I know that you are where I want to be. 010914
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sphinxradio he said he gets jealous of the boy with money who drives a nice car to school.
i decided not to tell him the things i get jealous of.
011231
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kerry i feel it in my bones, my joints, burrowing in my mind and under my skin, and i'm ashamed, even if no one else knows it exists. 011231
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ClairE "I'm so happy, I'm jealous of myself."

Forget the puzzled faces and scratched heads. Jealousy can be playful.
011231
...
Toxic_Kisses festers like an over ripe zit on my dirty oily skin and to pop it would olny make it ooz and multiply 011231
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hey now! i still say that you cannot be jealous of yourself. claire is weird. 011231
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Mahayana: Zakah: yourself/myself= y/m

y/m does *not* = constant variable
----------

i am not the same self
i was the previous blather
nor am i the same self
i was at the beginning of
this blather
nor shall i be the same self
i am through future:
blathers
seconds
minutes
days
thoughts
ponderings
etc., etc., etc.

----------
y/m does = constant change
therefor
it *is* under my contentions that
one could be jealous of a former self
[unless your Buddhist, maybe U shouldnt]
020101
...
pushpins green vapor is steaming me out,
i'm dancing in my envy.
i'm trapped in jealous muck,
but I like it
because now I am justified.
I can feel like I've been stomped on,
taken advantage of,
i can have my poetic pain.
thankyou for the gift,
i've been asking for it.
020103
...
CelticMistress something george didn't care enough to feel 020103
...
kelli crane is the root of all evil. 020115
...
kuru ...is nothing to be ashamed of.

First of all, it's entirely natural. Part of your mammalian destiny, so to speak.

Second, if nothing else it can be quite flattering for your significant other. It signals a passion and intensity beyond mere fondness. Granted, one shouldn't overdo this aspect.

Third, it can be the impetus to extraordinary things: Art, poetry, or even saints be praised honest and meaningful conversation.

I am a fan of constructive jealousy.
020115
...
Casey They all have dates and someone to be with. But they dont care about me or my feelings or even acknowlede me. fuck them 020115
...
Annie111 I find it strangely absent from my vector, currently. Having no jealousy is like finding out that ugly plant in your bathroom just died. I mean you never would have thrown it out normally. But now it's gone, you are strangely relieved. 020115
...
jim_starks i'm jealous of the simplest things. things i shouldn't be jealous of. i ended it, yet after hearing about tonight and what you wrote i got really jealous. there's something very wrong with me. 020428
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sporkwielder so do tell me...what are you doing for your entertainment? 020428
...
pralines&cream jealousy consumes me sometimes
It engulfs me often.
I thought my jealousy would diminish when she cut her hair ... i'd always thought her hair was the key to her beauty. And then she cut it, but she was still beautiful, and still perfect and still everything better than I could ever be.

I hate jealousy because it distracts me from what matters - school, friends, love, life - and makes me hate people I should love.

I wish I had the power to control a tidal wave, but I don't. And it washes over me and drowns me in bitterness.
020428
...
shiva i would paste a picture of something bloody and severed here if i could. use your imagination. i want to do that to someone. 020430
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Your Friendly Neighborhood Logan Sometimes it's best to be jealous of yourself... 020430
...
Mahayana i never really was a jealous person at all, it just wasnt part of my design... or so i thought, now that i am with someone whom is so eXtremely beautiful in everyway, i know people will always notice her outer attractiveness before her inner attractiveness... and to me this is unfortunate for her most astonishing traits subsist within her, ... but still she is one of those beauties that will [always] always always be noticed, and im not use to it... quite yet, although i try to be... this is all so weird and wonderful for me... but i do the best i can & i remind myself that she loves me, that she wants to be with me, that we are planning a life together ... that we already have begun

sometimes, its gonna be hard to not get jealous when others notice or when they stare at her, but perhaps i am more so disturbed about starring at myself, and this i think is the true issue ... [myself staring at myself], and even if for one second distressing that someday i might not be good enough for someone as remarkable as she is ... but i can not live a life in the [here and now of it all]- i can not enjoy these moments i have with her- if i am too busy worrying about tomorrow... we really never do know how much time we have with our loved ones here in life ... and i intend to make the best of my time ... cuz no matter how much time ill be blessed with, it shall never ever be enough to be with her

and that ... is the truth of it all

[final thoughts]:i used to for ever and a day desire to be beautiful on the outside, to have individuals drawn to me, but the more i have deliberations about it, and the more i have seen through the years, i am appreciative that i am not... no-one has it easier than others, we all just have it in a different way in life, and i most certainly do not want others paying attention to me, if even only slightly just because of the way i look, id rather have few people interested in me & know it is genuine than to have a whole plethora of admirers of my flesh, this is why i am thankful that i do not have external loveliness, i have never been mislead, .....*thinking*... you know what i just realized that sort of troubles me inside when people are all caught up on the way that the one I am with looks, yes i think it is nice to notice gorgeousness but when you dote on it, when you cant perceive beyond towards the real essence of the person-- that is heartbreaking-- and i am not saying that these people do not see beyond into her, but most really do just get caught up in the aesthetics of life & people ... anyhow my point was ... it sort of insults in a peculiar way when people just stare & stare & stare .. maybe most people would be fond of it to be with someone so beautiful that people look intently, but i think these people are way off of the mark when they can only perceive with their eyes
020501
...
blown cherry bleeding You know when you get jealous of even past loves?
You sit there and imagine the person you care about more than anything being moved by someone else. It's horrible, they're all in the past, but the very thought of it makes your heart bleed.
And so what if they're with you now, so what if they love you and no one else, the thought/s and imagining/s lie in your brain, twisting your emotions into a painful spike which it drives though your heart, wishing that you were the only person they had ever touched, wishing you could replace that other person in every single one of those memories.

Once that type of jealousy is gone,
you know it's over.
020505
...
Ariadani jealous of your time.


wishing i wasnt.
020505
...
werewolf the part of me that is still and silent and locked is jealous of the part of me that is opened and fearless and kissing you 020505
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tess I feel jealousy when I see everything I have ever wanted and yearned for in someone who naturally, without effort, has these things that I want so much and I know I will never have but will continue wishing for. 020630
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blown cherry I can't erase my past,
and neither can you.
And it would seem that I am not the only one who understands the words that I wrote before.

Does it help to know I've never loved any other this much?
Never adored anyone so completely?
I doubt it.

So
I push the thoughts from my head,
and cast my eyes away when it is more than simple thoughts that darken me.
And when that doesn't work,
an unsolvable hurt is all I feel.
020818
...
*nat* my main weakness, i hav 2 be/hav d best, when i am/hav the best, i dnt want n e 1 else to get hold of it 020820
...
~gez~ people become jealous for very small things. i have been a victim of minor jealousy *all star* but you must not worry. who knows what the future may hold, hopefully it holds us in a bubble which will never pop, together in a floaty enviroment for all time 020820
...
kerry yeah. i guess so. i'm jealous of you, ~gez~.




not.
020820
...
kerry [correction] well... maybe i am jealous, but not because i want to be like you or anything. maybe it's just because you are finding all the words that no one has blathed on and writing shit in them. maybe that is why. 020820
...
~gez~ maybe its not exactly difficult though is it. make up a word, such as : wugahumftomuff 020822
...
kerry ok well maybe more what i am trying to say is it really looks [to me and maybe someone else, possibly] that you just find these words, start new blathes, and the point of you being here isn't at all about self-expression or whatever it is everyone else seems to enjoy doing. and, not that you should do the same thing as everyone else, but all of this stuff is just a waste of space in a way because you just blathe in a never-been-blathed-in word and it's like you're doing it for the hell of it. i mean you're an intelligent guy, or girl, i assume you're a guy, and probably talented, or something. so why don't you write something pretty, impress us all, or write about yourself, be self-centered like most of us are. or write what you feel, or about something that happened to you, and if you aren't FEELING anything then for chrissakes why write? lots of people use blather when there is something in their head that if they don't get out at that moment, they will explode, or because they have something to SAY. don't feel obligated to say something just because you're here. read over things, ponder things, then get inspired. maybe you already do that, i don't know. but like i said earlier, it seems like you're just grabbing every blathe to put your name on it. 020822
...
kerry and also, yeah i too could make up words.

daja;jafdight.

but what is the point of that?? blather isn't only a place to make up words or say something about everything... save YOUR words and use them on blather when you find something that touches you or means something to you.
020822
...
girl_jane Is it wrong to be jealous of the one whose shadow you've grown up in? Perhaps if the sun had shone on both of us, I'd be just as bright as she is. I love my sister. I know it's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault.It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's not her fault, and I'm still jealous. 020822
...
~gez~ ignoreing the last blather, sorry girl jane or whatever your anme is. but im sorry to have offended you kerry, i did not know the true point of this site, but if i want to abuse it.. who are you to stop me? maybe my way of expressing myself is saying random things. maybe i am ultra intellegent and you dont understand the full meanings of my entries
another point, if i were self centred as is the the rest of the world (unfortunatly) then who would be there to care for others. personally i care more about a certain someone else rather than myself. are you jealous?
020825
...
kerry you're right, i can't stop you from doing anything, and my blathe wasn't to try and "stop you" from "abusing" the site, it was more like my
self expression/my opinion...
so, yeah. you're right, there.
but i'm not jealous
why would i be jealous?
i'm not really sure what to say anymore, i guess i'm frustrated or

ok im gonna stop now, i will probably end up saying something stupid that doesn't make sense.
020825
...
kerry ok this is the last thing i'll say...

what was that thing about you being self-centered? so many people HERE, on blather, are self-centered. what do you mean?
020825
...
~gez~ never mind stop the arguement here. i dont like having enemies 020826
...
~gez~ im saying if EVERYONE was self centered then the world would fall into turmoil becasue nobody would give a shit about anything else 020826
...
minnesota_chris so hard to watch you
be near you, but not close
to share your time and energy with others.

I wish I didn't love you.
030109
...
MDogMA once upon a time there was a happy boy...Emo that's the ticket. 030109
...
The Lord mindfuck 030119
...
carlita i became jealous the moment we were first together. your flirty ways with everyone, no matter how innocent you say it is, makes me uncomfortable. i laugh and say i don't care, to not be possessive of you, but by now, i think i have the right to be possessive. don't get me wrong, you've gotten a lot better, but i can't help but imagine you going farther than meaningless flirting. you know, it makes some of them uncomfortable, too. that's how i know who my real friends are... the ones who talk to me about it and make sure i'm not mad at them for it. the ones that just take my laughter as not caring are the ones i fear. you know who they are. the fact that you do it in front of me makes me feel better, because i can see what's going on. on the other hand, though, it makes me wonder what you do when i'm not around. that's why i always want to be with you, and i'll stay out till bartime with you even when i have to work in the morning. i dread the thought of you taking someone else home and sharing the bed we've shared so many times. this jealous feeling has faded over time, and i'm sure it will continue to fade. i hope so. i find my heart racing when i drive by your house and you're not there when you should be. and when you don't tell me who's on the phone, or where you going when you leave. i should know better, because we've had this conversation before, but i can't help it. i just wonder if you're ever jealous of me. i would never never never cheat on you, but i kind of like that fact that you may be jealous. just so you know the feelings i get. maybe it would make you think twice. 030711
...
misstree may be the highest compliment to give,
but in anything but small increments,
the price is far too high.
030722
...
TheInventionsOfAKnight --(Originally, jealosy pretained soley to plants, other people's cactus or ginkgoes, or, later, when there was grass, grass, which is why, even to this day, we say that someone is green with jealousy.)---

- The Princess Bride
By, S Morgenstern
030804
...
Lila Pause My jealousy and I are close as can be.
Most days we spend time together.
What a friend.
We talk about you, her, they...
and all your imaginary dream girls in between.
We talk about life and how everything seems to go horribly wrong.
Together, we observe the efforts of others.
You tell it to me straight when you say:
That I could never be a writer.
And I agree.
My truest friend,
Don't leave.
And tommorow we'll have tea and crumpets...
We'll have cinnamon toast and raspberry fool...
We'll toast marshmellows by the fire,
and clink our tea-stained cups
while we once again commiserate,
over everyone else's rotten good luck.
040623
...
lacunas coil why should i be jealous that others find you beautiful? i found my self feeling that way and then laughed out loud at myself, drawing strange looks from the people around me. every time we go to the bar together, your boss, the bar tender, which you are now also, tells me various reasons, all centring around your beauty, why he is giving me my refill for free. 040624
...
sean buried in my ex girlfriend's head will kill someone very soon and I hope its not me 040626
...
emmi jealousy consumes me.

i wish i were beautiful. but i am! maybe not enough. but why would i think that? sometimes he checks out other girls. but he loves me! but he's not attracted to me? no, he is, i know he is. but maybe i'm not really his type. then why would he be with me? maybe he settled, on my skin colour? my hair? my eyes? the way i dress? but no, he says he hasn't, and that i'm perfect for him. then why do i feel this way? maybe it's his past. he used to be a real player you know, he'd be seeing five different girls at the same time, just for the sex. so what's changed? he doesn't do that anymore and he says he doesn't want to, but then why does he look at other girls? he says he doesn't even realize he's doing it, he says it must be a force of habit, and he's doing his best to stop. but i don't want him to have to try! it should come naturally. after all, i am worth looking at, right? (then again, i think..if i were pretty enough, his eyes wouldn't stray...) maybe i'm overreacting? but i can't help the way it makes me feel! i keep thinking back to this and that day, his expression, his eyes on her breasts, her ass, her face...and me feeling like walking away unnoticed, so he can get on with whatever he wants to do to her. he tells me it's just a look, and he only wants to be with me, grow old with me, and no one else ever. but i feel inadequate. i feel like he's not really 100% sure he can do this. that he can be faithful to me for a long time. he says he is, why don't i believe him?! i wish i could. my mind would be put at rest. it's all i think about all day long, on the bus, in class, while trying to study, while eating and talking to my friends. and i'm exhausted.
041104
...
Somebody that I used to know I heard her voice in the background noise from your phone "owww your girlfriend isnt coming?" I left for the party after I heard that. 041224
...
sirflaccid .....is eating me alive.

I tried for this. I paid for this. I planned for this.

I don't understand it. I don't know why I couldn't be the one.

And now all of this twists the knife even further into my chest.
050107
...
Shining Armor You look to another man for help before me. Am I just being selfish or do I love you? I'll back to you. 051023
...
australian highrise rages. veins filled. no room for rational, self-esteem-filled thoughts. 060523
...
pragmatic bird i don't worry about it now

among my semi-regular FWB-style collisions it does not matter who is doing whoever else because there is no pretense of anything deeper than whatever can be had in the moment and nobody is scattering some piss-poor approximation of love like a pinch of breadcrumbs drifting in the breeze

(sure, in that circumstance, all the pigeons get a piece but are any of them truly fed?)
060524
...
dipperwell I'm jealous that you got away scot-free.
And that you'll never know or realize that I'm a better person.
060524
...
falling_alone her name, my rival's name, was listed first, there stood my name under hers, for the exhibit our pieces are both shown in...
and i brooded over that until i realized it was all in alphabetical order.
070205
...
nom sickening 070206
...
rhin insecure.
afraid.
an emotion that is new to me, and something that i am trying to deal with. it fucks with my head.
070207
...
nom sickening 070321
...
To Ninny the 1st oh !
it's ok to cry.. its medicine.

Elise, why do you make me climb through the boot of your car? I wasn't supposed to go home, I was supposed to get on a boat at the docks.. not far from where time began. I heard all the noises and i was really excited bouncing on my bed don't you remember?

Why was it then that you called me up to watch the planes crash into the twin towers? I don't like watching that it's horrible, it's like going to hell. I just wanted to know who effing did it!

Sweety showed me an article in Delhi, it said that the Americans did it to themselves and there were no Jews in the building. I don't know what to believe (when I went to hospital I burried a clock in the garden.. my mum was there).

If it was a small extemist group of Muslims then it was like almost unbelievable how they did it with so much synconisation and perfection. What were they trying to say? That America needs to redistribute the money - to make the world a better place? To me the world was going to hell the last 5 years - not to heaven, YOU DON'T NEED TO KILL PEOPLE LIKE THAT TO MAKE A POINT!

Why did Sweety give me a book to read?
The Magus by John Fowells. check the last chapter... I didn't make a typing error when i said if you wanted to go for a wal in Hyde park... the whole house is watching.

I wish someone would tell me the truth.

Is this a set up? When did it all start?

Stop lieing... its giving me a headache.

If it was a set up, then why was it that before I met Sweety I had a vision of me wearing all white, running a guest house in India and owning a grand Piano?

The first thing he said to me was "Piano" that was the name he gave me, he always wears white and he is the managing director of two Ayurvedic Hostels/Resorts in south India.

I wonder what's going on.

Thanks for the pink cowboy hat!
070322
...
In_Bloom Every time I see you win, I smile
Every time I see them snarl with jealousy, I smile
Every time you come to me, beaming
We smile to see them burn
090627
...
unhinged i used to be the person that got jealous. when there was no 'us' and only me, i hated to be reminded. when he kisses me and people around us snarl, they are beautiful_snarls indeed.

now when i see twitterpated couples, i smile.
090627
...
endless twisting. hot flames of inconsistency.
you've demanded so much of me.
I've conceded to it all, eventually.
follow your own rules.
swallowing restrictions like swallowing sedatives.
just turn the mind off & walk.
100913
...
falling_alone He says her name
And I want to

He says her name
Hot white searing it

He says her name
There's nothing to

He says her name
It comes up in

He says her name
Heart pounding can he

He says her name
He says mine in his sleep
160301
...
flowerock. Often synonymous with insecurity for me. Usually unnecessary, but difficult to forsee or drop, unfortunately. 160301
...
n o m compersion feels better 160302
...
birdmad Probably my most fucked-up personality trait 160302
...
Tail-devouring Snake points to what is important to me
the hot flames
hot wind lashes my cheeks
immobile rage

i want that.
i want that now.
why is it yours?
it should be mine.
160304
...
bin glossoms hey_jealousy 160307
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from