Jason three days seems like an eternity when you're waiting to get your happiness back. 990205
emily When I'm a real old lady wrapped warmly in blankets and I look at my mate and see the same love and fire that I saw there when we were young and niave...
Then, I'll know who my soulmate is
Nikki Free three days?
try three years.
splinken "people need me. I fill
them. if they can't see me
for a while they get desperate, they get

from "Chopin Bukowski" by Charles Bukowski
silentbob i think people have many soulmates. These are there friends, relatives, and people they can fall in love with. There is also the antithesis of soulmates. I don't know what they are called. maybe they are just your enemies. but they are people that you cannot surround yourself with and cannot get along with. soulmates you can, they make your life better.
and sometimes there comes a time when you must move on, and let relationships die. neither mate is pulling their own weight and you just have to go.
me you 010525
Pythagorus Did you know wolves mate for life?

Eagles too.

A soulmate is the one person completely compliments your personality and being. Where you are out, they are in. Like lego blocks, you fit perfectly together... Everyone has one exact match. Some people are destined not to be with their soulmate, even though they have one. I think everyone has the opportunity though.

Have you ever seen two atoms attract to eachother to form a molecule? It's very romantic.

Triple covalency = soulmates

... figure that one out!
Dafremen Too many people out there are looking for someone that thinks like they do and understands them perfectly. Why? Don't you already have someone like that in EVERY relationship you're in? (YOU.) When opposites attract, the ride can be a ROUGH one, that's for sure...but ultimately, if you can ride out the first years, and both of you can learn to rely on each others strengths to cover your weaknesses, there is nothing closer to the definition of soulmate than this.

I have found that, I believe. I'm the kinda guy who takes family and marriage VERY seriously. That kinda happens when you have no family of your own growing up.
The wife's situation was very similar yet very different:
She has 6 sisters and 7 brothers and she was the youngest of all. As you can imagine, after raising 13 kids, her mother was tired of babysitting, so she would send her to her brothers' and sisters' houses, who in turn would pawn her off on friends, it was all very sad and lonely for her.

We both wanted a family very much and we both wanted to avoid treating our children the way we had been treated.
I think we've done pretty well.

I know I could never have mellowed out as much as I have without her conservative nature keeping me in check. (Shoulda seen her laugh in my face when I put a lit cigarette out on my hand. SHE was training ME?!) She did too. I helped her to become more confident and independent, to see herself as useful instead of useless as she was raised to believe.
I love mornings, she loves evenings.
I like loud music, she can't stand it unless she's had a few brandy and cokes first(which isn't often enough.)
I like thrills, she had a heart attack going through the Ages 2 and up Funhouse with a 1 year old crawling ahead of her.
She's the hardest working person that I know, I'm the laziest man on the planet(and nope, still no endorsement deals yet.)
She gives VERY sincerely and honestly, so do I, and we both love to be pampered so that works out well.
She mothers me, I've needed one for years. I baby her and put her needs ahead of EVERYONE's, which SHE's needed for years.
She a perfect mother to our children, ever the push over, always there..not the Betty Crocker kind of there...the real, from-the-heart kind of there.
I on the other hand am dysfunctional in a benign way that I refuse to pass off to my kids. I'm strict, but fair and I always follow through and rarely cut deals(unless I REALLY need a good backrub) with consequences. I don't have a lot of time for anyone, but I make time for everyone and I let everyone know how much I love them with a little one on one time every day and a little all together time every night.

I love her dearly and I suppose I have enough faith in what we have to finally be able to say that I believe that she loves me too and we've both needed that for a very long time.

Yes, she's my soulmate alright, and it wasn't because we CLICKED off the bat either. We FOUGHT, some of the WORST most PUBLIC spectacles you could IMAGINE. We did some of the craziest THINGS you could imagine. There were several "power struggles" throughout the years, and we finally reached JUST the right place....equilibrium.

Soulmates are like diamonds, you don't just pick em up all shiny and pretty, you find em rough and you work hard to polish em, and they work at polishing you too. If a facet just cant be cut,cuz your soulmate doesn't have that facet in them, you have to be willing to change your original design.

Not EVERYONE is soulmate material either, don't spend too much time polishing rocks. They may end up LOOKING pretty, but in the end, they're still just rocks.
Unified Voice So you and your wife compliment each other well it seems. I have noticed that people are paired up by (divinity) in order to "polish" each other the way you have described. It's true, it's not always a love_at_first_sight situation. Sometimes soulmates are enemies first. It all depends on what you both need. Two people joining together to become one is either a highly advanced topic that no one really understands it, or it's a very simple topic that humanity has lost touch with over the ages of questing for wealth.

It all pans out in the end though. You look back on your life and say, "oooohhhh! So that's why that happened the way it did..."
Dafremen And THAT's really just for the sake of the moment's entertainment...not that it could make one iota of the past or the present better or worse. Yes indeed. I think we do agree and I won't even stop at the word "divinity" because I don't believe that it's pertinent to your point which is a pretty damned good one.

Too many people expect understanding and trust to be the "foundation" of the relationship, but at the same time,they expect it to be there from the start. Foundations don't materialize have to form them and give them time to set and let everything settle first...then you get yer understanding and your trust. Always though, there is give and there is take. It's all delightfully entertaining and I'm so glad to be alive and sentient. I would like to thank everything for that opportunity and reiterate that I AM truly grateful for even the worst of times. I imagine the missus might do the same...I'll let her speak for herself.
dionysos we would be perfect for each other if only we were different people 020306
werewolf does that go beyond sexual attraction, what does this soul imply, could i have a soulmate without a soul? yeah...i think maybe...different words for the same thing. Fact is, if you can find the adventure and the salve in the same place, there's no need to ever leave, just change the settings and let yourself go. Not easy though...never is. "I had sought to love you in the high old way of love, and yet we've become as weary hearted as that hollow moon" 020306
erinicolejax I know that if I cannot love you in this life I will love you in another. You are me and I you. We will find each other in a quiet moment of happiness someday that will last a lifetime. 020602
bethany manz is my soulmate, almost to the point of making me think i loved her in a different way, but then i realised, no. i just missed her and wanted to tell her, so i did without touching her. now we can still be soulmates

what kills me are the souls i know are not my soulmates but the pangs of love are just as strong. perhaps if i ignore him for another 6 months. or maybe he is but just not yet, not yet.
blown cherry I always thought he had that title reserved for someone else, someone for whom fond memories will always remain,
but he used it in reference to me, and it made me so happy I wanted to cry and just hug him forever.
Rower1 I have a soul mate. I'm female, and so is she. To me that seems perfectly ok. And i guess it is. Im not gay. but i cant imagine spending my time with anyone else but her. I mean yeah fair enough we all have various relationships in life, but really i dont want to get married and have a family. I cant imagine sharing my life with anyone but her. I want to live my life with her. Just me and my soul mate. Next year i start my first year of boarding school. I only come home every few weekends. I hate being away from her and dont know if i can do this because of the fear of loosing her. Ater boarding school i have university, and then work, maybe new home, new town. Is there anway we can be together forever? I want her in my life by my side everyday, but is this possible. She is away form me at the moment for 2 weeks....the pain is too much already after 4 days. What can i do? My life is too much like tooth paste and orange juice at the moment and i dont like it. Help me. Please. Maybe i'm just week on doubting our friendship. Im adopted, ive lost my mother and father, and brother already, i have new parents and thats great but i want more...i want my soul mate forever. I dont want to lose the best thing in my life. I need my soul mate like a fish needs water. What can i do? 020804
Freak He describes me as the female version of him. Then he decribes himself as the male version of me. 020804
Rower1 Two hearts, one soul. Shes my only hope that there is good in this shitty world. Hold on to your soul mates people....there the only ones who know you, who you can trust, and above all they love you the same way you love them. I have one and i always will. 020804
Lemuel and tell me, Oh Aristophanes, how you know that you were from this person rent long ago in timeaway, being prescient in reverse as you must be...or was it something you ate? 020804
megan you are my soulmate forever and ever. no one can ever change that or take that away from me. i love you with the love of Jesus, simple and true, and forgiving. what else is heaven made of? 021118
*silent screams My soul still searches the depths of the ocean of life for yours. Seems like u got lost in forever so long ago - still i search, and forever will until we entangle, flesh on flesh, raw soul on raw soul. Your the never ending search that i will never turn my back on, your the truth that destroys my lie. The answer to all the confusion of my questions, and the only sun in my sky. Forever and ever. i'll never be complete, until i'm complete with u 021206
The Devil Himself does not exist. 021206
Josh Maybe we should open our eyes and see what is actually there, and maybe our search will be ended. Sometimes we cannot see whats in front of us, or we chose not to because were afraid of the pain it may bring not thinking of happiness. We should take chances and live our life like theres not tomorrow but we don't. We get on the computer phone play games. what if we died? What are your regrets? I know mine....I've suffered with it for a long time but I can't help it, I wait for the suffering to end its her decision not mine. I guess this goes out to all you, life your life it today...are you certain what will happen tomorrow? Who ever reads this will forget unless you feel it. You know the time is now, and act now live your life while your long. One day....your regrets may catch up to you....maybe even today.... 030121
Aimee I found my soulmate too young, and we being so immature, we hurt each other repeatedly in what we thought was an amazing romantic story. We don't even talk much anymore. And we're learning how to just be friends... Sometimes your soulmate isn't the one who you're supposed to marry, or someone you're supposed to know all your life... Sometimes your soulmate is just someone you know... 030121
gone i miss my baby girl, my special soulmate. the one i spend endless days with doing nothing, endless days talking about nothing and everything.I met her at a rowing club, and now she's gone...gone rowing far far away from here in england, and i go on tuesday so now what? im gone and so is she.Dam. i've never loved anyone so much in my whole life. I love you gorgeous. 030420
no reason you've been in my class since the beginning of the year, and even when i didn't really know you, i was intrigued by you. (i'm sorry about the cliche. you don't deserve it, but there's no other way to put it.) you were so good with words, and your poetry and prose and anecdotes all revealed your intense imagination, sensitivity, vulnerability, humour... you were quiet and a bit standoffish at first, seeming wary around people you didn't really know, and i see why, now, because once people gain your trust, you give them so much of yourself.

some time passed and i saw you in the hallway and you looked right at me with a look of interest and friendliness in your eyes, offering me just a slight sense of the overwhelming warmth you possess. just your one look helped me forget...
and from then on i looked forward to seeing you and you seemed to be around me a lot and i felt an unspoken connection with you and i know you felt it too, you must have, because you're insanely perceptive. and then when i smiled and waved at you, you said "hey" in your traditional modest fashion, all the while smiling warmly, shyly, and flirtatiously all at the same time. you have this ability to make me smile for the rest of the day.

the year progressed and i finally got a chance to have a conversation with you, and you were so nice it was almost intimidating. you're such a good listener, and you take such a genuine interest in people and things, and funny, and so aware of subtleties, and i used to be a little intimidated by you, because i figured with your many talents, and the fact that you're so aware of others, you might be prone to making judgments. i'm ironic is that...i was so wrong. i wish you'd be as generous to yourself as you are to others. half the time you don't realise the extent of your talent, and apparently our shitty school doesn't either...
it's crazy, though, the connection. the first time i talked to you, the conversation flowed like i had known you forever, and could talk to you for hours. same with the following ones. you're so real, and honest, and sincere. and we seemed to often think the same way, and you'd say something i thinking or vice versa. even after just one 5-minute conversation. we understood each other so well... or maybe you understand everyone as well... i wouldn't be surprised.

but no...a few days ago i was thinking that i'd buy the new cat power cd, and then you mentioned cat power, and two days ago i got the new sarah slean cd and you mentioned something about her. it seems trivial, they're just cds, just coincidences, but they're not common and their music says a lot and the fact that you love them at the same time as i love them makes me love you...

and i never even said anything. just thought. did you read my thoughts? you're like some kind of soulmate. and now you're leaving and not coming back here and i'm trying, i'm trying so hard but i can't seem to make it okay.
Harry Bernstein Coping with the death of a loved one is a terrible ordeal for anyone to go through. But when that loved one is your wife to whom you have been happily married for 67 years, then the ordeal is even harder to bear...

I AM GOING THROUGH that experience. My wife of 67 years died just over a year ago of leukemia, and I still cannot reconcile myself to her loss. She was a beautiful and intelligent woman with a sweet temperament and a lovely smile, and we were more than husband and wife. We were friends, companions, lovers ó as close as two human beings could be.

It all began one hot summer night in 1934 when Ruby and I met for the first time at a dance in Manhattan. We fell in love right away. We were married one year later. It was the height of the Depression. Ruby had a job, I didnít. But many couples in those days were getting married with that unconventional arrangement ó the wife went to work while the husband stayed home to do the housework.

Fortunately, it did not take too long before I found a job, and we were able to move out of our furnished room into an apartment. We had two children, first Charles, then Adraenne. We bought a house in a suburb of Queens, and the years sped by swiftly. The children grew up, went to college, got married, and we were alone together again, just as much in love as we had ever been.

In our 60s we both retired from our jobs, sold the house and bought a new one in a retirement community in New Jersey. We made new friends. We were active physically and socially, both in the best of health. It seemed then as if life could go on forever, and it felt that way all through our 70s and 80s, and even into our 90s. But suddenly it all came to an end. Ruby was diagnosed with leukemia, and after a few months of useless treatments, she had to be rushed to a hospital one morning.

Ten days later she died. I was in the room with her when it happened, and I will never forget that terrible moment. I couldnít believe it. I didnít want to believe it. I went to the bed and held her in my arms and wept. I couldnít let go of her.

And I still havenít let go. The closets and dresser drawers are still filled with her clothing, her shoes, her purses, her jewelry. Her toothbrush is still in the bathroom. A book she was reading before she went into the hospital is still on the table in the living room, open to the page where she left off. She is with me all the time. I hear her voice. I see that lovely oval face of hers with those big brown eyes and that dark hair that never grew fully gray even when she was in her 90s, and that perennial smile of hers. And when I take a walk I can still feel her soft hand in mine.

How does one let go of all that? How does one cope? At Mount_Sinai Hospital, where Ruby died, there is a palliative_care program that counsels you on coping. Among the suggestions they give are to be with others, to talk about your loss, to share your feelings with those who have suffered the same thing. I have tried them all, and they donít work for me. My sorrow is just too deep. I have the additional support of my son and daughter, both of whom are caring and insist on my staying with them as often as possible. But sooner or later I must come home to a house that is silent and empty, with all the reminders of Ruby surrounding me.

For a younger man going through all this, there could be some solution in remarriage. But I am 93, and there is no possibility of romanceís coming to my rescue. I have never lived alone in all my life. Before my marriage I lived with my parents. I know nothing about cooking or taking care of a house. I must confess that there have been times when I wished I could join Ruby, and have given serious thought to ways and means of doing it.

But one thing has saved me from that. It was a remark that my daughter made to me. Perhaps seeing the depressed state I was in, and speaking for her brother as well, she said, ďDad, you have lost a wife. But we have lost a mother, and you are the only one left to us, and we need you

Until then I had not realized that I was not alone in my grief. They felt it as strongly as I did, and I did not realize how important or how necessary I was to them. It gave me the incentive to live and perhaps even to weather this thing out.

Recently, I took some of Rubyís clothes out of an overcrowded closet and gave them to a charitable organization. My appetite, which had all but disappeared, is slowly returning. This may be the start...of what? Coping? Forgetting? This last I will never do. There are the words of Helen_Keller that express the way I feel:

ďWhat we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us
nom that was so beautifully sad 031107
melancholic a man on the bus told me he was going to find his soul mate. he planned to hitchhike right out to squamish and start looking. smiling and laughing, he made conversations with everyone in earshot. he asked a huddling couple if they believed in god. in an exclamation of joy as we drove past the sparkling ocean, he told me that life was just beautiful. 040615
oldephebe sounds like something i read in Harpers several years back. my condolences Harry 040615
witchesrequiem I think we have more than one... rather a collection of soulmates. I think I have met a few of mine, but in this life they have already served their purpose. It's like life is just a bunch of lessons we have to learn and these soulmates are really our class mates traveling each lifetime together.
But thats just me.
puredream Won't you be my...? 040615
Spare Change and you have your puppy love and your true love and the love of your life... but you know, Soulmate doesn't have the word love in it anywhere.

Doesn't go into the messy realms of what love must mean. A pairing of souls... like socks... the mate to that white one with the red toe seam has got to be here somewhere.

but a soul... who's to say what a soul is. Well, I am. so are you at that. A soul is belief. Everyone believes things... I believe that the day starts when I get out of bed... some people believe that it starts when the sun rises... others believe it begins at 12:01 am.

And you build them up... like an endless mantra.

Take your shower in the morning... lima beans taste bad... you love sprinkles... math is only for the sane... orange is a great color...

and so forth. never repeating and one day you meet someone who's personal mantra says something like

Take your shower at night... peas are the devil's tool... you love brownies... grammar is for fools... blue is beautiful

and maybe you're mantras have the words all wrong, but like a song made to be sung in a round... the melody matches... it swirls and it mingles and the song is better now.

A soulmate is not a lover... not true love... not a best friend... or someone like you... it's belief.

I believe in you. That you can be great... that your song will soar across the world. And for anything to be... you've got to have the belief first.
question_mark Some of the most beautiful thoughts, I've read on this page...

I wish I had someone to talk to about him, but alas, i have all this emotion, conceptualisation in my head and no place to get it out. Maybe that's the best way to keep it pure, keep it sacred, out of reach of cynacism...
Sometimes I wish I had seen him hold a pen, or tie his shoelace... something real, a little more grounded in this reality that we have to live in, apart..
But it began in ideas... and there is dwelled. Now he's the DNA of my mind, the energy that connects the synapses in my brain... the joy in my laughter...
emmi well my theory is...all your actions and decisions in life reflect the person you are.
it is these decisions that lead you along your life's path.
the same is true for that someone, so eventually your paths will cross...with the person who is perfect for you in every way.
Mahayana [one could have more than a solitary soul mate]

however, we should, no doubt, be cautious about leaving a current partner merely because of an attraction to someone else. in all likelihood, the very same tribulations and "opportunities" we are currently facing would be the same regardless of which partner we have in our lives-in relationships we most often come to terms with those things we need to work on in ourselves, even though we might sometimes think of our partner as being the source of our frustration.

those who come across the idea of soul mates after having already partnered can still rest assured that their partner is, in fact, a "soul mate."

Syrope it's absolutely ridiculous how much time each day i spend thinking about you

everything i encounter i gauge your reaction to. "i bet he'd like that..." "he'd never want to try that..." "we already did that..."

and i have so much to do but i don't feel like i should even waste my time. everything feels like a waste when you're not here. i miss you so incredibly much...
andru235 if you think you have one, you do
probably you have several; a small tribe

if you think you don't have one, you will probably be quite irritated to hear that in fact, you do

that's just how it is
if this makes you angry - having a soul mate - you have probably been away from them for too long

hang in of these lives you'll reunite and it'll be just fine

(even the devils have soul-mates: gods)
(until they reunite, anyways)
her royal highness the quirk "Someone who has the same shoes as you." --my boyfriend

he's perfect for me
question_mark With you I finally feel the meaning of the word... 050130
* you
secretary we are
you and i

like a pulse
you beat in me

like a sister
you know me better

but that night
my arm wrapped
around you

fingers entwined
laying side by side

how could not
fall a bit in love?
Darin I always tip fiddle players in the Subway. It's like I'm paying my dues to my country-loving soulmate I left behind in Florida. 080314
Doar all my words,
and all by worlds,
are but aspects,
of you.

there is now room,
that I wander now,
the right way,
and the side steps.

the slip slide I knew once,
your breath upon my kneck.
i don't believe in any god,
my feet don't step,
and my fingers don't write.

there is no song,
and there is no you.

Let me go.

ever dumbening where the shit are you? 080316
anythingbutcryptic oh, i dont think you exist. 080316
anythingbutcryptic ...or maybe i met you and didnt notice. that would be so typical of me. 080316
dafremen I would like to retract most of my statements on this page. 080316
Doar hey daf,

It's good to read your words again.

Thank you.

daf : ) 080412
hsg she's watching over me now

i miss both of views
jane just because you find your soulmate doesn't mean you won't have to work things out every now & then. 090618
Lemon_Soda I can say we complement each other rather well but I don't know if I believe in the idea that there is one perfect person out there waiting for me (or vice versa). 090618
dyl now that we found each other, love isn't as easy as i thought it would be. it's actually harder. there's so much weight in a smile. and i die when you yell. but life without you would be hell and im completely for you. 090812
flowerock are you still missing them? do you think they are happy with what they see? I hope they approve of me.
Knowing you, they would be happy to see you happy.
our past shaped our souls to the shape they are now, I am thankful for that. we fit so well, had it not been for the experiences and situations and souls we'd survived through, with... then we might have passed each other by, still forming and waiting and searching.
Death213 It was always you. I miss you so much. What I wouldn't give for one more day with you. I love you forever and always gothface. Wait for me. 201206
what's it to you?
who go