wexler yuck! 001209
Mlle Avril My guitar instructor tells me about his former students, one of whom is (ahem, WAS) a guitarist for a popular alternative band that recently "broke up." He claims that she is a "cocaine fiend" and that she tells him not to use her fingernail clippings for any voodoo rituals. 001221
j_blue among other stimulants has a popular following in this modern age among various clicks throughout the_City

thankfully we have the lessons of stimulant addicts from decades past, but i still have a problem putting anything up my nose

plus i am scared (though i am pretty sure it isnt a problem for me) of addiction

plus i attained awareness during nancy reagan's reign, i feel guilty with every drinky and every puff...
left wing bird dubya the *sniff* snowman! 001222
snowbird the means by which i funded my illicit adventures when i was a boy 001222
tourist Think you don't have an addiction problem, lots of Will power. Same here.
Touched lots of things, enjoyable things scary things, always could lay them down and walk away. Snorting coke among them. Then one day someone put some crack in a joint we were sharing, and within a week I could tell I was strung out. We'd roll up three each morning, telling ourselves we'd smoke one now, and the rest later in the day.
We always ended up smoking all three one after the other, then sit around like happy zombies, unable to motivate our selves to do anything.
I had to give up everything that I was doing to get free. Beer, Cigarettes, definitely the pot. But it took an extreme force of will to do it. Crack was the first thing that I ever encountered so strong and so fast to hook me.That direct stimulation of the pleasure center in the brain so that nothing makes you feel happy is devestating. Takes the joy out of life,
I'm glad I recognized what was happening fast enough to escape.
paste! much like this coffee table,
the interstate has many white lines
blasted all over it.
except when high as fuck,
driving like a comet,
it appears like one
continuous white line.
poleah. I still can't smell anything. 010507
jane I remember when I snorted coke for the first time. I figured I couldn't get addicted if I only did it once. The next day it was all I could think about, all I wanted. I craved it so much that I had to open up the bag I got it in and scrape out what was left, just so I could get another line. I don't let myself think about it anymore. 010530
jesse never done it... 010614
nemo painfully addictive white that i'm in love with 010614
unhinged in a way it was kind of disturbing to see him chop up the vicodin on the break room table. the lines looked too suspiciously familiar. read: dennys. and my poor poor frank. 010614
the line cross over. just suck your bottom lip,
it is like kissing a dream come true.
to Ah oh yes and ummmmm....
urrrrr.. nervous sure,
the story is that I hated my voice but nothin' else!
ummmm and your study is close to an atomic bomb and quite close to a time worker,
alo quite cloae to a light glisten between glass,
and a discovery wall.
just a secret 4 me too!
Hah what wa that.........
sssssssssssss sissy wallet then in it!
jane remember when your throat went numb and you had to tilt your head back to swallow? 010618
PIPINA. who is you? 010619
Norm I'm supposed to do this next summer. I'm gonna lead a cult. I think it'll help. 010826
nemo o, how i crave 010922
barbiturate i've had thoughts of trying it. i didn't expect to have those kinds of thoughts. 010922
lovers lament you pull out your smokes and i see the
folded piece of magazine
sigh inwardly, guess it's another coke night
take inventory of your face, you somehow manage to look more
exhausted than yesterday.
how is that dear rainman?
have you lost sight of yourself so quickly?
listen to staind as i roll a joint, all the while wondering just how much you're putting up your nose this time around.
maybe i wasn't there for the last little binge, but i'm here now.
so what are you doing to yourself?
can't sleep, wonder why...why don't you think about this?
how many grams have you knocked off today, you think no one noticed?
sure, cut me a line... wait a minute.
i'm telling you to stop, but i'm getting into it too.
so maybe i feel like a hypocrite when i'm concerned for you.
as unfathomable as this may be
not everything is addictive to everyone, and coke's just not really addicting me. so maybe i have the right
to say, hey, slow your roll.
because maybe that's all it really is, you just need to be told.
break those chains that bind you so tightly.
smoke all the pot you want, just no more cocaine least for awhile.
paste! return policy: where do you want to be? 011228
ClairE Oh, Bobby. 011229
jane psycho groupie cocaine crazy 020321
MollyCule sleep may be the enemy
but so's another line
jane krystle is gonna get some soon
and i think i'm goin in on that
just for old times' sake
Mistress Q I'm washing away your pain with all my tears.
This pain's become mine over the years.
Your quiet cries that only I hear.
Silently as I drown your fear.

I'm cleaning up this mess you made.
The stains that just won't sem to fade.
The splattered sheets on which you laid.
This awful bloody mess you made.

I'm dieing to feel you by myside.
I'm dieing just so that you cannot hide.
I'm dieing for all the times they lied.
I'm dieing to feel how it felt when you died.
the game When I grow up I want to sell cocaine and cocaine accessories. 030711
Tatiana Frost the Snowman. I like using dollar bills. The black construction paper makes it easier to see the dust. Drip, drip, drip. Nice and easy. My friend tells me to turn the baggie inside out and lick it. Mmmm. 030925
T yummy when in a blunt 031017
Death of a Rose bin there, done that, overated 031017
cupcake my mom's boyfriend for a while drank a lot and did cocaine. he was really really mean when he was drunk, and he was even meaner when he was doing cocaine, and when i was staying with them they would keep me up late arguing, and i could hear in my mom's voice that she jsut wanted it to end so she could go to sleep, but he kept yelling. i always listened close, because if he ever hurt her, i would tell my uncle and her boyfriend would go away forever. he didnt, and he stopped doing cocaine almost a year ago, and he doesnt drink as often anymore. he's still kind of mean, but they dont argue like they used to, and im not so scared anymore, it just makes me want to leave. 031017
power trip i can't listen to the meaningless chatter in the background of my mind.
i only have to make a call, i look and then i find.
take me up, i'm going home, don't call me, i'm all alone.
Alpha_Shell She was supposed to have submitted her exhibition piece the previous day, but 'events' had transpired to see that this wouldn’t happen, so she'd promised to have it in by 9am the next morning, cutting a very fine line in final preparation time.

At 10:45am the next morning, her personal tutor made his way over to our hall, and walking into our room ((the door was open)) surveying the destruction we'd wrought over the past week, said simplySo, I take it the work isn't going to be in on time then...”

To which she looked up, dazed, from her foetal position on the floor and repliedWhat gave it away first?
The blood, or the lines of cocaine..."
3 the snow queen 040316
people if i could i your horoscope 040320
motorheadbanger I love the cocaine i love the cocaine. mamma..... 040416
Manica hello? who sings that song man! "i love the cocaine, i love the cocaine,mamma..." do you know who sings that? i know its just a one hit wonder but it's sooo awesome! plz email me and tell me!!! 040802
eklektic im dating a cocaine dealer 041203
eklektic ok not really. but we cuddle often. 041203
Forming Mind a rush of pain and a rush of subtance.
to kill the mind. to kill the eyes. pull away the autumn smell. take the feeling from the hand. running blood, pure crimson streaked sheets. creaking doors and gasping breaths. laughter streaking steamed windows, low voices on low beams. distorted images enrapture vision. let it go. let it live. see the deminsions before you die thinking "if only" and "it was too short." And leave all the what ifs and maybes to the scavengers picking the sidewalk. Curiousity may kill but it brings the most life before the murder.
applegirl This is how it should be
we will get some first off
from a sketchy hooded boy
who looks like he's wasting
and then we will go somewhere
i will probably try and get into
my role as a junkie
and you might think im acting
kind of strange
because i want to have dark circles on my eyes
and so we will fill our noses
with dusty chemical highs
a thimble in time What are drugs that we should get so excited about? A few hours we feel different. Life seems fuller. But we forget to take the fullness with us.
Or maybe we can't because it was never really there to begin with
applegirl Fullness is in everything
existent or not
and so i balance reality
with carnivals
with sparkly chemicals
and jungle forests
and make the rest up
because life is what
you make it up to be
and my reality
is overflowing vibrantly
and i am asphixiated with
applegirl ...and by the way
the fullness that is there
is in every moment
there is no end
or beginning
it is all continuous
to think in terms of segmented time
is to close off possiblities
of thinking like a river
Forming Mind And we sill sit across.
a white pure line seperating us.
rolling dollar bills and clicking credit cards.
Our eyes will meet before to smirk
And the next seconds will fly by
crimson running noses
and watery eyes as powder shoots higher and higher.
I'll lay back and stare at the ceiling and feel my chest rise with each breath.
Seperated hair will shake and feet will dance.
We'll look back to remember the night we spent in Jesus's womb.
unhinged 'you know i haven't talked to him in almost a year'

'well he's not doing coke anymore'

'i'll believe that when i see it'
applegirl and what do people do
after cocaine
ride bikes? write stories...
paint paintings of girls with gaping mouths and dialated pupils
their hair a mess
or sip tea long enough to realize
we can't be sipping tea
when we are being frightful
and we will go out
and haount people
with our funny
gaping eyes
gaping holes
Forming Mind skinny girls with sniffing noses
dancing on the slides,
and jumping from swings.
Pretend to be real
when we all know they've seen the underside.
The opposite side of real and tangible truths.
They giggle and sniff, rubbing mascara from under their eyes.
It's changed some say, the way we have grown.
But we'll blame it on the barn's spot for lines and the beauty of the world.
laced is like being with someone you love 041214
1211 Afghans' Gains Face Big Threat in Drug Traffic - at The New York Times (reg. req'd) (Dec 11, 2004)
- Afghan officials pledge to turn tide on opium production - AFP via Yahoo! News (Dec 11, 2004)
somebody "of its burgeoning opium industry within the coming year." 041214
Afghanistan On Thursday Karzai ( President Hamid Karzai) declared a "holy_war" on a drug industry which

produces almost 90 percent of the world's opium.
applegirl our nerves will
fray and coil up
and poke eachother
and we wont have tissues
so i will have to use my sleeve
and we won't have jungle
gyms so
i will pretend to be a jungle anyway
with fluttering
blue heartbeats
Forming Mind our hearts will beat
so fast that heads will spin
spining a little faster,
our hearts will pound.
louder than the drums you hear.
My world will blur to clarity
and all I'll do is smile.
A giggle and sniff
touching objects, feeling things.
The world will have never seemed,
never been so beautiful in three-dimension.
And when we fall at last,
you'll lay your head on my stomach
and we'll talk still in tongues.
tongues that trail and curl,
pronouncing nothing correctly.
but meaning everything perfectly.
Forming Mind slowly forming, crystal palaces.
white grains, single lines.
Like school children forming for recess.
Gathered, intentively ready for fun.
Rolling, making paper twirls.
Sniffing, inhaling, running along.
Nose is itching, burning, and twitching.
Head pounds, fever is reacing.
Eyes blur and crimson pearls drip from nose.
We will be in slow motion at first,
motions being complex and powerful.
And then we will stop and stare.
Looking from eye to eye.
White powder dreams
taking shape
in a small
applegirl dizzy
like out of breath blue
and crooked rooms
Untied my shoes
beacuse I wanted to
and i will laugh at you
in our angular womb
a barn
built for two fast motion girls
while everything else
is floating slowly
like those dust speckles
that appear in morning sunlight
Forming Mind time will fold in on itself.
clocks will spin in the reflection of our eyes.
Ones will look at our dark eyes
and wonder where we went wrong.
Their understandings far from shore.
I will fly to you
on pixie dust for two.
And my nose will tune
to the music pounding in our ears,
In our temples, causing us to twitch.
The barn walls sway,
move to this same rhythm
shone by the two white lines
that disappeared into our minds.
lines and a note got it off a bald barefoot guy dressed in white who called himself Ghandi.
stayed up all night in our tiny hotel room singing
horrible taste when u rub it on your gums
my nose was fucked up for weeks
but i perk up whenever anyone mentions ghandi
charlie my good friend where have you been for so long!
belle de jour worth every ounce of health you pay for it 050823
unhinged ok so i guess i'm just not a stimulant person and i've had bad second_hand experience, but i HATE this drug. more than meth, more than h, more than oxys, i HATE coke. why?

coke will turn you into an unrecognizable asshole mmmm'kay?
pete it's a strange sensation when you slowly realize that three of the five people in the car are cocaine dealers, if only on a small scale, and well respected individuals nonetheless.

we were driving down to the st. lawerence for the annual staff party, a day of paced drinking where even the lightweights get up to 10 or 12 beer by the time they pass out with the rising sun. the conversation between the three was vieled, hinting that they were dealing in something, but their hangovers made their voices hard to understand. somehow, though, when the talk to turned to the owners and their friends i knew these guys weren't dealing in weed.

"just don't go above 120, we definitely don't want to get pulled over today." one said. we sped up, in a hurry to get to the island and begin our day off--one of only four or five days a year the restaraunt closes.

at one point in the night one of the guys, my former gm, started yelling for someone to get me a line. the respect fell, and then i realized we were both quite drunk and all i had to do was bring up the fact that he was wearing a helmet while sitting on the beach for him to forget what he was doing and stop.

its funny how i felt like i was back in highschool, at a field party out near bobcaygeon or in mariposa somewhere. there were two girls my age, and most people where in their late 20s or early 30s, yet they had never, in a social framework sense, left highschool. only know, instead of smoking pot they snorted coke, and in this realization i wanted to get off the island, knowing the ferry wouldn't be back for another eight hours... (all ended well, though, a good time had all around)
i flushed it down the tiolet but wish i hadnt now yeah coke is good stuff, it makes you feel great for a nice 20min or so, that's a fact. truth is that after those 20min are gone you find yourself wanting more, even if you're a mild user or a beginner. you start questioning the act of snorting coke and your conviction of never doing it again, somehow it just seems acceptable to do it again, at least until you run out of it - then you'll never touch the thing again, no way man! fuck it. you won't. but the urges, the urges are just that they become the reason why you'd call up your friend again and ask him to join you for some beers and yes! some cocaine. or maybe you won't call anyone, fuck it, call the dealer and get some for you and only for you, the fucking shit is expensive anyway, and you know you'd want every last bit of it. 050824
just wondering . 060209
ivyducktwilightseto my older brother was trying it for the first time a few days after new years with a few friends. They tried to get me to do a bump, but I turned them down. Eventually matt (brother) convinced me to just put a little bit on my tongue. It got pretty numb and a started feeling a pretty could buzz, Or whatever you call that... feeling. Only lasted a little bit though. I'm pretty glad I didn't snort any. Maybe some other time. 060209
Naz the first time i did it the buzzz was wicked i couldn't stop talking and evry time i did after the buzzzz was never the same but it's cool to do weekends with a drink and a sliff after so i'm enjoying life with abit of coke here and there 060213
jeremy i'm actually on cocaine right now, it's my first time. i did one average sized line (i guess) about half an hour ago and it doesn't seem all too fantastic. i don't feel much different and the drip is nasty. i don't believe cocaine is for me, and from what i'm reading and have read over the past year and some, i'm happy to report that. 060417
jane even the idea of it used to make me shake. but i'd rather do it now than the valium pill on my desk. 060418
poet i know this kid whos fuucking up his life. hes a nice guy, and i thought he was just sorta messed up, but nothing bad. but i heard about him doing coke the other day, and i was sorta surprised. but apparently thats old news, and now hes a crackhead. gaaah. 060418
jordie i don't eat or sleep for two days when I'm on it.

I love it.
I'd do it again and again but I don't have a job. Don't have cash.

Plus, my boyfriend gets mad, even though he's a cokehead. And he won't give me any.

jane started reading "white lines" but i had difficulty getting through it as it made me not only crave the stuff but crave more of the dragon as well 060813
violet another trip to the bathroom. and you know you shouldn't, but the urge won't leave you--it's forcing itself down your throat as you close the stall door. you lick your lips and taste adrenaline. anticipation. fingertips brushing against cellophane, tightly bunched in your thumb and forefinger, sealed tightly, holding your crystalline madness. your sleep of angels. your sanity. your heartbeat accelrates rapidly, and you haven't even begun yet. the jangle of keys idly distracts you as you gingerly unwrap the plastic between your fingers, and it lolls about in delicious granules. you're being sucked into a vacuum. sounds distort as if you're rushing through a tunnel--a stream--a place that's not a gritty bathroom stall, in a seedy bar, in drowned, soggy new orleans. you always use the same key to deliver the first hit. the car key to your '97 altima does the first round of damage, scraping the white powder from the plastic and small, white mounds. the '97 altima that you hydroplaned in and totaled; the car that your parents got for you to replace your old tin can excuse for transportation. and then you bring the tip of the key to your nose, and inhale deeply. colors retract, bend, swirl. the world lights up in technicolor, no longer dull and grey. your brain begins to tick and you become fixated at a glimmering above the corner of your eyes. and the taste, the bitter, delicious taste dripping down your throat. another key, another hit; deeper colors; roses, blues, mahogany. your front teeth disappear all at once, bowing out from your nerve endings and synapses like bit players in a broadway play. alive and awake and ready. sliding down on a silver wave of contentedness. your secret that no one will find out about, no one will save you from or care about. you're high as a fucking kite and you might as well be sailing past paris and the eiffel tower. distractedly, you think of that smashing pumpkins lyric, off the adore album: "you remind me of that leak in my soul". does any of this remind you of what you lack? you begin breathing deeply, and take one more hit, feeling it to your core now. you're there. you're at the edge and you're waiting for someone to push you over. and you think, when did you become the girl with the insatiable craving, the girl that missed the feeling of being high? when did living become a burden, and life nothing more than intermission between altered states? stepping back out, you're floating at the top of the room. time to go. and the feeling of having it tucked away in your purse makes you feel warm inside, safe. it'll always be there for you, until the end. forever and ever, amen. 060930
Jared the i love the cocaine song is I Love the Cocaine by Buckcherry funny thing is a coke user named dale that i knew used to get high with them... Hope this gets to you in time.... 061124
Ouroboros during meditation, memories of sophmore year came up, and a memory of the cocaine my friends and i were doing, and i got this huge horrid body shudder of craving and addiction and poison, as if i could feel the claws of coke in my cells. blecch. 061125
hsg is now a drink 061125
i hear its a drink? 061125
Doar jager_bombs 061125
hsg yes, drink like a red bull. obv controversial as i have yet to see it in the stores of up-tight N.E. USA. but its out there. 061211
laced It tastes like chemicals, is more powerful than red bull and leaves you tweaked and jittery sometimes

like bad coke
jane {ouroboros,
i get
a similar
at simply the
of it.}
nom i don't want to do it 081001
kipper scientology brain food... 081002
what's it to you?
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