mormon
MollyGoLightly They wear special underpants. 000521
...
the schleiffen man i tried being mormon once and it didn't work. that's what usually happens when you don't try. i think i'd better get off my ass this time. 000521
...
lisa_is_bionic Isn't Pepsi owned by Mormons? 000526
...
kaskarkaminski I was too afraid those rubber bands would cut off the circulation to my feet 000803
...
typhoid a common misspelling. only one r is needed. 000804
...
typhoid a common misspelling. only one m is needed.
okay.
point taken.
000804
...
kitty when i was 13 i went to girls camp with all the other bitches in my ward. one night we sat around a campfire and passed a rose around that everyone was aloud to touch and look at. they asked us "BIG" questions, like, "If you were 16 and on a date (if you're mormon you have to be 16 to date) with a boy you really really liked, and he leans over to kiss you, but open mouthed, how would you avoid it?" well, duh, if you're 16 and you really really like the guy you're gonna fucking kiss him. but this is bad bad bad... the rose example was to show us what happens if a girl is "passed around" and "felt" and "opened up" by many people: it wilts. i do not like being told that science is completely fallible and carbon dating is wrong because the bible says the earth is only 6000 yrs old. a sunday school teacher preached this upon me a few times. i don't go to church any more cuz they don't have satisfactory explanations for things. 000806
...
MaryJane i met a seemingly decent guy last july. he wasn't quite mormon then. he was a liberal little punk boy. then he had a revelation and decided he had to revert to his religion. this wouldn't have bothered me so much had he not tried to drag me into his converted state so that he could leave me waiting for him through his two year mission. 001105
...
starlette i tried it once...

...like most things that come by way of peer pressure...it wasn't so great.
010209
...
silentbob i think they believe that they have conversations with god, like actual ones through prayer, not just left satisfied with strength and empowerment, but actual mental conversations, i think. i read this somewhere.
Orson Scott Card is a mormon. the guy on orgazmo is, Elder Joe Young. such a great movie.
010209
...
chanaka an interesting, almost infamous religion. one that i would like to read more about....a rarity in itself (since i am athiest). 010210
...
peyton I have lots of family who are mormon. I once considered being one myself. I've been to all the mormon holy places.. I've felt the ground in which the holiest of the mormon relics was found.

I think there is a lot of truth in it. They are very nice people, and have the right ideals concerning morality, virtue, and honesty. My only problem was they spent too much time convincing each other that their religion was the true one.

I couldn't join because I felt like they doubted the truth themselves. That, and I don't want to go on a mission, simply because I'm not the missonary type.

They shouldn't be persecuted. People shouldn't make jokes like, 'Only one 'M' is needed.' Those people are ignorant, and know little about the religion.

And the rose analogy was a true one. Get past your own hormones and try not to screw every penis that will allow you to mount it.

People should know more facts about things, before they pass judgement.
010210
...
unhinged there are a lot of mormons in my town. most of them are nice friendly people. but the religion itself scares me. my brother would always go to wednesday night church thingie with my neighbor down the street who was mormon at the time and they kept trying to convert him and my family. i find religious conversion very abhorrent. most of the teenage mormons in my town are alcoholic drug addicts. an angel came down to him and told him where to find the golden tablets that he needed magic glasses to translate? i don't know about that one....but then again i think all organized religion is superfluous. 010210
...
deflowered or perhaps, peyton, the penis should try not needing to fuck every flower it sees. mr. penis needs to learn more restraint if you ask me. 010210
...
tulip or maybe, just maybe, the flower should be a bit more choosy about just which penis, exactly, she lets in
don't worry. if you're like me, you'll bloom again
010214
...
peyton ::reads the line from Tulip, stands.. applauds..::

Tis the nature of a penis to run amok. Tis the duty of the flower to stay somewhat pure.

Yeah.. it's a double standard. But it's what we must deal with.
010215
...
*Ziima* I believe when I was very young I was taught that Mormons believed in having more than one wife. Is this true?

Also...I think Mormons are more tolerated because they're not as annoying as jahovas.
010220
...
j_blue my mother told me to beleive what feels right. growing up mormon, i heard alot of shit from alot of people. when i went to college i heard even more. people suck. i wish people didnt talk shit so much about things they dont know about. it sucks.

i went to this christian school for a while, and that was the first time i heard religious jokes. before then i didnt know that there were clicks that made fun of other churches. we lied and told everyone we were christian (actually we didnt lie, but we did deceive them), and they totally talked shit about catholics (my grandmother's religion) and latter_day_saints

they sucked

i always look to my grams and my moms for an example. they were both completely cool with each other's religion, and were totally cool to me about it. there was respect. when i stayed at grams sat night, sunday morning was at catholic church. otherwise i went to mormon church. that was it, no biggy. they never talked shit, and nobody in my family ever talked shit. they expected us to go to church on sunday, but never asked us to do anything else.

we took the other church goers with a grain of salt; catholic, mormon, or any of the standard christians. they were all people, subject to being normal or weird, but never an authority on what i should beleive.

there is just too much shit on this god damned planet
010220
...
unhinged mormons at one time did practice polygamy. there are two different schools of thought as to why. but, when utah was a candidate for statehood the federal government made them outlaw the practice in order to become a state. mormons haven't practiced polygamy for over 100 years i'm pretty sure. 010220
...
grendel i have nothing against the religion, per se, i just wish they weren't just like every other conservative christian group when it came to the political candidates that pollute this state's legislature.

I just hope that the planned redistricting breaks up those insular little zones where the same far-right wingnuts (Mormons and otherwise, i'm not just blaming them) keep sending the same kind of far right jackasses to DC

if i could afford to leave arizona i would
010221
...
Aimee my dad became mormon to get a chick... fucking prick. 010729
...
mulder mormons? you call somebody a mormon and all they do is stand there grinning mormonally.... god homer simpson rules 010729
...
Mushroomman god damnit..they come into my work... about 5 minutes to closing

and they want ice cream... after i just wiped down the glass in the front.... and... they put their dirty little fingers on it.... you know a moron..opps heh heh.. i mean mormon when you see one... especially if you were once one yourself...
010810
...
. : * p s y b o r g * : . A sexist religion. Guys can have five wives, but women can only have one husband. Fuck you sexist pigs. 011029
...
girl_jane --direct descendent of Joseph Smith 020518
...
reitoei according to the new yorker, mormon's will be one of the dominant economic influences in five years. 020518
...
Jacer he's a mormon, but to fully understand who he is, you'd have to read my vacation journal 020518
...
nametag: billnotbillalmostbillsometimes fuck, they mustabeen right all along 020519
...
Bruce Interesting web site... anyway, I am Morman myself but I am still not a full believer. I try to keep my lack of faith private because if my people in my church knew I would be lectured like a 5 yr old who just broke a window with a baseball. For the most part I like the church but I don't see or feel anything special, maybe it's the wrong time in life or maybe it's all wrong for me. I do believe in some kind of "higher power" but the Morman church may not or may hold the answers. Also one more thing to those people who say things like "sacred underwear" and other stuff, know your facts before you start to judge. If you have any questions ask a Morman, I found my faith more if some asked the big questions. 020701
...
god mormons rock ass, dude 020701
...
paste! i am the caffeine
and i sound like this
(naoao, naoao)
020701
...
A Mormon 1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon this the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

11. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul. We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

-----

There were no magic glasses used for the translation of the gold plates, God gave Joseph Smith the ability to read the plates and helped him translate them.

The polygamy was very important for the survival of people. The men were being killed and persecuted and there were not enough of them to take care of the women one on one so the wealthier men took on multiple wives to provide for them.

And by the way, they talk to the penises too, not just the flowers. It is a two sided battle for purity.
020713
...
yep on the standard mormon explanation of polygamy: isn't it possible to provide for (clothe, feed) a widow without *marrying* her? 020714
...
sonic just to clear this up for you all...mormons do not practice pologamy anymore. they used to a long long time ago but it was outlawed from the church and so mormons don't do it anymore. i think that you guys should get to know mormons before you judge them because they are great people...i happen to be one. i have to let you know something.. the church is perfect but the people aren't. the people have a right to choose to do as they wish. but what the church teaches is to do good stuff and to have faith. just because you don't understand something you shouldn't go around making fun of it just because of rumors that you have heard. if you want to know more about the church you should ask someone that actually knows something about it....a mormon. not one that is not mormon anymore because all they will do is talk bad about it but someone that is still a member. 021226
...
sicily all the rules that us mormons have are not there to make us miserable but to help us. we can choose to follow them or not and if we do follow them then we will be happier and won't have to suffer the consequences. for example if you have sex before marriage then theres a chance that you will become pregnant or get a STD. or if you do drugs or alcohol you could get addicted or get a disease and die. so our rules are there to help us and give us more freedom rather then taking it away. we still have our freedom to do what we want but if we follow the rules then we will be happier and actually have more freedom. 021226
...
blather bitch hahahaha

not to mention

HAH
021227
...
Ward Cleaver
LSD not LDS
030123
...
Aimee yeah... I was looking through the book of mormon and I found a passage (2nd Nephi 5:20-?) where they actually state that black people were once white people who had sinned so horribly against God that their skin was turned black and if they repented to God's satisfaction, they would be made white again....


that's just fucked up.
030330
...
satan satan satan My state had a nutty right-wing Mormon for a governor back when i was a teenager and last election. The guy managed to cost the state hundreds of millions of in lost business and tourism revenues from all the stupid shit he would say anytime he had a microphone in his face. Seriously, this guy made Dubya look like a political genius. His first act was to rescind the etate Executive Order which gave us the MLK observance, He once reffered to black people as ...and i'm not making this up..."Pickaninnies" and then tried to downplay it as though it was some sort of "term of endearment." He made the remark after a state business and commerce trip to Japan that upon his mention of the sheer number of golf-courses here in the Phoenix area alone (and again, i'm not making this up) "Boom! everybody in the room suddenly got round eyes.

One of our state legislators, a charming little old lady from one of the many wards and stakes in the suburb of Mesa, launched into a some strange tangent once during a session relating to a hate-crimes bill that among other things homosexuality leads to (and i'm still not making any of this up)"Satan-worship," "gay bowel disease," and "cannibalism." (i shit you not)

we almost ended up with one who, while less nutty was still a right-wing jackoff. He didn't say anything extraordinarily stupid, except maybe for his budget plan. Because i'd really like to know how one goes about balancing a budget that includes a ton of deficit spending versus a seriously slashed revenue base. Did he plan on having the elders and the prophets pull some miraculous fortune out of their ass to cover the bounced checks

And then of course there was the guy who had to be the biggest walking dichotomy in the state... a gay, mormon republican naval reserve officer. Considering the virulent strain of foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalists in the chambers across the plaza at the House of Reps, that has to be a confusing experience

And then there is a renegade sect tht still practices polygamy that occupies a small cluster of little towns on either side of the AZ/UT border, and occasionally weird news percolates down from up in the boondocks. Weapons stockpiles, girls being arranged into marriages while still below the legal age. Stories of abuse, etc...And yet, for all the denunciatios that come from here and SLC in Utah, nobody really actually does anything about it.

Living in one of their political power bases, i think i know enough to be suspicious.
030331
...
cube It's no surprise to see Satan's tirade against the mormons. It only weighs in favour of their validity - if mormonism wasn't valid in the eyes of God, Lucifer wouldn't give a damn...
030331
...
User24 I don't mind the mormons, although 'they' tend to use salesman tactics (at least here in UK), they're doing it for their beliefs, not a paycheque, so I respect them for that. 030401
...
satan satan satan If you actually lived in AZ or UT you wouldn't be so hasty to dismiss what i said. All of it is public record.

And i'm not Lucifer, I'm Satan. I swear, ever since those seventy idiots started re-translating the testaments, they really fucked that shit up. Too many concepts that some of them didn't know how to convert from one language to another

Lucifer is the jailer, I am the prosecuting attorney... My name means "The Accuser" and all of my acts are celestially sanctioned.

There's more than one devil in charge of hell, and i ain't one of 'em.

i do however have access to the golf course and can arrange special privileges for some of my convictions.

Plea Bargaining, man, plea bargaining.
030401
...
User24 satan is the prince of darkness, right?
but lucifer is translated as "lord of (the) light".

it maketh no sense.
030403
...
satan satan satan "Prince of darkness" is one of those later bits of human contrivance.

First the Seventy mistranslate and mix me up with my misguided, but necessary brother. Then everyone else in history commensurate compounds the fuckup.

Though i'll admit a failure on my part to clear the air as it is fun to play at being the boogeyman.

I propose the tests of the faithful,
i am the "bad cop."


Lucifer though not far from an appropriate name for my brother in his original state, is still a misnomer, an error in translation from his original name. "Lucifer" means "Light-bringer" which is a humbling (think of a modest torch-bearer) name (probably why he fucks with you peole all the time)

Properly, his name is/was Helel ben Sahar "LIght of Morning"

Imagine if you will, first having God's favor taken from you and being given to a bunch of criminally inclined primates like humanity, then, for challenging him on the subject, Bro got kicked out of the Upstairs suite and had to move into the basement. I meanwhile, for speaking on his behalf, am now stuck here in the lobby of this celestial hotel we call "The Universe."

Then of course is our bother brother Samm. Dad still hasn't forgiven him for that little prank he pulled on those dumbassed delinquents in the Garden.

The fact that i can see both sides of the argument is why i am not so deep in the dog-house with the old man as Helel is. So here i am in Arizona. Which, while not far from the Basement, is close enough. and please, don't make me press the momron issue any further, or i'll either make sure your suite accomodations are sub-par or i'll make sure your basement accommodations are beyond atrocious, depending on what the evidence tells usat the appointed time.
030403
...
RMgirl just wanted to thank you all for your words...I spent the morning actually thinking after reading this (and that's not easy to get a mother to do who spends all day speaking two year-old talk!) I guess I'll just add my own little, "Yay us!" to what everyone said. At least we think about it, right? 030827
...
bite me Satan is a nerd. 030828
...
minnesota_chris I'm blathering at the library again. I'm on one computer, and on both sides are Mormon missionaries.

They're from somewhere else, and their main job is to go door to door and invite people to become Mormons. But now they are all about emailing and touching base with home and friends. Part of me is afraid of them, and the other part wants to give them a hug and feed them.
040610
...
Leland Hi my names leland and i used to be mormon, there are a lot of good things that the church might do, but they excomunicated my mother for being a lesbian, she is the best mother in the world, and all she does is love her children, and another woman, what's wrong with that?

well anyways, i got fed up with feeling bad about myself for being myself around the time i was 14, but i didn't have the courage to get up and leave, because of the pressure that was being put on me, by my peers in the church and the bishop, my father, and the other men in the church. basicly i was in fear of my own soul..

i finally got out of it when i was 18.
and i haven't been back since, even though they send missionarys to my door every once in awhile.
040707
...
Leland i have my own religon, but i don't go trying to change minds, change others ideas, i just tell people what i think and let them make up their own minds, i remeber reading about joseph smith, and how he prayed to god asking him which church is right, and when he was told that none of them were.. well i still belive thats true, no single church has the whole, complete answer, so instead of taking everything for what it is presented as, i take it with a grain of salt, and compare it to other things i've heard, and know, and really learn about myself.

that might sound a bit cheesy, but it's an honest answer.
040707
...
newme i feel like i should say something here 040708
...
nonlucid A couple of days ago two mormon guys came to the door, I smiled and said no, I wasn't interested, they nodded and walked away. Thought later it might have been interesting to talk to them, though - see what they had to say

All I know about the religion is what I've read in Orson Scott Card's book Lost Boys... that was a weird one, not recommended
040708
...
newme "i'm an ex-mormon"

there. i said it.
040715
...
monee actually i don't think i ever really was a mormon/latter day saint

i just thought i was?

if that makes sense...
041224
...
monee i always find it awkward talking to missionaries now


the last ones who came for supper never brought back the plate they borrowed, or the book my mom lent them about 'the church'

they practically interrogated her about her library (lots of books on buddhism and other paths)

they criticized the 'guru' pictures on the fridge, and looked quite shocked when i starting expressing my thoughts


my parents got in trouble for drinking coffee

no one in my family goes to church anymore, the last time i went i was twelve
041224
...
monee i still use the lds genealogical records for my genealogy research,...
awesome resource

it's good they've done so much to help preserve records, but i think it's not so great to be trying to convert dead ancestors (i find that quite odd)
041224
...
deadsy i have enjoyed reading everyone's comments, seriously, even the negative critiques which i feel are not without validity. i myself am a "practicing" mormon, using the quotation marks because i am often heartily displeased with some of the "truths" that mormonism espouses. i will admit that the church itself has many fundamental doctrines that are absolutely strange, but i would hasten to add that a lot of the oddities associated with the mormon church are given genesis by mormon zealots (80% of the church hua hua) and are not actually doctrine. i am also abhorred by how easily most every mormon will turn a blind eye to empirical evidence; for example-whenever i hear the old "earth is 6k years old" line, i want to vomit. just like in any organized religion, the followers may be spread out over a continuum. two different mormons could argue creationism and evolution...so many "tenets" of the faith are based on unsubstantiated claims or letters from authorities. what i can say is that mormons do believe in the 2 basic commandments to "love thy God" and "Love thy fellow men"...i would like it if mormons could be more openminded to the opinions and religious convictions of others, and would also hope that people could be patient and tolerant of our (mormon's) endless abnormalities. if anyone wants to chat or make fun of me, feel free...cheers. 050311
...
nathaly ha im a mormon my self. before all u guys would like to speak or say anything about the church , ask someone that is a convert. They will answer all your questions. dont sit here & talk about the religion you DONT know about. its immature & pointless. but seriously if you interested [which in is interesting] ask . you will might just be suprised =) have a wonderful day. 050313
...
mon uow "i am a child of god
and he has sent me here"

i started going to church with my family before i can even remember.

i loved church.


i got in a fight with my sunday school teacher when i was threeish,...
i wanted to make something with the coloured paper, but we were supposed to be doing something else,...
that was possibly the first argument i can remember having in my life.

my parents taught sunday school...

my father holds/held the melchizedek priesthood,...my mom was heavily involved in the relief society.


i was baptised when i was eight...i felt it a very moving experience at the time,...


i'm sure there are positive aspects to the church,...and i know i wouldn't be who i am today if i hadn't experienced everything i have,..including church.

i ate a lot of deseret stuff growing up.

i still think it's good to keep a healthy supply of food in case of emergencies...


i've just got some different views than when i was a child as far as who jesus was and who we are.

i don't think i was 'sent' here by anyone. i think i am here. i think we are 'god'.
050313
...
mon uow but i guess sunday school isn't the correct term for me to have used. oops. 050313
...
mon uow primary. 050313
...
Zoe could someone tell me the basic set up of the mormon church? i heard it has a president, does this person give sermons or only deals with the monetary side? i'm a religion major and am really interested in the organization of different religions. thanks! 050313
...
some info http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/mormon/index.shtml 050314
...
. I'm black and they offend me deeply 050314
...
. http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,600116375,00.html?lds=T 050314
...
. http://lds.about.com/library/weekly/previousyears/aa021898.htm 050314
...
. http://www.blacklds.org/ 050314
...
. http://www.helpingmormons.org/african.htm 050314
...
. http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQRace.shtml 050314
...
mormons and sex http://www.i4m.com/think/sexuality/mormon_sex_purity.htm

http://www.i4m.com/think/sexuality/

http://www.postmormon.org/shadow.htm

http://kosnoff.com/construction/

http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon036.htm
050319
...
. "...Mormons who participate in temple rites (taught as essential to one's eternal salvation) are required to wear a holy garment (underwear). During yearly interviews such members are required to report whether they are wearing the prescribed garment as they covenanted to do. A specific question in the yearly temple worthiness interview inquires specifically if the individual is wearing the garment both day and night. A natural question arises: why the need to wear the holy garment during sleep time?..." 050319
...
mormons and homosexuality

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_lds.htm
050319
...
from one of the above links "...The Book of Mormon clearly teaches that rape deprives women of their chastity and virtue:

Moroni 9:9 "... For behold, many of the daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue--"

If the Book of Mormon is true, then victims of sexual abuse have reason to believe they have lost their chastity and virtue.

It is easy to understand how the stressing of the importance of being "pure and chaste" is warped into the importance of "virginity". Virginity has long been considered the token of purity and virtue. That to loose the one is to loose the other. Young girls and boys are taught early on in the Church and well into adulthood that only a girl who is a virgin is good enough to marry in the temple.

Unfortunately, many self-righteous and insensitive men in the Church have absolutely no clue as to how such a mis-teaching of a valuable principle (sexual restraint/abstinence) would affect impressionable young minds. Young girls and adolescents who have been sexually assaulted, either as children or teenagers consider the loss of their virginity or sexual innocence to be the loss of their chastity and virtue. Through molestation and rape, they have instantly and irrevocably become "tainted and used goods" in their own eyes and the eyes of their peers through no fault of their own. And to heap great insult and injury, it was (and continues to be) the instruction of the Bishop to help the person who has "lost their chastity" to identify their part in the transgression and what they need to repent of. (Perhaps they wore suggestive clothing, or behaved in a sexually provocative way, for example; and thereby must assume a measure of blame for the crime which was perpetrated on them.)..."
050319
...
mormons and abuse http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/family/abuse_spouse_child.htm 050319
...
dandy that's too bad to hear people living so literally by letter of law overriding their own expererience and conscience. Even among Mormons there's a whole spectrum of adherance. The overall culture can vary from family to family. 050320
...
sevenmorethaneight Hi. 051005
...
sevenmorethaneight I took a Mormon to prom. She was way cool, but when I really got to know her.... boring as hell. Though her dad was a gun nut and he had his glock on him when I went to her house before prom. Fuckin' jackass. 051005
...
nom http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melchizedek_Priesthood 070103
...
a jew fuck em


"we're sorry, MORMONS was the correct answer. MORMONS."

(south park)
070104
...
Lemon_Soda Eh.


We're not so bad.

is a mormon
070104
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from