dichotomy shamus don't we all have one? if noti'm having a dream. not a very good one at that. once someone told me i like things to be black and white. but even when they aren't, don't we have alliances with reason on both sides? 990130 ... emily A big fucking word that I'll never use. 990130 ... shamus too smart to be a pop star, not smart enough not to be. -joan of arc 990131 ... miniver I'm not really being honest. I don't believe that lying, in general, is wrong, or 'evil', or necessarily bad. But, when people speak to me, there is almost always some other petty, self-serving reason for why they are telling me whatever they are telling me (or, at least, in the way that it were being told). It's more of an insecurity thing, I suppose -- everyone is trying to make him/herself sound as appealing as possible, and they have their own ideas about how they will accomplish that. I'm not sure if this paralleling universe of communication is as visible or consciously pervasive to other people as it is to me. (Haha -- aren't I special, though?) Maybe other people just have the sense to spend their time on more significant things. It's normal human behavior, right? It's the game of social interaction. It sickens me, though, sometimes. And I've been trying not be those people. And I've started to point it out to other people...the most petty and superficial cases, at least. That can be hard to do, and I'm starting to notice a pattern of anger and denial, which can be disheartening to my tiny, tiny quest for honesty. Of course, I'm still trying to seem appealing to other people -- I'm not trying to end the game, I'm just trying to be honest about it. But, it even catches up with me in here, sometimes...you may have noticed. I am abusing Blather with squishy idealism. I need a new webpage, I guess. But I always end up deleting them a few weeks after I finish the actual creation process. That's disheartening, too. 000414 ... miniver Changed my mind. I haven't stopped being superficial, I'm just getting cleverer at it. And I seem to have different intentions for it, which makes it even less noticable to other people, allowing me to admonish them without anyone noticing the hypocrisy. I surmise. 000416 ... camille i notice 000417 ... tourist The plains Indians believed that at the center of the Medicine Wheel was a forked tree and in the crotch of this tree was where the Lodge Pole of reality rested. The spiritual fork is what supports the material world. Good and Evil are the two branches of the spirit tree, and this tree exists in every human heart. 001025 ... me pimp 030718 ... amy nada the bottom of the chart doesn't come when called. it's not a puppy! but it does do some participatory and somewhat passive musework. wouldn't be arguing to be more proactive here. nope, that's not it. 100304 what's it to you? who go blather from