ferrets_goodwrite
ferret i reserve the write to make this space my own!


ferret find the hope in you
let it out and see
how much you can do
without coming to me
find a new strength
let it out
build up and
sit and pout
come away with me
all i want to be
(is you)
come away with me
all i want to see
(is you)
all i ever wanted
bottled up inside
all i ever needed
only you could find
if i ever stumble
catch me before i fall
and if i'm ever humbled
season's change and now it's all
that i can do
to keep from saving you
from me
forever
030715
...
ferret grrr! it is NOT supposed to say ferret as the first word!!!!!!!!!!! 030715
...
ferret run away from all the pain
nowhere to go
nothing to gain
by staying
you only make it worse
death comes and now i find myself
riding in a hearse (sp?)
tonight is the night
while the sun sleeps
run, don't ever fight
your voice gives me the creeps
hearing it on tape
over and over again
played back recording
from a long lost friend
you took yourself away
to pain was just too great
the tapestry will fray
conquered by the world's hate
because that's all it does now
find a slit in the canvas
tear it down
why can't they understand this?
i always have a frown
you could have made it better
you could have made it right
knowing that you shouldn't
you still stepped up to fight
but the pain was too great
and the burden too heavy
this world so filled with hate
and now i cry only every
time i think of you
and all that you gave
you died on your own cross
but still you made a wave
and that wave will carry on
on unto the shore
make it's way into the dawn
never speaking any more
and now i find myself all alone
standing silent white as bone
everything taken away
i only hoped to say
one last thing before i went
one last thing for today

i love you
030715
...
ferret wow, i'm doing some of my best writing here, this is nice! 030715
...
ferret it's good to let it out
don't keep it all inside
sometimes you need to shout
flee and again, hide
run from this madness
the world captivated
my heart filled with gladness
now so motivated
to do what's right
and fell the light
falling on my face again
only you can show to me
the one and only true way to be
falling forever until you caught me
i rejoice with all you've taught me
work for love and nothing more
the times i've broken promise, four
tempted by hate
weakness stalemate
paradox love and
no instructions
memory of an
ominous junction
between you and i
still trying to fly
don't know when i will die
in the corner i will cry
until that day i wait inside
hurting forever, no self_worth
bled away all of my pride
endless_laughing without mirth
that day will come
and i will know
my legs are numb
but i will go
into the water
into the light
into the fire
into the night
into you
into me
into us
the show is free
my life is over
now i know
my heart beats slower
please
don't
go
030715
...
niska ferret...

you are super.
030715
...
ferret 'twould appear that i have a blather_stalker! ooh! i feel special? 030716
...
karl the weed wow this is great 030716
...
megan hello ferrrrrret 030716
...
ferret hello meggggggggggggggggggggan! 030716
...
megan how arrrrrre youuuu? 030716
...
ferret i'mmmmmmmm gooooooooooooood uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?

and furthermore, what did you think about my goodwriting?
030716
...
ferret the economy (a hypothetical situation)


i'm half asleep
no sound for miles
my mind drifting
on little isles
fingers numb
and foes aplenty
bear the sword
against the many
find the truth
tear it down
break a tooth
break a town
an eye for an eye
a toe for a toe
when will they learn
that no means no
a rapist, a necro, a serial killer
when will they learn that it's not just filler
flood the tv with reality shows
then you'll see just how far one lie goes
make up a story
hide it from the wife
it all seems so gory
at the edge of a knife
'cause you can't see the hatred
the discontent souls
you just walk around
with your government roles
you can't see the pain, the lies and the hate
you all sit around and say "hey mate"
"this system works well,
the people are happy,
while we live in luxary
my this view's crappy.
get me my lugagge,
my keys to my car,
i'll move away and buy a house
way afar.
because i have the money
and i don't like to share
the economy's dead
so i'll sit in my chair
and sigh a great sigh
of relief, no despair
because i have monopoly
not the game, the nightmare"
an so they sit still
while the wind blows away
all the dirt of the earth
all the bones filled with decay
and they'll sit forever
forever and ever
for they're all dead now
and no chance for life, never
they killed our society
they killed us dead
because they used their wallets
instead of their heads.

thank you, thank you, i'll be here for years to come! no rush, no rush at all! everybody gets a seat! everybody!

so waddaya think? does anybody think that i have half a chance as a poet?
030717
...
megan i am wonderful
and your writing is good x a google
030717
...
ferret thank you :)


i wish i could see
why i need all this pain
rip it from me
watch the moon wax and wain
remember my pain
for the days still to come
to keep me from doing
what cannot be undone
how should i live my life?
run or face the day
when i take all this strife
throw it from me, away
give my life to you
only to continue
living without shoes
on a bed of hot coals
these scars run deep
the past still clear
and still while i weep
(over what i've done)
i know the day is near
when i will go back
back into myself
give in to the black
the laughter from the high elf
still ringing in my ears
as he sits on his high throne
i fall to my worst fears
and lose all that i've known
i wish i could keep you
in mind as i fall
you know that i need you
while i walk down the hall
it's only a matter of time
scrape off all the dirt and grime
the same life/pattern/rhyme
and i fall again to these sins of mine
030717
...
ferret yes, that sums up almost perfectly how i feel right now. 030717
...
ferret hehe, another poem i concocted!

a name is a name
every one sounds the same
but who's to blame
for this terrible game?
the rock stars?
the pop stars?
the people?
the fame?
who know's what will happen
when the world turns to aim
it's gun at the moon
a blackened typhoon
of hate and destruction
with no basic function
except to destroy
and sow seeds of despair
like draco malfoy
and slytherin's heir
a name is a name
they all sound the same
but who is to blame
for this terrible game?
the rock stars?
the pop stars?
the people?
the fame?
i can tell you
only what i claim
is the truth and the way
to live life every day
and say "hey,
have a nice day!"
but a name's a name
every one sounds the same
but who's to blame
for this terrible game?
the rock stars?
the pop stars?
the people?
the fame?
perhaps just a ciggy
with an infinite flame
030717
...
ferret lies and hate
administrate
you're on the list
but you'll have to wait
this community's gone
just like the fawn
the firstborn deer
that we all fear
with truth and love
comes strength from above
(and don't forget to brush your teeth!)
and in a week
we all shall seek
that which can't be found
the thruth, the love
the inner dove
just waiting to be freed
don't lie
don't cheat
you know
i'll beat
you in
the end
but just as a friend
and nothing more
you're only 4
well, maybe 44
no more
no more pain
and no more hate
and no more love
to appreciate
and no more me
and no more you
and no more us
and no more brew
i've drunk all to my hearts content
the paperclip of my mind unbent
and now i stop just to repent
for all that i've done
just give me a hint
at what i'm supposed to be doing
what is my purpose?
why have i been placed on this earth?
a blessing or curse?
from death to birth
as time rewinds
i find all that
i've missed in hindsight
counting sheep
the world's so cheap
and now i'll reap
the benefits!
of having one_of_my_eyes_unglued
so i'll be just as blind as you
and i can waste all my money too
on assets to sit my ass on
and posessions to lose when i pass on
but so long as i enjoy my stay here
it's all ok right?
there's no need to fight
we can all just say goodnight
and give up on ourselves
for we all make our own hells
a living nightmare
living on this earth with all this temptation
i've found it hard to keep my heart stationed
in one ideal or another
much less my head
think of all those who are dead
and what they pursued in life
all that was caused by their strife
all he wanted was a wife
but that dream never came true
as most do
all in due time
make the climb
you'll never make it
give up time
become timeless
become as a statue
abandon your beliefs and come join me
yes
we can all live together in harmony
maybe
either that or i'm just a big_baby
can you get me my bottle?






ok, i have no idea what that was, what do you think though?
030717
...
ferret and the dragon flies
and the mortal dies
as the maggots turn
to flys
all in the blink of an eye
an era will die
and all will cry
as they fry
on the great frying pan of life
let him play his fife (sp?)
we'll all see the end
when we break the trend
or can we not escape it?
the unavoidable demise as we rape it?
common sense
upon whence
we came from
the kingdom
and started our own world
and mutated our own bodies
as the good man hurled
saved souls? not these
and the dragon flew
and man knew
that he was doomed
030717
...
ferret yo daf, i need a professional opinion, waddaya think? 030718
...
Dafremen Ok kiddo, but I don't give bullsh*t opinions unless I feel like it. Fair enough? 030718
...
Dafremen You and I have a couple of things in common:

We like to rhyme, we like sappy themes and we both have some sort of fixation with trite metaphors. (By the way, I personally feel the word "trite" is trite by now.)

You have a decent sense of flow and you need to embrace that part of the work. Stop wherever the flow gets funky and rewrite. If you can't make it roll off of their tongues then there are few redeeming qualities in our sort of catchy bubblegummy crap that will keep their attention. Clever wordplay is always helpful. Try to use a bit more of that. Some examples that I liked were:

"season's change and now it's all
that i can do
to keep from saving you
from me" I didn't even think the word Forever needed to be there.

"find a slit in the canvas
tear it down" I liked this line a lot. I wish your imagery would have worked harder with this. The tapestry was too (some word here that hasn't been invented yet) to work there.

Get a rhyming dictionary.
Use dictionary.com
Your rhymes are still a bit forced.
When you get to a point that doesn't flow, work harder at finding alternative lines.

That's the critique, here's the compliment:

You still have work to do,(we all do, always) but that's ok, you definitely have something to work with and I would say that you could write marketable work if you keep blathering and accepting constructive criticism for the tool that it is. I'm very proud of you ferret. You are a poet.

Daf
-
030718
...
Dafremen P.S. My favorite line of all was:

"ferret find the hope in you"

I hope you DO find it ferret. It's in there for sure.
030718
...
ferret ferret was NOT supposed to be there lol, and thanx 030718
...
ferret fun with names:

R. D.

roger_dafreman
rob_dinky
rinky_dinky
rumble_dick :)
rubles_dog
ruptured_dyslexic
030718
...
ferret ~~someday~~

candle burns night
candle burns night
candle burns left
candle burns right
the game is played
the candle burns
and all who play
just take their turns
and make it through
the game of life
my pain is strewn
all 'round the knife
but not to cut
no, not today
to keep myself
so far away
from all that's normal
and fucking horrible
why lie?
why die?
why cry?
why fly?
why try?
when i know that i will fall
and fail
and i know that it's not all
there in one nice package
in the mail
so God help me
i have to let this go
i have to give it up
and go against the flow
of my own mind
and i know that i'm blind
but now i find
that it's all been left behind
and now i'm here
and you are there
but i wait for the day
when i will see your hair
coming from afar
from behind the sunrise
you've got me in a jar
with the perfect surprise
you've kept me here
for far too long
so stand strong here
reject the bong
don't get addicted
you'll never be free
i'll always remember
the night you'll save me
030719
...
ferret look_for_it 030720
...
ferret hello_ferret 030721
...
ferret i step up to fight
knowing i will fail
still, i know what's right
and that truth will prevail
but just for now
i can't resist
i must give in to me
it feels so good
back away now
and all the lies i'll see
i know my hearts desire
but it feels so far
away from me
and all the lies
become the truth
and now i can't be free
free from me
free from sin
gone for good
the life within
run away
but face the day
again, again, again
until i can resist for good
confronted with a choice
you know my heart, which path i'll take
but now i've lost my voice
so i scream my tears away today
sometimes it seems so far away
knowing that i'll be ok
why do i still feel so afraid?
why am i so hesitant
to do what i know i must?
why do i fall yet again?
i attribute it to lust
and now you're standing here with me
the brightest light still seems so grey
i can't do this, it's plain to see
i pray to see the fateful day
when i will be forgiven
for the final time
and all my shortcomings will
crumble and rewind
back to when i was perfect
before i was born
but to this day i still have
in my side a giant thorn
030721
...
niska stalker?
um, no.

but, that is amusing...
030722
...
hehehe hehe 030724
...
ferret i wrote this as a song not as a poem so it's kinda hard to find the rhythm if you don't know the music but oh well


No, i won't given
to you to me
i really need to see
what this is going
to do to me
i really don't
need this in my life
i have no complaint
against the restraining
order that you failed to get
i never want to see you again
and i know what it's like to be alive
without a friend
to be there for you
and i still feel
the pain every day
even though i keep
my feelings at bay
and i know that this is just
my way of paying
for all that i have taken
from you
there's nothing left to do except
REMEMBER NOW
all that happened somehow
i felt it coming on
but i couldn't stop it
and now i keep it
in my pocket to remind me
af all that i
STILL COULD BE
but you
take one more breath
and run
straight into death
and i run away
from you and me and today
and i still know your face...
but it's slipping away...
and i'd like to say goodbye
before you watch me die
and before i disappear
from you
and from the world
this is
my way
to say
goodbye
030725
...
ferret take a walk in my dark forest
bring your candle to light the way
share with me your deepest secrets
before you leave you'll have to pay
pay the clown at the entrance
the one who took your ticket
take a quarter from your pocket
you know where to stick it
burn my trees and kill my creatures
just to keep your facial features
before i take them all away
or else you just might have to stay
if you can't get out
then why come in?
if you don't want to shout
then why make me scream?
as light reaches top
my leaves turned upset
and rot shown black
beneath the sunset
and wet with rain
the winter dew
i crush the brain
beneath my shoe
and bury me along with you
030802
...
ferret **~~*~*darkstar*~*~~**



twinkle twinkle darkened star
show me just how dark you are
up above the world so high
sad and crying in the sky
twinkle twinkle darkened star
show me just how dark you are
030802
...
ferret the one before darkstar is simply but lovingly called


**~~*~*forest*~*~~**
030802
...
ferret smasht last was the spaz
in the light the fight seemed to go on all night
the bar filled with the smell of car slightly beneath par
but then you opened an eye and let a tear cry down the cheek of a spy
flying high in the sky with a grey blue jay when you die
and the soda can crusht beneath the brain of the musht and silently slushed was the green hush
and by the way i hate to say that i had to stay just one more day to pay the rent
but i don't have a cent for jane
but the glue is undone like a giant corkscrew spun and he fired the gun at the wall
but just down the hall i took a fall and stalled and lemons rained all over the street
as the wheat fields grew and someone threw a frisbee and a dog caught it and grew to his full height
but with all his might he still couldn't knock down the wall
030804
...
ferret here's an old poem i wrote that i just found... i guess it's a poem.... maybe.



no, we kissed because our lips were sharp with the same poison, the same metal fillings of hatred, the same
symetrical
the same
even notoriety is evil
it is blind
do not become well known
others will try to kill you
the president can't trust the secret service, the service is no longer a secret
blowjob
blow job
jog all the way home
cover up the scar
kill the money
kill the governor
kill everything
reborn into oneself
i'm lost to anger
lost to pain
lost to love
lost.......
awkward moment in between love and hate
continue with you're lashing torture
it will never end
awkward moment
030806
...
Dafremen Ferret,

Love you like a brother do0d, but you need a hobby.

Might I suggest masturbation?

(If you've already taken it up, might I suggest devoting a little more time to it?)
030806
...
ferret i never considered that as a hobby, is there money in that? 030808
...
ferret ***~~~*~*~let the water rise~*~*~~~***



What is my place in all this world of hate?
How can you stand to see me every day?
So empty and jaded,
So castrated,

You looked me in the eyes
But I turned away!
Why have you stood by me
To this day?
Why are you leaving now?
It must be something I did somehow
Why do I need all of this pain?

Let the water rise
Let the water rise so high
Above your head
And you’ll be flyin’ high
Up above the world with all of them

Look down upon the people of the earth
Look how they laugh and smile with mirth
They all have fun
But one by one (they die)
There must be something more than this!

You looked me in the eyes
But I turned away!
Why have you stood by me
To this day?
Why are you leaving now?
It must be something I did somehow
Why do I need all of this pain?

Let the water rise
Let the water rise so high
Above your head
And you’ll be flyin’ high
Up above the world with all of them
Let the water rise
Let the water rise
Let the water rise
Let the water RISE
030808
...
ferret 2.0 Let the water rise!

Where do I stand in this hateful world?Our eyes meet and slap each other.

In your eyes I was a naked three year old.
Now I am abandoned, sitting on the curb with the recycling.

Let the water rise

People live happily until they perish. Their hearts give them life and joy before stopping forever. Has life nothing else?

In your eyes I was a naked three year old.
Now I am abandoned, sitting on the curb with the recycling.

Let the water rise
030808
...
oldephebe I like that hook "Let the Water rise"
have you thought about whittling this down and putting it to music - say like an agressive acoustic rythym guitar, acoustic base, (the big orchestral one) maybe an insouciant lead guitar puncuating each syllable of the hook and then meandering up and down the staff in little syncopated melodic asides - and then the drums - classic rock beat with just an edge of funk -and then intersperse at the drummers discretion quater note drm roles either buzz or two stroke - doesn't matter and he should throw in some intricate high-hat work as well -

I have no idea where all that came from, feel free to flush briskly down the painted commode -

Man! I'm all out of Halibat! ..but I've got some pinneapple left - Yay!
I'm anticipating a real gastronomic
backlash pretty soon so I'll just exit over here

later
030808
...
ferret actually i'm going to and it's more of a hardcore/heavy metal song 030812
...
ferret ethereal 030812
...
karl the weed dude, we should talk (if we can manage it, thats going on the mixed tape instead of all the other stuff) thats REALLY good stuff. 030813
...
ferret why thank you sir thistle *takes a deep bow* 030819
...
ferret 2.0 what did you like the best? 030820
...
ferret who is you ferret 2.0, name modifier? 030820
...
ferret three words like three swords race through the air
as i'm lying here in this pit of despair
and as they fly they cut without a single care
there's nowhere left to run 'cause i'm already there

there's no reason to run
there's no need to fight
as you fly through the dark
on this lonely night
a shy eye turned aside
and a paperclip bent
and I would go back but
my life’s already spent

a dark misshapen head seen through the corner of the eye
as I seek to tear them down but still in me they have a spy
and I know that I can heal as I spread my wings to fly
but if only you could have been there on the night that I died

you left me here
all alone
so dark and cold
in my own home
if only you had stayed
just one more day
and now my debt is payed
I’m leaving in may
I’ll find you here
Sitting in that chair
The same one that
I messed with your hair
In

I’ll miss you too
You know it was great
Even if it’s
just for a while
I’ll purge
from my heart all hate
for you
of you
I love
You
030823
...
ferret *~*~**~~*razormouth*~~**~*~*

was the name of that one... i think
030823
...
ferret i sit alone in the silent darkness
of my own creation
not a bone in my body harkens
to my dark desire
the sun beats down on my back
as my wheels slip further from the track
and i fall into despair
and leave myself lying there

and the sky falls down onto my head
and the earth opens up to swallow the dead
and i paint the line of my life red
and remember everything you've said

'cause i can't go back now no i can't
as restrained requests are snuffed like ants
and the warriors all stand their stance
and the reaper does of death his dance

a mirror rises out of the sea
the time is now so come with me
and we'll see all there is to see
we'll never again want or need

'cause i can't go back now no i can't
as restrained requests are snuffed like ants
and the warriors all stand their stance
and the reaper does of death his dance

staring over the edge of hate
all of this world to recreate
as only a handful sit and wait
for the end to come and the new beginning
there is no such thing as winning
all the drones just keep on sinning
but i'll be here 'till the last inning

'cause i can't go back now no i can't
as restrained requests are snuffed like ants
and the warriors all stand their stance
and the reaper does of death his dance
and the reaper does of death his dance
(repeat until it fades out)
030830
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from