united_perverts_of_blathe Pres. Barrett & V. P. Si-Rhin Welcome to the B.P.A. sister page! Come forth perverts, one and all, into the realm of perversion & fantasy! All who enters must uphold our oath to be perverse, and to dutifully stand behind our slogan: "Behind every successful pervert is another". Take a gander at us... Presydent - Barrett Vice Presydent - Si-Rhin Speaker of the Ho's - Silentbob Pervert General - Glorybox Secretary of Pornography - Grendel Coat Check Girl/Sexual Spin Dr. - God Official Whipping Boy - J Blue Cabin Boy - Pat Sajak Rear Admiral - Barnacle Bill Minister of Snakes - Snakeyes Sec. of Debauch - Gwyllynne (Wench) Let the games begin! 001213 ... gpd "ahem!" (steps austerely to the podium) "hi there. my name is god. some of you may know me, i check coats and hats at the door. (whispered: psssssstttt! all tips are greatly appreciated!)." .....pauses for sparse laughter..... "anyways, i would like to praise rhin for her absolutely stunning 'united perverts of blathe' official shield and commemorative collectible emblem. not only is the layout gripping, but the blue tint, hypnotizing. to top it off, she keeps with the floyd theme so many of us perverts enjoy, and she includes some female nudity! kudos, my dear. kudos!" 001213 ... narrator (god passes out after two too many valiums and misspelling his name as "gpd") 001213 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Rhin *blushing* "Aww Shucks!" (swings leg) (The credit goes to Barrett, as much as I. He located the graphic, and consulted with me on content! Thanks Babe!) Attention! Due to not disclosing your address, the following were not sent our emblem: Grendel, Snakeyes, & Barnacle Bill. Each of you three could be one and the same, or obviously have reason to guard your privacy. I have no problem with this. However, if you want to take a gander at our symbol, then find someway to get it from me, or any Officer, besides you three... You should take a peep. Presydent Barrett says, "It's fuck'n cool!" 001213 ... tourist in the bushes Do you have to be a Member just to SEE the Symbol? It's like having a Flag but never flying it, don't you think? Please let me Peek. It would appeal to my Voyeuristic tendencies, that should count for something. 001214 ... silentbob so what is it we do again? 001214 ... Rhin "Ahem!" & "Mmmmmmm!" (Rhin straddles the podium) "I just want to thank Presydent Barrett again, for the wonderful idea, not to mention his help, with creating our emblem! Actually, Mr. Presydent, meet me in the Anal Office. I would like to thank the hell out of you!" "I actually meant to say so yesterday, (I was busy blushing. You know me, modest and retiring...) that anyone here at Blather is welcome to receive a copy of the emblem. Please just drop a line here on these pages, and I will wisk one right out to ya'! We will proudly fly our flag, for all to see! Tourist, your wish has been granted. Please check your mail..." Blather Perverts Association 001214 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Silentbob, "I have no response to that! *laughing* Your position is in jeopardy here, baby! Presydent Barrett, and other staff members, we may need to give our Speaker of the Ho's, a good what for! Barnacle Bill, you seem to be our Secret Sex Agent, so I think everyone might agree, that we will leave you, to decide his punishment. All in favor, say, "Aye!" 001214 ... silentbob punishment!? For who?? 001214 ... barnaclebill Arh!! For a speaker of the Ho's you've been rather reclusive! Just where have you been with all the sweet meat anyway? 001214 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Exactly!!! He even had the audacity to ask, "So what is it we do again?" Hmmmmm.....maybe we should just let the fems handle him. Get ready to show us those true colors Bobby! *wink* 001214 ... silentbob Gil: Who the hell did you see me kiss? Brodie: Some dude backstage, i dunno who he was but he looked unimpressed Gil: I wasn't kissing any guy backstage, i swear! I'm not gay! Brodie: Suitorette! you heard how repulsed he sounded? This guy's a homophobe! is that someone you really wanna share a romantic weekend with? Gil: I don't hate gay people! Brodie: So you love them. Gil: Yes! i mean NO! Brodie: Text book case of closet self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own ... sexuality. mallrats. 001214 ... barnaclebill In the dim light of a thousand flickering candles Bobby must wait. He has held out on the Harlots and the Perverts demand an answer or a penance, or Both. The Rear Admiral waits by the door of iron bars as the eyes of the others look on. "This is too big a Responsability for the likes of an Old Softy like Me self. Me thinks You need to talk to The Wench Gwynllyn, Maybe she can get the truth outin' yer! No? At the very least You'll be Callin' Her "Daddy" afore this is done. (under his breath he mutters) Keepin all the whores to His self E' does, An him in a Place of Honor too." The sound of footsteps approaches from down the long hallway. "Harken up now!!" Bill unlocks the gate....... 001214 ... god "may i take your coat, silentbob? (if you prefer to leave it on, that's ok too)". 001214 ... god CARL: I'm using the chicken to measure it PHYLLIS: You know... you know what I used to do? I used to watch him eat... and while he was eating... I would ask him "what are you doing?"... RAY: Why [...] using the chicken to measure it? PHYLLIS: ...and he would say "I'm using the chicken to measure it"... What does he mean with that? uncle meat zappa 001214 ... Presydent Barrett As your Presydent, i put it to a vote.... silentbob shall be (in a clockwork Orange fashion) be forced to watch 3 hours of homosexual porn. (only three votes to make this a law) 001214 ... "THE PRESYDENT" of what is it that we do? Bobby, our reason for all of this is... 1. to offend all of those who are not perverted... 2. to enlighten those who may be 001214 ... Secretary of Pornography Grendel ~~~ and in the most overheated of prose, the Secretary of Pornography transcribes the events and goings-on with a black quill upon the bare backs of a number of willing and nubile playthings, stopping occasionally to subject himself to the bite of the strap he keeps at his bedside or to fondle the pretty "pages" who comprise his journal~~~ 001215 ... background noises (whipping and moaning) 001215 ... tourist behind the curtain Mr president,Sir. I know that as an observer I don't really have a say in this,( but being in Florida I'm used to having my vote not count) But I think you're all being a bit harsh on young Robert, He seems like a well meaning fellow. Maybe he had every intention of speaking for the Ho's, but couldn't pull it off cause he was too shy or something. I vote for mercy, or at the most a reprimand & a Wedgie. Oh yeah, Rhin is one of the flag girls you, or is that presuming too much? 001215 ... Rhin Tourist, ummmmmmm...Flag Girl??? 001215 ... silentbob yeah! power to the people and all that good stuff! um...and if justice doesn't prevail in our utopian society, well, bloody hell, i can do 3 hours of gay porn standing on my shag rug! its just the needles in the eyelids is what does it to me... 001215 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Mr. Presydent, I beg of you not to follow the advice of our alien intruder, a.k.a. Tourist. I may be way out of line here, but it is I who initiated this impeachment. Silentbob has questioned the very foundation we stand on, and I meant for his punishment to be something more than, a smack on the heinie! Besides, he might like that... He requested the position of Speaker of the Ho's, without any provacation, from standing members. I may only be the V.P., but you may well remember, who it is, that hides the chocolate! So please keep in my mind, before you make any decisions, that it is I, who will not be countermanded! (descention in the ranks) I simply won't stand for it! However, I might lay down for it, if you've got a Lime popsicle in your pocket! Mmmmm! I think I may be facing punishment myself here, on numerous accounts. Please be gentle... I vote, "Aye!" for 3 hours of homosexual porn. 001215 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Presydent Barrett, I think the punishment you suggested, may be letting Silentbob off the hook? How about some ping-pong beads? A really long strand......... 001215 ... silentbob Ouch! Painful! And besides..its not that i was questioning the motives or hypocracy of our unity...i was curious about our actions and inquired. sorry, i wasn't paying attention and thought i'd catch up. must i be reprimanded for showing interest in something? regardless of my punctuality? 001215 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Our dear Speaker of the Ho's, why can't we just play with you??? You have made a very valid point. I should have inquired about your intentions, before jumping the gun. Upon disclosing this information, it seems that I should retract my move to impeach. However, that would make me look like a dumbass (too late), and I don't want to be underminded by 'the little people'. So...my motion stands. However, I have the feeling that The Presydent & other members of our association, may take this matter out of my hands, and move to put me at the top of the 'extremely painful, sexual punishments to dole out' list. Having said that, I must begin to work on my defense, so that I can counter-strike! I do have some regrets for the anxiety I may have caused you. So, may I invite you to share the Lime popsicle with me, in a gesture of good will, and with an obvious ulterior motive, of restoring my good name, not to mention, that I just love a good romp? What is it that we do again? "Blather-Sex"! Maybe some of us are living out sexual fantasies, or just re-living sexual escapades, whether they happened some time ago, or last night. We are in love with the eroticism, that our blathes seep with. Maybe we are trying to invoke some erogenous feelings in all who read? Some of us may delve into the world of Sadism and Masochism, while others just want 'a roll in the hay'. Whatever we find, as we continue to trek along our perverse path, will surely be nothing less, than letting loose of our sexual inhibitions, and writing for the world to read, "Fuck the Norm!" 001215 ... el Presydente has left the building *Presydent Barrett approaches the podium* I have come forth today to address the sentencing of the Speaker of the Ho's. Under great consideration of the views recently stated, i have come to the verdict. Bobby isn't on trial for treason, he just has not been speaking for our dear ho's (they are feeling unrepresented) Therefore, his punishment shall be a six hour masturbation marathon, to begin immediately. (sorry bobby) 001215 ... V. P. Si-Rhin Anyone seen Bobby? I am thinking that he must have injured his wrist! *Rhin smiles* 001217 ... V. P. Si-Rhin If anyone has read 'cabin fever', then you should be well aware, of the state my nipples are in today. Confession: I can't stop playing with them! *Rhin smiles mischeviously* 001217 ... silentbob here i am i just put a good 6 hours in an entire 10 minute span. there were even townspeople in the fantasy it was spectacular! 001217 ... V. P. Si-Rhin (Rhin whispers) While playing around with a little free time, I had yesterday, I created a 'Holiday' B.P.A. greeting, from me! If anyone wants to see it, please just drop a line here. I will not send it out, to anyone who does not specifically ask for it, because it's...*shhhhh*...pornographic! (only slightly though) 001218 ... barnaclebill Has anyone visited our other page "blather_perverts_assocation" today? I do believe the Pope has stolen the bottom half of the page, Due no doubt to Me blasphamies. Har!! Corrupting (or being corrupted by) those naughty Catholic Girls!! I duck into the Confessional and the last half of the Page disappears, And just when I was ready to pleasure Me self!! Uh! I mean take their little Cornfeshuns...er Hmm 001218 ... Who do you think! PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING: You must be a pervert, 18 and older, to continue reading. Otherwise, please go knock on the door (seventh door on the left), of the United Prudes of Blathe. **All I want for Christmas is...** I came home this evening, and while trying to wrap some Christmas gifts, I began thinking of 'someone'. My nipples became so very hard, and my pussy started throbbing. I layed down admist all the ribbon & paper - jeans down to my knees, legs spread wide, and began fingering myself. Oh God, it felt so good. I was so wet, and my clit was amazingly swollen. I inserted two fingers inside of my cunt, and began to thrust against my hand. My other hand was completely obsessed with my breasts - pinching and twisting my nipples, and cupping them, so as to raise them to my mouth, so that I could suck on them. Mmmmmmmmmm... Then I happened to feel something laying at my side, and a smile crossed my face, as I picked it up. It was one of those giant peppermint sticks. I peeled the wrapper off, and inserted it into my mouth - sucking, and deep-throating it, then I pulled it out of my mouth, and inserted it into my cunt, in one quick, swift movement. It's not as thick as the average penis, but I happen to be very tight, and my cunt, had a hold of it, as if it were a vice grip! Damn, I was so wet, and I wanted a taste, so I pulled the cane out, and sucked it clean, and then reinserted it again...and again...and again...until I exploded with this amazing orgasm, that made my head spin. The cane, and my hand was dripping wet. It was all over my thighs, and dripping down onto my ass. All I kept thinking was how much I wanted someone here to lick me clean. That is all I want for Christmas! Is that asking too much??? 001222 ... Rhin Horny Ho'lidays Everyone!!! Mr. Presydent, while shopping at this funky, little music haven tonight, I saw something, which made me think of you, so I picked it up. At the moment, it's hanging off of one of my nipples... LOL & "@#$%", babe! 001222 ... Si-Rhin 'T', Thank you for the e-mail. I certainly agree with you, and I hope that all remains well, on the homefront. I most certainly did not even consider that, but should have. From the bottom of my heart, please accept my apology. 001222 ... Who do I think ??? Hmmmm *thinking* Gee i dunno i Ok, does anyone have a spare box of tissues laying around. Cause that would REALLY be appreciated. Possibly a mop too? I think that might help. Ok, thanks. 001230 ... Presydent Barrett Boy... around here, we `lick' up our messes... 001230 ... Si-Rhin Presy. Barrett, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! 001230 ... Thyartshallshant Thats a good policy. 001230 ... V.P. Si-Rhin *Ahem!* *Grrrrrrrrr!* (straddles podium again, finds it cold) "Attention Pervs.!" (Si-Rhin screams above the moans) Please welcome our newest Pervert, 'Thyartshallshant - Head of Masturbation'. *applause* Thyart, You must dutifully uphold our oath, and stand behind our slogan: 'Behind Every Successful Pervert, Is Another'! *V.P. reaches to shake his hand, then considers better of it...considering! She opts instead, to put one of those fingers on each hand up* *applause & whistles* 010102 ... Thyartshallshant *slightly bashful from all the attention* *Removes hands from pants to shake hands as he approaches the podium" "Well, *clears throat* ...*zips up* this is a very special, wonderful, long, hard and sweaty postition that i have been gratefully given the oppertunity to lead." *cough* "I have a few people i would liek to thank. Mr. Larry Flynt for producing such wonderful smut that has helped me erect myself to the man i am today. And I would also like thank K-Y Jelly Co. for creating the fine product that i regularly jank from my corner market." "As Head of Masturbation, there are several topics i plan to "spearhead" in the cumming year. One is that i would create a reasonable pricing program for pornography; this way every man, woman, lesbian, and horny teenager will have cost effective oppertunities to aquire hardcore porn in the great UP of B." "Another topic high on my list (you'll never guess where i wrote it!), is free vibrators to needy women; women who mabey emmbaraced to go to there local XXX store to pick one up, women who have no ideas of the orgasmic thrills a thick "jelly vibe" can provide, and finally women that can appreciate the love of a joy buzzer, but simply can't afford one of there own (no more barrowing mommys anymore!)" "I hope to surprise you, embarrace you, and possibly make you laugh during my term as Head of Masturbation. Thank you all for your support, especially in the brasier department,(ladies) ;) And too all the men in the audience, im here to tell ya two things; wash your hands regualarly and dont get it in your eye. Thank you, and goodnight" ^T.V. Annoucer^ Well, a very quick but powerful speach by the Head of Masturbation has left this crowd gripping something other than there seat. We are expecting great things from Thy, as he likes to be called, in the near future. Now, if we can get the cammera to focus back up at the podium, yes, Mr. Thy seems to be reciving the ceri'moan'ial "Spanking of the Ass" by the Presydent himself, Barrett. If we pan this cammera over to the left, we can see the V.P. has already begun celibrating this special night by playing a little game of "hide the fingers"... Oh, wait, make that "hide the hand"... Oh, correction again, "hide the Mack Truck" Wow, we don't see that very often folks. Well, this concludes are coverage of these pre-cum-cedings as we return to our regualarly scheluled program of a lubed finger slowly being entered and retracted out of a bimbo's ass. Thanks everybody, and goodnight" 010103 ... Thyartshallshant So what exactly do i do now? Other than masturbate 010106 ... god applause!! have a beer. 010106 ... Thyartshallshant *opts for tequilla instead* *takes shot* *masturbates* Ya kno, i dont think theres anything more to life than this. 010106 ... V.P. Si-Rhin (V.P. Si-Rhin steps up to the podium, to address the Pervs) * ahem * (...tears streaming down her face, she tries to speak, but only chokes on her words) "Mr. Presydent......" (She turns, and walks from the room) 010106 ... god don't get too emotional on us, cuz if barrett has abandoned us, you must assume control! 010106 ... god oooh that was hot! i'm sorry i missed it first time. 010117 ... Anonymous For the United Perverts With a riddle and a grin I will let you know that the bear is quite tied up. I ought to know as I've been holding the lace top thigh highs and garter belt that did the job. So, no need to sulk. Now you know. Oh, and by the way, bear is not the proper endearment. It's tiger. 010119 ... perverts otherwise known as boys. be ashamed now, thats all I ask. Tigar bear yeah right. and I like Tie fishcakes. 010521 ... god are those the same tigers who broke free? where's my cufflinks? 010522 ... celestias shadow *giggles madly* ahhh, i KNEW there was a reason i loved blather! :) 030922 ... pipedream me me me! can i join? huhuhuhuhuh? *waves a few bills of blather currency around* 030923 ... Sensuality She rises slowly, standing in the back of the room. Her clothes cling to her smooth lithe form, her hair cascading in front of her face. She shakes it back and parts her lips in a sultry whisper, "I'd like to unite." 030924 ... pipedream hahahahhaha the entire audience- including the podium straddlers- turn to gape at the woman before someone babbles 'uhhh..okay' 030924 ... :_) don't have a position yet here. but if you are a male, i'd like you're monitor to be covered in sperm. 040131 ... stork daddy i think your position should be doggystyle 040131 ... stork daddy i should've said missionary because of the more clever double meaning. but that's not the kind of pervert i am! 040131 ... dudeinanigloo Hey, can I be the treasurer?! You need someone to manage all those blatholeons (blather currency) floating around. 040720 ... Lafiel I appreciate your valiant effert to unite all the horny countries across the land. I'd applaud your commetment but unfortunitly my hands are preoccupied at the moment with matters of higher priority. I would like to state an issue however to the head of masturbation. There seems to be a lack of guys to screw and thus the at home self-help groups have been growing. The issue is that there seems to be problems with overuseage and thus brusing occures. We are in desperate need down here and are doing all we can to help the wounded at the moment, but we need reenforcements. Can you help us? lol, sorry...one of my girl friends came up to me the other day and asked if it was ok to bruise your clit...I laughed...I couldn't help it. The sad thing is that she has a boyfriend to help her. I unfortunitly am at a lack of male help and thus am going nuts from lack of someone else. God I need to screw something... 060422 ... rhin page page go away. 060422 ... poet heh, rhin, that made me laugh... Lafiel is that all you talk about? you must have said that you want to fuck some guy or whatever in at least 15 different blathes. i cant stop you, but is it really necessary? 060423 ... r_r ! 090605 ... rhin jesus. mary. and joseph. 090605 ... . . 090605 ... older than you want to be The Prysedent has been castrated (and all the bunnies wept) 090801 ... fghio fghio 101114 what's it to you? who go blather from