ask_oldephebe
Whitechocolatewalrus Hey oE!
Do you have a favorite word?
What is it and why?
040118
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oldephebe hey wcw - hmm let me delve into the old feed pilons for that one... exculpate is one..and mellifluouse..yep.. :) 040119
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oE shagdabbit! I spelled it wrong. Incidentally, in case anyone cares a dungleberry...mellifluous - to be sweet and full of honey, can be a person or the quality or timbre of an instrument or human voice..Paul Desmond alto sax God had a lush, mellifluous sound..luxuriantly legatto..

oh mellifluous can also so mean polished, smooth talker, educated charmer..blah blah...
040119
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whitechocolatewalrus? hmm, when did you realize that you loved music? 040119
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oldephebe I guess I've always loved music, coming from a family of singers and musicians. I guess I was about 17 when I realized that I'd probably go to that teachers college for music instead of English. My saxophone instructor had somehow imparted to me a shade of Paul Desmond's muse. As well as his near virtuosic facility for expemporaneous harmonic composition..or jazz improvisation.. Good question wcw. 040119
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pipedream exempranous?

T T T T T T

oE is going soft on spelling! and that melli- E! lol reminds me of a friend of mine who sticks an E after every second word...hahaha...im so typo-picky :)

question: name one thing you have never seen, and really want to. no references to bodily parts allowed.
040119
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no reason what's your background in jazz? 040119
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oldephebe and i forgot the o as well exTempOraneous...

hmm pd, i'm not as visually stimulated as i used to be..and in my ancient encrusted alligator state, not really harboring as many dreams and desires..i ah will get back to you onthat question

no reason - I started out as a percussionist in my highschool jazz band..congas, timables, a little vibrophone..etc. Eventually, i took up sax and shared the role of lead alto with a pretty decent musician. In college i'd sit in with the houseband at various clubs and pick up a little spare money...
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040120
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oldephebe pd - i guess i'd like to see a few things..yeah violating the parameters delineated in your question... I guess I'd like to see some of those cathedrals and other places in germany, austria,..italy where beethoven, mozart, vivaldi, shuman, shubert, paganninni, verdi, and and a whole host of others gave some of their finest performances and penned their works..

a few places in africa..the niger river basin...the jail that held mandela, the prison that steven biko was murdered in

the vatican collection of sacred iconography

the seat of power of the greek orthodox church

practically anywhere in italy - definately la scala (opera house, ricardo muti former music director and maestro of the philadelphia orchestra, i believe is still at the helm there)
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040120
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pipedream i've been to the vatican...walked there from the hotel, MAN was it FAR, but rome on foot is beautiful :)

also socrates' oracle cave..they had put up chicken-wire at the opening, but if you listen real hard you might hear our lady goddess speak.
040120
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oldephebe pd - Oh man! What a rich life you have lived. Well mebbe someday I'll get there. What was it like? I mean did you feel any more awestruck or like you were in the presence of some remnant of a consciousness beyond your own or some aggregate emotional residue that imbue these site..these alters of western hagiography and such..and man was that ever an opaque sentence...i'll drop by ask_pipdream to clear this one up... 040120
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whitechocolatewalrus so do you have anymore song samples you'd be willing to send out to a skite who liked your last song? 040120
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oldephebe yes, i actually have quite a few..there's a problem with my network settings or something that is preventing me from sending my mp3 files. my voice has recovered and i am in the process of editing several longer versions to the more palatable 2meg (2minute) size for emailing.

i've just got some knew editing and studio software that i need to become intimately familiar with as well..so wcw, doar, unhinged, mtree I am pleased expect some files from the Autumn Fire CD Project in the near future.
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040120
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oE *I am pleased to INFORM you...

*NEW software
040120
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whitechocolatewalrus yay :) 040120
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pipers mememe! i am BIG BIG jazz fan!

*jumps up and down so you can see me behind doar's back*
040121
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oldephebe i toured for a while with an award winning high school jazz band..doing vocals and saxophone...i was kinda freaked out by the attention my singing recieved and so when i had the chance several years later to hook up as a vocalist with an established pianist in charleston west virginia...i kinda panicked...all of those eyes and hearts open and focused upon me...some only a few feet away...i declined the impromptu audition and stuck with my saxophone embellishments and asides...yeah i have real issues when it comes to singing before live audiences...when i did godspell..the stage was pretty far away and elevated..and because of the somber lighting and me not wearing my glasses..i was able to pull it off..but the emotional reactions of people male and females for months afterward kinda got to me...kinda why i stopped singing in chrches and coffee houses..'cause people would just get so clingy and earnest and eyes filled with water..and i just wanted to say to them..i didn't make the music..we both did..i heard your souls saying something to mine..so please...you thanx and all but the performance was inspired by what i felt emanating out of all of you..the beauty is within..the author of the art or emotional exchange...was ah both of us... it's not a vain or ego thing with me..it's quite the opposite... i've got no problem playing my horn or keyboards or the drums before an audience...i just feel so naked when i sing because my singing is much like some of my writing..very very emotional..but i draw from everyone around me as well..so i feel awkward taking credit or praise or adulation or even romantic overtures based upon something that just poured out of me... 040121
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pipedream i know what you mean; i have never ever read my poetry at a reading because its exactly like being naked in front of a whole lot of people...i have read other people's poetry at readings and competitions and won things too, but my poetry aloud? only to myself, and just one other person who didn't know how important that one action was for me so it was a bit of a wasted effort.anyhow, coming back to my point- that doesn't detract from the fact that if you have a gift, its veyr ungrateful to waste your gift because of self-consciousness. if you *are* making a strong impact on people then you mustn't let that slip through your fingers!!!! (note the quadruple exclamation points pliss) i've been forcing myself to be more open with my work because if i don't, then i'll never know what kind of impact i could have with my words...and if i want to leave something significant behind, this is the only way to do it. don't let it slip by, 'phebes... 040121
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oldephebe *a nod to pd*

Someone recently asked me, (I think it was divine madness, he's new to blather)how would I define peace in a world where peace doesn't exist. I believe we can create peace within us despite the vying vortexes that swirl within the world of human frailty. Imagine a painting, the sky is a truculent dark purple, it seems like all of creation has furrowed it's brow. The trees are being throttled, the rapids seem swelled full of rage breaking their borders small animals scurry out of it's path, the idle camper cowers behind a prodigious tree..but look there nestled in the crook of a branch between limb and trunk is a small nest with two birdlings. They seem oblivious to the caudron churning about them, they are nestled firmly in the shelter their parent has made for them, from their perspective they are safe, and blind to what seethes around them. I guess that's my perception of peace. That is the heart attitude I try to cultivate within me. It gets me me over the wall. Sometimes it quiets that shriek building up in the back of my throat.
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040129
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pd but why do we cultivate peace in our hearts, i wonder. maintaining semblances of calm and cheeriness when we're wailing inside, are we lying to ourselves and everyone around us? why can't we let the shriek that's building up in our throats loose? why must we grow flowers over the cracks in our souls, distracting ourselves (and everyone else, which is the real point) with scent and colour so we forget- temporarily, albeit- the suppurating scars they camoflague? why must we hide from ourselves, why must we be all right? so everyone around us won't feel antsy because of our edginess? so they won't have to think of placations to try and heal hurts *they* cannot? they mean well, and one loves them for it...but im wondering why all of us are so uncomfortable with people in pain. afraid it will bring out ours? awkward because we don't know how to deal? scared because its going to make us ask ourselves how we'd handle it? i don't know. pah. 040129
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pd *nods at oE*

fergot in the wading through the sticky swamp of my thoughts
040129
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oldephebe I don't think that we can hide or not acknowledge our emotions. It's not healthy. Can we hide the flaw in the splendid wood? Should we not acknowledge the seed, the root of our sorrow? Should we run shrieking from the temple screaming my soul is on fire and run and run until it's flames have consumed us?

I have lived for most of my days with an unmet longing in my heart. Sure we all have to one extent or another. Why should we let the drum major of pain's parade lead us into neurosis or crippling depression ultimately into the leering open gash in the ground waiting to claim us? Pain and sorrow will always be with us. Pain in our bodies in our soul can be a tutor to a greater truth. But rolling around upon the ground writhing in pain for it's sake and taking nothing from it is to insidiously participate in our own demise.

The question here is not so much dealing with our pain for the benefit of ameliorating others discomfature. Now you sound like a pretty strong woman, able to confront and work through a grieving process and then move on, although you will still carry the shadow of that wound in your wood for quite sometime but you find other aspects of yourself to gain strength and purpose from. Unfortunately not everyone is as strong as you. For these people it takes an Anchor, a log to get a fooothold before the surging rapids sweep us away, over the edge.

Do we nourish the soul or does the soul nourish the rest of the body? Our souls nourish or poison the body just look at the brain chemistry of a profoundly depressed or manically euphoric person. If pain is not worked through, if healing is not pursued then it leaves its marks in us, dragging its talons in us until we not just acknowledge we FEEL it but what we must approach our pain with a knowing or let it teach us. We must care for our souls we must participate to heal this body that bleeds.

Our diet, our social, familial, emotional conditioning, our own thoughts our genetic predispositions all impact the manner in wich we characterize the objective universe and the the world within us. The single thread of light is our tether back to the world. I want to say this clearer and yet I want to be real even if I'm a little helter skelter. If others are uncomfortable with our pain then I guess that is something they will have to work out within themselves until we begin healing. Hmmm some of this may be unclear. Please point out the points I've made that are unclear to you. You may also want to read standing_chest_deep_in the_dark as well.
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later,

by dealing with our pain from a perspective of healing not avoidance is the ultimate act of cherishing our souls our personhood...maintaing our self-sufficiency..creating the well within us to drink from..we owe ourselves that
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040129
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oE *thst's standing_chest_deep_in_the_dark 040129
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realistic optimist mistar oldie butta feebie!!
how are you this evening?
personally? nearly teeming
with indescribable feeling
my chest has hit my ceiling
my consciousness is realing
and sensibilities reeling.

d'ya rather hear me whine
than string strained rhymes?
i'll drone on about how im stuck in a quagmire of my own unresolved desire,
seeing choices i don't feel compelled to follow, gang up and form a languid liquid loam life larcenist.

hrm that doesn't quite seem right. i'm just waiting for the night when this waiting feels right, and my trite life i fight to keep in sight of my ideological kites but which doesn't quite acheive a height ripe for flight.

hope you're doin alright,
sorry to unload my plight.
unintended to blight
the words of light
in which we delight.
040130
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oldephebe RO - Nah brah I don't mind you framing your pain upon the plain of poetrys' unique abacus of expression.. we all have this ancient ache and if we leave it unsaid .. it will climb up the rock of its subterranian fissure, carve out it's deep bed and send it's spores to singe our blood..the clarion call for us to take inventory, to honor what is unsaid, to work through it and rise from our sick beds the soul still intact, still able to spin the fevered dreams of hope..everything in us must be said ..even if in borders of a wry and rueful limerick/smile then..yeah it's all good. The are ocean's of old graves filled with shadows of moaning souls shut up for all eternity..so you say you've done the hallucinogenic flora thing and now your ready to deal?

Some may say we are a culture plagued by an incessant desire for improvement. And what's wrong with that? So just lie back on the couch son and listen for the doctors voice to intone soberly, almost benevolently over the sound of medierranian waves soft concussions against the coral reef..all wrapped around a digitally and surreptitiously imposed sonic sappy happy soundscape..making all kinds of suggestions to your beleagured mind..lie back son and suckle upon its sweet saacherine suggestive goodness.
Why no there's no need to closely examine it, there are contradictions here. What's wrong with making an external object (ME, the talismanic surrogate father who is gouging you checking account) the center of your existence? I'm the one singularly empowered to gently whisper away all of those pesky insoluble neurotic and paranoid tendencies. Let's boil it all down to a nice high sodium soup bullion cast all those echoes shaped out of chaos in the pot my friend... :)

Anyway, I hope your heart will know that this too soon will pass.

later,
040131
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oldephebe *every thing in us must be said, even if in between the borders of a wry smile or rueluf limerick* 040131
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Death of a Rose What do I want to ask you? 040131
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oldephebe Who do I look like here, clairvoyant clint or somewhooser?

I think I've dropped a dollop of my diarhetic discomfature on so many pages here that the whole ugly house of me is open and laid bare...but still..be it facetious or fecund, profound or prurient, sagacious or just silly..bring it up boldly from the bottom of the world and SWING it!

later, :)
040201
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Doar It was meant to be silly, but secretly I was kinda hoping for a purient and intuitive response, in the back of my soul. At least I gots sum more linguistics out of ya.

Peace

:-)
040202
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p2 as a logophile
do you have a favorite word?
and if so
what is that word?
040202
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u24 I'm sure this has been asked before. 040202
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p2 heh
oops
first question

uhhh, change my question to
"do you have
a new favorite word?"
040202
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p2 i understand
mellifluous
as it is quite
mellifluous itself

but exculpate?
i trip over its syllables
exonerate has a stronger
and more flowing
sound

i think i'm babbling to myself
at this point
040202
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oldephebe doar - will be back shortly from laying in the cleft of the delphic stones

p2 - first i gotta find out what logophile means... be right back
040202
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oldephebe okay - so yeah logophile that i am..i'd have to say at this moment i don't have any new favorite words, but i do have some new modes or tools of rhetoric i'm trying to assimilate into the old quil of somewhat blunt arrows...

are there any questions about say anything at all?

personal finance?

the state of the novel vis-avis a voraciously imbing culture of slickly and insidiously produced tele-visual entertainments?

the american vs western europe (specifically what used to be west germany's pedagological model)
education

foreign policy?..yeah it's benn done to death

cognitive illusions?

spiritual or the occult?

the hegemony and hypocrisy of the catholic church?

the hopeful demise of michael eisner?

the state of figure skating?professional figure skating that is

how about hayfever to dry out puss filled gums.. (it works, its the anti-histamine quotient)

the sixties?

industrial porcine farming methods?
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040308
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oE that's the efficasy of hayfever medicine on infected gums... 040308
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the stupid copy cat do you have aim? 040414
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tscc nevermind. 040414
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oldephebe well, i was about to reply.."yeah"

sooooo...
040414
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... i rarely log on as oldephebe on aol..had to switch accounts...

god it's really getting late...
040414
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oldephebe Now I feel really horrible about some of my replies to someone who was just having a bad day. Please accept my apologies. 040415
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tscc :) :) 040415
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they once lived have you ever indulged in the sweet sweet melodies of techno? and if so did you like it? 040628
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oldephebe Wow. Very interesting wordage. I've never associated techno with the terms, sweet or melodious. At the risk of offending someone I'd just say that since it's inception I associated techno whith the catharsis of wild sexual energy. A sort of libidinous facilitator and an appropriate medium to express said pent up sexual energies. You know, the whole capacious club thing. Winding and writhing svelt hard bodies until 4 am or something. Is there an aesthetic associated with techno? Well I guess there is. I guess I just don't have the sensitivity to appreciate it.

later,
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040629
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kookaburra how exactly did you pick your name?
(and if you said this already somewhere else, sorry for repetitive question)
040708
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Doar Have you ever reached that physical level that runners reach when they have passed the boundaries of this world? 040708
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nonlucid would you send me music? 040712
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oE hey special k - i put your answer on doar

doar, let me get back to you on that...i have actually, i used to run 30 miles a week...started running 15 miles a week when i was 12. A banquet of endorphines. Running got me through some tough tough times in my youth and in college. I mean, giving me an out let for the stress...and allowing me to meditate while i ran...it was great...
040712
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oldephebe Oh, yes. Sure nonlucid, it would be my honor. 040712
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u24 "Home of the "Let's Talk About Jesus" Radio Program"

?
040714
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Oh yes. It airs in several states on the east coast. On the AM dial. You can listen to archived radio programs @

Lovinggrace.org
040717
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? = ☻ 040717
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uow hey oe! how's it goin?
good summer so far?

can i be hearin' your music too?
is_mise_mon@yahoo.ca
040809
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kookaburra 30 MILES A WEEK!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
~end caps lock~
and by the way, if you happen to have any music lying around, just screaming to be sent to a girl by the name of kookaburra...
i'd be sure to take it off of your hands

P.S: 30 MILES!!!!!
040810
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Doar What happened to you Oe? 070808
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from