pary_scarallels Strideo Pary Scarallels sat in a cafe eating his turkey ruebin when he suddenly realized that he had the power to _______ . ... 040426 ... glissade attract dogs. Then he realized that his rueben had suddenly disapearred... Although he was sure he just had it the thought occured to him that _______ 040426 ... Strideo he didn't know where his car keys were. He was just going out to the parking lot to see if he had dropped them when a monkey _________. ... 040426 ... glissade jumped out of the passenger door, smiled in a coy fashion and told him "Happy _______"... 040426 ... kookaburra Saint Patrick's Day!" then the monkey pinched him hard, so the pary _________ 040426 ... glissade cried he sat down on the ground with his head between his knees and wished for a ________ 040426 ... glissade cried he sat down on the ground with his head between his knees and wished for a ________ 040426 ... Strideo green shirt. If only Pary had been wearing a green shirt he wouldn't have been pinched by that crazy monkey. Just as he stopped crying a dog came and ____________. ... 040426 ... kookaburra began sticking his nose in a very private area. pary was astonished, but_______ 040426 ... glissade he learned to accept things the way they are... oddly enough this made him recall a childhood memory about _______ 040426 ... kookaburra his feet. one day poor pary had been walking along when he stepped upon a nail. it pierced his foot, and as he sat there, crying and helpless______ 040426 ... Strideo he noticed an old crow watching him. As he sat there clutching his injured foot the old crow looked him and said "Pary you must learn to ____________. ... 040426 ... whitechocolatewalrus blow your nose. all that snot running down your face is really quite disgusting. come tomorrow, you better have _________ 040426 ... kookaburra my Grover cd with you. I really want that thing back, but you've been holding onto it with a passion. Do you have a thing for Grover? are you_______ 040426 ... Borealis dumb? I mean really...why aren't you speaking..speak up you bluthering child, you're more worthless than my..... 040426 ... kookaburra insurance plan. i've been paying into that thing for years, but nothing's come out of it yet...just like you! do you even_____ 040427 ... dsq know what love is? I want you to show me. Can you feel what love is? I know you can ______ 040427 ... x do it if you put your body in to it. and if you refuse, take a flying leap off of a _________ 040427 ... jthemo roller coaster. they never check if you're strapped in, right? i DARE YOU. besides, all you need is _______. 040427 ... whitechocolatewalrus a pet dracula so you can scare everyone away." at this, pary became so overwhelmed that he began to _______ 040427 ... dsq a quart of gas and some instant potatos. I swear, I read it on the internet! Now, you need to be really careful when you're heating that, 'cause if it catches on fire, _____ 040427 ... dsq doh! 040427 ... dsq projectile vomit. After he sprayed the band, pary's friend ______ 040427 ... Borealis slowly turned and wondered what pary could possibly have eaten in the past day or two that would have produced sufficient materials to get the range he had. wandering along the sidelines was a ____________ 040428 ... Smurf a stray dog which turned and looked at pary in disgust before running after a cat. Pary got up and continued on his way, before long he got to the ______ 040429 ... dosquatch Seven Eleven. He walked in, bought a Slurpee, Corn Nuts, and Tic Tacs. While he was paying, he looked at the cashier and asked, "__________ 040429 ... Borealis what do you suppose they put in the green tic tacs anyway? the cashier just looked at him, and refused to complete the transaction..believing the man had gone into cardiac arrest, pary _______ 040429 ... dosquatch whipped out a 9V battery, a meter of baling wire, and two coins and MacGyvered a defib kit on the counter. As he vaulted across, _________ 040429 ... Smurf the counter the cashier was so surprised by this action that he forgot to ________ 040430 ... kookaburra defend himself. SO pary hooked up his apparatus and gave the cashier a near fatal shock to the heart, leaving pary to_______ 040430 ... Strideo begin pounding on the man's chest. "Live! Live!" shouted Pary as the man struggled to reagain his breath. Just then a customer walked in and _________. ... 040430 ... Smurf pary happened to be giving mouth to mouth recepitation, the customer happened to be homophobic and screamed ________ 040501 ... Borealis "Holy Toledo, I'm a son of a gun!" as he flew towards the two, with a bag of ice, and a stack of cheap porn from the front of the store, _____________ 040502 ... realistic optimist dumping the ice between them, intending on cooling them off, the customer merely succeeded in conducting electricity between them, delivering a shock to Pary, which caused his heart to go into arrhythmia. at this point, the 7-11 clerk came to, and ________ 040502 ... Borealis mistook the leftover twizzlers behind the counter for a stick of dynamite. Leaping over the counter, abandoning the store, to its inevitable doom, and pary to his unfortunate predicament, he boarded the first bus which passed by the door, bearign him to the mystical land of _____________ 040503 ... dosquatch Make-Believe, where Trolley and King Friday greeted him warmly. Pary, however, was left lying in a pile of electrified ice with a very confused customer looking over him. As he blacked out, it occurred him that ________ 040503 ... kookaburra earlier something else had occured to him. but, in his dazed state he couldn't remember what it was. so instead of thinking too hard he decided to______ 040503 ... dosquatch dance a jig like Bruce Willis at the end of The Last Boyscout. The customer, mistaking this for a siezure, _______ 040504 ... Borealis made a move towards Pary's abandoned 9 Volt, but after thinking twice, then three times, he decided he had had enough with daring rescues for the day. He instead contented himself with a cup of coffee, and a mess of hickory sticks. little did he know ____________ 040504 ... Strideo that just outside a convenience store robber was about to burst in through the door and ply his trade. It was just as the armed robber entered the store that Pary ___________. ... 040505 ... kookaburra regained the ability to move. He stood up all perkylike, and grinned at the robber, knowing that_______ 040505 ... eskimos friend the robber had a deadly deadly spider climbing down his back. unfortunately the spider jumped at pary, causing him to ________ 040506 ... lou_la_belle shreik and holler like a 5 year-old who just lost her barbie out the car window. the robber laughed at his good fortune and stepped towards the counter to take care of buisness, but all of a sudden _______. 040507 ... Borealis a giant pink elephant with yellow polka dots and a party hat fell through the roof (a reject from the land of make-believe), and gave the robber a very bad sprained ankle. pary, seeing his opportunity to get on with his day...walked out the door, and _____________ 040508 ... dosquatch (apologies to SE Hinton) into the bright light, he had only two things on his mind: Paul Ruebens and a ride home. He wished he had the cool, collected demeanor of Ruebens, but then he supposed he was collected enough to get by. His name is Paryboy Curtis (in this paragraph, anyway). Paryboy had a long walk home ahead of him, and nobody to keep him company. He hadn't made it far when a voice behind him yelled, "Hey, Greaser! How would you ___________ 040508 ... Deomis like to have some free ice cream?!" Paryboy turned around and found a man offering him what appeared to be a scoop of double fudge on a stick. Surprised at his good fortune Paryboy accepted the ice cream. As he bit into the cold delicacy, he discovered ___________ 040508 ... lou_la_belle that the man selling the ice cream had left. in fact, as pary raised his head and looked around, he noticed the whole nieghborhood had suddenly disapeared. cars stood silent on the road and a few tumbleweeds blew past pary as he contemplated this this intriguing situation. however, just then _______________. 040511 ... dosquatch he received a helpful email telling him that a Nigerian billionaire wants to help him refinance his viagra, and that a generous donation will be made in his name if he forwards the message to everyone in his address book. After Pary smashed his computer in disgust, he __________ 040513 ... Borealis wandered over to the nearest duck conservatory, and proceeded to frolick with said ducks, until the cows came home.. Paryboy was all the time wondering...what time exactly was that? meanwhile in a parallel dimension, Pary _____________ 040513 ... kookaburra stared moodily into the distance, dressed in shibby black leather. "i believe that i have found the meaning of life, it would have to be that-" but pary was interrupted by______ 040523 ... ^.^ seven bright green elephants wearing pink ballet slippers. The elephants trampled everything in their path, including Pary. When Pary awoke, he found himself having a cup of tea with _________ 040523 ... closet ballerina two dachsunds named Jesus and Bjork. While Bjork howled, Jesus turned his tea into scotch whiskey and slyly switched all the cups around until no one was sure whose was whose. But before Pary could choose a cup and taste it, ___________ 040523 ... kookaburra the floss monster came in. "this story has been getting weirder and weirder, so i thought i might be welcome" the monster said sadly, expecting rejection. "nonsense, come in! There's always room in this dimension!" and sure enough the table spread longer to accomodate the monster. so they drank their tea slowly until they reallized that the floss monster______________ 040524 ... ... must have been watching them all along. Quick as a flash, Pary, Jesus and Bjork jumped ________ 040524 ... dosquatch the floss monster's bones in a technicolor 4-way orgy with a funky walking bass line. several minutes later, while smoking their "after" cigarettes, Pary turned to Bjork and said, "______ 040524 ... dosquatch "Where did everybody go? I mean, a couple minutes of privacy, sure, but it's been, like, three weeks!" At that, Pary climbed out of bed and ________ 040612 ... kookaburra hacked up a hairball. "um" pary said. "okaaayyy..." bjork, taking advantage of his confusion__________ 040612 ... Unrecognized ran and told the secret plan for taking over the world to the czar of Russia. Upon the notice of bjork's dissapearance, pary decided to_________ 040720 ... puredream take some one on one time with the monkey next door. They had been having an affair in the lonely hours when Bjork was taking a bath, but upon arrival at the garbage can house Pary discovered a severe lack of _________. 040720 ... spiffy (wow this is hillarious i can't stop laughing and sorry just ignore me carry on) 040721 ... Deomis consumable materials. Knowing that nothing good could be done on an empty stomach, he decided to head to the store. As he pulled up to the grocery store, he screamed as he saw___________ 040721 ... Strideo a dump truck full of "tickle me elmo" dolls skidding across the parking lot. The dump truck went tumbling into a ditch, flinging elmo dolls everywhere and one of the dolls _____________. ... 040721 ... kookaburra stood and walked menacingly towards him. "tickle me" he was saying "please!!!". pary of course was terrified, but he had the bravery to attempt to __________ 040721 ... puredream jump off the nearest cliff in an attempt to rid himself of the vision of red dolls giggling their asses off. So running to the bridge, conveniently located behind himself, Pary climbs the railings and is about to float down into the depths of the stream when he notices that________. 040721 ... Deomis the potato in his pocket had grown eyes. He stared at the potato and the potato stared back. Knowing that this could sell for millions, he__________ 040721 ... Borealis repocketed the potatoe planning to market it as the "all seeing eye of the underworld, in spud form!" it could be yours now for 3 easy payments.. sadly, all his dreams of a merchandise based empire were smashed with the arrival of ___________ 040721 ... ;) * Bubble & War * the_difference_between_pepsi_and_coke 040721 ... like id tell you crazy stalker person no. this is a game. you are not playing along. you are screwing it up completely. please stop. (and let the game continue as planned) 040721 ... Deomis Darth Vader. The evil man quickly used the force to take the tuber away from pary. " I AM UNSTOPABLE NOW! " cried Vader. Pary would have punched Vader and regained his potato, but we was distracted by a voice saying __________ 040721 ... kx21 iLink:- coke_politics_meets_pepsi_folklore 040721 ... Im so sorry "Stop, you evil dictator! We know you're hiding weapons of mass destruction behind the moons of Endor! Aww, darnit, now we have to invade Iraq again." With that, George Bush III ______ 040721 ... whitechocolatewalrus spontaneously combusts and pary claps his hands at the impending fire works. In the meantime, a shard of bush's glasses had hit vader in the face and he dropped the tuber which had magically grown legs and scattered away. Pary saw this as his best chance to _____________ 040721 ... puredream fly to the moon and back. But upon arrival in the land of cheese he discovered a leaky pipe in his self propelling spaceship (also conveniently located in his pocket) so he _______. 040721 ... kookaburra grabbed a piece of wesleydale and tried to stop up the leak. "goodbye, brave cheese" he said softly, giving the cheese his due. but suddenly the leaky pipe shied away from the cheese. "im lactose intolerant!" it screamed. pary gasped, and ____________ 040721 ... dosquatch stared... for it wasn't the pipe speaking at all, but instead his long lost Turkey Rueben! "Where have you been?" Pary cried, "I've been so _____ 040721 ... Deomis his eyes popped out as he saw Bjork preparing to fly away in a plaid meteorite. pary threw his miniship at bjork and knocked him out. He took control of bjork's meteorite ship and flew to_________ 040721 ... kookaburra (woah, two at once...who gets it?) 040721 ... dosquatch (whichever one you'd have the most fun following up, I think...) 040721 ... Deomis (go with the turkey ruebin) 040721 ... Borealis (turkey reuben it is) ...i've been so... hopelessly lost without you. *insert cheesy love theme here* pary sniffles as he lays out in great insufferable detail the particulars of his longing for the turkey reuben, and exactly the way he FEELS about his disappearance...the turkey reuben responds _______________ 040721 ... poet by melting. pary is unable to move because his feet are stuck in turkey reuben goo. he sees a passing spaceship and yells ___________ 040722 ... Borealis Hey! do any of you know the chemical breakdown of this moon cheese? my lactose intolerant machinery came without a warranty! the passing ship continued on its course, but a small figure poked his head out of the rear. Pary was shocked to realize that this figure was a ____________ 040722 ... Deomis famous figure from long ago, known as Elvis Presley. He waved at pary and tossed him a package. It was brightly wrapped in silver paper and said "Happy Hanukah" in glowing green letters. Perplexed, pary opened the package and found_______ 040723 ... Borealis a rather rude looking martian mouse, with scales, spectacles, and an extremely elongated nose sporting equally elongated wire whiskers. he proceeded to sting pary with one of his porcupine quill like facial hairs, and prance (yes prance) off into the distance chanting in a sing song sort of way "I know the anwers...I know how you can get back home...I know about your turkey reuben..." etc etc etc... pary simply shook his head and _______________ 040723 ... Strideo in doing so attracted a large black dog with wings. To his amazement the dog spoke and said "if you give me whats left of your ruben, I'll let you ride on my back. You see I'm on my way to _________" ... 040723 ... puredream discovering the true secret of turkey reubens and I believe that the final piece to my puzzle lies within the sticky mess in your hands. Do you think you can help me?" To which Pary replied, "_________?" 040723 ... poet no. pary was stuck for 5 doays and on the brink of starvation when he realized ____________ 040723 ... poet days* 040723 ... Borealis that his father had actually been an armadillo! it had always lingered on the edges of his consciousness...like a tick, or a fly out of the corner of your eye.. a strange uncanny feeling had always overwhelmened him whenever he gazed into his father's beady little eyes framed by a tough armored body. His mother had never said a word.. this realization brought him to question the very basis of _______________ 040723 ... zspookster The End. 040808 ... Borealis WHAT!!!!! 040819 ... spiffy don't end it 040819 ... nighean_siofra Pary thought, "what is the end? does it REALLY end? what happens in the afterlife?" suddenly, a gushing fountain appeared beside him and a bright orange clown fish jumped out to stand at his side. "Yo" Pary said to this new apparition, "Nice fountain. Who are you?" "I am the all knowing Clown Fish of Wisdom, and i am here to answer your plea." the fish flapped, "Listen mortal, for this is the secret of death. All that happens is.... 040819 ... lucky jello." "Jello?" "Yes jello. A hot tub full of lime jello to be quite precise." And with that Pary jumped into the.... 040819 ... Borealis great abyss of carnal doom... hoping to illicit some sympathy from the green goblins living in the hill side to the left of his cave, he assumed a rather melodramatic tone of voice and cried... 040819 ... pete "for art thou but a filthy little piece of cheese? must i wash thee before i devour thee? none the less, let us be off into the twilight fury!" and so he began to sing a song about.... 040819 ... Borealis cheeseburgers. "Cuz he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart And there's nothin' gonna tear you two apart And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese, He would get down on his hands and knees To see if someone accidently dropped some cheese in the dirt And he would wash it off for you Wipe it off for you Clean that dirty cheese off just for you!" suddenly losing his train of thought, Pary....... 040822 ... . noticed that several of the little green goblins that lived to the left hand side of his cave had wandered over and were proceeding to eat his shoes. "HEY!" Pary yelled, "Back off, these are new!" The little green goblins continued on happily chewing, clearly ignoring thier victim's shouts. Then Pary thought, what if after they eat my shoes, they start eating my feet!! Really panicking now, Pary searched his memory for any type of goblin-killing techiniques or gear. It came to him just as the first goblin was nibbling away his sock and Pary shouted out into the universe (cause hey that seemed to have worked last time right?) "Help me! I need __________ 040902 ... nighean_siofra 2 banana's and a blender!" Pary waited anxiously for the items to drop out of the sky. no such luck. Seconds turned into mintues, mintues turned into hours and hours turned back into seconds. "Where's my stuff!" Pary yelled loudly, trying to ignore the fact that one particualry hungary goblin had just started nibbling his sock. "You didn't say please" and ominous voice boomed. You gotta be kidding me, Pary thought. But before he could open his mouth to say the magic word, ________________ 041118 ... pSyche he found miniature models of a banana and a blender in his hand. Oh, well, that's great! though Pary. By now the green goblins had turned orange and were begin to eat his feet. Pary was suddenly inspired and yelled, "you don't wnt to eat my feet! I have.. um... dandruff on them!" At these words, the goblins ____________ 041219 ... pSyche took him to chuckey cheeses and made him play table tennis. He was som humiliated afterwards that he____ 050124 ... . . 050414 ... . up and died on the spot. whether or not poor pary would be resurected depends on the whim of a passing gyspy named __________. 050414 ... shivers maximus sparticus she scratched her head and decided to pass the time by doing a short rain dance. after tripping on a small kid sipping a rootbeer, she mummbled to herself ____________ 050601 ... pSyche loves this game something about ruining the food she was going to have for dinner. She ressurected pary,put his soul in the rootbeer bottle, then sent him to the market to buy another small child for her dinner. As pary walked towards the market, a small ill-looking sofa came up to him saying, "say, can you give me a hand?" Pary, quite taken aback at such an offer, quickly turned around, only to find himself face to face with ______ 050602 ... andru235 his reflection in a mirror. "My, how handsome I am," he thought, posturing. He shifted from one foot to the other, primping. After a moment he tired of this and began to walk away. He walked an walked, feeling pragmatically antagonistic. Then he began to shiver. In the distance, there was a roll of ___________ 050603 ... andru235 masking tape. He wasn't sure what to make of this so he began singing that old classic, "I am so in love with ___________" 050603 ... pete my old chevy." He stopped singing and looked up to see an angry back-country type looking at him. "Hey boy," the man said, "Do ya still have that truck? I'd love to ______" 050825 ... poet drive it. if you know what i mean." Pary, not quite sure WHAT he possibly could have meant, gave him a puzzled look and replied, "_________" 051205 ... pSyche "Can I see your driver's licence?" The man, obviously offended by his retort, pulled a gun from thin air, and with a rebel cry began to ______ 060111 ... monkey out in space unzip his pants. The man then suddenly stopped, gave one quick lick to his pistol’s barrel and told pary that if he ever crossed his path again he would ______ 060112 ... icy paint a rhinocerous pink and place a furry hat upon it. pary, somewhat perplexed by this statement because pink is a lemur's favourite colour, scratched his head and asked, "__________ 060113 ... . . 060620 ... superleni the gypsy, riding the man-nun's pink rhinocerous. pary dismounted when he saw the gypsy. "it took me a few hours to realise," pary said. "but i think i'm in love with you." the gypsy raised her eyebrows. then moved closer to pary. she reached out her ________ 060620 ... LS hand and smacked him across the face, and then gave him a hard open palm to the groin, grabbing, and painfully twisting his manhood. "You don't even know me, not really. Your either confused or _________." 060620 ... superleni you've mistaken me for my twin brother. He dresses in sequins and stilletos when he dances in that bar down in ________ 060620 ... . . 070214 ... . scar-lar meaning having magnitude, not direction. . 070214 what's it to you? who go blather from