anyone_awake_and_lonely_right_now Mahayana im just curious if i am the only one? 040423 ... notme is this a trick question? is a loner. 040423 ... Mahayana No, its not a trick question just wondering if anyone felt like they needed/wanted to talk with someone tonight, im feeling rather lonely myself and would welcome the distraction of anothers voice and thoughts. 040423 ... notme sorry, was just playing. i usually feel lonely when i'm awake, and sleeping doesn't help much. 040423 ... Mahayana i know exactly how you feel sleeping would help me but i cannot sleep with a heavy heart and my insomnia doesnt help much neither 040423 ... notme Lonely Girls Chorus: Lonely girls, lonely girls Lonely girls, lonely girls Heavy blankets, heavy blankets, heavy blankets Cover lonely girls Sweet sad songs, sweet sad songs, sweet sad songs, Sung by lonely girls (Repeat Chorus) Pretty hairdos, pretty hairdos, pretty hairdos Worn by lonely girls Sparkly rhinestones, sparkly rhinestones, sparkly rhinestones Shine on lonely girls (Repeat Chorus) I oughta know, I oughta know, I oughta know About lonely girls (Repeat Chorus) -williams, lucinda . 040423 ... ... audioblog 040424 ... yeah! thats it. smiles brightly audioblather 040424 ... Smurf (cries) Soo Beautifull 040424 ... smurfus rex sometimes when I get this way I make it worse by loading my "Brooding" playlist into Winamp. 040424 ... delial i am! ... and this song doesn't help me any; "no, not "baby" anymore if i need you, i'll just use your simple name only kisses on the cheek from now on and in a little while, we'll only have to wave," ...::forces self to sleep:: 040424 ... ferret i am both awake, AND lonely. 040424 ... just another teen fuckup likewise 040424 ... Mahayana well the next time that someone is both lonely and awake and/or just lonely or just awake... id be more than willing to make a phone call -- i have free nights and weekends, so anyone in the US is fair game for me ... im not really exciting, im not really anything special but sometimes i understand the inclination of needing to hear anothers voice out there... esp. on lonely nights [if you may ever need this, please let me know] 040424 ... minnesota_chris I need it every so often, and it'd be fun to talk to you. How do we reach you? 040424 ... love & hate I am always awake and lonely, there is no distraction. 040424 ... kookaburra i am awake. im am not lonely. i am lonely late at night when nobody is here and i come on this site. "blather should never be empty, i cant take it" 040424 ... unhinged i called you when i was awake and lonely sass and you never returned my call 040424 ... kookaburra anyone_asleep_and_lonely_right_now "???" 040424 ... Piso Mojado if i had been online last night, i wouldve loved to talked to you Mahayana. (these days i have only one friend in this city, and loneliness strikes often) 040424 ... Mahayana + Minnesota_chris, I would enjoy talking to you as well, i agree it would be fun indeed. I would enjoy it esp. on nights you would feel as if you really needed it. I can be reached on my cell, the only ironically horrible thing is this, the display unit on my phone died today when i was on it and was talking to my girlfriend and i guess i cried too much cuz for now-- i cant see the display but can sometimes make calls. I just got authorization to send it in to be repaired since it is still under warrenty, so perhaps in another 15 business days I can reassert my offers. + unhinged hun!!! when did you call me, i never ever got a voice mail from you/nor any messages that informed me i missed a call from a number i didnt recognize. awww unhinged im so so so sorry do you remember how long ago you called me sweetie, im so very sorry i missed it and im even more sorry that you were awake and lonely. i swear i would have returned it had i ever known you called me. Please forgive me for whatever happened was [not] by my choice at all. when my phone comes back from the shop please let me try to return your call to you -- ok? PS if you can put up with me, i would love to hang out with you sometime, i mean holy-creepes we live in the same damn Milwaukee County and we've yet to see each other again since your amazing concert. Im sure you have a whole swarm of wonderful friends here in the city but if youre ever lonely and/or would love some company... let me know. + Piso Mojado, i would've loved to have talked with you as well. Im sorry to hear about only having one friend in that city of yours [may i ask without being too nosey, where do you live?]Lets take care of the loneliness when it strikes again, of course after I get my cellphone back from the shop--that is. =========================== When I get my phone back I will post here to let everyone know, and when the mood strikes and people need someone to talk to or just simply want to talk to someone -- then we shall -- as far as numbers are concerned i would need peoples numbers then since I have free long distance on my cell -- that way it wont cost yall any money to chat with me. [just my luck hey, when i really would benefit from connecting with others i had to go cry my eyes out and make my screen disappear... but shhh im not telling them that at the shop otherwise they wont fix my damn expensive phone] 040424 ... magicforest tonight, yes 040424 ... Piso Mojado Mahayana- im sorry about your phone being broken. it's hard to be isolated involuntarily. the city is los angeles. i grew up here (am living at home until the fall) and all the people i knew in high school have gone their respective ways/to their respective colleges. i am feeling lonely right now (saturday nights are the worst,) but i am going to take a bath with lavender essential oil- hopefully that will lull me to sleep. sweet dreams 040424 ... sincerely i am in the same boat as piso (i think it was) in the sense that almost all of my friends have moved recently and my one real friend left is too infactuated with a new girl friend to do much, so i am often lonley at nights when i cant sleep. if you ever want to talk to someone you dont know (or bairly know if youve been here for awhile) IM me with AIM, im mirabara11. if you want to call, sry im too cheap to pay long distance, ill give you # on aim. bandersnatch 040424 ... Syrope not for long i just wish there were words for the sobs that finally come that grip and rack the body and the tears that squeeze out of angrily squinted eyes and the comfort that being alone can bring when you don't want to be around yourself any more and suddenly everything is more real this damp tissue, the colors reflecting off my wet eyelashes, the soft textures of the arm of the couch holding me up, the feeling of my fingerprints against the smooth skin on my leg i'm so tired but going to sleep would be surrenduring control i don't trust myself in the realm of dreams i know that there are thoughts in my mind that i couldn't wake up after realizing i forget to breathe until the next tear drips and hits my chest, but when i gasp my lungs hold it against me i want to drown in the emptiness i can't survive in this silence 040425 ... unhinged it was probably about two months ago now that i called; it was on a saturday and i left a message, as nicole not as unhinged, and i am awake and lonely all the time in this goddamn town. i guess i have pals but no real friends. and i'm starting to drown again. remember the shostakovich that you heard that day? i learned it this semester, second violin. we performed at turner hall a couple of weeks ago and it was super cool. it was a fundraiser for the peck school of the arts with art work and film and music; they miked us. and we all wore black in a burnt and ravaged ballroom and it was very shostakovich. yes, it is a shame that we never see each other. call me sometime, send an email for my number. 040426 ... Mahayana email sent :} 040426 ... unhinged email sent back :-/ but for you :-) 040426 ... jane always awake usually lonely 040426 ... souless wanderer always 040426 ... kookaburra i told you im asleep... 040426 ... Dosquatch Aren't we all we all really asleep? Aren't we all just going through the motions of this waking dream, this "reality" that has been created, to turn the human body into this? (holds up a battery) Oh... wait, wrong script. 040426 ... kookaburra hee hee thats pretty nifty... i said nifty... it has got to be time for bed... 040426 ... Mahayana im going to be up all night tonight and probably extremely lonely ... ill admit freely that i am tremendously depressed right now; i dont want to live any longer, and im feeling rather intolerable towards myself; however, pleasse dont let these words of current condition put fear into you for i dont see this truly pivotal as far as me bringing you down but rather and as an opportunity for me to lose myself in someone else’s words, problems, be it whatever it may be ... someone else's life... right now, here in these ineloquent words of mine, im going to take the chance and be completely exposed and vulnerable ... ill say quite honestly that ... im hurting incredibly awful and would welcome the company of others, esp. if you can identify with any emotion that i have been feeling lately. i would like to be there for you, if i may, and just listen to you as you perhaps vent, or talk about your day, hell im not even afraid to hear someone cry on the other line [although it would greatly sadden me to hear you in pain like that] I want you all to know that it would be ok with me entirely. If you think you may want/need this tonight, or merely would enjoy some company just let me know and we can discuss getting your phone number to me via email so that I may call you; however, just know that my night minutes don’t start until after 9:01 PM Central Standard Time… anytime after that im fair game. Also if you post interest in this tonight and for some reason I cant come to the computer to get your phone number please try not to feel rejected by me at all – just know that something had come up and that im not ignoring you and furthermore know that it is not b/c you are not good enough for me to call you – I wont feel that way at all. I extend this offer from me to anyone that would benefit from it, even if you don’t like me or haven’t liked me in the past – I don’t care – these things don’t matter to me. Please be well everyone and just know that I do care about you all – even if i never show you guys or never show you properly that I do, please know that I do. With utmost Sincerity sassafrass 040429 ... love & hate Dear Mayanah. I understand your feelings as i too feel them myself. Please explain the predicament you are in as it seems very similar to mine and we can keep each other company through the long lonely night. 040429 ... Piso Mojado mahayana- although we have never really talked (except for the above exchange) i would really like to talk to you tonight (or if not tonight soon) because i know how you feel- i have been feeling this way for atleast a year now (some days are easier than others, some i can barely go on) and i would like to share with you- words, coversation, simpatico, memories, hopes, fears, etc. so at your convenience email me. sarah 040429 ... Mahayana Piso Mojado [youve got mail!] 040430 ... Mahayana Dear Love&Hate, Unfortunately, i do not think it would be neither wise nor appropriate of me to explain the predicaments i currently find myself within. Out of respect of my girlfriend that use to frequent blather, i think that i have made a grave error in judgment when i apologized to her via blather, at the time i thought it to be the best method; however, after careful consideration and contemplation i deemed it irresponsible and disrespectful of myself to have done so. So out of pure respects to my devotions to the one i love, i cannot and shall not in good faith express the predicaments i find myself in. I just wanted to express this to you so that you would know it was not a personal choice or judgmental decision based upon what you say here nor who you are. but if you would still like some company -- id be more than willing to share my time with you when lonesomeness strikes. 040430 ... Mahayana Just a simple update: I still have my phone it is back to 90% working capacity, I have both display units back to working [so now i dont have to blindly enter phone numbers]... the only glitch that hasnt worked itself out is i can no longer take pictures with my camera, I can view the old ones but the camera unit will not take new ones... so this is the plan i will hold onto my phone until about the end of may, at which time i will send it in to be repaired and will let you all know when it is being sent/and when it returns. for now, if anyone would appreciate a call sometime [keep in mind my plan is for nights 9:01 pm CST and later and weekends] just send me an email with your phone number in it and ill enter it into my contacts list on my cellphone. and on a night if you are lonely and we notice we are both awake at blather, just let me know -- and perhaps i can call you up -- if even for a quick 5 min hello. and its ok if you get shy and hang up on me its ok i understand i get shy too sometimes :) my email address is: sassysolstice@hotmail.com PS please do not fear me having your phone number im a decent nice person, and i have met 4 people from blather in "real life" and none of them are dead :D ok, that was a little creepy but you know what i mean, I just want you all to know that youre safe with me nothing will happen with me having your number. 040430 ... minnesota_chris you haven't called 040505 ... minnesota_chris oh... I read what you wrote above... I blather at the library and at school, so I guess you won't see me here at night. 040505 ... Mahayana i hate to do this b/c i feel like such an insincere failure, yet again; however, ... due to having spent more than $600 this month i wasnt expecting to due to some unforeseeable circumstances... i have to by the end of this week cancel my cellphone contract and therefore will unfortunately not be able to call people up. perhaps if people in the not too too distant future would still be interested in this sort of thing ... ill repost here to let you all know ive secured enough cash flow to once again own a cell. but for now if anyone ever wants to communicate with me my aim is: fireworxs and email: sassysolstice@hotmail.com [ps for those whom have written me lately via email that i havent gotten back to ... please be patient ... ive been out of town recently and have just gotten back and have been trying to cram and catch up in my classes for i am terribly behind and depressed all at once] thank you for your considerations and im sorry im just a huge let down- in everything that i try to do, i really am ... please know i meant well and truly do care about you all. [always awake|always lonely] 040513 ... magicforest is awake and lonely too 040513 ... megan me me! 040513 ... Mahayana [marked] 040518 ... Mahayana i cant stand the loneliness anylonger [i wish somebody would just hold me] i would do just about anything right now to be held, if only for a little while 040518 ... Bespeckled Awake late, blatherskites? Be lonely no more!!! .... ...ISKETCH.NET!!!! 040603 ... mood ring oh i go on there too once in a while... 040604 ... ferret i am not awake. 040604 ... uow this must be what hell feels like 040810 ... daxle alone would be nice not in pain would be nice self destructing wrist bands would be nice as well as self removing contacts and eye makeup and blerbedy blur grr rah 040810 ... witchesrequiem duh! 040810 ... .nom blah. 050214 ... somebody ... 050214 ... jane oh i am 050214 ... realistic optimist hot chocolate and home made chex mix for all! 050214 ... stork daddy how about a big ups for that! you knowwwwwwww! 050214 ... sirflaccid I'm here..... 050214 ... .nom goodnight_blather. 050214 ... somebody ... 050214 ... realistic optimist Universal Power Supply? 050214 ... . . 050311 ... jane yep, once again 050311 ... dondeestanlosjaguares for how many nights in a row now. . . i lost track 050311 ... Ivory Funny how -I- broke up with -my- boyfriend, and now -I'm- lonely. Stupid conscience. You guys can call me anytime. Just mail me for a number. I love to talk to people that just randomly call me. It makes me very, very happy to know that someone took time out of his/her day just to think of me. It makes me smile. 050312 ... delial five months and_counting 050312 ... megan my heart aches right now 050330 ... *Amy* as always... 050331 ... Webley When im lonely there is no one around to know im awake, not even me. 050401 ... Piso Mojado too much everything not enough everyone back again 050410 ... *Amy* me, again, but still I don`t get used to it... 050411 ... . piso mojado je pense que la vie peut être difficile pour vous actuellement. la vie est courte, mais elle est large. je t'aime, je vous espère trouvaille l'été invincible dans votre âme. elle existe, même dans les coeurs de l'hiver. 050412 ... thorn i'm almost always lonely. but, even if i did have someone to talk to, i pretty much don't talk at all, except to about 2 people. so i create my own lonliness, and i'm stuck in it now. 050519 ... *Amy* I`m awake and lonely and drunk right now, but, anyway, I don`t think anyone would like to talk to me, now or ever 050520 ... nomme) i make myself sad 050620 ... delial "Cassandra in Greek legend, you recall, was condemned to know the future but to be disbelieved when she foretold it. Hence the agony of foreknowledge combined with the impotence to do anything about it." this will be my epitaph. 050620 ... iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl i know that legend she foretold the destruction of troy (virgil's aeneid, book 2) and nobody believed her. anyway, yet again i am awake (sadly, for i want to sleep) and i am lonely and scared and sad and panicky about exams. i really don't like feeling like this. is anybody else feeling awake and lonely right now? i could do with knowing. just anything to prove that there are other people feeling this now. whines again. 050620 ... Lemon_Soda I'm in an office tucked away where noone can see me. My usual office mates are both gone, so i have blather and these market sales comparison reports to keep me company. 050620 ... guy this is the third freaking time i have switched my computer on just cant sleep with the thought of her in my head its driving me crazy cant sleep, eat im losing all my screws i cant even distract myself wherever i see its her her her her her her all over the place is there a cure to this ? 050620 ... Doar no. neither awake or lonely right now. 050620 ... troll under the bridge of life To know that someone shares your thoughts and screams, that there is a little part of someone in your head. to feel that loneliness is dred. hurts so bad wish I was....OK, OK write some in my journal, write a letter to a friend, find lost souls on the internet. blather 050621 ... nom) i. 051112 ... Death of a Rose yes. 051113 ... (_) not alone 051113 ... rage everyone in the world. i want to be whole. 051113 ... andru235 do i really need to confirm it by blathing here? oops 051113 ... thorn Yes. It's only 1030 here, but I'm awake and lonely. 051114 ... Piso Mojado i give my love to you all 051114 ... caresscoffee i'd admit to being lonely but i'd probably have to kill myself... so i'll just continue to say "I would if I could but I can't so I won't" 051114 ... Death of a Rose still awake, still lonely. self imposed. 051224 ... ivyducktwilightseto it's christmas eve and I've only wrapped two fucking presents. I'm lonely and depressed as fuck right now with still more shit to do before I go to bed. God this christmas blows. Happy holidays, you bastards. 051224 ... Mahayana [ill always be] 051225 ... who i am doesnt matter anymore i am every nite. i dred my bed so i sit up till i cant take it anymore. why do i dread my bed? because i hate sleeping alone. it makes me angery. grrr (there is always my dog of course who i share my bed with but if i try to cuddle he gets mad and growls at me. so warning:dont wake my dog when he just falls asleep) 051225 ... Antonio Banderas hey look its almost 06, time to make a string of depressing posts all over this muh. I'm almost constantly talking to myself, whether it be in my own head or actually speaking. is that weird? 051226 ... nom . 060123 ... u24 hey nom. 060123 ... u24 ah well. sleep tight :-) 060123 ... anne-girl scribbles "i was here - 2006" on the wall blather_graffiti 060219 ... unhinged if you are ever around this page anymore sass i moved back to milwaukee but i have a different cell number now so email me if you want it/want to talk i'm almost always awake during the hours when everyone else is asleep i'm always lonely 060220 ... thorn awake and lonely once again. i need to stop procrastinating and finish my video for school. 060223 ... unhinged i have a normal diurnal clock now i live in a different state my loneliness is softer my meditation practice moved me to smile notice keep going (the human condition in the digital age perpetually alone in a flurry of distraction) 190830 ... lemon_soda Not anymore. Only when I thought I wasn't supposed to be. 190831 what's it to you? who go blather from