lisa deb her name is lisa and she's oh, i'd say 11 or 12 years old like she's still small but, then she's not.. she loves to play with fire shuts the door behind her always always always gets bored and turns on the tv she didn't like the new mirror in the bathroom so one day she picked it up and let it drop oops she stops the cd player on sad depressing songs and hopes someone will hear the words ~ she throws down the picture frames and fiddles with the light switches makes faces in the smoke of incense steals the fish tank filter but is nice to the cat lisa... such a strange sad child she had a lock on her door she begged for weeks to get it there what was she scared of? "if i die before i wake then you'll know why" said the song she stopped the other day- but why? and how, dear little one? for, lisa is the ghost child who sleeps in my new room she lays upon the floor and i can feel her presence there she died and i dont know why i dont know how i only know all she wants is to be noticed to not be so alone i want to help her but tell me, how do you help a ghost? 000210 ... Equin0x Loudly we proclaim our love for each other. I don't think we will meet, but is that the point? The joy of text. 000524 ... bisa_lover funny this should be listed as a word... Native to a small town, destined for great things (she was). I looked on, thinking, nothing more than thinking, imagining things that I thought were unrealistic "I should know better"... "not in my life time" -- I thought. But thoughts don't have any repercussions on fate. I DIDN'T KNOW HER. PHYSICal[S], emotional, more than that. she peers into my soul, and I into hers. The world is now secondary, for she now is the composition of my universe. We lay there, she places her foot on the window, in the night after many times we lay close I LOVER HER. her footprint now just a reminder, staring at me from behind. Took it for granted, now thats gone too. Now I peer at her through a wall of my own misfortune. I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW HER. 000718 ... Justin_Bustin ...he had an idea of where he was headed but nothing definite entered his head. The Parkway has many exits, many of which already passed. Ah, he saw that their destination was a "Shore Point". That small off-ramp that lead to all exits at the shore was a nice give away. A small smile appeared accross his face, she had mentioned going to Cape May with a friend over Thanksgiving and earlier mentioned a friend who actually lived down south at the shore. He remembered that exit 82 was mentioned, which shore point is that? This is such a wonderful evening, getting treated to a surprise night at a beach. Shorly after consolidating those mental notes "Seaside Heights" appeared on what seemed to be the biggest sign ever to exist on the Parkway. His heart sank. His eyes widened and his stomach turned. Was it time to face all the emotion right now? Could he handle it? The irony was too much at the moment and nothing entered his head. He knew she had no clue what memories haunted him, she had no clue about the laughter and crying that he could still hear in his head. He kept his cool as long as he could. For a while everything was ok, but the moon light that was dancing accross high tide was starting to pierce his soul. He knew right then he wasn't getting through this night with out his heart suffering. The bridge made everything in the bay look ominous and strange, but the turn off came up quickly and now they were entering Seaside Heights. Its almost been a whole year, one month short to be exact. He thought it wasn't so bad until with out realizing they passed Franklin Avenue. He didn't know the did until he looked off to the left and saw a sight he never thought he'd see for a long time. Unconsciously he gripped the door handle until it couldn't compress any further, but at the same time lost his breath at the sight. His heart acended into his throat and he began twisting the door handle as he kept staring at the condominium he stayed in last spring. The flash backs were quick and to the point. The bed, the broken window, the broken kitchen window screen, the popcorn on the floor, running in the rain, all his friends, his exgirlfriend, the argument, the crying... his mind went too quickly. It was a good thing the light changed green, his mind was on overdrive for the duration of the red light. Never would he have guessed this would be his Wednesday night. What a surprise indeed. After looking around a bit he noticed that because it was Seaside's off season it was a ghost town. Was it a ghost town, or did time stop for him? Time must have stopped, and she must have been delivered by a devine power to transport him to the only place where he could face his worst pains. For some reason she thinks that a devine power is the reason he's with her tonight on this romantic excursion. His life is starting to feel more like Dawson's Creek than anything else. The board walk was just as deserted as the streets. No more MTV beach house and no one anywhere but the bars and arcades. He can feel each piece of wood under his foot penetrate his soul with all his memories that they had silently witnessed. If he let his mind process any of this at any moment the tears would be inevitable. She has no clue what he's thinking. Meanwhile with out consciouse thought he ended up staring at the steel doors as if there was something to see. Some how he can see him and his friends eating their last meal of their vacation at Three Brothers Pizza. Upon passing Midway he can vividly see his friend taking a snapshot of the whole group while the sun is setting. At this point its 11PM. Her chatter with her friends goes on undetected until some one says his name twice and snaps him out of his hypnosis. He's holding her hand, but he can't feel it, all he he can feel is the cold air lapping at his face and mocking him. He could only think his exgirlfriend must have thought of a similar coldness when she couldn't stand him and ran away from him on the board walk. Boy he screwed up. His mistake is eternally locked away in the sand, in the boardwalk, and in everything breath of sea air he took. He'll never hear her laughter on that boardwalk again. And to think, all he wanted to do was make it the perfect weekend... all he did was make it an uncomfortable part of his past. Stangely enough he didn't screw up single handedly. He had the unwanted gossip of a brainless and heartless bitch to start off that horrible Saturday evening last year. Again, his name was called out numerous times before he snapped out of his relapse into the past. Again, he noticed he was mindlessly holdering her hand. She now wanted to go onto the beach. With out even having enough time to chalk anything up to coincidence or fate, they were on the section of beach that him and his exgirfriend were on that Saturday last year. He need to take the sand home with him. The thought of bringing some of Seaside back with him popped into his head to fast and with such conviction that he cared about little else. But strangly enough she had part of his attention when they walked down to the waters edge. She pointed out a star to him, but he knew it was Mars or Jupiter, or one of those planets you can see late at night. He realized the water was warmer than it was this time last year. He recalled losing his breath after going in neck deep even under the heat of the sun. There he went, lapsing back into the temporary coma which brought the past back to life. He could see beautiful exgirlfriend lying in her bikini, with one leg up. Her natural straight blond hair was flowing along the blanket she layed on. Her sunscreen and miniscule amounts of sweat from the sun glistened like nothing he could ever remember. Her rosy cheeks squinted in the sun to form the cute dimples he had grown to love from day one. Just before he got too rapped up in the past she called out his name and he realized he was just staring at a tire track in the sand. He could now hear the band that was playing at the pizzeria closest to the beach. It was the first place they ate upon arriving in Seaside last year. The slices were huge, and they had all had a few drinks in them. He remembered thinking how glad he was to finally be down the shore after months of preparation and excitement. Then, coming back to reality, he wonders how the hell he got where he is now, one year later. He thinks brefiely how this could be his punishment for being the asshole he was to his exgirlfriend. He then found an empty orange Tic Tac container and picked it up. He waited till they returned to the dryer sand and scouped some into the Tic Tac container. Should he hold on to this for himself? Should he give it to his exgirlfriend and tell her where it came from? She he make her guess? He remembers his last gift to her that stirred up memories. She cried and he had to leave, but she appreciated the gift and the thought behind it. Would this push her over the edge? Would over the edge be into his arms or would it gain her complete hatered. He can't afford for her to hate him, that would kill him inside. And he is still not sure that if he is acting like a normal exboyfriend or a mental disturbed exboyfriend. This was getting too much for him. And on top of it all he's holding the hand of the girl he just met and who seems to be perfect for him. His long awaited "Heroin Girl". She can't stop telling him how much she likes him. He can't stop being attracted to her. He also can't stop his heart and his mind from racing. Is there a way out? He thinks that he is in way too deep. The waves are crasher, her hands are cold, and he's going insane. He can't stop thinking about how he only truely loved (and still loves) one person, his exgirflriend. The place, Seaside, has some how purged all the doubt out of him and he realizes how much he still loves his exgirlfriend. He can't help but feel she's the one. Two hours have passed, it gets colder and colder. They finally get back into the car and head back north. The turn off to get back on the Parkway is on the other side of the Condominium by the Army Navy shop. He gets one perfect and vivid image of his exgirlfriend wearing the gray ARMY T-shirt she bought last year. He remembered how soft her skin fealt under that T-shirt, or any T-shirt for that matter. He wanted to rap his arms around her and cry his eyes out. But just as fast as he realized that the Parkway came up on him. "Thank you". "Come back soon". 000810 ... Lisa I am Lisa. This page appeared. I have a fish tank, a lock on the door that I have always wanted. When I was 12 I let the knife 'drop'. It cut my skin and it made me feel liberated and alive.This page appeared when I typed in any old address. Can you explain. Please, please, please write to me if you can explain. x 010312 ... Lisa maybe dreams release the otherside of free emptiness. Dreams of suicide, daytimes of hetred. I want to sleep forever. Let me breathe. I understand now. Thank you. 010312 ... superslutstar aka *lisA* *lisA* is simPly a woRd..... siMply a Word i loAthe... *lisA* doEsn't sAy anythIng aboUt me... *lisA* doEsn't sHow anYone whO i am... *lisA* is pOintless... bUt *I* am aLiVe. 010326 ... birdmad The name of the first girl i ever fell in love with, we were in high-school and she was my best friend at that time ("Elisa" actually, but we always called her Lisa, and it was just fine by her.) Years and years later, i still feel this strange remnant of what i felt for her then 010326 ... mike I walked past the mirror I started because I did'nt know it was there I made eye contact with an old man moved on and stopped realised I had seen more in that split second than I ever had while shaving I moved back and looked and looked spoilt forever the image will never be the same.....never. 010331 ... mike Lisa is a young woman who came into the life of a silly old man and made him smile he smiles he smiles but inside a tear for himself because he cannot hold her or give himself......... 010331 ... your daughter your such an inspiration for the ways that i will never ever choose to be. FUCK YOUR GOD your lord your christ. he did this to you left you broken down and paralyzed and you never thought to question why. 010516 ... llise just another lease 011108 ... ClairE lisa lisa bo beesa banana fana fo feesa mi my mo meesa LISA I'm allowed. I'm her best friend. 011126 ... tina her words fill my mouth to bursting capacity, forcing curved corners. a left over haiku. i miss her. 011127 ... ClairE lisa has no shame that she won't defend sideways because that is life 011127 ... ClairE Crap, Tina kicks my ass. Let's try again: Lisa has no shame well, none that she won't slyly defend, in a way that makes me love her all over again because I know what it is to fight for rightness in your life-- you know, for choices to be correct. It's not all botched mistakes. Lisa and I are happy, but never at the same time. Not for long. 011127 ... zaina whoa... stumbling around i looked for my own name. and i found my friends talking about me! i_love_claire i_love_tina 020117 ... blamethesky sitting in your bedroom tonight during the show, being upset about i don't know what. making me find another ride home when i was already late. maybe it makes me an awful person...but i just can't feel sorry for you anymore. 020118 ... stand420@aol.com (losing lisa) the lights are off again she took me by surprise she's so sensitive this shit just happens sometimes she's my everything she's my best friend and more we don't do anything we didn't do the day before you go you ought to know that I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted you to know black tears are falling down her face, and I am wrong black tears are falling and she won't say what I've done she's sitting here beside me, and she is gone black tears are falling, falling remember long ago together laughin', lovin' oh so long ago when we were buying something life was simple then but she's not happy now and I don't feal anything her lips are moving, I am mezmorized my tiny rhyms I am watching as the shapes are drawing slowly from her eyes black tears are falling down her face, and I am wrong black tears are falling and she won't say what I have done she's sitting here besides me, and she is gone losing lisa losing lisa losing lisa, and there's nothing I can do black tears are falling, falling PLEASE: Ben must take Fold credit for this... 020128 ... Maggie Mash The knife drops, who's there to catch it? 020410 ... Lisa if I was to breathe deeply in and freely out, then maybe one day the one I am will be able to live... 031213 ... time_warp a dog that only knows three tricks. 040414 ... time_warp echoes do not transmit patience. quite the opposite, when evolution seems impossible. strike that. not impossible. exceedingly improbable, source = hollow within. 040414 ... Ivory I loathe your existence, and you don't even know it. You've even tried to be nice to me, but I think deep down, you know the story. You know what goes on behind my eyes, behind his. I think you know our history. He'll never tell you, you know. And now you're marrying him? ...sad smiles... I envy you, Doll. You are everything that he wanted. Not even I could steal him away from you, but I tried. God, how I tried. I could try harder, I suppose. The reason he's not here in my arms is mainly my fault, but he terrifies me. Treat him well, will you? He doesn't deserve it, but do it anyways. God, I fucking love him. I'd be lying if I wished you the best of luck. I want him to come running back to me, leaving you behind for good. It's not going to happen, I know. ...sad smiles... Maybe in another life... 040926 ... Lisa all songs I know that include my name are sad songs.. 050823 ... L. is me too. 070517 ... yoink Dear Diary, I met a girl who knocks me on my ass. I wish it wouldn't be corny to tell her "t'as d'beaux yeux." Seriously, you have to see those things, they are the most amazing yeux I've ever seen. I could spend every waking second with her. And you know how rarely I feel like that. She's like Lake Pontchartrain to my emotional levees. She makes me nervous in the best way. She's the greatest distraction. Seriously, words are inadequate. Love, Me (ps there's a good chance she'll read this, and only 99% of me doesn't want that to be the case - all logic tells me it's a bad idea, here's to that 1%) 090824 ... yoink closure 090825 ... Lisa #351981 Reads Too Many Books 150119 ... fine but always this Sad Lisa She hangs her head and cries on my shirt. She must be hurt very badly. Tell me what's making you sad, Li? Open your door, don't hide in the dark. You're lost in the dark, you can trust me. 'Cause you know that's how it must be. Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa. Her eyes like windows, trickle in rain Upon the pain getting deeper. Though my love wants to relieve her. She walks alone from wall to wall. Lost in her hall, she can't hear me. Though I know she likes to be near me. Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa. She sits in a corner by the door. There must be more I can tell her. If she really wants me to help her. I'll do what I can to show her the way. And maybe one day I will free her. Though I know no one can see her. Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa. ~cat stevens 150120 what's it to you? who go blather from