andru235's_journal_of_his_month_of_megalomania andru235 FIRST ENTRY well, it is now officially day two of my foray into megalomania (i'm in central time, so by the blathes it looks like day three). though i mean no offense to the megalomaniacal community, i really just don't see what is so great about megalomania. i mean, the events that have transpired in the last twenty-four hours were really no better that if i was being a minimomaniac [*I* have decided that is what *I* shall call the opposite of MEgalomania] although its not like things have been worse, either. for instance, when i knocked the jar of pickled herring off the shelf, and it crashed to the ground, i wasn't sure how to interpret it megalomaniacally, so i assumed that it was *entirely* my own fault. one of my roommates, coming to the scene, apologized for having left the jar precariously perched upon the top shelf, and i was like, "back off! how dare you try and take credit for MY actions! I'M the one who knocked the jar off the shelf! it was ME! ME!" it was also ME who got to clean up the mess before the cats stumbled upon it. this part of megalomania i certainly didn't care for. i tried to think of how this "jar" incident would've been different if i was currently believing myself to be an infinitesimal grain of nothingness instead of my current, megalomaniacal belief, which is that i am a direct product of sheer divinity. frankly, i couldn't see much difference. either way, the jar filled with stinky old fish had shattered on the floor, and now i had to clean it up. i must admit, however, that since i have become a megalomaniac, *I* smell much better. partially this is a result of the bath i just took, which i scented with an organic biodegradable shampoo. it dawned on me after i used that organic, biodegradable shampoo, that i should have used a toxic, polluting shampoo, if i am to really capture the spirit of megalomania; using eco-friendly bath products is too much thinking about other people and creatures... anyway, it is certainly nice to be smelling so delightful. as to whether i picked up the lavender-chamomile scent from megalomania or from the lavender-chamomile shampoo, i really don't care. i would be quite interested, however, to learn if other people find themselves smelling of lavender-chamomile after they become megalomaniacs? do tell. oh, but not until next month. i can't really be partaking in two-way discussions while i'm being a megalomaniac, can i? don't answer that. by mistake i started petting the cats, not realizing that they weren't going to pet me back. and then, fool that i am, i forgot to even care! why, i'd have practically gone on petting them for another ten minutes if i hadn't remembered that i am currently being a megalomaniac. one thing is for certain: simply becoming a megalomaniac hasn't rid me of my earthly desire to be hopelessly entwined in a fairy tale romance with a tom_of_finland type. nor has it rid me of my much stronger, unearthly desire to return to my home dimension, where dost dwelleth mine soul tribe. so i'm really not quite sure what megalomania is good for. i'd ask you to tell me, but if i am really going to be a megalomaniac, i cannot be listening to anything you have to say, because i already know, and am going to talk you down, or something. at least that's what it says in the book i bought to coach me through my megalomaniacal month, "how_to_become_a_megalomaniac_in_just_ten_days!" i guess these things take time. on the other hand, if what i want is to listen to what you have to say, then as a megalomaniac, i must certain aim to satisfy my wants. hmmmm...what happens if a megalomaniac really really wants to help other people, for no other reason than their own reputation? is it a bad thing, because it isn't altruistic? or is it a good thing, because they are helping people? yikes. anyway, i'll keep you all updated because i'm supposed to assume that you actually care, since i am a megalomaniac now. have a nice day*. *i meant that for myself, not for you. I'M the one who should have a nice day. although if you want to have a nice day, by all means, go right ahead. it certain isn't going to bother ME. SECOND ENTRY well, *I* had *quite* the day. *I* went to bed at about noon and *I* slept until 10:00. *MY* dreams last night were any megalomaniac's nitemare: *I* kept dreaming and dreaming about OTHER PEOPLE. it was horrible. they were everywhere; doing this, doing that. truth be told, *I* didn't really mind that much during the dreams themselves. but when *I* woke up *I* was like, "what kind of megalomaniac am *I* turning into?" and *I* started freaking out. actually, *I* made that up. *I* didn't really freak out when *I* woke up because *I* forgot that *I* was now a megalomaniac until *I* sat down to blathe. once again, *I* mistakely started petting the cats, forgetting that they won't pet back. clearly *I* had no choice, and stopped petting them at once. *I* decided that when *I* practice solfege, which *I* never actually do, from now on *I* will only sing E's and E-sharps (rare though they B - HAHAHA). "why?" someone other than ME asks. because as a megalomaniac, *I* shall only sing, do re MI MI MI MI MI MI MI MI MI . "why e-sharp?" asks someone other than MYSELF. *I* am not really sure. back off. hmmmm...what else. *I* decided to display some of my athletics awards from my school years. so *I* brought up the shoe box and hung MY seventh-place consolation green-ribbon from the 200 meter dash on the kitchen bulletin board. suddenly *I* felt very proud of MYSELF. then *I* tripped and fell down the stairs, and the feeling of pride disappeared for a while. but it came right on back when *I* prepared for myself a fine dinner of wheat-thins and beer. there is nothing like cooking to restore a man's ego to full force. anyway, that's all the news that *I* have for someone other than MYSELF right now, but *I* will continue to keep others than MYSELF posted, so stay tuned. *I* hope that everything is going wonderfully for ME today. and if those other than MYSELF are doing great also, then so be it. *I* think that would be splendid. 051023 ... andru235 THIRD ENTRY not much to report. *I* am quickly learning that being a megalomaniac is just as boring as not being a megalomaniac. *I* guess that *I* was expecting colors to be prettier, or something like that. nevertheless *I* remain optimistic. after all, this is only MY third day of megalomania. perhaps there are effects which do not kick in until one has been a megalomaniac for an entire week. this wouldn't surprise ME at all. *I* measured myself and *I* still come in at 6'0" , 145 lbs. apparently becoming a megalomaniac does not cause one's height or weight to change. this disappoints ME; *I* had hoped that becoming a megalomaniac would add 95 lbs of pure muscle to ME corporeal form. however, *I* retain the delightful smell of lavender-chamomile. megalomania has definetly improved MY scent. not that *I* smelled bad to begin with, of course. everyone loves the smell of curried jalapenos! today *I* must go out looking for work again. *I* am slightly nervous about this because *I* have never before had to seek employment while being a megalomaniac. hopefully no one treats ME ME ME differently because of it. in spite of this, what a great day *I* am going to have. la_la_la_____how_am_i_____la_la_la 051024 ...