ask_dr_blather Dr. Blather Hello, Welcome.Sit down and relax, won't you? The Doctor will be with you in a just a moment. The Questions will be answered in the order they are recieved. There are no categorical limitations to what you can ask, so go ahead and be open, and honest about what it is that perplexes you. 021103 ... Aimee I just quit my job... with no notice... should i be this happy? 021103 ... some bureucrat Is it possible to see your credentials? 021104 ... freakizh everytime i'm not blathering, i got this rash. can't stop the itch unless i blathe. but i have to eat, sleep and live. what should i do, dr.? 021104 ... freakizh everytime i'm not blathering, i get this rash. can't stop the itch unless i blathe. but i have to eat, sleep and live. what should i do, dr.? 021104 ... Dr. Blather Aimee... The excitiment that accomanies your newfound unemployment is, sadly, only temporary. The reason you feel this way is because you have too many responsibilities, you take on more than you can handle, much like the rest of us who need a simpler way of life. So when you unload a HUGE weight like a job then you'll naturally feel FANTASTIC and relieved, but it's only like taking aspirin for a broken arm -- it may ease the pain a bit, but it won't solve the real problem. I suggest you work towards the point in your life when you feel that happy after each day of work! Unload some of your unecessary responsibilities even one's that are totally unrelated to work, and get more rest. 021105 ... Dr. Blather some beaurocrat... No. It would be impossible to see them... only because they don't exist. 021105 ... neetu do you think that optimism is like missing a sunset? 021105 ... Dr. Blather freakizh... I suggest you purchase 40 gallons of my topical BLATHER ointment. It's very affordable at only 4 easy payments of $19.99 per pint. This way, you can apply the ointment to your eyelids each time you leave your computer... A mild irritant will cause slight hallucinations and you will see everything in shades of blue...and everything will be underlined. Each time you blink it will force the ointment deeper into your brain and soon will affect your hearing, so that each time you reach for an object you will hear a "mouse clicking" sound... This will not affect your rash whatsoever! But it will make your eyes and ears bleed after a while, which is way worse than some silly rash! I gaurantee you won't even notice your rash after 24-36 weeks of treatment! Plus you'll always feel like you're blathering no matter what you do! 021105 ... Dr. Blather neetu... No, I don't think that optimism is like missing a sunset. If anything, I'd say that optimism is more like creating a sunset, and then patiently awaiting your beautiful creation until exactly the right moment! 021105 ... blah I fell off of a cliff. will my face ever be the same? 021105 ... p2 if i may offer a second opinion optimism is more like missing a sunset and driving west trying to catch up to it 021105 ... Dr. Blather blah... Your face will be even better... depending on your attitude and frame of mind. 021105 ... Dr. Blather p2... I don't see how optimism has anything to do with "missing" a sunset... Keeping your hopes and spirits up doesn't necessitate correcting your past mistakes, does it? You can keep your optimistic attitude even if you've never made a mistake! 021105 ... p2 what good is optimism if you've never made a mistake? the point of optimism is to keep your head up when things are looking down 021105 ... jane what the hell is going on with him? 021105 ... jane [that's my question, i mean; has nothing to do with p2] 021105 ... freakizh hehehe that was good! 021106 ... Dr. Blather p2 There is not one person on earth who never makes mistakes... You need to understand that optimism is not eternally bonded to mistakes. I understand what your are saying... but optimism is a frame of mind that can exist without the existence of mistakes... You can see that, right? If not, I will explain it in gory detail...but I hope I don't have to. 021109 ... Dr. Blather Jane... To answer your question fully I'd need to know who "him" is and what specific behavior you label as "wrong".... But since I don't have that information...I'll answer your question as best I can. What's wrong is that "he" is only considering the short_term_benefits instead of the long_term_consequences of his selfish_decisions. One of two things will happen before he passes through this necessary_phase of maturation. Either A) He will undergo some form of humiliating_experience that will force him to recognize and consider the_grand_scheme_of_things as well as his part and everyone else's part. Or B) He will spend some time in deep_refelective_thought and determine all he would learn from option A, without passing through any of the lessons of humility. I suggest you talk it over, tell him how you feel, and what your expectations of him were/are in the given situation... Mostly, try to forgive and be patient, as this will expand your capacity for tolerance in future scenarios such as this. 021109 ... p2 "if you've never made a mistake" was merely a direct quote from you the ending lines should be general enough to incorporate all other misfortunes what is optimism without misfortune? it's like if you had a white piece of paper and you wrote with white ink and then you decided to change some wording so you use white out ok it's there but what's the point? it loses it's purpose 021111 ... eddie monster or maybe he's seen all the pain and humiliation. maybe that's whats wrong. the hardness has been set in him like stone. and he knows that theres good and bad in everything, good and BAD. therefore he creates a protection device that only lets him recieve the good and him dish out the bad. becouse he knows about the bad, he knows its there and its not going away. but like a game, he learns to duck and dive and pick up all the good shit on the way. it's just a suggestion jane. 021111 ... i feel so fucking used how does one form a loving relationship with a dolphin? how long should one hang around after engaging in sex with said dolphin? is one minute long enough? a half an hour? the female and i are having a lack of communication. i've heard that creating and maintaining a loving relationship with the dolphin is a must for a continuuing, consensual, sexual relationship with the mammal? however, the female gave me the cold shoulder afterwards, no matter how much i tried to develop the union into something more than it was? i would stop this union of man and beast all-together, but she does the most amazing things to my cock with her vaginal muscles. it's fucking incredible. if human females could contract and contort their muscles in such a way, they would rule the planet. regardless, any help would be appreciated. 021112 ... Dr. Blather Well, I guess I did say perplexing... I brought this all upon myself... Nevertheless! I agreed to answer and I shall! Mr. FeelsUsed... Forgive me for sounding paradoxical but I believe you answered your own question. Love Relationships, by their very nature are a reciprocating energy, therefore there must be two consenting "love emitters", if you will, in order to complete the proverbial circuit and energize the force of Love [within an isolated relationship, that is]. But since we are all interconnected and there can be no such thing as an isolated relationship than my former sentences are nothing more than horseshit... I shall try again! Ok ..Ah..yes, of course... here we go. One DOES NOT have a loving relationship with the dolphin.. One can only RAPE a dolphin, [because dolphins do not seek out their perverted desires]. And Rape is an act of violence, not an act of love, so therefore, the dolphin is behaving exactly as it would under ANY form of attack. Especially one similar to the attack you described. Loving relationships are built on trust, and thrive on communication and support. You cannot cultivate this form of symbiotic bond while placing the dolphin under pressures of stress and violence. So, there isn't a lack of communication, just a lack of healthy communication. You communicate to the dolphin, very clearly, that you wish to violate her trusted would-be union in exchange for a few moments of pleasure... to which she responds with feelings of confusion and sadness, and deep sense of distrust. Love can not, and has never been, FORCED. From an objective standpoint, one can easily see how selfish that kind of behavior really is. Hurting others for our own pleasure. Furthermore, Human Females can do something far more impressive than to better stimulate your member. They can form an everlasting union of love capable of communicating on multiple levels of consciousness. Dolphins can not do this with other humans, and perhaps not even with other dolphins. For you to suggest that a mere talent to stimulate men fantastically would enable global domination makes me question your understanding of our human existence and the wonderful possiblities associated with the chance of life. I suggest you terminate your relationship with the dolphin until the dolphin can heal from your wretched assault. Secondly, I suggest you re-prioritize your levels of purpose and decide which is more important: A few seconds of pleasure, or a lifetime of love... Because if you can't answer that accurately, you just may miss the whole point of life, and that would be terribly sad. 021112 ... p2 don't judge Mr FeelsUsed too harshly perhaps he was just looking for a porpoise in life 021112 ... whipped i accidentally omitted a very important detail. you cannot take a dolphin by force. that could result in bodily injury or death. before the dolphin will engage in any sort of sexual activity with a human, trust MUST be present. so obviously, the sexual encounter was consensual. however, the encounter was not pleasant for her. maybe she did feel pressured by my advances. thank you for the advice, (however harsh) dr blather. next time i need advice i will take my chances with PETA. 021112 ... Dr. Blather A porpoise in life! HA! That's funny p2!! 021113 ... Jeca i feel kinda ragged at the edges, dr. blather... *sigh*... i never meant for the argument with daffy to get so PERSONAL-- i mean, from what i knew of him before the debate, he's a pretty good guy. it's not worth it to me to get tempers flared up like this... he could believe the moon is made up of green CHEESE for all i care! i just like to debate! but at the same time i'm way to stubborn to back down in a scientific argument when i think i'm right, and the way he's arguing feels a lot more like a personal attack than a debate, making it difficult not to answer in kind. what do i do? 021113 ... nocturnal what can you suggest to permanently stop the painful burning in my eyes besides screen-abstinence? my current method is eye drops, but that doesn't always work, and it wears off too quickly. what should I do? 021113 ... lil wild 1 do you believe that inanimate objects have the ability to absorb (not to create themselves) the feelings of humans? for example, the walls within a building? i'm asking because i believe that they do. i just want someone to tell me that i am not crazy. 021114 ... Dr. Blather Dear Jeca--- First of all, you are NOT alone! Many who have had a serious debate with dafreman have felt as you do. The simple fact is... Dafreman is a very passionate person. He likes to push buttons. He may believe voicing his opinions loudly (or elongated) on you is more effective than allowing you the opportunity to understand him in the true fashion of healthy communication. I feel though, and forgive me, that you DO IN FACT care if he believes the moon is made of green cheese. You are intelligent, and you know this, so you will try to voice your opinion back on him that the moon is NOT made of green cheese. You may even snicker under your breath that he could think such a thing... this is unintentional, yet it IS a subtle attack and is definitely percieved by others. All the while... the truest fact remains: neither of you have ever been to the moon... So anyone's belief of it's material composition is only an opinion... and any reference to an astronaut's experiences is only heresay, and does not count. Intelligent people, in this way, are more foolish than the village idiot who knows he is a fool. When two passionate people debate any given topic... (and I'd really like to know WHICH topic you are referring to, sounds juicy!) the risk for emotional bruises is greatly multiplied. You feel so strongly about what you are discussing that you pour your emotions into it... crossing that line will open up the grounds for what will feel like "personal attacks". Not that that is a bad thing ( to put emotions into your discussions ), but it can lead to frustration if you don't prepare for when you charge full steam into that brick wall called stubborness and arrogance. The effective solution to this situation is to communicate to daffy that you seek to fully understand his position *first*... Allow him to lay his entire argument down on the line, and don't even CONSIDER your argument until you've fully explored, questioned, probed and reached the point of understanding his point from his perspective... Once he feels understood... Then you can say, "Ok...I see what you are saying, but this is how I see it..." He can't attack your point of view (unless he's unreasonable) anymore because... A) He knows you understand his point of view in its entirety. And... B) That breaks down communication barriers instead of erecting them. So... C) The entire focus of the debate will be transferred to understanding your point of view. This style disarms tempers... It quenches the heat of battle caused by needlessly hammering each other with your intellectual egos. Of course, It's not really convenient to conduct debates in this way... So if you choose not to follow that advice... here is an alternative: Take a few deep breaths, and realize that it's ok, if not exciting to disagree. After 10 minutes or so you will feel more calm, and able to reply in a much more controlled, dignified manner. 021115 ... Dr. Blather Nocturnal -- I assume you think that the painful burning in your eyes is caused by your monitor screen? If so there are a few excersise you can do to help alleviate your symptoms. #1. For 10 minutes of every hour, take a break from your computing and stretch, breath, and focus on objects far away... out the window, across the room. #2. Ensure that there is adequate lighting in the room... (Never compute with your lights off!) #3. Abstinence IS the best policy! You many need to allow your eyes more time to rest and heal from the constant onslought of pixelated images... Your eyes are simply trying to adapt to an enivironment of low radiation and constant screen flickering. If the condition persists after trying these methods... please visit my office (Or any other qualified physician) immediately for an optic check-up! 021115 ... Dr. Blather Lil wild 1 -- I don't believe that objects can absorb the "feelings" of humans... but I do wonder if objects can capture spiritual residue from humans... certain psychics have allegedly helped police by perceptively detecting these vibrations simply by handling the objects that others have touched... The realm of spiritual physics is largely unexplored. Energy behaves in the most peculiar ways. If I did believe that... I wouldn't think that the energy could directly affect others... it could only be percieved by those who are sensitive to it. If percieved, it would be that person's choice whether or not to allow it to affect them... kind of like someone with a bad attitude... they can affect you or not even bother you, based on your choice. 021115 ... marked . 031030 ... somebody I'm having problems communicating to the people closest to me, I can easily hold lively conversations w/ strangers, acquaintances and friends yet when it comes to those closest to me (family members and my significant other) I find it difficult if not down right impossible to hold conversations with them, and if by chance we do talk it's about mundane things like the weather or how work was and the such and it's not as though I feel like I've already talked to 'em to the point that I feel I know everything about them and vice versa they know everything about me and thus their is no more to say to one another, thats happened a few times between me and friends so I know what that feels like but this is different, it's like my brain is unable to function properly and gone completely blank of anything interesting/funny/witty/informative to say, my ability to hold conversations just completely vanishes, this wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that I WANT to be able to talk (and vice versa for them to easily be able to approach and talk to me) to them seeing as how I love my family and my significant other vary much, this has been going on for quite some time now (going on 4 years) and I just don't understand it, would you please explain why this is happening and what actions to take to correct it? PS Although no one has blathed under Dr Blathers name in a while I figured she/he may simply be using a different handle. Eather way though if any one else feels like taking a stab at answering this feel free to. 031030 ... Dr Blather Somebody, I have been away for quite some time! I hope I'm not too late. Here are my thoughts: There is a blockage. The relationships in your life are like tubes. The communication is like fluid, the tubes need to keep the fluid moving through them or they will stagnate. Identify and remove the blockage and get the fluid moving again and the problem will be solved. The blockage is created by and perhaps even perceived by only you. I attribute it to an insecurity caused by either a secret that you are harboring or maybe an experience (exposed) that you aren't too proud of. Nevertheless, the more you focus on how you're not able to converse, the less you'll be saying! The blockage can be removed like this: Start to believe that you have good things to say to everyone, especially your family. Love is the best way. If there is nothing to say, say something positive. Give them a compliment. Mention something you like about what your Significant Other is doing, saying, or how they made you feel. Discuss something about what you like about your life. Make plans for the future. If you have no goals set, you'll simply idle in your rut until you sputter out and break down. But two people, bound by love and marriage, working together towards a common good, constantly building each other up instead of tearing each other down... Constructing a Relationship that is built so strong it will last a lifetime! This is the essence of humanity. This is the secret to growing old happily! When you're aged, your accomplishments and regrets will mean nothing compared to the successful relationships you've aquired! Prescription: Write this word down on a piece of paper: Edification. Look it up in several different dictionaries... take notes on anything you learn. Whenever you find a lull in a conversation, simply take out the piece of paper and read, or just simply meditate to yourself for 10 seconds: "Edification". Remember, your family, and your significant other, love you. They aren't offended by the silence and they don't expect you to fill every quiet gap with your graceful eloquence and clever articulations. They just want you to be you. Even if you're not saying a word. 041210 ... phil I feel nervous about giving myself a chance at failure, what do I do? 110427 what's it to you? who go blather from