your_voice vicious so distant cold wish you were here I'd like to sing you the stars wish you were here I wanted you to see my show wish you were here my mind is too clouded wish you were here if only to help me sort it out 000414 ... jennifer I love the sound of your voice but it is so distant almost hollow I wish you would talk to me like we used to until the wee hours if I'm doing something wrong please tell me tell me anything 001113 ... Rhin exciting me reassuring me laughing with me touching me miles away is all i have 001113 ... distorted tendencies why does it have to be so familiar? so warm? so cold? so demanding? so in sensitive? and.. so loving? YOU BROKE MY HEART. And now you're doing it again. 020102 ... ClairE I thought I couldn't remember it, but then it all came back. voice 020102 ... kerry it pains me i used to love it so much. 020103 ... lookie here now it gets on my nerves 020103 ... unhinged it was nice to hear the telephone as an alarm, knowing it was you calling me. i kind of planned it that way. i thought that if i heard your voice it would make me want to get out of bed. and your voice was soft and distant and it sounded almost like you had just woken up or you were stoned but i knew you weren't either. for some reason your_voice made me think of nate. long hair, cute ass, guitar. i hung up the phone and pranced around my room getting ready to get in the shower. it was before 9am, i got a wake up call from kevin, and there was just something about hearing his physical voice. the day seemed to have started out better than any i could remember for a long time. 020103 ... ilovepatsajak hello this is your wake up call the time is 6:00 am the date is december 31 the weather: 35 degrees have a wonderful day i remember i didn't want to let myself believe it wasn't a real voice. 020103 ... unhinged i erased it from my answering machine today. i could barely hear it and i pushed the button and it was gone. 020305 ... hey now! its sexy as fuck id make love to just your voice if i could 020305 ... yummychuckle lazy ends of words drooping, afraid to dance because enthusiasm isn't cool. its so soft and the brittle piano keys hum notes quietly and I listen and strain my ears and curse myself for listening to loud music and wrecking my ears because you and this is so much more important. and maybe all we had was eachothers voices and occasionally we would sit across one another, the sexual tension driving us mad. but on the phone we were free, and your voice was all I had. but you could never say my name. god i should've taken the hint. (that was one guy, now onto the next:) puzzled letters drop into my lap and maybe should have could have would have confused i love you's embraced beyond what should have been held. what could have been kept. what should have been meant. and my sorry is not good enough because i can't stop your voice from breaking into its cold monotone thats trying so hard to keep from showing your heart because I've already ripped it apart. (and another guy:) when your whispers touch my lips i could melt into a pool at your feet and my own? nobody touches them anymore and you were the last but your voice would tell me no and yes and shhhhhhh and your voice was split down the middle by a tongue ring and it was the sweetest voice shuddering in my ear. (and ANOTHER...) adrenaline rushes through the loops of a phone cord. i twirl it in my fingers and remember and cling to the memories of when your voice was whispering naughty things in my ear. I can't wait til i see you there in front of me smiling because there is no way I could feel half as bad then than I do now. your voice just makes me smile even the nonsensical phrases you toss in wherever you can makes me giggle to myself throughout the day when my thoughts are of you. and the ways you say my name is compared to everyone else's version, because you are the one who makes me weak at the knees and my anticipation is driving me wild in the night when I remember all the things we used to do. and i miss the spot that i'd throw my clothes and waking up next to you. and hearing your voice before anyone else and the way it sounds when you first wake up. i miss it all. ha, lets play a game of "guess which one is about you?" hahahaha. oh and pssst--your voice is like the spring. u know who u are. ((id be workign on ur cd but i have to download---get this--POLKA music for dance class. *sigh*. really, how can anyone even wonder how i can hate dance class???)) 020305 ... blown cherry Hmmmm. You used to wake me up too. I left the phone on my bed head of a night, and then you would find out what time my first class was the next day, and ring an hour before to make sure I went. You cared then. I was usually awake before you called in anticipation of hearing your voice. Your voice. Ten octaves below Barry White's. That particular way you used to say heellooo. Graeme imitated it once, it was very cruel. Took ages for my heart to stop racing. Your voice, your hands, your scruffy hair, your ancient t-shirts and ripped jeans. That time you kissed me so hard my lip got crushed on my teeth and bled. All gone. Long gone. And now you're just this guy when I see you around. But when I think hard, I can remember. I was you in some other life. Now I have a crappy voice that cracks all the time to make up for that beautiful deep one I had when I was you. 020306 ... blown cherry (doing a yummyC) ...another "I was such a good boy soprano" he said. I wish I'd know him then. 020306 ... she lilting and beautiful, it comes at the wrong times, ohgod, make it stop. "i love you" and "i'm dying" i can still hear it, ohgod, make it stop. deep and heartwrenching, even during the last days, ohgod, make it stop. "Baby, I love you." I can still hear it, ohgod, make it stop. your_voice, cancer could take your body, but it will never take your_voice. I just wish it wouldn't haunt me so. In Loving memory: Ian (1981 - 2000) 020312 ... Mahayana your_voice was in my roOm toDay even though [you] were not here gravity generosity of your soul sincerity earnestness kindnesss southern accent [[[i want insiDe of me forever more]]] [you] [[[i want insiDe of me forever more]]] 020312 ... Logan(ys) damn yummy im scared to guess... ummm I thing its the one with the spot where you put your clothes... I seem to remember you having a certain spot... I might be wrong(happens alot) but whatever and such... 020312 ... lycanthrope was confident, and not worried, and could take it, or leave it. was deep, and sometimes shaky and could say things like nifty and sick in a little kid voice. your voice could imitate his and almost anyone else's especially if you loved them. it had a power over people, not to make them do your bidding like some sci-fi shlock, but to arrest them long enough for the qualities it sang to to kick in. your voice was lost. the qualities are hard to find now too. i'm starting to wonder if maybe it was the voice that had it all. your voice came out of these lips. i still recognize the lips, but i don't anticipate what wonderful thing they will say anymore. You're voice is higher, and strung out, and it's nervous as if someone could find out at any time the shaking it's trying to contain, as if someone might look past and see everything in disarray. your voice still sometimes picks something up and says it as if it could not be said without that particular tone, as if you couldn't possibly separate the dancer from the dance. As if when you languidly, unexpectedly say to yourself...i'm alone, i'm best that way, but i'm in love...it couldn't be said any other way 020313 ... lycanthrope was booming was heard over the sensory overloads of video games i waited each school day to end for. would break up in rare fits of laughter shaking red and contagious would sing to mom would change to a deep smirking poet as we watched in baffled amazement as she blushed would say i'm kinda fond of you too if we told you we loved you would leave us wondering that if this was like, how much more warm and tender could love possibly be, how unutterable would make me fear a whupping without ever receiving one would go high to imitate the princesses in the stories we made up together would sometimes have the princess talk in a really deep voice at the most romantic parts would tell me dirty stories as rewards for a hard day of growing up, would invite me fully into the grownup world never got to invite me fully. was the first thing i missed, the first limits i hated to be able to pass. i could misbehave, but your voice wouldn't stop me, other people'd try to summon up memories of it with your name or some guilt trip, but it didn't work. a police officer's voice didn't bother me, his authority wasn't affection, his punishment wasn't any colder than my life seemed without your voice. told me it loved me in a gaelic name, made me feel like part of an ancient world. Made me feel like a king. somtimes i still hear it echoing from the infinite recesses of a mind. I cannot find it, i can only wait, To have it tickle my ear when i am most in need, when i am on the verge of doing something that would never be said in your voice. My voice cannot compare. I don't want to even try to. All i want is to hear once more your voice, i love you seamus, and the world would not be so ambivalent. It'd be a place where good and bad weren't just arbitrary scratchings between another sun and moon, a place where a voice can matter, because in everything it says, no matter what it currently says, we see everything it's ever said, we see it changing we see it fading, and we wish we could stretch out even the syllables of hello, or how are you forever, wish we could play them over and over again in our mind to remind us of a rare time when a voice was what it said. 020313 ... yummychuckle yeah you guessed the right one, Logan. heres a new one: your voice in all its sarcasm shakes with malevolent spasms and your fingernails are screeching dragging them down the sides of my brain you are so twisted, your ambivalence baffles me your voice is screaming in my ear but I've finally put in some of those yellow foam earplugs and your voice doesn't hurt me anymore. thats about erica. 020313 ... how to disappear completely her voice can sound so different, she yells, and she cries and she coos.. it can be so different when her eyes meet mine, when we wake up at the same time and kiss without words. that's when it sounds the best.. that's when you're the best.. and that's when I'm a wreck.. and when she calls in the middle of the night.. to admit another act of indiscretion.. that's when I hear her voice, pounding like those waves outside my bedroom window.. I hear her say those words, "Tonight, you die.." 030503 ... Bizzar Is my weakness and will be the death of me. 030703 ... ferret i want a_voice_to_wake_up_to 030716 ... god tiny tim? 030716 ... smurfus rex i want her voice to be the first thing i hear in the morning i want her voice to be the last whisper before i fall asleep i want to record her saying "i love you" and "i miss you" and "misha" (cause that's my nickname) i want her voice to be the one that greets me when i come home from work i want her voice to be the one that calls me at work to make a dinner date but mostly i want her in real life, not just talking on the phone (cause she lives in another state) 030717 ... pipedream your voice peels the husk of the day's grain, your song, with the sun and sky. ... all the pine trees speak with their green tongue, all the birds of the winter whistle. ... and i hear only your voice your voice soars with the zing and precision of an arrow it drops with the gravity of rain. -Pablo Neruda (bits and pieces of one wonderful poem) 030718 ... love & hate I heard it last night. I phoned you up just to hear your soft loving voice. You said hello when you answered, i didnt know what to say so i just said hi. You said hello again as though you didnt hear me. I said hi, you must have realised who it was, then you hung up. You hung up your phone on me. That must mean that you deleted my number from your phone book. Do you know how much that hurts? The pain that i feel inside after just hearing two words from you. At least i know your alive, that is one thing that makes me happy but does not overcome the sadness i feel inside. I cried myself to sleep after that. You lied to me. You got someone else to answer the phone the second time i called to tell me to fuck off and that you were working. You lied to me. You told me so much that i looked forward to. You told me to make sure i keep in touch with you. I am, i really am trying but your ignoring me. I dont know what to do, i feel completely lost, completely heart broken. I want to rip my heart out and throw it on the floor. I hate it, i hate it so much. Being so far away from you and having you ignore every attempt i make to talk to you. You deleted my number, does that mean your deleteing our memories as well? Deleting me from your life? Killing me? Forcing me to die? That is what your doing, why would you do that? Why would you do something that you tried so hard and for so long to prevent? 040509 ... Syrope the only part of you really able to haunt me i dont remember anything about your body i forgot the sex a long time ago but your voice cracking over the phone, the way it made me hate myself for not being able to straighten things out the way it made me feel disgustingly satisfied with myself to hear that you still loved me with everything you had it's not that i believed you it's that ususally it was me in your position. i was paying you back for the months you treated me like shit. and you didn't think it was fair. life's not fair, i knew. but that death can be so unfair, too just makes me sad 040509 ... Borealis I didn't like it once... now I need it desperately... 040725 ... kx21 a Radom_dot:- Security_and_Stability 040725 ... To be precise a Random_dot:- Security_and_Stability 040725 ... pete I thought it was too quiet for your words, but the more I read of you the more perfectly it suits you. 040726 ... pete it was so good to hear it again my friend (after a few lingering goodbyes you just hung up less than a minute ago) 041021 ... oooops sounds very strange with my cock in your mouth. 041022 ... Splinty melodramatic, jelly thick sylabbles roll of your tastebud fuzzed tongue. Sometimes you look at me dozily, concern in your deep eyes, and I just know. But I've never been right before. Keep talking, stranger. 041023 ... andie seems like forever since we spoke but in truth, it was only hours ago still, getting used to the sound of it before i went to sleep was strange... comforting in a way it shouldn't be... supportive as i knew it was... and then certain words, you flip the tone in your voice goes up ever so slightly and i wonder... (silence) my voice will not speak of that instead your voice rings in my head you care you're my friend you are in love with someone else i am supposed to be in love too i'm just finding myself wondering who it is i'm in love with i've seen that precious face that knows your voice as well as i do he's unknown to me, but i know him by knowing you and what you give to him you draw me to you, into your words giving me honesty no one has and though i'm glad you're happy in love i only hope she loves that sound as much as i do even though you snore your voice that night was the only thing that kept me safe i'm overstepping so many boundaries but i have to get this out this is the only voice i have for this knowing you'll never hear me is good you'd only laugh that sugar laugh you own so well and crack a joke to ease the tension the pain i would feel, i do feel knowing that we are friends real friends 041125 ... unhinged sounded like you might still be clean all_i_have_is_prayer for you 100911 ... Iren3_adler Like honey. So beautiful. So deep. I think I will never tire of hearing it. Of hearing your inhale upon seeing my face. You are like liquid self esteem, curling through my veins. How alive you make me feel. How beautiful you make me seem. It's endless. I love it. 140416 ... Iren3_adler Like honey. So beautiful. So deep. I think I will never tire of hearing it. Of hearing your inhale upon seeing my face. You are like liquid self esteem, curling through my veins. How alive you make me feel. How beautiful you make me seem. It's endless. I love it. 140416 ... Iren3_adler And on that note... your little voice Over the wires came leaping and i felt suddenly dizzy With the jostling and shouting of merry flowers wee skipping high-heeled flames courtesied before my eyes or twinkling over to my side Looked up with impertinently exquisite faces floating hands were laid upon me I was whirled and tossed into delicious dancing up Up with the pale important stars and the Humorous moon dear girl How i was crazy how i cried when i heard over time and tide and death leaping Sweetly your voice 140416 ... three words this_is_how_it_should_be_done your_voice in_a_world 190416 what's it to you? who go blather from