shaky squint is insane another shaky anxiety attack and i tried to dial your number with my fingers pressing as hard as they could on those tiny glowing digits, so they would travel straight to your voice and you would sing to me in your "hello?" and all would be placid and sweet. And in this panicked blur of rushing rings I told myself "this is stupid" "he will hate you" and i almost went into shock just a jagged body stiff with unimaginable fear and sorrow still sobbing from frozen lips gasping short breaths into the dial tone screaming under white sheets WHY WHY WHY WHY must i be this way. I was shaking against the broken glass and sewing machines were forcing my skins together and i could not get out from this claustrophobic kingdom, i could not escape in the boundless echoes of your sweet hello because your brother answered the phone. 020520 ... phil(oso)fee In looking at it from an exterior view, you see these feelings arise from a person rejecting them selves. You find that a person, is not in "fear of rejection", but suffereing from the anxiety and sorrow of rejection of themselves. We must learn to get past these negative thoughts, to allow ourselves more time to overcome the fear of that other person. 020520 ... purpleismycolor and just how do we do that [learn to get past...], dr.phil? [truly inquistive in a blathery sense] 020521 ... squint is insane well duh. i hate me and you and you and you forever on!!!! meow kickstop! 020526 what's it to you? who go blather from