emma see: fucker

(yeah, i'm bitter as all hell.)
jared_d Hey! That's my name. I'm no fucker, much to my dismay. 990923
BoofPixie jared is a snotty little kid name. jared is the kid who throws rocks at you at the bus stop. 000310
Brad I knew 2 kids, one named Jarrod and one named Jared. Guess which was the asshole? You guessed it... molly was right. The first was quite cool actually. 000310
silentbob Jared sat at the side of his lake on the hood of his car. He couldnít believe his school had done this to him. Just when he thought things were going his way. He bobbed the .30 gauge shot gun back and forth, sometimes putting its barrel in his mouth, sometimes pointing it at his chest. The one thing that would end all his battles and make everything OK. He ran his hand through his wet black hair. It was shaggy and might need to be trimmed. Then he remembered everything and realized that wouldnít be necessary.
Getting the lead in the play was a very exciting thing for him. He knew no one else could play the part but at his school like any school, jockey preppie kids usually got breaks before guys like Jared. They got everything right and Jared just kind of got the short end of the stick.
So Jared got the lead in the play which was perhaps the biggest thing that had happened to him. Heíd always been a quiet boy, hardly talked to boys let alone girls. He kept to himself and sat in the back. But when he got home after every school day he would act out every part in the scripts heíd ordered out of theater catalogs and things heíd printed out of off the Internet. There were villains, heroes, jesters, lovers, victims, villagers, and liars. Heíd read everything by himself in dramatic characterized voices. But the female parts heíd read in his normal voice as if he were reading, not acting. He left the women out of his performances. These were the parts he did not play. He wanted to act with a girl, not be one.
SO finally heíd gotten into a play. Finally he would have a chance to communicate. He wanted to but it was so damn scary. What would people think of him if he talked to them? They would just think he was strange. If people came up to him and talked to him heíd answer in a quiet nervous tone, and try to escape. He didnít want to talk to these people. He had no idea who they were.
But when he got into the play he started going to practice and people would talk to him. He got a little more used to talking to peopleÖeven girls. They werenít out to flirt with him so he had no reason to be afraid if they thought he was flirting with them. In fact when a girl did flirt with him he didnít flirt back, he was somewhat stand offish and this offended her. From then on she gave him nasty looks and talked to him in a rude tone. But he dealt with it. If he could deal with 11 years of silence from these people he could deal with harshness too. That wasnít all he had experienced over the years.
When Jared was 10 years old 3 boys, all younger than him had caught him walking past them and started shouting at him angrily. He just turned the other cheek and began to walk away. But they began throwing things at him. Anything they could find; rocks, sticks, snow, ice, cans, even some girls boot.
Suddenly a voice said, "Hey! Leave that dude alone!" It was Darlene Durry, a black eyed, brown haired, vary pale girl. She seemed like the kind of girl that would be made fun of a lot but she was cool, so Jared thought, and had connections. She was a mellow girl until someone gave her something to argue about. ThenÖthere was no question of who would win. And since kindergarten Jared had sort of crushed after this girl, Darlene. But she never talked to him and he never even came close to talking to her so it hadnít developed into much.
Then here she was, a girl that wasnít really a popular chick, but pretty enough for Jaredís standards, defending him against 3 nazi terrorists. They took one look at her and ran off. She hung out with Jared the rest of the school day. He even sort of talked to her. He answered all her questions and smiled at her jokes. He didnít act nervous, but then again this was about the first occurrence, the first chance Jared had to do some heavy duty acting and he came through with flying colors. She knew he was a nervous wreck but he played it cool and she respected him for it.
He asked Darlene if he could call her tonightÖ.but she said that she was moving away and didnít know the address. He gave her his but he never heard from her again.
It was the closest thing Jared ever had to having a friend until he joined the play.
Then he had acquaintances but nothing you could exactly call friends until maybe the final weeks of play practice when everything is beginning to come together.
Her name was Anita Jane Young. She had shoulder length brown hair and clear blue eyes. But she was going out with the star foot ball quarter back. She liked Jared and Jared could almost tell. He had his suspicions when she would always talk to him during play practice. She didnít seem to be as close to anyone else as she was to him, to be as talkative, as so damn flirtatious. They would pass notes in study hall and she would call him on the weekends when she didnít go to her boyfriends football games. Sometimes, in the latter part of her flirting with himÖshe seemed very nervous around him. As if she respected him on some level. But this could not be! This never happened to him. He did not act nervous around her for he was an actor and it was his life to make believe he was something else. And to convince other people of the same thing.
Of course by this time he had developed somewhat of a crush and so nervousness and anxiety came naturally with it. He still remembered the first time she talked to him.
He had been standing against a pillar holding up the balcony in the theatre of the school going over his lines. This was when they first got their scripts. His character was Sam Decker, an Italian mobster in Manhattan New York. His character was supposed to kill this old man but then Decker meets the old manís daughter and falls madly in love. He lies about his motives and hesitates the assassination. Then later he finds out that the man set his daughter up, she isnít really supposed to love him. But alas, she is in love with him after all. But it is too late; heís run off to California and out of her life. And of course Anita Jane was playing the part of the daughter.
She approached him at the pillar and asked him his name. Then joked with him a bit about the play. He smiled politely. By this time he was more used to people coming up to him and talking to him and how he should really act. He wasnít very nervous, he figured she was being polite and most likely would never talk to him again. So if he could get through thisÖ.
But. She continued talking to him after that day. He asked around about her and found out more. She was born in raised in that town, lived with her father, and was going out with Charlie Gross, the football player. Her mother had died of AIDS after she was born because of a heroin addiction. She didnít talk about it but there were rumors and cruel jokes around school. But she was still the most popular prep in school. And she was attracted to him.
Jared leaned back on the hood of the car. He looked up at the sky. He came out here to the lake sometimes to go over his linesÖto just get away. The clouds were arranged in such a way that made it look like some castles. Iíll be in that castle some day, Jared thought. He let the gun slip down his thigh and the butt hit the ground gently. He closed his eyes away from the headache and continued to go over all that had happened to him.
The first time she called him she asked him when the next play practice was. Then he asked her how she got his number, it was unlisted. She sort of edged around the topic and changed the subject. She asked him what his favorite movie was. He asked her hers. And so began the different flirtatious conversations they had maintained for about four months now.
One night about 2 months after she started talking to him, Charlie was out of town. He was in Atlantic City for his motherís wedding. And Anita Jane leapt at the opportunity. She asked Jared if he would go with her to a movieÖ..out of town. She had seemed kind of nervous, Jared perceived. He happily said, "Yes, Iíd love that."
She had seemed so incredibly in love with him that night that it hardly seemed like she was mentally there at all. She had a cute little smile on her face and he eyes just watched him that whole night. Jared would talk to her and she would answer but other than that she might as well have not been there.
Jared was scared.
Someone was going to find out and they were going to kill him. They would be horrified because they would think that Jared liked her first, that it was all his fault but he would just as soon not talk to her at all. Except after that nightÖhe had very strong feelings for Anita Jane. This scared him too. He was emotionally obsessed with someone who was emotionally obsessed with him. And since the infatuation was mutual and since this had never happened to him before, he never saw it coming, he had no idea what to do about it.
After the movie she was clinging to his arm and she pulled him back to his car.
"Would you like me to take you home?" he asked.
"No, just drive" she said.
And so he did.
She turned the radio on and a popular song (which Jared didnít really care for, but all the trendy kids went gaga for because it was so depressing and so in-love) came on the radio.
"Ohh," she moaned. "I love this songÖdonít you?"
"Yeah," he lied. "I always get choked up when I hear it."
"Aww," she said, "That is so cute!"
He looked over at her. And then he was lost in her eyes. They drove to his place at the lake, the place he was now. She crawled onto him and they held each other. The song got over but something at the radio station must have been broken because the song started right over and began playing again. For a brief moment Jared had a crazy thought and wondered exactly how long the song had been playing.
"If I could have just one kissÖ" the song sang, "Öthen all of my life would be complete."
And Anita Jane caressed his mouth with her lips. She tasted like popcorn. She began to remove their clothes and suddenly Jared began to kiss her more aggressively. The whole world was his. It didnít matter that this girl would never have talked to him if he hadnít joined the play. And it didnít matter that he had had such a shitty life before this night. Things were working out for him and the world was his. Because they were exactly who they wanted to be, doing exactly what they wanted to do. And no one could take that away from them.
Jared didnít remember exactly when they were finished. He just remembered that the song had played three times during and was now starting on a forth. He was staring at the stars, watching how they twirled around in just a way that made him smile.
He turned to her. She was smiling at the stars as if she they had finally given her something she didnít think theyíd give her. She looked back at him, still smiling.
That was when Jared had a sudden moment of realization. He dug around in his glove compartment and retrieved a script to his favorite play. He opened to a part where the female lead makes the moves on the male lead and they fall in love. He scooted closer to her.
"Here," he said. "You read the part that says, REGINA and Iíll read the part that says WILLIAM."
And for the next half hour they played the part of a couple of lovesick characters. Jared had finally found a female lead.
He took Anita Jane to her house and he went home. Before then Jared didnít think he had anything figured out, but now he had a pretty good idea. Except for the fact that he had just had an affair with the girlfriend of a large football player and he wanted to again but that probably wouldnít be possible in the near future.
Jared came out of his thoughts to see a car drive by. It was red and had a black stripe running through it. Damn. Heíd been spotted. But that was okay. It meant things werenít going to be that hard for the rest of the world later.
One week later Charlie Gross came up to him after play practice. "You fucked her, didnít you!"
All the color in Jaredís face drained in an instant. His knees buckled and he would have hit the ground if Charlie hadnít snatched his neck first. But he didnít strangle Jared. He held him just light enough so he could breathe but hard enough so it would hurt. And he shook Jared, shook him like a near empty bottle of ketchup.
When Jared woke up he was in his own car. The first thought that came to his head was, "Heinz. Heinz. You donít have to shake. Heinz makes squeezable now."
His throat was soar and he had bruises on his face. Anita Jane must have told him. Who else could have possibly seen them?
ActuallyÖanyone could have seen them. It wasnít like they had hid hard. They just went to a different town. It could have been anyone.
When Jared called her that night she was crying. Someone else had told Charlie. He had lost all respect for his girlfriend but he wasnít allowing her to break up with him. She was scared out of her mind. She said she didnít like Charlie, it was only in her best interest to go out with him because he was the most popular guy and she was the most popular girl. She hated the standards.
"Fuck the standards, Anita Jane!" Jared said to her over the phone. "I love you, and you love meÖI thinkÖ"
"I do!" she insisted.
"Then there should be no one keeping us apart. Forget about him and be my girl. Will you?"
"I will! Jared I am so in love with you!"
The next day Anita Jane sat with him at lunch. The seat across from him which usually remained cold and unoccupied now held the girl he loved. Her friends gave her nasty looks the whole day. They gave him the same looks.
And just when things started to go his way, too. But Jared didnít care. Heíd finally found a female lead.
After a while she was happy with her current position in life. "I canít believe how much I like people not liking me and looking up to me. I feel so normal. I love it."
"At least now people respect you." he said.
"What? What do you mean?"
"Well," he said. "Before you ever talked to me I sorta dug yer face. But I never respected you. You were in a totally different world. You were better than us, so why should we respect you when you wouldnít even give us the time of day?"
She hesitated. "Am IÖoffended?" she asked herself, only half joking.
"Ha ha! WellÖyou were a different person then. You were this rich preppy chick. Then you talked to me. You were never the same."
Then the day before the playís opening night came. Charlie Gross came up to Jared. "Youíll regret you ever crossed me, dude. Mark my words!"
"Mark my words?" he said. "Where the hellare you from?"
He made a snarling noise at Jared and galloped off.
Later that day he saw Anita Jane leaving the school. He ran up to her, "Where are you going? Whatís the matter?"
"Iím being sent away! Charlie and his friends planted reefer in my locker! There is no evidence that they did it but I know it. And the school is so fucking sure I did it. Because of my lack of good-natured chirpy preppy self esteem the last few weeks. So basically because I donít hang out with jocks and because I dress different from them I must be a pot head.
"They called my parents. They are really pissed. And they are sending me away to Germany. To a reform school. Iíll never see you again." More tears came where there obviously had been before. They embraced one last time and she was gone from his life.
That was yesterday. So here Jared was sitting on his car with a gun in his hands. His life was about to get worse. He knew it. He watched as the wind hit the leaves on the trees by his lake. He gripped the gun and placed the barrel between his teeth. His finger held the trigger but did not pull. Thoughts ran through his head. A universe of memories. All his walls were being torn down. And here he sat with the answer. This was it. He almost pulled the trigger when he heard a song. It took him a moment to realize it was actually Anita Jane speaking to him.
"JARED! Donít kill yourself! I love you!" she pleaded.
"Anita Jane!" he replied, taking the gun out of his mouth. "I thought youíd be in Germany by now."
"I ran away from my parents. They are looking for me and if we donít move fast theyíll find me."
"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
"Quick!" she got in his car. "We can drive away. Just drive away. Theyíll never catch us and weíll be togetherÖforever."
And as they drove into the horizon their song played on the radio. People heard it from miles around; it traveled well. And that was the last anyone heard of Jared and Anita Jane.
rubydee dear jared,
we were there just five minutes after lucy found out she was pregnant but you didn't know that i knew. that she pulled me into the jamb of the door before i even set sophrona down, whispering fiercely, "we've just tested postive. my god, i'm going to loose it...." and now the amnio, and news that the baby is a boy.

oh jared, sweet jared, and a little boy baby. be kind to that kid, sir. you have a low tolerance for boredom and babies are boring. they sleep a lot and when they are awake require diligent attention. most likely this role will fall to lucy but you should remember to sacrifice yourself as well. let her take tubs. alone. get her the random cake at midnight. feed her well in general.

keep your comments about her body to yourself. shelf-ass is somewhat avoidable until the ninth month of pregnancy, then all of a sudden the sprawling hips appear in all their glory. love her new ass.

um yeah. and she's going to get a lot crazier before this baby is born. and she'll probably be crazy (in a new and different way) after.

your sister,
celestias shadow requiem_for_a_dream is quite the depressing movie. 030903
nomatter and he says "It looks like I've been having hot monkey sex with a smurf." 040113
unhinged neither one of them like his brother. he looks exactly like the jared from the subway diet. so they call him jared. i have no opinion on him other than i think his resemblance is humorous. 040113
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