blather_psycologists_office blah-ze welcome one and all please sit down on my couch NOW!! better... so lets talk about the relationship with your other personalities had any breakups lately? bits of your diseased mind trying to escape out your ear? problems talking to yourself? i know its difficult when half your brain wants to shove a poker down your throat just let it all out... 030808 ... oldephebe hey! are you wearing an Oxford buttoned down shirt with the monograms presssed or seared into the cuff - and those tassled florsheims - aren't those the sartorial acoutrements of the disassociative and disenchanted psychologist - wait I'm propounding a cognitive illusion here - really haven't acertained your gender - I'm so used to tasselled indifference blithely, faciley pressing these pink little pills into my palm - OO that much revered and much proffered pharmacological panacea to all my neurosis - he doesn't even like pineapples in his cottage cheese! you know I really like this lime green they've painted my padded room in - it just diffuses all my interlocking interdependant neurosis AHH that's better 030808 ... blah-ze ummm...no and i reserve the right to psycologically victimise anyone who enters my office but now that we're over that, please sit down i'm sensing you have a problem with the surroundings just let me get my thingy, from my other thingy, and we can start 030808 ... oldephebe could you incorporate cattle prods as part of my much needed reintegration? i think it could really hasten things along - 030810 ... blah-ze "i was thinking just that, and it may be so, my patient...mwa-ha-ha-ha" *speaks with shocking southern european accent* maybe some dedicated mind games-i like mind games *spins giant hamster wheel with human trapped inside* anyway...i think we all should try 'group' therapy now *picks up hypnoscope and speaks hypnotically* "grab... the... nearest... living... thing... kill it... eat... the... corpse" (first day therapy notes: patient responded well to mind con... therapy. the world will be mine!...or at least, my backyard. damn these democratic squirrels!...damn them!) 030810 ... Dafremen Ok doc. Check out what_the_hands_of_man_hath_wrought and explain to me how my latent sexual frustration caused the 10 digits that are the basis for human mathematics and science to add up to "the number of the beast" please. It's obvious that my subconscious caused those numbers to add together that way, in correct sequential order. 0123 + 456 + 78 + 9 = 666 How the HELL did my delirium manufacturer THAT DOC? 030810 ... oldephebe *spittle clinging to lips, still in the receding throes of what appears to have been an epileptic seizure - fresh from his tango with the galvanizing cattle prods* nods at Daf and other members of the group - Doc, Doc mayabe you could ramp up the amps, maybe that would kill the fire in my mind Oh hey Daf didn't quite think we'd meet under these circumstances. Didn't Jung talk about this atavistic, primeval nexus where the mythic, and the roots of every god and every faith reside - and dreams being this primeval conduit to revisiting our metaphysical origins and understanding all those phantasmagoric instatiations, his anti-semitism notwithstanding, wasn't he responsible for articulating the mythic and cultural basis of the whole Aryan super race myth - a hodge podge of runic symbols and norse myths weaved into the quasi religious/cultural/scientific pretext that constituted the ideological planks in the whole super-race thing, the swatiska closely resembles this powerful talismanic runic symbol. So, man, erecting a myth to validate and equate genocide with cultural and ethnic assertion - and yeah the allies treated Germany rather shoddily after the first World War so maybe the seeds were sown, maybe the excesses of Britians/France/ Americas' overt economic subjugation and blockades were responsible for allowing a man like Hitler to be catapulted into the halls of power - but still man how the heck did I crawl out here on his premonitory, See Doc I really need to have these lobes pared down, take alittle off the side won't you? 030810 ... blah-ze sure, oldphebe, gimme just a sec *pulls out ridiculously large rippy saw and gets to work* anyway, dafreman, where were we? ahh, yes. as you can see, mr dafreman, we have had our eye on you for some time now... *thumbs open immense case file folder* hmmm.... it doesn't seem the numbers that are adding up, or even the emergency midget failing to correct you, is the problem. the latent sexual frustration could be a cause, but its more likely that all you need is 23000 volts to quiet down the internal mathematical, not entirely metaphorical, beast. god, and they call this a job (or a life) mmm... love the smell of frying brains in the morning... sorry, oldphebe old boy. got distracted... *pushes charred corpse out of view* a little of the sides, you say. pity. i like the 'frankensteiner'. thats our new full frontal lobotomy look, complete with 1960's vintage oversize comic book style stitching. no? well then. thinned through the middle? all the rage nowadays, though we wouldn't want to take too much and leave you drooling, now would we. all done. we'll just cover the chainsaw gash with a little fake skin and there we are! *sighs satisfactorily* another day, another federal aresst warrant... and personality... 030810 ... oldephebe drooling! yay! I went out and purchased a gold plated brass spitoon - it attaches at the ears and is portable and it's got an adjustable brace or strap thingy - leaving my hands free to apoplectically gesticulate during those protracted and not asked for marathons of pompous pontification - listen doc the next time you sew those seams back in place could you use lavender surgical thread? It'll really set off my new white and lavender polkadot (sp)cumberbun that I like to sport - now listen closely doc for I will not be misunderstood - yamahamma! yamahamma! yamahamm! There! 0h and doc look, what are your thoughts on that bit of hodge-podge hyperbole and conjecture I posted on 8/10 with respect to the whole Jungian theory of dreams and the collective unconscious as it relates to Dafs Armegeddon etude - dream fugue and all that. I've been getting a lot of compliments on my new look - a lot of people seem to stare with this fake horrified pantomime - I know its just a tribute to my post-labotomy new look. hey doc some times I see in these vivid colors and then other times all the color seems to bleed out of the world - did you do something to my cones and rods - and if you did - could you restore my love affair with asparagus - and yeah back to the whole intermittant color blindness - could there be some kind of psychosomatic trigger there? And why does my head hurt so loud when those colors come back and clash - man! I thought the labotomy would take care of all those many modes of mind/thinling - I was really looking forward to a life of slack-jawed glaze eyed stupefaction. later 030811 ... oldephebe thinking the word is thinking many modes of thinking/many modes of mind at least I'm still an abhorrent speller Damn this drool! Let me empty this spitoon - later 030811 ... blah-ze please don't refer to me as 'doc' i much prefer 'master of the universe' or even 'lord of all existence' but if that's just too much, try 'doctor jekyl' *laughs maniacally* wondering about this session when reviewing my case file *opens up notebook and pulls pencil from mass of behind-ear hair* you seem to have avoided pontifying to me with a marvellous spiel of how you to befall this little place i like to call 'wazzaland', or this earth in specifying this quandary, i have opened up an additional way i can destr... make new your diseased mind but have we talked about you? you seem to have the ability to describe things in the most absolute of useless, but nevertheless impressive, adjective nonsense. in laymans terms (which you have an aversion to, it seems) you call a spade a manually operated soil relocation apparatus, and this seems to be the crux of your neurologically unbalanced mentality the simplest solution for this situation would to displace your cerebellum with a small lead projectile between your optic recognition organs in a blatently untalented attempt to perform a full frontal lobotomy. or to just whack that damn fly. either way, i can see this ending in disastrous disasterly disaster with most terribly terrible terrors of repercussions. now i'm (unsuccessfully) endevouring to satarise your overt eloquence and overuse of adjectives. damn. i will now shut the hell up, dagnabbit yup, that's right. dag-nabbit. 030812 ... oldephebe ((*clears writhing maggots off most recent pile of dung*)) there that's better, where's that aresol air freshener? petty and malignant..pretty much par for the course . and now my wittle heart is bruised see the petals wilting and falling to the ground to decay hey doc don't take your self too seriously this whole thing is just people taking their poops here and there now let's get serious! Yamma hamma yamma hamma! There! hey doc or bla-aze or whatever chill okay? man I was having such a good time yukking it up and you had to get all non-objective and pettily malicious oh well just one more thing ______ you're entitled to your opinion petty and malignant as it may be but it stays right where it was whelped I know whats in my head and the twain shall never meet (sniff, sniff, sigh) In my eyes I am that unmovable thing that irrevocable thing sitting on the throne seat of my being. That's what's in my head. So go ahead and manufacture all the venom, spleen and vile you feel you neeed to - none of it touches me - I thought we were just yukking it up, but hmm every orafus has its own poop to excrete so maybe I'll encounter you on some more enlightened plane of existence maybe not I did have a good time yukking it up though peace 030812 ... oldephebe try not to drop any more hints about your true identity blah-aze or whatever you want to maintain that scintillating veneer of mystery guess I'll settle up my bill at the front desk be well 030812 ... blah-ze *hangs up stethoscope, wiping eyes* it was good while it lasted... sigh 030812 ... blah-ze come one come all to my new and improved problems are no problem for me i may not have a certificate no more but damn! do i ever have spare time to burn! 030908 ... p2 based on another blathe sea_monkeys i mean see: monkeys 1: Welcome to tree therapy, where we cure people who think they're trees. 2: Hi Doctor, help me, I think I'm a tree. 1: You can't be a tree, trees think they're monkeys. 2: But I'm a tree! 1: No, if trees think they are monkeys and you do no think you are a monkey, then clearly you are not a tree. 2: Oh, ok then, I think I'm a monkey. Help me! 1: Sorry, monkey therapy is on Tuesdays, come back then. 031216 ... celestias shadow analyze me, so I can laugh at everything you get wrong! I suppose if you're actually right, I'll be forced to promote you to everyone else. *sigh* 031216 ... notme i'd like some eclectic smock theraplease 031216 ... oE how is our old friend blah-ze these days? hope everything is okay..the fact that we haven't heard from him may just mean that he's actually gotten a life and is not blathering incontinantly like meself... be well blah-ze... 031217 ... minnesota_chris want me to analyze you celestias? I analyzed jane and girl_jane (see jane_vs_girljane) and it made me REALLY popular 031217 ... celestias shadow do it anyways. please.....i'll make you cookies! 031217 ... tyger It sounds like you are avoiding personal responsibility to me. If you would just take ownership of your life, and yes, that includes the unfortunate Wonder Bread truck incident...yes, I know you have two broken legs and a concussion...did playing the victim as a child get you attention from others? It's time to grow up, you know! You can't go to work because you can't walk? Sounds like another excuse! When are you going to stop letting others dictate what happens to you in your life?! POOOR LITTLE BABY! ALWAYS NEEDING ATTENTION FROM OTHERS! If you want to know what I think, I think you subconsciously got run over so you could continue your helplessness and immaturity! *professional voice* Ok, it looks like our time is up. That will be $150. Cash only, please... 031218 ... oE wow..dr. laura in drag..nicely done..sounds real republicany.. 031218 ... blather gender check i think tyger is female 031218 ... :_) i am here because i am not happy with the way my other blather selves are behaving. they want to screw up my life and make me do really bad things. they make me want to go places like blather_sex. i am self destructive. 040210 ... whey how? and from that tree flowed many tributaries 040210 ... :-) way too funny 040210 ... blah-ze well, i do believe there is a noticable vortex of feeling in blather-people write, people respond, people even enjoy doing it. it's when it starts to get you down that is bad. people who write pointless crap don't really give a thought to the whole that is blather. i have done it myself, the result is feelingless, inane, and cuts away a part of some of the more moving and serious stuff here. however, i am never in a position to judge, where something is pointless by my standard, it may have meaning to someone else, what i condemn may be what someone else blathes with their entireness. and if i go and condemn the use of blather by another person, my use must also come into question, again, given the values that are here, my uses are more worthless to them as theirs is to me. this came from the entireness of my blatherbeing, so screw you if you don't like it. this is my us, my way of expression, my best feelings and opinions that i can muster. and it has meaning for me, search for meaning within you. 040211 ... misstree i like you, blah-ze. that's a tasty chunk of mindmeat you slapped down there. my opinoin differs only slightly, in that i judge and open myself to judgement. i just strive for fairness. 040211 ... blah-ze old-E, ya ol dawg... i have what i wouldn't dare call a life and have been rather seperated from my computer-but earing a thousand a week is good. hehehe... yenda, australia, where getting pissed drunk passes as the ONLY form of entertainment... 040211 ... blah-ze fine then... like me... i don't care... *finds a corner to hide in* 040211 ... :_) blather shrink i must ask you. if i abuse blather like a drug, must i quit? and who must i seek for such an addiction? 040215 ... blah-ze er... not really. you can if you want, but mostly just don't operate heavy machinery or hair removal equipment after a session. and come here if you need to see anyone. just because our license is pending doesn't mean we don't know what the hell we're doing. now where's my calipers and duct tape, that lobotomy's coming up... 040215 ... :_) lobotomy, mmm... now that might even be better than blather. can you fit me in? 040215 ... megan give me a list of five problems i have off the top of your head and how i can fix them 040215 ... notme *takes a seat in the waiting room* i'll bring it back i promise) 040215 ... :_) and i think blather and coffee is causing insomnia. maybe you can prescribe me a drug that will cause me too shut down my computer and go to bed. 040215 ... florescent light you mispelled psychlology ...and Psychologists are not qualified to perscribe medication. 040216 ... florescent light psychology, damnit 040216 ... sleepless in los angeles but they can perform lobotomys. that makes alot of sense??? 040216 ... blah-ze i never said i was a psycologist. i just work in the blather_psycologists_office on weekends. five problems for megan... 1. i am lonely and i want to talk to people. talk to them. just don't act like a deadhead. 2. when i was little, my mother told me to ignore my little voice in my head. then we found out it was my conscience. what do i do? who gives a hoot? get a tickle me elmo, then whenever you come to a decision, do what the elmo says. you'll never get anywhere in life, but at least you'll not be evil. 3. when i see clowns, i have an urge to kill. how do i fix this problem? kill the clowns. then you won't get angry. 4. my lobotomy is leaking. do you have a money back policy? here. have a sponge. 5. this medication doesn't seem to be working. i still have an irrational fear of women. it's called placebo. call someone who cares. 040218 ... oldephebe make that money blahze...you can rest later..and have some of the wherewithal to lubricate/facilitate the whole having a life kinda thing... 040218 ... oE and by lubricate i am in no way referring or alluding to the use of any petroleum based substances in the cause of rescusitating a sepulcral sex life between two partners who've seen and know the others moves by rote.... .... no, not in any way. 040317 ... thin black tongue of a crow What? 041122 ... thin black tongue of a crow What? 041122 ... thin black tongue of a crow What? 041122 ... tombe_seul i suppose this is the part where i look up from doodling in that little notebook of mine and ask you trying to seem interested: "...how does that make you feel?" 041122 ... blahze you impotent ass 041122 ... blahze you impotent ass 041122 what's it to you? who go blather from