i_miss Annie111 I miss people who actually like each other, not pretend to. 011230 ... Aaron when my life was so simple.. no voices.. no worries.. nothing to bother me and distract me from life... 011230 ... ClairE being able to skip over unhappiness in the world. I miss him, of course. I miss not thinking about my weight. I miss being almost sunk in happiness. I miss someone next to me in bed, and sunlight on us. 011230 ... kerry I agree with Aaron... simplicity, definitely. 011231 ... Mahayana: Zakah: ... my mothers afro wig from the '70's it was really fun to dust with [dusts to: super freak:] shes all wig, shes all wig, that wigs all wig'ht with me, yeahhhh, hey hey hey! hey ... shes a super fro ... yow!!! everybody sang, super fro ... super fro... that fros allright with me .. yeahhhhhhhhhhhh .. pledge sing! shes a very kinky fro ... the kind you dont bring home 2 moutha. yow! [commences dusting] 011231 ... ClairE you. But not too badly. A lovely fresh start to the new year. 020101 ... Mahayana: Zakah: i_miss u 020107 ... kelli crane my kids my mom my brother my 3000 GT 020113 ... crimson Stephan. I want back to that February. I want to feel air on my scarless shoulders. I miss him calling me at night and it not mattering that he couldn't sing or that he liked Good Charlotte because he wrote me songs and sang them as he strummed sullen, simple chords on his guitar. I want him to call me baby and stare at me with his eyelashes so long and pretty and his eyes so big and brown under his whiteblonde hair. I want to go back to messing around with him on the empty bus. I want him to be mine only. I want July when I saw him and he asked if I wanted to fuck and I just laughed and left. I wish he had followed me. Zach. I want back to that August. I miss him saying it wasn't ok but he knew I needed to cut and wouldn't try to stop me. I want his rough-skin gentle-touch fingers back on my scars and his sad, deep blue stare. I miss him telling me that he loves me and I am Amazing and Oh My God Too Too Too Much. I want his beautiful teeth and lips near mine and his breath on my kneck. I wish that he would call me and play me drum solos and write me shitty adorable poems. I want to watch him give This Look, eyes wide open, exhaling, running his fingers thorough his hair, when he is completely overwhelmed by something. I miss his laugh and God I miss him missing me. 030927 ... delial I miss the house with the three driveways. It had 2 bedrooms and a full bath downstairs along with a living room (entertainment room) which attached to a workshed area enclosed at the side of the house with a nifty fence door, and there was a room opening off from the entryway where we'd have the christmas tree every year. Also, there was a storeroom connected to the entertainment room, as well. Upstairs, there was my bedroom to the right, along with the family room. To the left was a full bathroom, my parent's bedroom which had a full bath connected from there as well, along with a closet and the opening to the attic. Moving straight from the stairway you look to the left and see the large kitchen area (where I amde lots of cookies! And which had lovely wooden flooring I always loved to walk barefoot on) and if you walk all the way to the end of the kitchen and then look to the left, you'll see a door (which always had a habit of opening itself at strange times) that opens out to the balcony, which connects also to my parents' room by a similar door. If you walk back to the area near the family room, you'll look to the right and notice a woodstove surrounded in tile my parents did themselves. To the left, you'll see a sliding glass door. This leads to the sunroom which is also wood floored and to the left of this is another sliding glass door which opens onto a huge deck I loved to play with my legos on.(my parents also built this deck) On the top driveway was the pool we set up ourselves, the garden, and sandpiles for us(the kids) to play in (it was leftover from doing the pool) though it was dangerous(well, the kid mindset of dangerous) to play in the sand because we also had cats and giant potato bugs that also loved the sand. The only downside to this house was that it was haunted. I lived there until I was 11 or so, and this house was definitely creeped out. I never went downstairs in the dark. Sometimes I didn't even go down there in the day, because of this feeling of a barrier near the hallway to the downstairs bedrooms. But all this doesn't matter to me anymore. I wish I could make enough money to buy that house back. It was wonderful. It had everything. It snowed there, too, and the summers were hot enough. There are a lot of memories for me in that house. Fond, warm, childohood memories. Maybe one day I'll get to see it again, but I guess that's silly of me to dream. 030927 ... reue the softness of your skin 031003 ... endless desire blatherskites. 031003 ... Lemon_Soda Days of ignorance. Dreamworlds lost to the decay of memory. Talents now wasted. Freinds I can nolonger recall. 031003 ... Death of a Rose my mind 031014 ... ClairE Everything. Simply everything, sometimes. 031104 ... delial I miss the time period where I thought everyone was like me in that they didn't say things just for the sake of being cruel or mocking. Lately, it seems like the majority of people around my age are just that. Cruel and mocking jerks. What happened to genuine love and affection geared towards the world? All you need is love, not all this crap people keep flinging at each other. That's what I miss. 031104 ... lucky Well Jesse... it's Tuesday. Three days you've been gone now? So little time... such a long time. I miss you already. Sunday night I went to bed after my first day of not seeing you and sleep did not come easy. The pillow beside me had been previously slept on by you and your scent still lingered. Your scent kept me up all night. Today I saw someone running who had their socks hiked up their legs. White socks that reminded me of you. You and your silly sock obsession. Last night, walking with Ashley, a star popped out of the sky and captivated my attention. I tripped because I turned my head and was staring at it. Ashley said, "He loves you." I've quickly realised how easy it is to miss you. And miss everything about you. Right now I'm missing... I miss... your smile. So bright. I didn't realise how much I need it to make my day worth while. your laugh. I haven't laughed near enough these passed few days. Who could I laugh with? you eyes. So beautiful. your hugs. I need to feel warm again, I need your warmth. your words. So many words, so much life. your hand. No one to hold_my_hand. your music. Your soul. your chest. The sound of your heartbeat. talking with you. laughing with you. smiling with you. dancing with you. *grins* snorting with you. breathing with you. eating with you. sleeping with you. I miss your kiss. You have this uncanny ability to kiss me and make me into jelloey goop. Because with each of your kisses I feel and I know just how much you love me. It's in your kiss... Jesse. I miss you. I love you. 040817 ... lucky I brought Ashley a sundae and she said she wished the peanuts would turn into pistachios... pistachios reminded me of you. 040817 ... pete the night, i guess, just ended at 3.10am. the four of us were lying on my living room floor with an episode of veggie tales coming to an end, around an empty pizza box. the taxi to take them home arrived, as the buses stopped running two hours ago and they had a fairly long walk to make. the way we leaned into eachother on the roof earlier in the night, the way we sprawled in such a circle with the bunny hopping around, on, and between us; it all made me miss a warm embrace, a simple kiss, walking hand in hand. they left about five minutes ago. sigur ros is playing bium bium bambalo. i am alone with the bunny in my room just thinking, burning out, still high, not really drunk, but i'm here, thinking so much. i miss it. 040818 ... *sad sigh* ...dosquatch 040818 ... Elmo I miss feeling alive. I miss feeling happy. I miss feeling loved. I miss feeling love. I miss feeling you. I miss you feeling me. I miss the way you made me feel special. I miss you. The one time i was happy, and now it's gone. One year, out of 19 so far. How many more must i wait? I miss life. 040818 ... lucky Ironman came on and now I even miss "the irritation". Yikes! 040820 ... somepeoplesmile being able to trust myself not to do something drastic 040820 ... lucky I watched Jerry McGuire and missed you. HA. Don't know how to explain that one. Oh and I bought socks yesterday. I know you'll be proud. 040821 ... uow being a person 040821 ... lucky I miss feeling beautiful. I miss feeling like I matter. I miss looking at the world reflected in your eyes. I miss feeling wanted. God I miss you. 040821 ... lucky I miss the crazy happy feeling I get when I'm around you. I miss laughing. I miss crying. I miss smiling. I miss being dizzy. I miss being happy? 040821 ... once again "substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss..." slick darkness wet with the heat of bodies entwined wrapping through thoughts and fogging your glasses. Tripping me up and stealing my words sliding through passion and arms and I'm yours. laughter and diners and cheap chinese food, greasy cusine where ever we go... lets leave a tip and get out of this place it just an excuse for the usual place. forgetting, forgiving and falling again... the way that your eyes go soft at the end... the moment in my heatbeat when time stops for you... the tinest split second when dreams can come true. falling down forever ...this... 040821 ... spiffy not being lonely as i sit here all night and watch the minutes tick by until sunrise, when i can finally go to sleep. 040821 ... Borealis at least twice this week, I very seriously considered making a few calls and getting myself very stoned. never got around to it. perhaps that is more unsettling. ... I miss having something to wake up for. I need another transition 040822 ... JdAwG Before you start making phonecalls like that, you call me, and I'll get that thought out of your head. 040822 ... pete i found what i miss last night... sober, both of us, lying on the dock, talking for hours, as the party raged behind us... i hope that it wasnt a one night thing, even though the only kiss we shared was when we both stumbled and our lips met, so we kissed before falling more... 040823 ... pete and on the very stoned thing... it is better, in my opinion, to get stoned then hammered... don't go out drinking yourself silly if you can roll a joint... (and mixing isn't always the best, though i spent 25 of the last 29 hours drinking/smoking/spending time with girl i've mentioned in two blathes so far today) 040823 ... nighean_siofra I_miss... the way i used to just know things that everything was good and how i was so peacefully happy i miss the way my world was and how it was organized where everything had a place and everyone had a name i miss knowing that someone cared and my 'ignorance is bliss' theory i miss the way those boys smiled at me and how they could made me laugh i miss being kelsey and knowing who i was what i believed where i was going everything is so strange I_miss the life I've left behind the part of my story that's over... 040914 ... metamantrg i_miss the one I love for the past few days sence you left awaiting your return Iknow it wont be long 040914 ... suicidalchinadoll I miss feeling secure.. even in my own company and while I still have some ability to hold these things in my mind while alone.. when anyone is thrown into the mix, I get inexplicably nervous. fidgety like I'll give something up to you, by calming down, and the moment I do, it won't be worth it anymore. 040915 ... Zoe i miss the house that was uterly too big for just two of us. i miss staying out till five in the morning. i miss not worrying about the future. i miss being able to do whatever i want and not think about the consequences. i miss being invinsible. i miss the sound of their voices. i miss the way we always argued about everything. i miss the feeling of being in a group of people who love each other unconditionally. i miss the sticky feeling i get after swimming in the ocean. i miss the waves knocking me down, and your strong arms picking me back up. i miss the smell of salt water as we made love on the beach. i miss the smell of your cologne. i miss you and i miss my home. 040916 ... tyler waters love. 041008 ... pete i listen to her cd and catch all the references to the summer (when she wrote two of the four songs on this demo cd) that has passed away. i remember our talks about the arrangement, about how the producer slowly made the cd cost more and more and tried to suffocate her voice and guitar with his friend's annoying electric mandolin and his ambitions to make money off of her. i listen and i close my eyes and i am back in rasputin's or the bayou, and when i open my eyes at the end of the song she will be walking back to the seat besdie me... or maybe not 041008 ... shivers peace and random fits of laughter 050809 ... pete she's been back for months, i've seen her three times. this is what happens when day jobs with weekends off meet night jobs with random days off... silence. 050809 ... rhin being in close proximity to you. you taking my book from me when i fall asleep. you grabbing my hand. the car wash. kissing you until my lips are numb. the feel of your hand on my back. watching you cook. waking up with you in the morning. staking out the competition in a bookstore parking lot prior to a big sale. cuddling with you. everything about you. 141203 ... Doar being able to slide my head beside yours, as you sit on the couch, and kiss you upside down, that tilt of your head when you start to smile, the comfort and support you show me, as I will show for you. sliding my fingers into yours to see if you are real, you leaning over and telling me about the virtues of car washes. i ache when you ache, i know something is wrong i_miss_you so much that my face, my bones, my fingers ache. you will always be my moon, my light. I love you. And I will always make sure your book is safe. . 141205 ... unhinged ivet live (that whole youngstown period of my life represented things i barely recognize now, but still. when i am so anxious my foot can't sit still, frank's voice, speech, guitar, remind me to_breathe where did i go?} 141206 what's it to you? who go blather from