love_is_pain
unhinged buddhism_vs_nihilism


objectively, it's true. this rush of chemicals and hormones will eventually deteriorate into pain. as all emotions do.

that's not to say we shouldn't love. but just to be aware that love is not an eternal state. it fades into impermanence much like all other compounded things. we shouldn't be so sad when it leaves. some other love will come our way to replace it. we shouldn't cling to each object of love like it was the last. if we lived our bodhisattva_vow then we would love all things so the thought of one thing leaving doesn't become so unbearable.

how true
every moment a little death
le_petit_mort
or
existential_airlines
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hsg love_is_not_pain

pain is a representation of a deeper fear. all fears are ultimately a fear of separation from you & the infinite, which is impossible. u can forget that you_are_that_you_are, butruth remainsame.

mistaking x for love, there is pain. the realoveternow cannot b mistaken; the ReaLovEter knows it can only have & have had (([al(l)]ong)) what it,self is: tru.th.at.here is no change in what is real, it's our delusions that can-tinuously fool us & entertian us. thiseems paradox i call to sum, bu the difference is approching the problem of your perception with an into-it-ive humor. th is loveter, kinda like lafter eternity quest.i.on.ing you, you answer it with a decision to look at it all as you will. And th is your life, this choice of outlook.
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unhinged love IS pain

the_four_seals
2) all emotions are pain


love is also a fear of separation from the ego; all emotions exist to keep the ego intact. the pure true state of mind that ends all suffering is one without ego, clinging, grasping.


now of course, love as pain is harder to accept than anger as pain. at first, love is a wonderful painless emotion. (but i might even argue that, the way my heart swells and cracks and overflows with it) but how many times have you been hurt by people you love? is that hurt more intense than if the same thing would have been done by a stranger? how many times has your love deteriorated into anger? it is the entropy_paste of emotion. emotion is the river of delusion we hide in to feed our ego and perpetuate our suffering. even the highest emotion, like love, when attached to a single object, moves down to the lowest common denominator eventually.

love IS NOT eternal
love IS NOT steadfast

but like i said earlier, that is not to say we shouldn't love. love is the first glimpse into the greatness that we all carry around inside.
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unhinged false_awakenings 070723
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hsg love is not for the ego. ego_love is pain. it is untrue. this is why you hurt. the hurt shows you as a last resort that what you're doing is not aligned with truth.

those u love cannot hurt u.
those u do not love cannot hurt you.
your delusions hurt you. this is the source of your pain.

love is this moment when you are fully awake to it. your denial of reality causes you pain. that is why your version of it falls apart through time. time is a journey into the mechanisms of truth. when you arrive at time's end you see that the only thing to last is love. as it should be. as it cannot be otherwise-not eternally. & this is how you come to know truth. you are taken for a ride loop after loop until you grasp the essence. you are learning love. pain is evidence of not understanding love. this is why it feels like such a long time.
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Pebble Flintstone how is your costume coming along ? 070723
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hsg huh? 070723
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unhinged i get what you are saying but i do not use the word love for what you are saying. compassion is a more accurate word for the kind of love that doesn't cause pain. and metta.


but not what the western modern meaning of the word love entails. that is pain. people i do love do cause me pain. my brother, father, mother, frank, bobbi, natalie, john_and_i, joseph_and_i. to say that people you love don't cause you pain is rather untrue in my experience. when i love someone, my heart cracks for them. everytime they take a painful breath, my heart twinges. everytime they treat me like shit, my heart breaks. everytime i tell them how i feel and it doesn't make a difference, i get that old familiar heart_pang.

but i also know that i have made a difference in some of those lives because of that love. i'm not saying i or anyone else should stop loving because it causes pain, but my friend it does. pure and simple. so in it's purest, reductive form, love is pain. maybe not immediately or apparently, but love, like all other compounded phenomena, is pain. because like all other compounded phenomena, our brains place unrealistic expectations and connotations and demands on that love.

i.e. my comments on the:
heroin
page

i had a dear dear friend who was swallowed by that shit. all the love in the world couldn't stop him from that shit until death was staring him in the face. but, because of the love his friends gave him, he chose to clean up his shit. that love was some of the most horrible pain i have ever experienced. i waited for someone to call me that he was dead. i cried and worried and just waited for that fucking phone call. because i loved him and knew the horrible shit in his heart cause i felt it in my own. i would have traded anything for him not to feel any of that because i loved him.

or the
growing_pains
of my little brother
the only person in this world that i feel knows me completely


the reality of our mere mortal human conception of love is that it causes pain and even is itself pain at times. the only way to cure this perception is to expand the circle of love so that it includes everything. to approach the concept of love with equanimity. so that when my friend that was a heroin addict couldn't hear or accept my advice, i wouldn't be broken waiting for him to die. (which i couldn't and didn't conceive of at the time) but when my brother came to me, while it weighed heavy on my heart, i could be there for him and love him and hold him and not blame myself for not being there in the past. to love all things in the present with no regret.

cultivate_compassion
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. hurt so good,
come on baby make it hurt so good
sometimes love don't feel like it should
.
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unhinged tattooed
the_enlightenment_of_pain

i do agree hsg that all it takes to be happy is to change your perception. to simply change the way you see the world; but for some it's not so simple to abandon the things that make us suffer.
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hsg friend, it is simple. simple does not mean easy, as it is often implied. 070724
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hsg i think where we differ is that often people call clingyness, love. i do not see love that way. love_is_a_state. the ostal abbr for it is 3 :) you should move here.

in the state of love, there is no tolerance, tho thaz not the same as "intolerance". therz no forgiveness b/c uv done nothing wrong. there's no patience because you no you are eternal. all there is is love & this is on a need_to_know basis... you need to know!

once you're granted insecurity_clearance you'll be notified.
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unhinged i am not trying to argue semantics here. and i'm not really trying to win you over to my way of thinking.

i have experienced the_four_seals and believe them to be true. the word love alone holds certain connotations for me that i have found to be painful in my life. especially in the past eight months.

like i have said several times already on this page, i believe our concepts are pretty much in agreement but the words we use to describe them are different. i think your concept of love closely resembles the buddhist concept of metta.


what i mean and feel when i think of love is very ego driven and clingy. that many of us turn to an object defined love in search of happiness and it ultimately lets us down. often times it only contributes to our misery. once again, the only way to alleviate this is to expand the circle of love to include all beings; to combine love with equanimity. but, i am specifically referring to this intense protective feeling or romantic rush of hormones that many of us label 'love' it's painful man, pure and simple, interspersed with moments and feelings of happiness.

that is my belief on the matter. i do acknowledge and respect your opinion on this but you cannot convince me otherwise. and once again, i do feel like we are on adjacent pages of the same book.
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jane love_is_blind 070724
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unhinged when i can't see you
feel you
touch you
but my heart reaches towards you
like smoke
when i need you to hold me
but you can't

long_distance_love
sucks balls
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Ouroboros life_is_pain 090303
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In_Bloom If love is pain then bring some more!
Love made my life bearable until I could take it in my own hands
Love was my food and my yes when everything else was saying, no
Love came and healed up 7 years of hurt, in almost an instant
Love is what I look to and put my faith into that it will keep getting me through
Pain
090303
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sui caedere inner selves protected
workings altered
sharing only what is chosen
when chosen

no longer an open book
deep impressions felt in bone
rare privileges tarnished
with grimy finger prints

last hopes of human connection
suffocated with words of
contempt for that which i
cherish the most :communication:

do not speak of this to anyone
somethings are better left unsaid
embodiment of walking pain
like beatings and devotions of love

difficult to understand
now locked away in secretive motions

skull, shoulders, ribs
cages housing billowings of:
anger, woundedness, hatred
it shouldn't be this way

bruised, battered, scared,
and defiled
you loved me the most
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unhinged i still kick myself for that day
the day we went to the concertina bar
and you tried to pull me close to dance
grabbed my hand and kissed it
and i was afraid
afraid that you'd notice how much i needed you
loved you
wanted you

i still kick myself for not kissing you back
for just getting out of the car
and smiling
when i should have
told you
kissed you
held you



now you have a girlfriend
with a side_mullet
who makes you sarcastic and bitter
we've barely hung out in the past nine months
and i don't know who you are anymore
the little glimpses i've seen
discouraging

but then you called me yesterday morning
and i was happy all day
when i have been barely happy
waking up to your_voice made me happy all day
which also made me think
of the day you slipped through my fingers
to end up with a girl
with a fucking side_mullet

(i wonder if you think her haircut is stupid too
her meanness
the way she noticeable pouts when we are all together
or maybe if you like
being a daddy figure for her

maybe i was too smart
too musical
too unyielding
for you)
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jane love_is_rain 090304
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In_Bloom sui caedere:

Wow. Just wow.
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hsg kill_yourself? 090305
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unhinged i need you now
more than i ever needed you


but we are so different now
than the day we carried the abandoned sidebar
down the street
the night you threw the chair at
my neighbors' window
all the times
i cooked you dinner
you curled up on my couch, in my bed
'we' aren't that anymore
and i don't know if we could be again



i miss you now
more than i've ever missed you
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p! we aren't that anymore
and i don't know if we could be again.

it's scary to linger on the idea.
back and forth, could we?
i could try harder, we could change,
you might find it in you.
no. it happened for a reason.
we've developed. whatever memories
we have are just pleasant reminders
that we were once good together,
good for each other,
the memories!?

oh you know
strikes and gutters
ups and downs.

it's over?
it's never over.
it's over.
sometimes it's over.

yet
so easy to love someone like you.
so impossible to really love you anymore.
so we withdraw our elaborate metal hooks, scar up, move on and disperse into other dimensions.
090503
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. . 090503
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unhinged i don't think i should give you the letters i wrote you
the things i can't say
then again
you should know you broke me
into all these little pieces
not sure why i expected different
from you


leaving is just a matter of time

'i don't want to be responsible for your heart'
too_late


'how are you holding up?'
barely
the tears still fall
i can't breathe
i wake up cold and lonely
'alright'
the_overstatement_of_the_year
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f for friend IF SOMEONE LOVED YOU THEY WOULD DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU NOT TO FEEL PAIN.

IF YOU THINK LOVE IS PAIN THEN I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR YOU.
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hsg Why? 100821
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unhinged i don't feel sorry for me. you shouldn't.


the_four_seals
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h|s|g castaneda: (actu ally, don_juan_matus)

"To pity someone is to agree with them that they are powerless to change their situation."
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unhinged (and besides, i don't know how true the statement 'if someone loved you they'd do anything they could for you to not feel pain' is. i would agree. i would act on that statement. but that's not true for everyone. someone that supposedly loves me has been very mean, nasty, irrational, unreasonable, and ridiculous with me in the past month. he is the primary source of pain in my life. love from him is pain. it is one of those buddhist truths that to nonbuddhists seems cynical and nihilistic but to me is actually rather comforting. doesn't mean i'm going to stop loving anytime soon; just helps me be not so confused when the pain part comes up) 100823
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unhinged he stood at the busstop with me yesterday
and told me that
from the first time he saw me
he loved me

and those words
made a wall
because i knew how he felt
because i felt that way about someone else
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no reason you were always the last person in the world i ever thought could treat me this way 100823
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mystic meg unhinged, you sound like a very self-centered person, it sounds to me like you make your own suffering, maybe you should let things be as they are. 100824
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re_alisma mystic meg, please. unhinged is quite the opposite. 100824
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unhinged everyone makes their own suffering. that's what this existence, samsara is. self_made suffering.


(thanks re_lisma. i have felt like everything good i do has gone unnoticed lately. over_extended and under_appreciated *sigh*)
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where did i leave my shiny purple suit? what_is_love 100825
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unhinged sensitive

maybe even hypersensitive




but i've always been comforted by the teachings that say bodhisattva s looked at the world around them and wept.

i know that feeling.



so i leave my light on for those i think need it most; and then stupidly i get snuffed_out .

(are there teachings somewhere that can help me keep a little for myself?)
110307
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unhinged when you walk the edge of a circle you end up right where you started 120413
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a clever disguise Circle_and_cross 120413
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daf You've always been where you started. You've never walked anywhere. There is no circle. The surface of the looking glass changes, but the reflection and the one casting it are unaffected. 120414
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a clever disguise life_is_pain 120414
what's it to you?
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