good_night
Rhin O magic sleep! O comfortable bird,
that broodest o'er the troubled sea of the mind, till it is hush'd and smooth! (Keats)
001204
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Rhin ...you sweet blatherskites! 001204
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V.P. Rhin Good Night Blatherskites, and especially to those recently nominated to the B.P.A. May the perversion be with you! 001205
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Si-Rhin Good night one and all, but especially one!
"Dream a little dream of me!"
001207
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Barrett nite all! g'night Jim Bob! Off to dream of three days of free pizza... 001211
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Rhin (*sigh*, smiling a knowing smile)

This song for one adorable man...
(rendition sang by Nathaniel Cole)

"...In the wee small hours of the morning,
while the whole wide world is fast asleep. You lie awake and think about the girl, and never ever think of counting sheep. When your lonely heart has learned it's lesson, you'd be his if only he would call. In the wee small hours of the morning, That's the time you miss her most of all".

Good Night you sweet Princes & Princess' of Blather land!!!
001211
...
Rhin Count Your Blessings
(Irving Berlin)

(Close your eyes and envision Bing Crosby & Rosemary Clooney harmonizing this one...)

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bank roll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you fall asleep counting your blessings

(repeat verse 2)

(Sweet Dreams - Love You Babe!)
001213
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EECP A good night requires no sleep, only a being perfectly created for you and only you. Unfortunately the being you need seems to be just out of reach. The strange thing is that when you have this "perfect being" with you, you typically do not get any sleep. 001213
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Rhin Good Night! It's raining - The absolutely perfect element for slumber. So, why am I still up, at such a late hour? My thoughts, are in a complete state of chaos. I can't seem to squelch them, but I am going to try. I don't have to wonder what is bothering me. I know exactly what it is... 001216
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Toxic_Kisses Yea, I'm goin to bed, I'm not tired, not in the lest, but I've gone brain dead (I'm sure you all thought I was brain dead long b4 now) and cant seem to think, witch iz probably good kuz than I wont be thinking about that depressing thing I donít want to be thinking about, wait, what depressing thing? *Plays oblivious to depressing things she wishes not to think about*
Yea, and az long az I'm not thinking about that nonexistent depressing thing I probably wont cry either, crying sux when its for personal reasons, cry @ a movie or a moving song and thatís cool, but crying over other things is considered weak, or @ lest it iz when I do it, I think ppl should cry when they want, that after all is their choice and who am I of all ppl to judge them, thatís right, I'm no one, hmmmm Gee now theirs a happy thought, well I shell now leave on this nice happy thought of mine bc I really canít seem to stop rambling and I'm getting rather annoyed by it (az I'm sure you all are az well)
So Good Night and donít bite the bed bugs (They don't taste good)
011017
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lovers lament said good night as i was walking
out the door
but i don't think you heard the
sigh behind my plastic smile
i don't know why i ever thought this would work
loyalty and devotion are definitely not your style
and here i sit,left wanting, this naive
little girl
wonder if you'll even notice the battered expression i wear
it's that darkness threatening to invade my world
the way you let me go makes me think you
never cared

for greg-thanks
011018
...
Rhin (na)
is it?
::sigh::
011108
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Sonya spoiled bitches...women suffered to get you the chance at an education and you don't even want it. It's too bad you can't give it to someone who DOES so it can go to good use. If you parents can pay for it or you got a scholarship or some shit like that that most other can't get, you better damn well appreciate it. Yeah I'm a bitch for saying that but at least I take advantage of what I've got in front of me instead of whining about how hard it is. Newsflash: education is nothing compared to what happens AFTER it or WITHOUT it.

assholes...you're just assholes, nuff said. Go fuck yourselves.

fellow blatherskites...keep churning out the happy, sad, angry, and humorous dribble. We all bitch here, but no one is forcing us to be here, and no one forces us to leave.
011109
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peyton It's 11:36 p.m. I'm giving up and going to bed.

I sit around and watch the phone but no one's calling.

Call me pathetic.

Call me what you will.
011222
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DOG IN HEAT what you will! 011223
...
irate irant I'm feeling like a dog in heat
Barred indoors from the summer heat
011223
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Nathan88 thats all i wanted
miss u
i guess i know how u feel sometimes
sowwy
021216
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Toxic_Kisses wow, sometimes I just don't know when to shut up do I? sheesh!

any who I gotta get up early in the morn, so G'night every one! hope you all have plesent dreams!
030913
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green day "I'm feeling like a dog in heat
barred in doors from the summer STREET
I locked the door to my own cell
and I lost the key..."
030913
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once again Good Night Loves. 040722
...
peyton time to sleep again

it's been a wonderful night, love

everything I've loved about you is still here

thank you for that

good night, my blue angel
050808
...
peyton for all those still here
or there
good night
i go to close my eyes
but before i cease the evening
i will give my hearts nightly wish
of sweetest thoughts
for all the blatherers
that have yet to dream
050811
...
peyton today just goes to show
you never know what's going to happen
when you go out for a sandwich
you could end up just getting food
or
you could end up
with a maelstrom of moral decisions
or
you could end up
a stranger that knows your secrets
or
you could end up
possibilites of pleasure you can't describe
or
you could end up
with a really soggy sandwich
050817
...
peyton All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good
for something
050817
...
peyton I'm not sure what to say.

It's just a whirlwind, isn't it? I feel like I'm collecting little pieces of sanity amid days and days of pandemonium. God I feel so hurt. So restless. I'm bouncing off the walls here.

Doors are slamming in my face as fast as I can find them. The once glowing prospects of home are fading before they are even realized. People have their own lives. I've been gone too long. They've forgotten. They've went on without me.

I don't know what I'm going to do if I get home and it's just like it is here. I seriously am afraid of what will happen then.

I received another crushing e-mail today. One that confirmed something I knew all along, but it makes me sad that now I am meaningless to another person. It's right there in black and white.

Stacey didn't call. I'm not surprised. I know Saturday is her daughter's birthday, so if she does call, I expect it will be tomorrow or not at all. Do I really want to see her again? Yes. Why? Am I just alone here? Am I just so ready for any sort of human contact? Am I that desperate?

In a word, yes.

I should just get out more. Take more trips to Barnes & Noble or random places. It relieved the pressure a little bit. I'm blathering too much, I know that. Spending hours and hours swimming in this blue world is hazardous. There's just so much undertow.

I introduced a new person to Blather today. Seldom do I ever tell anyone about this small refuge.

I'm about to go to sleep. It's 3 a.m. My wrists hurt. It's hot in here. I feel dry and spread thin. I wonder if my skin will crack at the effort of holding me together.

It is still so unbelievable that so many have disappeared so fast. The realization is starting to set in that absolutely no one cares. At least, not in a real, finite way. A sad look, that's what I'm good for.

a_slash_on_each_damned_wrist

I've archived M.G. to the back of the room. We're done, her and I. She's too shallow and wants to pay me back for all the idiot things I did when I was a kid. I can't blame her, but I can't let her abuse me. I don't want to be abused anymore.

I hope that everything works out well in a few months. I hope everything comes together and I'm happy. But I'm burning alive, here, in this place. There is so much I miss. So much that I can't remember why things are like this. Have I made so many wrong decisions? Are so many things in my life so false?

What is real? What can I rely on? How come no matter how loud I scream, no one comes? Am I evil? Have I just burned everyone so badly they can't even look at me anymore?

It would destroy me, but not surprise me, if the answer were yes.

I'm going to sleep. I shouldn't think about this anymore tonight. There will be plenty of time to melt in the morning.

Maybe she'll call.

Maybe I'll be alone.

Maybe the world will end. Maybe it will be mine.
050819
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Strideo we_all fell_asleep
...
050819
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peyton collapsed 050823
...
TK moon...

Couldent sleep, felt like pokeing at blather a bit, I enjoy watching it jiggle like jello ^.^ but now my head feels heavy and empty, so I think it may be a good idea to get some sleep

G'night
050831
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stork daddy good night pretend life. 050831
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z i out 050919
...
peyton i'm very
very dry
and not hardly casual
not
today
drained dry
with ugliness
carve your name
into something permanent
but there's no way i'll remember
and you're so far away
good night
051101
...
Doar black_night 051102
...
peyton i have learned

that sometimes things come out of the blue, and no matter how much you hurt, or long for them to go away, or try to cope, or smile, or cry, or scream, or look away, or confront, or rage, or run

that sometimes

there are no places for these things to go

besides deep within us.. catalogued and chartered and recorded.. deep within our souls like a screaming wound.. touching and bleeding and tearing and pulling

but still

after all that

with everything carried with me
and touching me everyday
i still long for more
gentle unexpected touches
random kindness
that i pick off the ground
and press close to my chest
and dear God
and dear darkness
i love it so much
so please let me press it closer
so that i will never ever forget
i feel on days
and times
like right now
i want to stop it so much
and just cut it to ribbons

because it feels so disgusting
to see so many
just like me
who say the same things
and feel the same things
and think
that I think
they're stupid
or ridiculous
and since they were just little girls
and boys
they've been taught
to hurt themselves
and be something
normal and rationalized
and something that they can't understand
like little square pegs
in round holes
and when they look at themselves
and their scars
and their failed pasts
nothing touches them
and they don't know why
and then
they look at me
with tragic blue eyes
that shine like little oceans
and they say
peyton,
you can't hate me for this
can you?
this is what i am
and for what it's worth
i'm sorry
i don't hate you
sweetheart
i love you
and everything you've done
and when you hurt and you thought i didn't see
i still love you
and i don't mind
when you hurt me
because it's the only way
sweetheart
that i will ever feel
that i've served you at all
and i will go to bed
thinking of you
and how much
i could love
you
in our own little way

good night
i'm so broken
051108
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Sintina Bet your bottom dollar
Tomorrow
There'll be sun.
Que serra, serra.
And I'm not sitting at home with my cats like I should be. I should go see my mom and eat dinner with her or something.
I should get off this keyboard,
stop looking at this screen.
I've written too much today
I feel obscene.
I feel lonely.
But I don't want anybody to hold me.
I get too much of that.
I abuse it.
I abuse all of you.
I'm not worth it.
I'm the coward.
I'm the mosiac tragedy.
The worst thing that could have happened in your life right now was my breakup.
I don't give you enough credit.
You're such a trooper.
Don't worry,
I'll make the phone calls go away.
Good night.
051108
...
peyton there are few ways
where this can end happily
but for now
its sweet
even if
i don't have anything

i'll dream of you
but please
don't look at me anymore
pierced

you're beautiful
and i'm so infatuated
i'm here for you
life goes easy on me
most of the time

with sleep i'll reset
and life will come together again

good night
you made my day too
051112
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x time to have a bath and a nap, if i don't i will loose my potty. 071219
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from