oren I won't tell you... 020114
syringe tell me what? 020114
oren I won't tell you that I'm really not...


I'm not that stupid!
the questioner How stupid are you not? 020114
Mahayana [[[[[[[[[[[why]]]]]]]]]]
do i
'have to question_everything'
cube To not question everything is to make assumptions about some things. This leads to inevitable confusion, or worse...
syringe I question that. 020115
niki why? 020115
ClairE No. 020115
kx21 Why ' No '? 020123
Mahayana why? why no?

+why did i type this
+why did it matter 2 me
+why does she love me
+why isnt she in love with me
+why does she want 2 kiss me, if were only to be friends
+why do i always have 2 wonder why
+why am i always lonely inside
+why do i have 2 be here
+why was i born
+when will i find my calling
+who shall trumpet the message
+where is my spirit guide
+what is their name
+why can i not hear them
+why can i not connect with people
+why do i take everything deeply
+why do i miss her
+why do i ache within
+why am i always & only the [bestFriend]
+am i too ugly is that why
+am i too dumb
+2 slow
+2 sensitive
+2 unwilling to read just the lines
+why are we here, NE of us
+why can i not be a badass like i wanna be
+why was my innerself destined 2 be to compassionate
+why can i not be a player like ive been played
+why do i always give all of me to receive back not even half
+i could go on ... but why
patch It my dear, is probably because you are too ugly. As a rule girls don't like ugly boys, that is just a fact of life.
There are of course ugly girls who probably do like you, but (and here is the bitch) as a rule boys don't like ugly girls, and so you don't like them.

If it is any consolation there will come a time when dire sexual frustration forces you to like ugly girls (believe me it comes to us all sooner or later).

So whats the question?

Why do you like her, she is obviously a bitch. Besides, that whole letting you kiss here even though you are just going to be friends, that is just a power game. There is probably some guy who is a few wrungs higher that her on the attractivness ladder who she can't get and so she is making you wriggle and make one pole tents in your underwear to make herself feel better.

so what is the answer?

Really you have two chices. Either masturbate your way out of the problem, or have that epiphany about ugly girls sooner rather than later, and go and get it wet.
patch seems you might be female.

sorry in that case ignore the above, probably just a mixed sexuality thing,

perhaps lobbying for the ability_to_delete_stupid_blathers
would be a good idea.
SuicidalAngel I wish we could do that!! 020123
ClairE Why do you wish that? 020208
inanna no matter how good you are there is always someone better... no matter what it is or who you are .......there is also someone that it worse, is all relative...AND our perceptions DO vary

maybe there is no truth....only different perceptions.....just because you agree or disagree... does not make either correct....ya know? If you question everything that you think to be fact, perhaps the truth won't hurt as much.......or maybe it will...who knows?
ferret keep your stupid blathes, do not delete them, they will remind you how much you've grown in time. 030711
marked . 031121
marked again . 031121
sameolme are you a donut?
whats it feel like when your sprinkles fall off?

Do you even like coffee?

Which is the hole; the thing they sell for 10 cents a piece or is it the empty
place they left when they ripped out the very heart of you?

I'm sorry, should we talk about something else?
Doar hmmm... 040321
ethereal discovery "Love... the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Twain

all want to be attractive just as all want to be with attractive people. although not all attractive men get with the attractive girls and vis versa. Love and money can still play a large role in the 'uglifing' of the gene pool.
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl why am i not attractive enough? 040321
misstree check and recheck everything
accept nothing on faith
understand margin of error
and bias, and
remember that you are
always being lied to.

question everything
on its way in, border guard
gone wild, doorman with
severe power trip.
nothing is worth
coming into your headspace
search, test, question,
poke, prod, and tear apart

assumptions are inaccuracies based on laziness. over time, drift will accumulate until you're heading for the wrong edge of the world, and you don't know how to read the stars anymore.
Aimee but never expect an answer. They're not all forthcoming, and sometimes, it's just easier to stop asking, accept, and disappear. 040323
oldephebe always remember to get that authentic high viscosity bacon sheen, slather your face in vaseline..yep..good ol' utilitarian, depression era and not ever used for exploring adventurous amorous alternatives and or spicing up the marital and or relationship bed circa 1931 ..well i'm not actually sure about that..will have to consult Marsters and Johnson on that one (sure i know it's masters and johnson but it's just a tribute to a charcter from the joss whedon universe)..any one of whom i'm quite confident in asserting, probably has dipped the ol' engorded wick in an economy sized tub of vaseline as a kind of SSOP* *(Standard Sexual Operating Procedure)..rectal excursions notwhithstanding, slather the ol' face with a quarter sized dollop of vaseline, it's cheap, has no smell and is a nice sheath against those bruising big shoulder big city're good for winds of up to say 65 miles per hour..'cause i'm guessing unless you wheigh in at a hefty 350lbs or so..the face sheathed in vaseline will be pretty much moot as the wind hurls your soft malleable body aloft to be impaled by something mettalic or at least sticking out at a dangerous angle w/r/t your hurtling body..say a tree branch or something..and oh i think the recent spate of...

*pretends to be mesmerized by the dance of light on the parquet floor*
u24 everything? 040323
sameolme yes, that way we'd never have time to
to actually do anything. This could save the world! Or could it?
oE well i'm thinking the whole indice of entropy, you know entire populaces, gov't infrastructures, tin badged ex-highschool football players of remedial and or dubious acedemic pedigree and prowess instead of pummelling ne'er do wells would be ensconced even more so at the local donut purveyor..everything would basically deteriorate thereby leaving us ripe for an agressive and or industrious third world state and or extra-terrestrial power not looking to incure to many casualties upon a potential slave race populace would yeah make short work of us....

man did this one fall flat on its' face
sincerely.. the whole indice of entropy would increase do you work out the math on a populace of 6+billion..and er how do you arrive at a relative mean constant recumbant populace's entropy index?

shilohlives question everything is a good song from 8Stops7... 040323
blahhhhhh damnit? imagine nation after nation, industrialized to aboriginal and or native/agrarian societies frozen in akind of lethargic stasis...that's what i was trying to say...i was extending and exxagerating the already effete post-post-modern malaise or spiritual, emotional and dare i say it? existential turpor...
pretty much adumbrative of an *malaise of not (or)

encroaching sing no sad songs for me..just some gilbert & sullivan...Oh Yeah!
Syrope because it really is all about asking the right questions. answers dont mean anything - facts are the things that have to be proven, questions are always valid.

should_i keep pursuing this?
is there something i_can do?
what_do_you_want from the world when you_hurt?
will this matter in_the_morning?
oldephebe In this craven age of the hollow and supercilious..real passion, real heart of a comet streaking across the sky kind of a conviction and passion is..well ridiculed, regarded with an constrained but ostensibly serviceable verisimilitude of blithe contempt. Even in this passage i'm writing irony has already crept in its prose. I use it quite often especially when dealing with potentially emotionally distressing events, circumstances. I use it when addressing a sibling, my mother even my son and friends. But our emotional, spiritual distress like an insidious industrial plume of exhaust sifts down into us and spreads itself wide, insinuating itself deeply into the strata of our tissue as well as the ol' subconscious. Irony as a rhetorical implement, as a cultural avatar as the quil that blithely pens most of the drecht on free TV is an aesthetic imitated and parroted, that more often than not in the imaginations (if you can call such spiritual and emotional malaise capable of conjuring anything worthy of being called imaginative, "willfully, shallow art" skating fleetingly, faciley, insincerely over our souls encased in amber, nimbly, vainly and so self-consciously like a skater on the ice.

An entire generation of pre-teens are being groomed, instructed by images and caricatures, souless projections with eyes ironed by ice and tongues already adept at the cutting cruelties cast at the less graceful, or less aesthetically pleasing or socially, culturally so called inept. This is what informs the millenial craven prophylactic of personhood. I wrote something here i think on jane's freewrite blathe. I feel I need to remind myself of those words that poured like a pillar of flame from me that night. I guess I'm done pounding the mostly hairless and not quite pudgy fist on the table at the usurpations, the blind and bereft usurpations of a so-called meta-culture that is neglecting and by that neglect hence disfiguring,,atrophying that Godspark within that some identify as a soul. In the words of Appallonia 7 damnit, give me something I can cling to. I think somewhere in the substrata of the soul, out of the atavistic memory there is aboriginal desire for this, this "something" that the soul can cling to.
o...e Damnit! I WANT the sentimentality, I WANT the melodrama, I want SOMEthing to seize me by the soul and make me forget so friggin' completely the my god i wish i could jump out of my skin i think my skeleton will burst into flames from my body if i have to stand one more second if i have to BE in here with this knowledge, with these momries, with this's like being pelted by shards of shadow that tear the skin and then make their home right in there, feeding on the dying echoes of a life once FULLY alive..a LIFE that once felts its breath and reveled, i mean gloriously ecstatic kind of 4 year old toddler just tearing up the ground with his feet laughing at the sensation of the new life pulsating within him..oh god oh god oh god of my fathers take me out of this.. this rain of rickets upon my way too tender skin, you know you know what i so goddamned sincerely mean? If i say it with tears streaming down my face well then f-you call me banal and soft and long will it be before we're all just choked out? A kind of global siezure of the soul is what is what is WHAT i feel, what i run from in my minds eye..the soul of the world is dying under this slick, cultivated veneer..if I hold my hand to my aggrieved heart and bleat the words bleeding in me.. my god, my love, my friend, my child I've done all i can, all that i possibly CAN...! 040323
oldephebe okay so..i feel kinda obliged to say i'm okay, you're mean i don't want to neccessarily abdicate the responsibilities I am wed to, my life..blech..but..we all yearn for authentic emotional experiences..i suspect this is why horror movies are so popular...

latah blather
oldephebe Say there fella. You okay? You sounded positively Godless and stricken up there. Can I slip something softly into the sepulchre that slumbers within your ear? Come on. Wriggle on over here a little closer. I got something I need to say into that burning hole you been talkin' about. You sound almost as whiney and trajic as that damned Danish Prince that there Will Shakespeare wrote about, only w/o the charismatic nobility and such. See here son.."It's in your breaking that you'll be made. "
autmnfyre I think you meant to sign one of your psuedonyms "names" to the that.

And the whole issue of ascribing ones suffering, or expressing a preference of a kind of suffering and or existential crisis as it is embodied by a fictive representation to me over the flesh and blood plight of an in your face living soul is kind of disingenuous and speaks to someone harboring an injurious and or petulant motive and clearly not interested in engaging in an objective and appropriate nomenclature to discuss the two related and yet intrinsically disparate elements of discourse.

I mean, I could argue that "We read to reflect and to be reflected.." in the words of Yale Sterling Professor Literature Alan Bloom. I mean really. We all imbue Hamlet with attributes we see in ourselves, we Americans tend to Romaticize the characters that stride through the tombs of great literature. We each bring the baggage of a weary life when we each begin our own questing perambulations into the heart of the charismatic Dane. Because Shakespeare has so brilliantly portrayed the many currents that run deep in the soul of the Human, we feel like we know Him on a certain level, and we want to know him more deeply as we would any charismatic and or representational totem..wait I think personification is the word I'm looking for here. So..Hamlet represents the personification of the multi-faceted human psyche engaged in the exigencies of a life time. Our hiehgt. Our narrow breadths of being. Hamlet can in one breath be noble, valiant and a genious of exteriorization and at the same time vain, selfish darkened by his own fathomless needy solipsism. Hamlet if I may say is Shakespeare's aesthetic singularity. No. Wait. Hamlet is Western Culture's nay the Western Canon's aesthetic singularity out of which all else is informed.
young pretender because everything_is_temporary 041129
like the validity of this blathe 041129
fix 041129
;) COL...

jane why? 041130
hencewhat Everything exists 'tween black and white
You can twist and distort the most blatant of lies
Or just offer up solutions
Practiced only in your mind
I lost half my life to wisdom
So forgive me if I come off sounding bitter
oren Are_you talkin' to_me? 051126
what's it to you?
who go