jesus_saves
the wages of sin is grendel yeah, maybe...

but what i want to know is:

A) what kind of interest rate is He getting?

B) are His deposits insured, and if so, by whom?

c) how do i get in on the scam He's got going?
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The Schleiffen Man Jesus saves....

Gretzkey gets the puck! He shoots! HE SCORES!
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silentbob jesus saves, gretsky scores....schlieffen, have you been listening to Less Talk, More Rock again? 000801
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twiggie jesus saves! by using double coupons and shopping wisely. 001214
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Catholocism WoW! Jesus Christ was a Vampire
Jesus Christ was a homosexual
Jesus Christ was a bastard child
Jesus Christ was a black man
Jesus Christ was an Eastern Philosopher
Jesus Christ DOES NOT EXIST!
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tourist His used chewing gum on the Bed post overnight. 001215
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j_blue eewwww 001215
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Angry Religious Protesters jesus died for YOU john lennon! 001221
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Rickster Jesus saves foodstamps in a Menuedo Can they store cash in, he is still around I actually smoke the bong with him quite often, pretty funny guy but the bastard cheats at poker. That's not cool, it was cool when he spilled the bong and we all gotta line up and take punched for the party foul. Good times I say. 021231
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p2 Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"

God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
021231
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satan satan satan (at least every ten minutes or so) 021231
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Teenage Jesus Yeah. And now I've only got 186MB left on my hard drive. 030101
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scuzz hmm, obviously not a serious page. oh well 030101
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Rickster How far can seriousness be taken with Jesus Saves? I mean it's like supporting the World Wild Life Foundation anymore isn't it? 030101
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megan Jesus loves me,
This I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak,
but He is strong.
Yes,
jesus loves me.
Yes,
Jesus loves me,
Yes,
Jesus loves me,
The Bible tells me so.


*It's time to go back to my roots, to see what my faith is really about.
It's not about a nativity set we get out at Christmas, it's not all those silly made up people at church, and it's most definitely not a religion. It's my love. It's my desire in this life. I want to be closer to Him. Because He does save, no matter what the rest of you say. And He does love us all, even if you can't see that right now. Jesus saves, amen, He does.
030101
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Teenage Jesus Fuck_jesus.

Oh, wait a minute...
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satan x3 caught yerself there, eh TJ? 030102
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Teenage Jesus ...still foggy from New Years Eve. 030102
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cr1sc0tw1st3r The remoursefulness of lost souls, combined their effort still means nothing. Sheep without shepard, only free unto nature, nature guiding them all. Can it be calculated by a sign, or a number, or a size, or a color, or a race, or a being, or a state, or a place, nothing is as it seems. Perhaps the fading light that replenishes the lost, keeps the brutality at bay. Is it an Act of God? Does it have anything to do with Jesus and his qualms with mankind, why must it all fall upon him, a man who merely enlightened the uninspired. Perhaps the fuel of the monster is within the lack of faith, among the church, and people all around, false beliefs, living lies. Jesus taught nothing but to be true to yourself, and neighbor, yet you attend church and call it your sanctuary, where such is common-place to advert from the directive. Perhaps your guiding light was always there to betray you, like the snake, and the apple, your falsities only bind you to your human shell. Your soul cannot be sold, for it is immortal by some means of nature, yet unique only to the small vastness of human knowledge. The universe so grand, yet we envision we are alone, by ourselves amidst endless space and time. Can it be, that we are all there is left, or was, or is. 030407
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minnesota_chris i dunno what bible you're reading! heh heh the gospel of Ernie 030407
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third eye blind a silver lining of clouds
shines on people jesus couldn't save
you wanna know how deeply my soul goes
deeper than bones
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User24 jesus_saves is a good song by slayer 030409
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User24 lmao@p2 030409
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Grace No,it's true.

Jesus saves..

I wish the world didn't try to make it into a joke,those two simply beautiful life-changing, Eternity-altering words..


But once our words are in the world.. how truly responsible are we for how they're read? Or how men see them?
Or how they're thrown around like-so much chopped meat-HE was..And He was/is God.
Why should such bandying about His name be so shocking anyway? No one believed Him then, and they saw Him. Mocked then and now. Still,He's the same God,with the same Glory. And He's real. The Ultimate reality, Christ.Yes,Jesus saves..

What a lost lost world..
I'm glad they have the grids of internet posts and chat havens to catch the falling words that are meaningless and float like puffs of nothingness (I'm sorry:)) around the saying of His name..

Demons tremble. Catch wise

Jesus saves.

But not because varying shades of shlock,mocking,jokes or kitsch about this phrase or His name make it so.
Or neon signs next to bars and gin joints.Or jokes in movies or magazines..

Just because, He does..

Wish I could add some pithy or profound reply, or even a mildly angered one.
Can't.

His redemptive work,that's why.And,I'm tired.

Jesus is my God, and my Life.

Putting His name in the same phrase as any other word..clearly does not make Him any other man..




GraceandGlory 2003






*megan ,thank-you
you said it well..

More on this topic maybe sometime. But the answer will stiil be the same..:)
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Grace Oh yea..

to fellow (?) # 1 post here,reply:

Interest?

Depends on the status of the soul.
Who He's "popular" with, diverse a crowd. Too numerous. God never goes "out of style".Nor always so "popular" His Word says that too.. We will Always need Him..regardless of words..time..life conditions..etc.

Deposited?

His Life for our souls.God and God's Son.His Blood as a sacrifice Lamb to attone for all mankind's sin..Uhm let me see..what else..Hemmm

Scams?

Surely many try In His name.
Shiney cars and sharp suits too. There will be liars.He said so..
I'm not.More of us are saved.yea..:)
But no one mnetions the billions of us .holding up a few to a scrutinising light "as if" they're God.
They're not.Jesus is..
But, anyway..

Christ is Truth
Truth cant Lie
And scams are lies

Goodnight

peace
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oldephebe Grace and Megan thank you for saying it so well. I can't add any thing to it. 030806
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misstree yeah, cthulu saves too... in case he's hungry later.

anyone who's seen more than two of my posts knows that i have no qualms about offending people... but i do have to say that while i make jokes about phrases like jesus saves and cthulu saves and things like that, i've got respect for a lot of christians... yeah, there are the scammers and the ones that think their morals should be put upon all others and the ones that think i'm going to burn in hell for thinking that jesus was a really cool guy with lots of great ideas that have been corrupted by 2000 years of power mongers, but overall, most of the christians i've known have just been full of faith and love, many of them with very well-thought out beliefs (one of my best friends is a linguists specialist and bible scholar), and don't go trying to shove their morals or beliefs down people's throats.

yeah. just a dose of the anti-bitter from the hung over wretch in the corner. carry on.
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misstree oh yeah, and i love the programming joke, p2. gotta pass that one on. :) 030806
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Strideo not only did he die for your sins but he's a thrifty consumer. what a guy . .
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Dark God What has happened to humankind that has made them so blindly arrogant?

Did you forget these are merely stories to inspire the uninspired? To enlighten the unenlightned? To show hope of a prosperous life, capable through showing mercy to thine self firstly, and thine neighbor second. Did we forget that we are here to be taught as sheep, to be herded as as the shepard wills? Can it not be seen that religion is no longer based upon a belief in God, but money?

What has happened to a time when men sacrificed themselves for a God he'd never seen or spoken too, yet his faith guided him until the end. And what purpose has faith in a world so full of evil tyrants everywhere that you look? While there can be a thousand very good peasants, with hearts that guide them and faith that allows them to continue to survive the malice of todays insanity, there will always be in rule, the evil ones whom shadow over the world. The valley of darkness has grown so large, there is no place that its mark is not left upon.

Search high and low, for a place you can truly call a sanctuary, and look in history for the answers. You will find there is no one place where man has not defiled the presence of a society based upon peace. While we consider ourselves timid beasts by nature, our greed has always consumed us and led us to the destruction of everything beautiful we have created, mankind and its usefulness for this earth are fading slowly. Can we truly say we are the children of God, as we simply destroy everything that is made to help societies prosper? Can we honestly hold on forever to the belief in the God's we choose to follow? What happens if the answer ever becomes clear, will mayhem, and panic run rampant through the streets everywhere? Are we at a level of ingenius that we could withstand such a finding of information that confirms the belief structure throughout the entire world?

I believe we search for a different answer that accompanies much more then finding a structure to a belief, or a path to our God's glory. We speak the truth in our hearts and mind, of what justice may truly be. This act is something we do without thinking or knowing, it is simply in our nature to analyze and judge, what we see, or feel, or hear, or need, or want. We constantly scrutinize ourselves for the small things that make us unique, as the rest of society displays the ideal of a perfect 'being', more or less creating a perfect 'society' of mindless soldiers that believe anything they are told. We, for centuries, have been in this same groove of evolution of society, and it has held us back more-so then anything throughout history.

Because we have been so blinded by our own ambitions to reach for something we do not comprehend, we simply try and dismiss the ideals of others alike, that share the facism and zealous nature of following their faith, because we feel ours is the better answer. As the Govt' manipulates those with faith in each church, it gets worse as generations go on, but we allow ourselves to believe everything that is said is the will of God. Continuing on with the story of our lives, we put any and everything behind us. It is the trail of these shadows that binds us to what makes us exist, as humans, that allows us to reconsile for the departure of faith. Faith, as well as misguided conceptions, has many uses in life. While most always use it for the wrong, as history has taught us, it has been the key and salvation to many millions alike, for centuries.

If we can think of what truly is the reasoning behind all of the things we see in this world, the spiritual energy that lyes all around us, the feelings you get when a room 'consumes' you, rather then you, it. It is a world without meaning, in todays culture. As society continues its degression of its own nature, we too, as influenced by our nature, or surroundings as some will only accept it, continue to fall upon that same dreary path. We can never truly reach the real path of the enlightned, as magic has not existed in many hundreds of years. True belief in fairy tales is the only existence and and closure you will find with your God, you seek.
031208
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celestias shadow p2, you rock. I have to tell that one to my computer geek friends. *grins*


if man is 5,
if the devil is 6,
then god is 7
~the pixies


so where does that put jesus? somewhere around 6 1/2?
031208
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girl_jane Maybe the pixies are Jewish and don't believe in Jesus... 031208
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celestias shadow wtf? Jewish people belive in jesus! what the hell are you talking about? they acknowledge him in their religion! They just don't buy into the whole 'jesus saves' crock of shit. 031212
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lenore jesus saves sinners and renews them for cash and valuable prizes. 040107
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