if_i_would_have_done_what_i_was_thinking psychobabe if i would have done what i was thinking last night, i dont know what would have happend. You were there, and i wanted you soo bad...looking at you across the fire, i saw the blaze in your eyes, and i saw what was ment of this all... "the boy that you loved is the man that you fear. Pray until your numb, asleep from all the pain." Those lyrics ring in my head, they were what you told me. I wanted you so bad. Why didnt i do what i was thinking? if i would have, would i still be here? Would i have made it home? Would people have been pissed at me? for wanting you, for taking you, for haveing what i wanted... "pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream, the cut that never heals" More lyrics that you told me while we were walking in the woods alone, "i am so entangeled in my sins that i can not escape" More and more we walked, more and more i wanted you. Why didnt i do what i was thinking? How did you feal? what if what i would have done would have made things better? what if it would have made them worse? "pray now baby pray your life was just a dream..." I should have done what i was thinking. 010428 ... Aimee I finally did what I was thinking, and I don't regret it. I never will. Sometimes being impulsive is good for you. Very good for you. 010428 ... psychobabe indeed 010428 ... kx21 and regardless of others' feeling:- It's very likely to be a Shit... 010429 ... unhinged i'm in the process of doing what i should but it's that thing where you are holding your own hand back because you are afraid to click the goddamn button. 010429 ... pinkish I would have lost the most wonderful and important thing in my life. le sigh 010430 ... chanaka i don't know what would have happened. nothing good, i don't think. this weekend is another matter, however. i should do what i am thinking... 010430 ... Dafremen I would have been pushing up grass at Swan Lake Memorial Gardens or some similarly named place. Thank gawd I DIDN'T do it, man not even a month went by and my life was like 2000% better. I almost KILLEd myself over THAT?! What if I had done it? Man that would have been stupid, sure glad I decided not to. Of course, come to think of it, wasn't deciding NOT to...was THAT what I was thinking at the time? Catch-22, paradoxical dilemma type thing there. P.S. Being young, dumb and emotionally stupid is NOT something that you folx have a monopoly on. Hell even I'M not an innovator in those areas. - - 010430 ... psychobabe oh dafreman i love ya :) :) :) :) 010501 ... .sunshine. i would have kissed you. 010505 ... keeper ...well i think you already know that one 010505 ... melvinwang i would either be worse off, much worse, or better off, much better i tend to think it is the first one, since every decision i make on instinct leads to failure 010506 ... psychobabe i would have told you i loved you 010508 ... Dafremen Ahhh, but you DID...remember?! 010509 ... lost if i would have done what i was thinking i would either be happilly dead, or unkowingly disabled.NO i wouldnt i would be in another place. not here. not now. not ever. 010509 ... s!m depression ehhh.... forget it boring 010509 ... denzel My dick would no longer be attached! Hahahahahaha!!! Hahahahahaha!!! 010509 ... nocturnal no, that's what would have happened if you weren't such a coward. 010509 ... like rain. the world could be gone, or the world could be transformed. crumbled or renewed, birthed or slaughtered. no one will ever know. 010510 ... silentbob her lips wouldn't be virginic anymore she'd have more kissing experience than anyone 010511 ... psychobabe oOh yea dafreman! i forgot, oh plz forgive me! but if i would have done what i was thinking last night, i would have had fun! 010513 ... cali j I would be a very bad girl...restraint sucks 010523 ... loser I would have told him that i didnt want that...that I wanted to just kiss and be drunk but i am a pushover that cant say what I feel, I cant tell anyone no. I am a slut but only because you show me you want me to be ad what can i do...nothing. 010605 ... Dafremen Bought myself a pair of day-glo orange Sierra Madre ST's from the Dog_Boot_Company, but NOOOO I had to buy Keds. These shoes suck. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20 they say. 010605 ... unique butterfly whoa katie, i came across this by accident!! what's going on? i haven't talked to you forever so i realy don't have a clue... you ok? 010606 ... Sol except i cant fly, and you live too far away 010607 ... constella you called we talked you and i met up down the street what was i thinking? our friends went off we were left alone our lips touched and our emotions raged what was i thinking? we lied down your hands on my body i wanted so bad for this to never stop what was i thinking? my real brain kickes in my hand reaches yours my brain stops listening to my body what was i thinking? you are suprised i can tell our connection is broken what was i thinking? our friends eventually return we get up and walk around we talk but words have no meaning what was i thinking? 010627 ... tears of the night I would have kissed you that day that you were staring at me trying to piss me off. Your face was not to far from mine. I wish that i would have kissed you, but there were too many people around. And i don't have the courage to do so. 010627 ... Casey I should have told her how I felt. We had never touched, only talked. She and I were both single, and we got along great. But I was shy and scared, so I never asked. Now she has a boyfriend and is very happy 010627 ... pinkish My ass would be in jail and you would be somewhere in the ocean off hermosa beach with cement shoes on. buy hey, I'm nice like that 010707 ... yummychuckle i wouldn't be here to type the response. i would be dead, who knows where. 010708 ... psychobabe if i would have done what i was thinking...hmmm that has so much meaning to it. I've read all the things that people have written and heh, i've come to say this is a very good blather worthy topic. If i would have done what i was thinking, i would have told you just one more time i love you. If i would have done what i was thinking, i would have kissed you just one more time before you left. If i would have done what i was thinking, i would have held you longer, and kept you pinned to the bed ;) If i would have done what i was thinking, i would have stayed forever with you, until the sun burns out, and the moon caves in. Mainly if i would have done what i was thinking matt, i would have just told you i love you one more time before you had to leave :) 010717 ... Aimee I would have called her back and said "Fuck you! I can't help how I feel about him and if i could i wouldn't. Who the hell are you to tell me how to feel... when did that become your place? And what does it matter if I don't tell my mother? That's none of your business! This is my life not yours! I just happen to be dating your son, and quite honestly, if you want a love life to meddle with, get one of your own and get the fuck out of mine!" 010717 ... black-dyed gel product I might be better off 010717 ... psychobabe eh, if i would have done what i was thinking? damn thats a hard question. I dunno stuff would maybe gone farther, maybe things would have been fucked up, maybe i could have stayed longer. Hell if i would dont what i was thinking, i'm pretty sure i would have had one hell of a time. More fun than i already think it was : ) 010825 ... youll find out I would of kissed you, I would of called you, I would of hugged you, I would of cryied in your arms, I would of held you hand. I would of told you that i love you. It's all to the same person. He does not even know. But you don't like me anyways. So i have to sit here and be a great friend, to you, and talk to you everyday. just becuase i love you and want to be near you, becuase you will never want anything more with me 010918 ... silentbob why does my heart always beat before yours does? 010919 ... nah....! i would be there right now, asleep with you. 011113 ... Aaron with her.. i would have called instead of just going out with the guys... and with her, i would have called her back and begged.. or maybe i would have cussed her out.. and with her... i would have told her to go fuck yerself.. 011113 ... psychobabe grrr i'd probably would have kissed ya bryan! but damnit i dont know whats holding me back and its killing me day by day! holding back my mind within my soul filled head! Blocking all thinking, waiting for the time to pass! 011113 ... Jenna Today, if I had done what I was thinking, I would have introduced myself to that cute guy at the bus stop. He had long rock star hair that fell down around his face, sandals and and a tye-dye shirt. He looked pensively out into the distance. He looked perfect for me. What I am looking for. But I have no courage. Just as well. He was completely out of my league anyway. 011113 ... Rhinna What wouldn't I have done! All of the above & everything below! 011114 ... lo we would have probably been arrested for indecency or perhaps you would have slapped a restraining order on me...who knows? 030606 ... a sweet girl i wouldn't be wondering now 030606 ... User24 psychobabe; track 16, man that you fear, antichrist_superstar the ants are in the sugar the muscles atrophied we're on the other side, the screen is us and we're t.v. spread me open, sticking to my pointy ribs are all your infants in abortion cribs I was born into this everything turns to shit the boy that you loved is the man that you fear pray until your number, asleep from all your pain, your apple has been rotting tomorrow's turned up dead i have it all and i have no choice but to i'll make everyone pay and you will see you can kill yourself now because you're dead in my mind the boy that you loved is the monster you fear peel off all those eyes and crawl into the dark, you've poisoned all of your children to camouflage your scars pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fear pray your life was just a dream the cut that never heals pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream (I am so tangled in my sins that I cannot escape) pinch the head off, collapse me like a weed someone had to go this far I was born into this everything turns to shit the boy that you loved is the man that you fear peel off all those eyes and crawl into the dark, you've poisoned all of your children to camouflage your scars pray unto the splinters, pray unto your fear pray your life was just a dream the cut that never heals pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream the world in my hands, there's no one left to hear you scream there's no one left for you 030629 ... User24 when all of your wishes are granted many of your dreams will be destroyed 030629 ... lenore i would have called him back. i would have told him what was wrong. i would have told him i loved him. and things would have been different. 031210 ... pipedream i wouldn't have a piece of not-bad writing in the back of a notebook, would i...i also wouldn't have the imagining but the reality of it. my my, wouldn't a lot of people be surprised; at least i can be smug inside my head. heh. 031211 ... werewolf sometimes being loved when you expected hate is just as unsettling. every night when i'm coming home from some late night distraction, i see the same house with it's front door wide open, the entrance looming darker than the dark. who has left? should i enter? must i? tomorrow morning will be another happening. babies will contract hiv from their mother's breast milk in a village hamlet near dirty water somewhere, a stripper will turn 40. i'll drink cancer from the sun. the day will end with orange peels in a plastic bag, moisture sweltering from them, seeking sky or skin, visiting a new manger for another sacred birth. people will have to be what i expect of them, unless they can be different in some way i can touch, some primary atomic sense, something i can't fake. a touch a kiss can be like consoling a morner by saying, i know how you feel, but it is everything and the only thing you can or should do. and god i love you girl, and what does that mean i don't love? in your kiss if i strain, there is everything i think i'd find in a spin around a globe that is a toy to america, you're an amateur bodhisattva and so am i. we hold on because we think we're saving each other, because we think we're saving each other, we destroy ourselves. 031212 ... pipedream would like to say something but doesn't know what, so will just sit and nod appreciatively 031213 ... endless desire im lucking that wishes don't come true ive wished i was dead too many times. 031213 ... secret4185 He would've driven off the road considering how violently I wanted to kiss him. I'd just look at him, and his stupid haircut, driving too fast up my road, taking me home. I wanted to taste him so badly, he might've gone along with it, it was 3 am, he would've been too tired to realize what we had done. I would've felt wonderful then, but I dunno if I could look him in the face now, if I had done it. 031217 ... niki i would not have eaten the quarter pounder and fries....oy my tummy 031218 ... no reason i'd have danced 031219 ... chuckles i would have done exactly what i did. it was that i wasn't thinking of the right thing to do. should have touched her - nothing weird, i just mean her hair or face or put my arm around her. then i should have kissed her. didn't though, and so ensued about five hours of awkwardness before she left. 050831 ... unhinged they would have had to call an ambulance to peel her off the kitchen floor of that house. 050831 what's it to you? who go blather from