how_to_lose_friends_and_alienate_people jane saw this book in the window of a bookstore in new york and i laughed out loud and knew i had to go inside 020820 ... fred lol jane that kicks ass 020905 ... sabbie i dont need to buy the book ive got it all worked out already 020906 ... Sonya Convince yourself the world is out to get you and only you. Don't let them in. Make them feel stupid for attempting to show they care. Drown yourself in self pity and make them miserable through your own. 020906 ... daxle be yourself 020906 ... somewhere in nowhere daxle is right 020906 ... reitoei do away with polite filler conversations. give honest opinions. in short, be frank and disillusioning. people live in safe, velvet lined boxes. take them out and they shrivel in reality. and people generally hate everyone's natural state; they only like the people they perceive. if you need any help beyond that, just let me know. my expert advice is always available 020907 ... ashmanzhou convince thyself that thou hast truly found thyself and in this finding satisfaction shall be possessed satisfaction shall but not eternal be for ever the lonliness burns inside thee and burning it splinters thy soul into ashes and thou seethe and hate and curseth the world and the world doth do so back and it batters thee but thou art safe in thy selfhated solemnity 030728 ... inane never call anyone never leave the house take a voluntary vow of silence borrow clothes and never return them ignore those who speak to you walk around with a finger up your butt and offer to shake everyone's hand 030728 ... inanna The book mentioned is obviously a parody of the classic book How to Make Friends and Influence People 030728 ... carlita i have a book called you_are_worthless. it's the funniest thing i've ever read, full of lines like "you'll never be truly loved" and "your mother hates you" and things of the sort. i was mad at my boyfriend when i bought, but i'm glad i never got the guts to give it to him, becuase we're doing fine now. he'd probably get a kick out of it anyway, as long as he doesn't know i bought it thinking of him... 030728 ... eyedream daxle is wrong smiles 030728 ... Syrope detail to them exactly how to hurt you. they'll either hurt you eventually and you can blame them for knowing (their offense being premeditated) or they'll run away in fear at the beginning 030729 ... hey now! be selfish and inconsiderate and get pissed at people for how they feel and tell them to leave you alone and walk away when they try to talk to you about it 030729 ... niska kiss the boys and make them cry. 030729 ... blah-ze being yourself isnt always good 'specially when you are a blood crazed sociopathic sociophobe with no life to speak of ;) 030729 ... blown cherry I'm not being invited to parties anymore 030730 ... pobodys nerfect Parody books are great. I have one called "chicken poop for the soul". The stories are really funny. :) 030730 ... librarian 'the gas we pass - the story of farts', by shinta cho. check it out. it's worth a read. great for the coffee table. 030801 ... minnesota_chris People will like you for being yourself. Unless you're naturally unhappy or unattractive, then you're SOL. 030811 ... Catwalk People will like you for being yourself. Unless you're unnaturally happy. And bouncy. And cheerful. Etc. 030912 ... nocturnal I did an EXCELLENT job of this a couple weeks ago, so I shall share my wisdom with you all now. here's what you do: 1) get incredibly drunk with a group of new friends whom you've basically just met; 2) once drunk, tag along with them to a party of which you know nothing and where you are guaranteed to know no one; 3) the group accompanying you must be large enough so that, for some reason, they are not allowed in to the party; 4) go in anyway as if they aren't your only ride home, thus finding yourself stranded and having made quite the ass of yourself to these people kind enough to get you drunk and take you out with them for the first time. it's a fool-proof plan to keep them from ever wanting to hang out with you again. 030913 ... Dafremen I found you, you fiery dominatrix...who0z been on the penile chopping block of late? 030913 ... Dafremen 1. Read them a selection of my "favorite" writings: claptrap what_is_art meet_roger_dafremen this_blathe_used_to_be_a_continent 030913 ... misstree puke on their shoes 030913 ... DannyH Tell them what you really think. 030917 ... Lemon_Soda Hate them. Let them know what's wrong with them. don't give them the chance to argue the point. 030917 ... Arwyn get pregnant 030917 ... shiva easy: step 1: move forward in life. step 2: depend on your friends to be there for you during the transition. you will be abandoned in no time. 030917 ... nomatter step 1: Slit my throat step 2: play in my blood step 3: cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house step 4: stop off at edgebrook creek and rinse those crimson hands. YOu took me hostage and made your demands, I couldn't meet them so you cut of my fingers one by one. 030924 ... Mahayana hit on your friends girlfriend multiple times & [make comments here and there] try to dance with her and when she backs away touch her lovingly on the face when youre looking into her eyes & then later on when you are called on your actions act like you had no idea what you were doing- it was all unintentional- yeah right. [i might not have been anything to you worth missing now that i am gone ex-friend, ...im very forgiving- too forgiving, but you crossed the one line that betrays me the most, i never ever would have done what you have done to me... and like the scorpio that i am- you never wanna betray me, and especially for something i hold true and dear to my very being... theres no going back] [and yes i am still disappointed in you- this will never change] [and to me you no longer are real] 030924 ... Glory Box fall in love with them. that'll do it every time. 030928 ... who cares yeah take the sacred blood brother moments we had and just piss on them with the bile and venom of your encephalic ego of continental breadth..i've seen to many of your sociopathic cons..stay the hell away from me and any one i care about..your dead to me!! you know what you've done, the whole mountians of deceit..i can't believe i ver honored you..looked up to you..a man should live by his word..if he loses that what does he have left..man you've got no integrity..cna't believe i let you play me all those years..i loved you like a brother man..and would've faought any battle..would've taken the blows onn your behalf..would've walke right with you into the arms of hell man...you know that..and so being the great intuitive psychologist and mind congugal maestro..you exploited those aspects of my persona time and time again..you never gave a damn about the blood brother ties we'd forged..the next time your ass needs pulling out of the fire..go seek out your reflection.. once a man loses his integrity what does he have left? ... 030929 ... celestias shadow i think daxle and glory box are right. i heartily agree. 031104 ... misstree is drunk again give them the poetry that you wriet to/about them. see: ******* 031105 ... Mandijabster ah yes...just be yourself. after a while, you won't have any friends. quite a weird concept. today i witnessed a girl getting yelled at by her best friend for being herself. the world is a weird place...but being alone is fun as well, ya dont need people. ok i lied, some of us do, such as becky and jill. jill...if i were not here for her she'd be crying right now...poor kid 031105 ... silentbob be honest and give them unwanted advice 031105 ... Whitechocolatewalrus Tell people you are depressed and hate yourself and then refuse to tell them why. They think that they are being used and tell other people that you have mental problems and everyone beleives them because one day they saw you dancing around in the middle of class. When they asked you what you were doing, you said that you were dancing with a ghost of a dinosaur. 031128 ... her royal highness the quirk i have the perfect plan have your best friend's lover confess to you (and your best friend) that he has a crush on you it's a guaranteed way to turn the best of friends into complete strangers who happen to coexist in the same world but who also pretend the other doesn't exist 040112 ... smurfus rex glory box hit it on the head... that's how it worked for me. (it also helps to move 700 miles away) 040112 ... dudeinanigloo I disagree with daxle (020906), because I act myself around my friends and it hasn't done me any harm. It's just some of them who don't act themselves, and many other people think that they are total weirdos because of that. 040713 ... gemaniacal spend eternity in love with someone you cant have who then decides you can have her but raises the bar so far above you that it condemns you to repeated failure and subsequently decides that you have been insane all along *poof* gone 041216 ... me hmm... spend all time saying "leave me alone" and lashing out at everyone and everything in hopes that someone will interpret that correctly as "hi will you be my friend?" 041216 ... who cares? I'm real good at that. Alienating people and lashing out and trying to act like I'm all set apart and secure in the rarefied air of an aloofness and alienation and isolation threaded by the inadvertant idiosyncrasies of my personality. Oh, I've got my piety and my public TV and my enobling and indefagitable struggle against a body that is worse off than some and a hell of a lot better than others, and why does dealing with any kind of physical issue, one that I've dealt with since I was a kid, why does that make it enobling? shouldn't I be used to it by now? where's the zen etudes? so I've got mu piety and my public TV and lines upon lines of sentences said only to an empty barren page in a spiral notebook 041217 ... andru235 inform people of their infinite nature 050421 ... hsg believe in yourself. eventually people find their own lack of self_esteem threatened. they will leave you to reassure themselves that they are worthless. it's sad, but that doesn't mean you should stop believing in yourself. along the same lines is standing behind your beliefs. not that we shouldn't ? or reconsider them in order to discover new things. you may lose many aquaintences. you'll develop real friends. 061017 ... Christ without the cross Yep, believe in yourself, it will invite envy. Be happy, it will invite jealousy. Be honest. You will eventually offend everyone. Be real. You will have a lot of people to talk about you behind your back. But who cares. The real friends will eventually return to you realizing that you did nothing. So what have you really lost when you can finally be yourself. 061017 ... hsg u will have lost lies. thIS a good thing. 061115 ... tin girl stop calling them. stop returning their emails, ignore their ims, just shove your fingers in your ears until they stop trying. all because you think they don't love you when you're like this. 061115 ... tessa i don't know what i did wrong 061115 ... nom i keep fucking everything up! 070107 ... fuffle can i buy a self help book on this maybe? 080502 ... Tenon Break promises until you're not asked to make any more. 080503 what's it to you? who go blather from