at_my_funeral Casey Silentbob,I've been thinking about death lately, and if I were to die, I would like these things carried out please. 1. My ribbons will be black and another color, pick a good one. 2. Not only my class and family will be in the actual chruch, but also my friends, like those who are juniors and sophmores. Have like an exclusive club list at the door, and have huge bouncer-like people wearing sun glasses at the doors asking if they are on the list. 3.You can be a casket bearer if you like, you and my neighbors, and anyone else. I just want them to be more along the lines of my friends then my family. 4. Play some damn good music, some sad, some upbeat, get some Ben Folds in there. Magic and Fred Jones Part 2 will work good. And anything else good. 5. If the chruch isn't packed to the brim with people, go outside and pull random people off the streets. 6. Get my family to make a ton of food. And offer some to the strangers you pull off the streets too, it's the least we can do. 7. Make sure they shave this stupid beard off me. 8. Don't let my family ruin the funeral, make them take advice from you guys on what should happen. Use this blather as a testimony 9. Do some other stuff, if I'm not satisfied I'll come back and haunt you, so there 011022 ... nocturnal I want a jazz funeral. I want it to hold up traffic for hours; as much if not more than a parade. I want you all there and I want all my friends there. I mostly want all my friends there because if they're there, it means I wouldn't have had to see any of them die. I hope people don't say, "why should I pay my respects to her? she never paid me any respect when she was alive." I know many people who could easily say that about me and I hope they don't hold a grudge. I also want a huge tomb. I know I'll be sleeping in Lake Lawn Metarie with the rest of my family, and the funeral services will most likely be at Holy Name church on St. Charles Ave. I want the stone of the tomb to be coloured. a deep grey would be nice. just not white. what it says on the front is to be left up to my friends, not my family. see y'all there! 011023 ... TalviFatin I'm hoping everyone will have a great time at the wake. Just like my grandfather's. The house was stuffed to the gills. We all broke out the Italian family wine, ate cheese, played cards (Smear, of course...) and everyone got drunk, laughed, split a gut, partied, and woke up the neighbors. Good thing I took everyone's keys. 011107 ... superslutstar *everyone will sit in a pitch black room with few lit candles... the doors will be locked and they cannot leave... no one will speak... everyone will listen... listen as my life is told through music... at the end, a movie screen will depict me and a loved one having fun one last time... no more than a minute will be shown... then... lights. tears. exits. 011108 ... aliceinchains you'd be well advised not to plan my funeral before the body dies 011108 ... Casey I'm not very chummy with my pastor, so instead of him speaking about me, I want others that know me better to speak about their memories of me, good or bad, whatever works. 011108 ... ME THANK YOU 020402 ... bethany on those suicide pamphlets for teenagers one of the signs along with depression etc., is planning your own funeral i want the 6th movement of mozart's requiem, rex. it's a bit played out but, goddamn it's beautiful. and after reading go ask alice i never want to be put in the ground 020402 ... little wonder i don't want a funeral like jackie's. maybe like my grandma's. probably something much different though. my dad wants his funeral in our house. like they used to do. i don't think i can handle that. 020403 ... Arwyn No coffin... just wrap me up in a white linen and drop me in the earth.... However at the service... I expect it to be done in latin... the true language.. and I want the entirety of Mozart's Requiem sung... I want a death Mass! 020403 ... jessica fletcher i want my high school band to play "on a hymnsong of philip bliss" because it's based on the hymn "it is well with my soul." when my dog died i played it for her.*tear* also, i want someone to kiss my forehead and softly rub my eyelids like my mom always did when i needed sleep and couldn't find any(i just hope my skin stays on) i want it to be pot-luck because food is sooooooo therapeutic. i want someone to talk about how cool i was without having to lie i want my mom to not be too hurt because i love her more than anything. i want someone to play some bagpipes and break dance because comedic relief is a big deal to me. 020516 ... Freak I would want my sister to know that even though we always fight I love her and wouldn't trade her for the world. I would want my brother to know the same thing and that he's lucky to have my step dad as a father sense his was never around. I would want my mom to know that I thank her for being the best mother she knew how to be and raising me the way she did. I would want my dad to know that I love him more than anything even though he was/is never around. I would want "sirflaccid" to know that I thank him for making me one of the happiest people on earth and I would want him to give me one last kiss on the forehead. I would want the rest of my family and friends to know that I love them all dearly. After the funeral I would like to be cremated and my ashes spread somewhere where everything is nice and calm. Then I would want everyone else to live the rest of their lives the best they can without wasting time wishing I could be with them. 020516 ... stork daddy alright...let's do this...i always forget how many things i want done...but first of all...i want female bodybuilders as my pallbearers and i want the front row to be reserved for the ferrets in tuxedoes. Then i want...a mariachi band. And one of my friends (out of the two) is gonna sing "sexual healing." Also i'm going to pay someone famous to come to my funeral so people will be like whoa...and then when they ask for memories or whatever...he'll rip into me...as per the speech i give him. There will be a pressure valve on the kneeler so when someone comes to pay respects i sit up and a recording of my voice plays "i always hated you" or "you were my favorite" randomly. also...techno music...techno music at the funeral preferably dance dance revolution techno music. It will also be a potluck...and...a costume party yay. Then the ferrets in tuxedoes will be unleashed and they will eat me. Or ooh no...since i'm going to be really really rich...i'll make my heirs eat me if they want part in the will...or would it be cooler to be stuffed and set up on some sort of pulley system at my children's (should my loins prove fruitful) house so that when the door opens i come flying down like a stiff buggy eyed superman. Also i'd like a twenty four arrow salute. Hmm and my hands should be propped in a gang sign so even when i go out...i represent. Maybe we'll hotbox the church...or it'll be a kegger. No strippers though, poor taste. And they'll bury me with all my nintendo games...no you ass...original...not N64. Don't you already feel i'm the type of person to mourn for? why wait till i'm dead? sure i have a pulse but nothing else to my name. 020516 ... stork daddy the famous person is going to be...the kid from jerry maguire...let's hope he hasn't aged too much by then 020516 ... stork daddy of course...it'd be fun to be suspended naked in the air during the whole funeral in some random position...or they could hide me somewhere and everyone will have to find me, like an easter egg hunt 020516 ... stork daddy and they'll show a video where i'm like...to my dear dear best friend...your wife is sooooo hot...i have worked myself over so many times thinking about her...i had to tell you before i took the secret to the grave. And the video would conclude with me saying, "this next portion is for my lover (should i have tricked someone into that role), for the cold lonely week it's going to take her to get over me, just pop the video in...wear that red teddy you've got...you know...the one you wore the first time you let me (something obscene that will make her grimace at all the other people in the church) and get it on with yourself" then it will be me lewdly dancing and swinging it in a circle. Oh and since i was raised catholic but am now zen buddhist...at the beginning of the service...a priest and a zen monk will fight a 5 round mixed martial arts fight to decide who will do the honors. Is that enough yet? jeesh it's so much fun. What else is life but an elaborate preparation for your funeral? Something else right. It's all relative. Maybe i'll let my old senile uncle who doesn't remember my name say a few words too. He'll probably be long gone by then...so maybe i'll hire an impersonator...or ooh...an impersonator for me to surprise everyone in the middle and be like...i'm not really dead! that's my twin brother! i'm the real insert name here...i've been lost at sea! Oh...the list goes on and on...if you need me to plan a funeral for you...contact me...we'll put the fun back in funeral right? 020516 ... optic discretion only the birds shall attend, filling the air with their sweet songs, as the wind blows leaves across my body, and lifts my soul upward, forever condemned to follow the paths of the wind. the grass shall be my bed, soft and gentle, while the moss slowly creeps up to close my lips forever and thus i shall have met my end, gone from the world just as i entered, unbeknownst to anyone, just another wandering soul at least the birds shall sing their eulogies ... 020516 ... apoeticmisfit at your funeral, i will sing the requiem. 020723 ... she ...will you cry? 020723 ... god my dying wish is that everybody there piss their pants 020723 ... phil total insanity, enough that they just lock everybody in the cemetery. Zhombies and shit, lots of black magic. And ooo, one of those spinny things, with the colors on the end, ya gonna need a few of those. Monkeys, vannila wafers, zorac, electric eels, porn star bent over on my tomb stone. Insanity. 020723 ... phil Raining frogs, black umbrellas. Buried next to my friend, drinking coronas till the end of time. Tiny clouds low to the ground, streams of water seaping cracks deep into my grave. People getting haircuts at the edge of a cliff. I'm wide awake & breathing. Listening to bells, girls dancing on my grave. Their tiny feet breaking my heart. And in time, exposed to the barren souless earth above, streaking my bones as my corpse comes to life, blowing in the air, consumed by visions of the final day. The black trees and the red sky. 020723 ... endless life (desire) i don't want a funeral. because i don't need one. i'm never going to die. 030606 ... FireNRoses we'll go to the beach and there will be strawberries and other fruit. There will be halupkis and there will be crabs and shrimp and clams... there will be a party... and they will throw the rock... with my ashes in it... inscribed with that poem I wrote. There will be loud music and people will swim and when the sunsets they will go home and they will be glad for me... maybe... or maybe they will cry... 030708 ... stork daddy they'll have a raffle for my stuff. 070420 ... nom i won't be at my funeral along with everyone else i won't even have a funeral 070421 ... tr i will be dead 070422 ... Lady Lightness yall better dance to some good grooves and celebrate life 070422 ... three words at_my_funeral show_me youarepeace 120101 ... unhinged weird blather_synchronicity i have to go back to ohio for a funeral this week 120101 what's it to you? who go blather from