silentbob The knight cursed himself for being late to the royal ball. For too long he’d been sitting in his own private quarters listening to a song of absolute sorrow. He had not been to one of these fantabulous parties in over 3 months and almost forgot how to act. He got a drink and guzzled it sheepishly. He looked around the party and was stunned by complete beauty. Her grey eyes and auburn hair enticed him and invited him across the giant marble room. He crossed the dance floor to get to her. He said, "Were you looking at me, by chance, m’lady?" She smiled towards him. "Oh, yes, noble warrior." Said she. "I need your assistance. I am the daughter of the brother of the sister of the principle of the Third Moon Battle School. They do not understand the ways of royalty. They want to know why there are such things as absolute rulers. Can you provide me with some information to take back?"
The witch watched it all in her bubbling cauldron. The image faded and bubbled over. Suddenly she heard a cry in the back room of her secret temple in the mist. She ran across the dirty brick floor to see what the disturbance might have been. A small black demon-frog was eating her Pox potion. This angered the witch fervently. She turned it into a….. uhh….she killed it and threw it’s corpse in her black pot of boiling insanity. Drops of the ooze flew out the window.
Jimmy was doused in a strange green liquid from above. He did not know what it was. He whipped out his cell phone and called a pizzeria. They delivered to his door a large pepperoni pizza with frog droppings placed just under the cheese for that zesty sensation Jimmy knew and loved. He took pride in his orders. Without order there was anarchy. With anarchy there was chaos. He wished to be something big….like governor. And so it was that he ventured far across the country side to get back to his house and eat that pizza. He stopped at a gem shop to by something cool for his lady friend.
Kyross, the jeweler, sold the moron with an overbite who was muttering something about pizza a large ruby with diamonds sticking out of the sides. It glowed so. Kyross closed the little shop and took his days earnings to the track where he gambled it all away to watch the beaver races. He lost some good money on #5, or as his common name, "Daddy’s Rejection."
The beaver went home to his loving family and hungry mother-in-law. Nothing could annoy him more than that mother-in-law. He decided to go into cannibalism and so they cooked the beaver wench for dinner. Best relative "Daddy’s Rejection" ever ate.
"And so," said the animal show reporter, "we watch as generally non-carnivorous animals go berzerk and eat their in-laws. No one knows how this fad started or where the end of it may happen. Maybe it has something to do with the annoyance of the relatives living at home. I’m Joe Gergens, good day." They gathered up the camera crew and drove off into the night. The specialists that remained tested the beavers in their natural environment. Then they took them out and tested them in the lab where they later prospered successfully. No, I’m sorry, that’s incorrect, all the beavers died. And no one knew it was just because they were kidnapped from their natural environment. That is, except of course, the animal rights activists.
DIMENSIA or Dads Imposing Mediocre Environmental and Narrow-minded Saving of Important Animal rights, pulled up to the lab at midnight on July 15th. They began to free all the animals, letting them go and run off into the forest. Even the animals who, if had stayed, would later have found lasting effects on the AIDS virus and other such freakish horrors. The setting free of the animals inspired govern-mentalists to be good to the world.
The president stepped out of his white house and planted a tree. Suddenly the water over-flowed in the fountain and the tree drowned. As he bent over to pick the corpse of the tree up something snapped and he could not stand correctly. "Gene!" he cried to his wife. "It’s my back, Gene. Get me the donut shop! I need my daily fill!"
Herkule, the Cuban terrorist, peered out of his van. The white house looked big and foboding. He saw President Burns fumbling about on the White House lawn. He whipped out his semi-automatic rifle and pointed it at Burns head. The little laser glowed red and anonymous. He was about to pull the trigger when suddenly something obstructed him.
Shawn whipped his Frisbee at Eric. It was a perfect solid throw, very smoothly and well-equipped. But Eric stumbled about and completely missed it. It knocked some guy in a van into a deep coma. They rushed him to the hospital.
"Stats!" cried Dr. Green, played by the lovable Anthony Edwards. Eriq Lasalle’s character pushed the cuban man down the hall at a quick pace. "What seems to be the trouble, Dr. Green?" Julianna Margulise’s character asked. "I don’t know. He’s just not cominga round."
They buried Herkule in Arlington National Cemetary and gave him a 31 gun salute. They spared no expense on his funeral while people were dying in Bolivia. A strange wizard man attended the funeral, as he had attended many funerals over the millenia. He cast a spell upon the deceased Cuban terrorist, sending him into the deepest corner of blackest Hell. He was the only one who knew about his terrorism.
The demons did not accept Herkule. They considered him a loser and often fried him with their pokers and strange fire-sticks Satan had created to beat off the Hell Hounds. The Hell Hounds were something completely different from what they sounded. They were actually birds that were formed from ash. Like a phoenix.
River Phoenix died of a drug overdose in 1993, on Halloween.
Over the years many people famous and beloved people have died from drug addictions. If you don’t believe me, ask Johnny, Jimi, Janis, Chris, John, the singer of Sublime, Shannon Hoon, and many other people I have failed to mention.
Many people are often failed to be mentioned at the Academy Awards. Remember when Frank Sinatra went up to give his thanks but he took too long so they played the music to get rid of him?
Was it Frank Sinatra or Marlon Brando who said on Larry King Live that there were too many Jews in Hollywood?
The Godfather is a great movie.
Francis Ford Coppola didn’t want to do a gangster movie and wanted to leave that up to Martin Scorcese.
Goodfellas is a great film.
Goodfellas was playing in a theatre or in someone’s house as I wrote this out and printed it. I’m sure because it was a great movie and rather popular. And I close this chest of wonders and leave it to you to depict my sanity.

Q The Wizard of Oz was a meanie though, as you depict. 060118
what's it to you?
who go