llama amorfus The llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. Guitarist & Dancer: Llamas are larger than frogs. Man: Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout... Guitarist & Dancer: Look out, there are llamas! (monty_python) 000524 ... MollyGoLightly My aunt calls her cats "llamas." I think that's really cute. 000524 ... startfires me and my friend kat had a book called llamas and we wrote weird shit in it like "i'm brushing my teeth with matt's butt." that's the only one i can remember. 001003 ... Barrett ...That's how you get to llama school. You've gotta go to llama school (sifl_and_olly) 001004 ... Unkown LLAMA The story of my life............... The story of all our lives scary thought... it runz us it ownz us.... LLAMA LLAMA Alpacka the revolution.. that died and left us in depression Long live the LLAMA's 011007 ... general direction why do people do the lamma lamma? 011026 ... nemo kyle 011104 ... jestification killer_llama = dorks. they are a bunch of rich kids who wanted to be involved in the 'scene' and nobody i know has any fucking respect for them, they are just tolerated b/c they do put on a lot of shows and get local bands on their web site but the write ups should really be done by someone who can write, and who actually understands music/art...... they made danny and damani and modell into cartoons..... they "wrote" and article on judge genius without interviewing them.... they called tabu groove monkeys.... no i don't want no mother fucking decal...yeah, give one to damani...oh, you want to put it on his car? he don't have a fucking car....put it on his skateboard dipshit. issues, issues, issues. 011207 ... pjork autopsy_turvy 011210 ... niki rhymes with osama 011211 ... god doesn't rhyme with leaky 011221 ... oren Where's Osama's llamas, at Mama's? 011221 ... oren No, those would be Osama's Mama's llamas, silly. 011221 ... ClairE I'm sick of llamas. If I hear about llamas again I'm going to cry. 011221 ... god voles, then 020401 ... god llama, a mall 030417 ... not tonyama gaucho_marxist 030417 ... not god http://blather.newdream.net/t/tengo_un_dios_que_se_llama_pat_sajak.html 041004 ... no reason http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php 041220 ... phil In the lawn Tom notices an elegant llama. He walks over to his neighbors home. Pete kneeled in the sand is shaving it's hoofs. "Sexy llama Pete!" "Thanks Tom!" "Can I touch it's wrinkly coat!" "Sure Tom, you go right ahead!" Tom touches the llama, it is soft. "Can I feed it a carrot Pete!" "I would be pleased if you do Tom! Go right ahead!" "Oh how exciting!" bellows Tom. The lamma cringes at his stinky breathe. Sliding a carrot from his back pocket he holds it aloft for the llama to snack on. But it seems reluctant to do so. "What's wrong llama!" asks Tom, "Hey Pete! What's wrong with your llama?!!" "He likes peanut butter! You can try putting some on the end of the stick!" "But Pete" says Tom "I don't have any peanut butter" "Ok, Tom, you can have some of mine" Pete hands Tom a jar of Jiff crunchy peanut butter. Tom thanks him for it and twists his hand around several times before the lid pops off. Scooping out a hefty lump of the sticky substance he once again holds it out to the llama. "Why does he like peanut butter so much Pete!" Tom asks as the animal devours the concoction. "I can't say Tom, I have no idea!" "Well Pete, thanks for letting me see your llama, it was great!" "Great Tom, see you tommorrow!" Pet and Tom walk back home. They visit their wives. They drink ginger ale. Pete and Tom both walk outside on their porch to smoke a cigarette. They spot eachother from one another's porch. "Hi Tom!"/"Hi Pete!" "Hey Tom?" "Ya. Pete?" "Are you busy tonight Tom!?" "Well!" looking around Tom considers carefully whether he is busy tonight or not. "I am." "Oh, it will just take a moment!" "OK then, what is it?" "I have a problem..." Tom's ears perk up in interest. Pete continues. "My wife. She doesn't know I have a llama, do you think maybe..." "Come on over!" Tom and Pete both venture back inside the house, kiss their wives, and step outside into the front lawns. They walk over to the fence dividing their yards and then greet eachother with two big smiles. "Well Tom, what's your idea?!" "Pete... do you plan on keeping the llama???" "Ya Tom, I guess I do!" "Then you've got to let her know. That, you want to keep it!" A troubling thought crosses Pete's mind as he takes in his friends advice. Shaking his head in concern Pete says, "I don't know.... what if she says I can't have it?" "Geez Pete, don't be such a pussy." "Keep it down, she might hear us!" Both men look desperately around, hoping that their wives are not listening in on them. "OK Pete, I'll tell you what we'll do, you get the llama on thursday, saturday, and tuesday." "Tom!" "Ya Pete?" "Did you know the days of the week are named after ancient Pagan gods!?" "No Tom, I guess it never crossed my mind." "You need to capatalize!" "Damn Tom, good point." "OK" "OK" "Ok then, you get the llama Tuesday, Thursday, and Monday." "Tom, say the days in order!" "What do you mean Pete? I don't see what the order has to do with anything?" "The days of the week start with Monday first, then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. That is the order I am used to hearing them in, and besides, it would make more sense." "Well Pete, if you can't keep track of the days of the week, I can see we have more problems than just a camel" "It's a Walrus" "No, it's a camera!" "No, now I said stop it!" "I said it's a Camel" "No, you said it was a Walrus, I said it was a Camel." "You said it was a camera." "Yes I did." Then the wives came out onto the lawn. "What are you boys talking about." They said in their raspy voices that peel paint from the walls. Tom and Pete say in unison. "Nothing dear!", "We were just talking about Pete's new camera" Tom adds in. "Oh Pete, you bought me a camera! Just what I always wanted" His wife gives him a big hug, smiling so brightly it nearly brought her too tears. Pete stares around in bewilderment. After the wive's leave back inside, after saying "Good evening" and "How do you do?" and actually gabbing a whole bunch, in a conversation which goes back several weeks. As Pete and Tom tapped their feet, crossed their arms and looked back and forth. Cruely at their wives, then ridicuously at one another, and then back again, until the conversation ended sometime around noon the next day. "Tom" says Pete scowling at Tom. "I don't have a camera!" "I know Pete..." Tom thinks and thinks about the problem his friend is in. Feeling considerate he offers to buy him one, in exchange for the llama, which he can give as a gift to his best friend Paul. "OK, Tom, it's a deal." They both venture back inside, Pete goes to sleep, and Tom hides in the kitchen using the phone to call his best friend Paul. "Psst. Hey Paul, this is me, Tom!" He covers the reciever, listening to his wife's rythmic snoring. "I mean, this is Tom." he whispers into the phone. "Hey Tom! We were just asleep" "Oh I'm sorry Paul. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?" "Sure Tom." "Well, actually... I'm a little short." Tom waits for a moment, thinking about how Paul would react to the idea of money being spent. "On cash. Could you run down to the store in the morning and buy me a camera?" "Gee Tom, that seems like an expensive present, what do you need it for?" "Well, my friend Pete is in a bit of trouble with the misses and needs to buy her a new toy." "Well I suppose I could Tom." "Gee, really, that's swell. Thanks Paul." "Oh, that's alright, no need to thank me, I'll bring it over tommorrow." The next morning Paul arrives at Tom's house, bringing along with him a handsome camera carrying case. Outside, on the lawn, a large green gift box, with red ribbon wrapped up and over it's sides, tied up in a pretty bow, with Paul's name across a label on top, sits. Paul walks up and knocks on Tom's door. Tom quickly answers. "Oh hi Paul, nice to see you, my wife is off at work." Tom's wearing a lacy kitchen apron, rubber gloves, and holding onto a black iron pan. "Oh, let me get changed" says Tom "it will just be one second" "Ok" says Paul "hurry up." After a few minutes Tom reemerges, this time wearing his blue suit and black tie, with a starched white business shirt underneath that he probably ironed. Paul hands Tom the camera. "So I see you have a gift for me Tom!" Pauls pronounces, looking back at the gift in the middle of the lawn. "That I do Paul! That I do." "Can I open it!" "Please do!" "I was hoping it will make up for the camera!" Paul opens the package, revealing a shiny new llama. It even had that new llama smell. The glee in Paul's eye shone like a crack whore on holiday. "I can't believe it Tom, how did you know that I love llamas!?! Wait till the boys get a load of this! Sweet!" Paul stows the beast into his hatchback and drives off as the two friends wave goodbye . Actually. They waved twice. Tom jumped and spun like a school girl, on his porch, and walked briskly over to Pete's place, to hand in the camera. Kerry was wating for him, she stood seductively, rubbing her back up and down along the door frame. Smooching her lips and winking at Tom. "Hey Tommy boy. You want to come inside, and have a drink?" Tom looks at her briefly "Tempting, but I just, I came over to see Pete." "Well, Pete's at the office. He'll be back tomorrow. Are you sure you don't want to come inside for some coffee and muffins?" "Um, no." Tom skuttles off back to his home. He halts on the way down the sidewalk to check his mail box, no mail, and quickly gets inside. He catches his breathe, and stills his racing heart. After a short break he wipes the cold sweat from his brow and sits down inside the kitchen, on a stool. The short hand of the clock ticks away, as he stares blankly into space, petting the camera case, waiting for Pete. About noon the next day he hears Pete's car coming home. Tom listens as he greets his wife and closes the front door. The whole world seems to be spinning away underneath as Tom steps awkardly up to Pete's doorway. Knock, Knock. This time, Pete answers the door, but Tom glances around him, hoping to get a peek of his wife. Pete stares at him. Tom shyly bows his head as he hands Pete the camera case. "Keep it hidden under your coat." he mumbles underneath his breathe. "Wow thanks Tom, it means a lot to me. Did you give the llama away?" Tom nods in affirmation. A look of sadness crosses Pete's face momentarily, but he smiles, testing the weight in his hands. "I'll tell you how it goes Tom, good day, see you tommorrow!" "Good day Pete! I've got to go!" Pete and Tom both end up inside their houses. Tom tidies up the bedroom for his wife when she gets home. Arranging the sado-masochistic hanging chain and leather slave outfit on their closet door. Pete grabs his wifes attention inside their kitchen, and slowly lifts the camera out from underneath his coat to show his curious wife. She claps. Then END ish 050105 ... globalfruitbat awesome phill.I love it 050107 ... god why not dio? 050108 ... the llama song Heres a llama. Theres a llama and another little llama. Fuzzy llama. Funny llama. Llama llama duck. Llama llama. Cheesecake llama. Tablet brick potato llama. Llama llama mushroom llama. Llama llama duck. I was once a treehouse. I lived in a cake. But i never saw the way, the orange slayed the rake. I was only three years dead, but it told a tale. And now listen little child, to the safty rail. Did you ever see a llama kiss a llama on the llama? Llama's llama. Taste of llama. Llama llama duck. Half a llama. Twice the llama. Not a llama. Farmer llama. Llama in a car. Alarm a llama. Llama duck. Is it how it's told now? Is it all so old? Is it made of lemon juice? Doorknob. ankle. cold. Now my song is getting thin. I've run out of luck. Time for me to retire now. And become a duck. 050126 what's it to you? who go blather from