monty_python parrot sketch birdmad First Assistant Llama Second Assistant Llama Assistant to the Second Assistant Llama ...On second thought, let's not go to Camelot...it's a silly place. 001003 ... pat sajak "makes you feel kind of insignificant, doesn't it?" "mmm, yes" so, uh can we have you liver then?" 010627 ... pat sajaks ghost he's pining for the fjords... 010627 ... Sol that parrot is deceased. its a polygone 010627 ... DannyH There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist 010628 ... Sol wheres the rest of yuuuu eh? been eating to much fresh fruit. attack me with that banana what? i said attack me with the banana um, ok no no no no like this aaaaaiiiiiiiigggh go on, you try aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggh BANG you just shot him! hes dead 010628 ... Logan "your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries!" Monty Python fuckin Rocks! 010629 ... nemo i love in the holy grail one when the monks are walking and hitting themselves in the head... 010629 ... sweetheart of the song tra bong We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni! Peng! and Neewhom! (neewhom) Fechez la vache? Quoi? Fechez la vache! 010630 ... a shrubbery (subtitles beneath credits) ~~Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer~~ ~~See the løveli lakes~~ ~~The wønderful telephøne system~~ ~~and mani interesting furry animals~~ ~~Including the majetic Møøse~~ ~~A møøse once bit my sister~~ ~~Nø realli! She was karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of such Nørwegian møvies as: "The hot hands of an Oslo Dentist," "Fillings of Passion," and "The huge Mølars of Horst Nørdfink"~~ ------ We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. ~~~Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti ...~~~ --------------------- We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked. ---------------- Production Manager: JULLIAN DOYLE Assistant Director: GERRY HARRISON Special Effects: JOHN HORTON Choreography Fight Director & Period Consultant: JOHN WALKER Make-up Artists: PEARL RASHBASS, PAM LUKE Photography: JULLIAN DOYLE Animation Assistance: LUCINDA COWELL, KATE HEPBURN Møøse Trained by: YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA ------------------- Lighting Cameraman: TERRY BEDFORD Special Møøse Effects: OLAF PROT Møøse Costumes: SIGGI CHURCHILL -------------- Designer: ROY SMITH Møøse Choreographed by: HORST PROT III Miss Taylor's Møøses by: HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by: JURGEN WIGG ------ Editor: JOHN HACKNEY Møøses' noses wiped by: BJORN IRKESTORM-SLATER WALKER Large møøse on the left half side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by: BO BENN Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by: VIC ROTTER Antler-care by: LIV THATCHER ------------ ~~The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.~~ --------- [FIESTA MUSIC] [TITLE ON FLASHING YELLOW B.G] Executive Producer JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama ------- Producer: MARK FORSTATER Assisted by: EARL J. LLAMA MIKE Q. LLAMA III SY LLAMA MERLE Z. LLAMA IX ------------- Directed by: 40 SPECIALLY TRAINED ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS 6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS 142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS 14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA) REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON 76000 BATTERY LLAMAS FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY and TERRY GILLIAM AND TERRY JONES ------------------ 010630 ... togart we are no longer the nights who say NI we are now the nights who say ecki ecki ecki patang zooooop boing 010710 ... Toxic_Kisses Harry: I've had a team working on this over and over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts...One... people are not wearing enough hats. Two...matter is energy; in the Universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally percieve. Some energies have a spiritual source which acts upon a person's soul. However, this soul does not exist ab initio, as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everday trivia. Max: What was that about hats again? ~The Meaning of Life 011013 ... god the larch 011013 ... she VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood. BEDEVERE: And therefore--? VILLAGER #1: A witch! CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! 011218 ... Joana. My brain hurts!!! '_' 011219 ... sim Good evening. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of the nude in my bed. I-In the history of my bed... of art! Of art, I'm sorry. The place of the nude in the history of tart... call-girl... I'm sorry. I'll start again... Bum. Oh, what a giveaway. 011219 ... sabbie BURMA!!!! 011220 ... karl the weed CHARGE!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!! 030906 ... screwing for virginity I'm a lumberjack, and thats ok. i sleep all night, and work all day 030907 ... Flowers from Safeway I was recently building puppets with the daughter of a rock star. She's also the niece of a famous director. Crazy. Anyway, she's just a kid, and can recite every word of dialouge from The Holy Grail, and The Life of Brian. What a memory! She really ought to consider acting. Especially with the connections and all. 030912 ... oldephebe in 9th grade me and this kid used to get in serious trouble doing john clese impersonations in the back of the class our innappropriate and inept tributes illicited some pretty menacing scowls..hee hee love monty python ... 030912 ... celestias shadow NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!! 030915 ... crimson NI!!! they remind me of my father 030920 ... crimson Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries 030920 ... Novice I fart in your general direction 040323 ... stork daddy and now for something, completely different 040323 ... Doar ministry of sill walks 040323 ... Moron "silly" 040323 ... Poot Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter... 050118 ... oren "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" 060131 ... stork daddy this song always makes it better. 060201 ... jane queen of the britons ARTHUR: Old woman! DENNIS: Man! ARTHUR: Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven. ARTHUR: I-- what? DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old. ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you 'Man'. DENNIS: Well, you could say 'Dennis'. ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'. DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? ARTHUR: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked-- DENNIS: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior! ARTHUR: Well, I am King! DENNIS: Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the-- WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do? ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that? WOMAN: King of the who? ARTHUR: The Britons. WOMAN: Who are the Britons? ARTHUR: Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king. WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-- WOMAN: Oh, there you go bringing class into it again. DENNIS: That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of-- ARTHUR: Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? WOMAN: No one lives there. ARTHUR: Then who is your lord? WOMAN: We don't have a lord. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,... ARTHUR: Yes. DENNIS: ...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting... ARTHUR: Yes, I see. DENNIS: ...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,... ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: ...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major-- ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! WOMAN: Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh. ARTHUR: I am your king! WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you. ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings. WOMAN: Well, how did you become King, then? ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! 060201 what's it to you? who go blather from