line_of_the_day
paste! "I was wondering why some moonsuit-wearin' motherfucker handed me a Lenscrafters flyer this morning." 011101
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ilovepatsajak "and that's all the way in east bumfuck." you know some days you hear a random person say something and you just remember it? that was it today. 011101
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genesis my friend found little pig hairs on her bacon 011101
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Dafremen "I don't want to stop wanting what I want just because it makes me miserable wanting it!!!"

(My 14 year old trying to rationalize her life long dream of living in a big house and her short term goal of getting me to give up the T.V. so she can watch videos.)

Fat chance. I showed her how we will change the ways of the world when the day comes. With firm, but respectful refusal. We will refuse to give in to the demands of some other brain, instead we will respond respectfully, but firmly. We will offer respect until it is no longer reciprocated, then we will part ways. Those who are unwilling to change will slowly die out and the old ways will die with them.

We will unite if attempts are made to divide us, we will defend ourselves against against those who would attempt to recreate the old ways in the new time.

The ways of the universe are NOT gentle and kind, nor are they hard and cruel.

They are simply the ways of the universe.
011101
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dB The universe puts us in places we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are always where we need to be.


That's essentially what you mean ain't it Daff?
011101
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mmm "Judge me all you want, just keep the verdict to yourself."

it was on a book of matches..
011101
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Dafremen I believe Db, that randomness has its own purposes, and that not every experience is a lesson. I believe it is a ride. I don't believe that there is some ultimate enlightenment that will free my personality from "this mortal coil" except perhaps for that which is already here and known. I believe that this is a fantasy cooked up by a brain that cannot face it's own very routine end and ultimate recycling into something that may NOT be sentient. It's a repelling idea at best, and a horrific nightmare thought at worst, but such is the case. We are part of a whole that is greater than what little brain wants or is afraid of. Litte brain is afraid because little brain thinks that given enough time, he can avoid mortality. He cannot. Enjoy the ride Db, THAT is what I am trying to say. Enjoy the comradery, enjoy the pains and the pleasures. Be happy, stop wanting to the point that it makes you unhappy. That is what's being said Db. That is what we must do. Not self-indulgent hedonism, true appreciation for the art and majesty that is all around you, the show that is taking place before these eyes, those eyes. In stunning 3D RE-AL-O-VISION. Here's the catch, you're not the star...you're the audience.
You get to be A star in someone ELSE'S show, but screw up and they'll stop watching, or they'll cancel your ticket to the show. That's what I'm saying Db.


Enjoy life and make life enjoyable for others Db, that is what I am saying.
011102
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birdmad (not worth the flesh i was printed on) "AHH! OWW! OW! Turn It Off! Turn It Off...My nipples are smokin'"

Thomas Haden Church, Tales From The Crypt, DEMON_KNIGHT (one of my favourite horror-comedies alongside Evil_Dead_2 and Army_of_Darkness)
011102
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ilovepatsajak "...mr. keith valliere teaching essentials of math, algebra 1 and algebra 2..." 011102
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ilovepatsajak "hi my name is linda...and i am a victim of mail fraud."
-my mom when she called the "ashton-drake galleries"
011102
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whoknows
we'll cut off our legs and glue on wooden ones!"
drop dead fred playing pirates
011102
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paste! "dunno frank, it's brown and has legs, but it sure ain't your pants." 011102
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god we had to train those dogs not to attack goats.
-homer l. chapman III, in reference to one of his post bible college gigs.
011103
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ilovepatsajak i will bring you down baby, i will bring you down to chinatown. 011103
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pat sajak promise? 011103
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ilovepatsajak yep 011106
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ilovepatsajak what is going on here? it keeps saying that i repeat things. 011106
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lost "a day cant be a total waste if i'm totally wasted all day" -system of a down 011106
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whoknows "and theeen?"
dude, wheres my car
011106
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unhinged "i've gotta watch my back." 011107
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ilovepatsajak "damn, it feels good to be a gangster." 011108
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MollyCule "what do you mean, i can't buy your dog?" 011109
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ilovepatsajak "yup, so tina cancelled art again for the fifth week in a row." 011109
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birdmad watching classic cartoons "Fingerpaintin', man!" 011109
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DannyH "He took a look in the mirror to see what a moment of crisis looked like."

The Lost Weekend by Charles Lantrey
011109
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Subterranean Visions "whats goin' on?!?!? oh crap, where am I?!?!?" 011109
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ilovepatsajak "once a geek has been defeated, he cannot be challenged again." 011110
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paste! "do yourself a favor and go jump in a mouthful of shit." 011113
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ilovepatsajak "don't get me wrong because i do like a nice crushed velour jumpsuit." 011113
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Teenage Jesus "If I had all the money I'd spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink." -Sir Henry at Rawlinson End 011114
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Dafremen "Your concern is as appreciated as it is misguided." 011114
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realno why are you quoting yourself you unjustifiably arrogant twit? 011114
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Teenage Jesus That's not arrogant...that IS a really good line! 011114
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Dafremen That was my thought in putting it here T.J.
I suppose having had twits come at me for my "well placed self-deprecating remarks", it was only a matter of time before they found the arrogance that they were looking for.

In a way, my little brain is flattered by all of their attentions (indicated by the constant criticisms.)
011114
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ilovepatsajak "what's going on , shabba?" 011203
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he can breathe OK if no one unplugs him "Leon, in single words, tell me only the good things that come to your mind when you think about your mother." 011203
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ClairE "I would be like, dude, if I met me, and I was vile."

shiva and i mourn superficiality
011203
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john lennon there's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. 011203
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ilovepatsajak i like that 011203
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ClairE For finals:

Crystal: It would be HORRIBLE if I got hit by a car, right at the start of finals! Everyone would come out and be like, oh, no.

Me: Girl, you need a break. Crystal, you'd be hit by a car! It would hurt, whether or not it were finals.
011212
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ilovepatsajak aaaok cla tadit weegone ha alil pa keeee 011212
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no fuck_you_ya_fuckin'_fuck_fuck 011212
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Jenna "If you can afford to pay me when I'm working then you can afford to pay me when I'm not working too."

He hesitated, confused.

Dammit, I was so close.
011212
...
. . 011212
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Fire&Roses "In the begining the Universe was created. This made alot of people very angry ans was widely regarded as a bad move" -Dougals Adams 011213
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ilovepatsajak "...a woman was charged with murdering her two-year-old daughter." 011218
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Jenna "oh i thought it was a half cooked egg on a mountain" 011226
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Homer Simpson "Heroism is on the line. Will you accept the charges?" 011226
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pontifier man, I sucked out there. a whole five dollars worth of suckiness 011227
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Persona Personifiers: this is your day to stand as one! Unite! You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity 011228
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Anthony T. ::sigh:: "No, you can be honest. You just shouldn't be honest." 011228
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reitoei Yow! I want to mail a bronzed artickoke to Nicaragua. 011228
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ilovepatsajak moi: "hey sarah, how are babies like hinges?"
sarah: "they both whine when you open them?"
020104
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Jenna "Where the hell are the walnuts?!?" 020222
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yummychuckle "those aren't MY nipples."

I didnt mean to emphasize the word "my". it worked out in the end.
020223
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mahayana _____________________________________


[i am only but a fragment]
020419
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god this one's for you, douggie. you're goin' to college little guy. 020419
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Teenage Jesus "Well, what if my neighbor over here, eeee-taahy; he might be a shin-doo or a mooslim, or WHATEVER, eee-taahy; he may not wanna live in a christian city...you know, dis aint the CRU-sades, this is just, you know, this is amerikka, and we don't, we don't we don't need that." 020420
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Dafremen Hee-Yuk. 020420
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Dafremen What war? This isn't a war. This is a noogie followed by a wedgie perpetrated by the world's biggest bully. 020420
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Teenage Jesus "Look, there's Ralph," he said with rare insight. 020420
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Fire&Roses "I think you hit a tree Jess. O there's another one. And again. Miss the trees." 020424
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Ariadani "Heather, I completely forgot my pants!"
(a friend of mine wanted me to sew a button on his pants...)
020424
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Casey Fuck, I got white paint in my eye! Oh well, it's not like this is the fisrt time some kind of white substance has splattered on my face and in my eye. 020424
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paste! "Dynamite was Zen-like, existing in another realm,
descending briefly to this corporeal zone for the sole
purpose of slobbering on a cock so that she could make
her truck payment."
020812
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stork daddy does he have any facial hair? only on his back.

we had to go through an agricultural check on the way to vegas from california...if they didn't want fruits coming in from california they shouldn't advertise sigfried and roy so heavily.

sorry...but i tend to have epilectic seizures when talking to you.

it's like that america' s funniest home video where the guy falls and hits his head on the diving board.

she said those three magic words...pee on me...we broke up...the drain isn't the same...some comedian.
020812
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cheer-up-emo-kid disclaimer: this is extremely immature. dont read if this is going to make you think less of me.

the line of the day (which it was for a very many days) was "ok class, Im going to come around and give you all one of my nuts"
you see, my 8th grade science teacher was an idiot and when we did this lab on burning nuts, he referred to them as 'his nuts'. how can you not make fun of something like that??
through out the course of the period, he said many things to make an ass of himself...
"be sure not to break my nuts because I dont have any more"
"DONT PUT MY NUT IN YOUR MOUTH!"
"Brad, stop squishing my nuts"
020813
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split droner "did you jerk off?"

"no, never, i'm saving myself for the right lotion."
020823
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Dafremen "Tell you what dear, why don't you go eat something. Fill up that mouth of yours before it makes a fool of you again."

Me to my youngest daughter on the occasion of her having proved herself capable of being a dipsh*t...again.
020927
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jesus h. christ dafremen is a mean father. 020927
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Freak If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definately not for you. 020927
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blather spell check If at first you don't spell a word right, check the dictionary.

Christ. It's "definitely." Get it fucking straight.
020927
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blather spell check I'm not exactly sure why so many people cannot spell, but it sure as fuck pisses me off.

Oh_just_stop_existing.
020927
...
blather spell check Really: if you're not sure how to spell a word, look it up.
Don't be careless about it. You just end up looking unintelligent. (See above.)
020927
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kingsuperspecial "I'd feel a lot better about the president's handling of this global nuclear brinksmanship if he could actually pronounce the word nuclear." 020927
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Freak Actually I copy and pasted that one and anyway I don't feel like I need to prove my intelligence to anyone. 020930
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Willy Wonka You know what happened to the man who finally got everything he wanted?

He lived happily ever after.
020930
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paste! "When I cook pancakes, the panties just fly off...I'm the Luther Vandross of breakfast." 020930
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Dafremen "Behind every sinner lies a saint's inconstant virtue, behind every saint a sinner deprived."

Me in response to the allegations that I am a mean father. I am a STRICT father, but I love my children very much. So there and nanny nanny boo boo ladies.
020930
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~gez~ joe: im not fat"!"!" 021001
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Mahayana tae bo?? she cant even tie shoe! 021001
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pontifier dad, what's cauliflower made of? 021226
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Dafremen you_own_my_tenderness 030403
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sylphide (in a stoned driving escapade)

"I think i'll pull over by that pine tree over there...... no wait.....
...that's the air freshener."
030403
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niska up there, back there, up there, back there, up there, back there...

BAAAAACK BAAAAACK

this, unfortunately is a conversation i actually had today.
030403
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oldephebe "I was told my world will end in Winter."...it was either me or something I read..oE 031203
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Frank ------------------------------------
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lines of the day?
041013
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unhinged 'fuck you and the space you take up' 111112
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unhinged 'every day can't be the best day. do what you can right now, don't hesitate' 120611
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from