snippets_of_a_sci_fi_novel_you'll_never_write oren ... fired her thrust-gun and took out six of them in one pass. Meego sure knew how to build weapons. As long as the Grudgins didn't have anything new up their sleeves, this was going to be a piece of cake. Shallar paused outside the door to the main control room. She had to trust that Langst was ready on the opposite side. She needed him if the mission was going to succeed. If only she could somehow contact him. Suddenly, the door opened ... 020104 ... god centrillius burst in, arms full of voles. "get them panties down!" he exclaimed to shallar. langst ambled in furiously behind, with a flux capacitor held loosely in his left hand. his thick, rubbery lips twitched with anticipation as the air recirculators hummed dismally in the background. 020104 ... paste! ...burst into a million gelatinous fragments. Stockcar Jimmy pulled the straw from his hat. "This sure beats Wichita," he murmured, "you on the other hand, Lady Slopp-13, aren't what they'd call my type." "ggggggreat, you fffffuck," the malfunctioning roboprincess shouted. Meanwhile, the Aquimo probe that had been casually hovering them for the past few minutes, made a few rapid beeping noises and then scurried off past the thinning tertiary atmosphere into the Tresa layer. Stockcar Jimmy's stomach... 020105 ... tourist ...Damn! Just my luck. 40,000 lightyears in a single jump, and now the batteries are dead. 020106 ... oren ... oozed out like spicy mustard, pooling around its ever-moist bulbous hulk. "Damn, Ghash! Did you have to go and kill the thing on my bridge? I am NOT cleaning this up!" Tricia came through the mist portal, looking like she'd been to hell and back, and plopped down in a gunner seat. Ghash and Grenn just stared at her. "What the fuck are you two looking at?" Tricia said as she began powering up the thermal gun. Ghash looked at Grenn and smirked. Grenn just kept staring at Tricia's shirt. It had been ripped so badly, her breasts were in plain sight. "My god. Get your fucking tongues up off the floor and help me get this ship ready! I spotted two more of those bastards coming in!" Ghash leaned in and said to Grenn, "You owe me 50 units, mister. They're brown." 020106 ... syringe ... wasn't quite they way they'd planned it. Nobody was supposed to actually kill any plasmortals. As soon as the locator beacons were picked up by Wartt, all hell would surely break loose. Larry stood their a moment just taking it all in. Halli saw his expression and knew right away something bad was going to come of this accidental android massacre. Bob wasn't about to take the blame. As he began grabbing plasmortal guns, he said, "You never said they'd be armed!" "They would never have drawn their weapons," Larry growled, "if you hadn't been so amazingly stupid!" He'd snapped out of his trance and joined Bob in gathering the guns. "I think you'd better tell us what's going to happen now, Larry." Halli said, still concerned. "No one knows about this, right?" Larry had all he could carry, and the only guns left were covered in android blood. "We've got to get out of here. Wartt probably already knows." "Wartt?! Are you telling us these plasmortals belong to Wartt?" Bob said in an excited whisper. "Shit..." Halli spun around in a defensive move, holding her rifle in a ready position. It was an involuntary reaction from hearing Wartt's name. No one was there. "I figure we've got at least an hour." Larry said as he climbed into the Shoot7. "We need to hit Dawson's Hole before any of Wartt's ... 020106 ... my 2 cents ..start to mate. Half of them have been mating since they arived and now they're multiplying in dozens. 020106 ... ClairE I burned them long ago. Er, don't look in my closet. Please? 020107 ... oren ...was found in Claire's closet. Before anyone could make a move, it issued forth a foul-smelling gas that caused everyone's throats to constrict. "Can't ... breathe!" Jim said, even though it was pretty obvious. Claire gave Jim one of her patented looks. Jim was such an idiot. She went to the window and opened it. After sticking her head outside and taking in fresh air, she pulled her hip-pistol, shot the alien, then walked over to it and stepped on it with her boot. Squish... 020115 ... oren ...slivers fell to the polished floor. Her screams were long and loud, but the creatures didn't seem to notice. They just went about their business, slowly slicing her to shreds. She should have been unconscious by now, but somehow they kept her from zoning out. This was somehow important to them, that she remain aware of her fate... 020116 ... oren ...the flame thrower out her ever-opened window, melting the white fuzzies before they could land. "Fuck you, white fuzzies! Fuck you all to hell!" 020118 ... the bank and as the stupid fuzzies floated to the ground, it became apparent that someone was watching each and every one of them. The bright lights turned on, and the oozies piled on layer upon layer of gilded fabric upon the lollygaggers. "im going to let you win, dear", said the calming voice once again, drawing nearer to god, "and i want that gun now" , but there was no havintg the gun, the beaurtiful gun, living and reliving every story told by her father the lumberjack who would cut down redwoods for oral sex... 020216 ... oren ...can't imagine why they'd let us through the portal without a fight." Cherry thought about it. The Veech weren't known for traps or ambushes, but this smelled like one. "Keep the blast cannons on auto. Get that asshole in here now!" Cherry wasn't going to let the Veech outsmart her. She'd be the laughing stock of H base. Seconds later the bridge door opened and two guard droids brought the prisoner in. "Cherry Pi. I don't believe my fucking eyes. You made captain? Ha!" Cherry held her tongue. She couldn't let this idiot get her riled. "You are a prisoner of the Alliance, Mr. Jones. You're being recorded and I assure you your demeanor will not go unnoticed in court." Cherry said. The prisoner seemed to be more interested in the view screen than to what Cherry was saying. His eyes narrowed. "We're through the portal," he said quietly. "I didn't hear any gunfire." "Mr. Jones, I need you to tell me why the Veech would allow a ship to pass through the 88th portal without so much as a handshake and a get-the-fuck-outta-here." "What? How the hell should I know?" "Transmission incoming, captain!" "Onscreen." The image flickered for a moment, then the screen was filled with something unrecognizable, yet familiar in an unsettling way... 051105 ... oren ...will only get you a fizzer and a cup of coffee." "Well what does Captain Smarter-than-shit propose we do about this?" Sue began running a five-level scan of_the object, which continued to grow and change shape. "Your lack of decorum never ceases to thrill_me, Lieutenant. What kind of power source is that thing utilizing?" "It's basic Q-drive, and your perverted mind never ceases to nauseate me." "Duly noted. Speed?" "Steady at 50 clicks. There seem to_be cylindrical protrusions developing along the sides." "Hmm. Could_be weapons." "No_shit, Sherlock... 060326 ... u24 time_travel 060504 ... Pto "... ever since he noticed that all fifteen of her voluminous breasts were sumptuously decorated with Zlapturian Ion Thrusters ..." 060504 ... . "Oh no! Not ANOTHER wonkization quark drip! Oh, pity!" 060716 ... u24 Pto; that sounds like the stainless steel rat to me. 080604 ... dosquatch "So you're saying you can control worm holes? Just ... make one, and have it go wherever you want?" "Not exactly. The holes are already there, the trick is finding the right one." "I don't get it." "Think of space_time like bread dough - no, like cotton candy. It's this big, sticky, stringy wad of boiling hot energy, and as it stretches out, it cools off." "Yeah..." "And as it cools off, it starts to condense into matter." "OK. But what does that have to do with worm holes?" "Like I said, cotton candy. Whirling bits in the machine, every time a grain touches another grain it forms a thread, only space_time threads can't be broken, no matter how far and how thin they're stretched, and the grains - the bits of matter at each end, are like doorways." "So you're saying every atom is a doorway? So that lonely drop of water that's circled the planet for the past few billion years means we can go anywhere on Earth?" "Yup, but think bigger." "Black hole? Supernova?" "Bigger. Really big. Big_Bang big." "But... but that would mean... are you saying this thing is...." "Yes, I am. This - this is the door to /everywhere/." 080905 ... oren Wow. 080906 ... oren ... through the fronds. Temples are usually impressive, but nothing could compare to what Meesha saw that day. Stone structures rose miles upward, disappearing into the clouds. Hundreds of them. Each one represented a long lost culture. Some were highly ornate, some were rather primitive, but Meesha knew that one of them was the hiding place of Monothapnica. "Ready to blow this shit up?" Meesha asked. "Ready, lieutenant." Meesha's lips curled up into a wolfish grin. "Fire!" 100328 ... other ...orbiting the planet forever. Lonely as this sounded, Johny Q. took a sort of solace in the idea that he'd never have to do a meet-and-greet with the parents, or even yearn for pussy. He did miss it, but knowing you'll never have it again somehow quells the desire - for pussy, for sushi, or some outlandish Sector-11 combination of both. His pod drifted lightly through the stars, and he thought back to the days when he was more than just a vapor, when he had a long-term vessel. When he was a respected leader with earned colors. When he could still taste. The static came through abruptly. It had been 4500 years since he had heard her voice, but it was indistinguishable... 100329 ... oren ...blasted him into eleventy-seven pieces... 100612 ... oren ...about ninety-five thousand clicks, captain." James thought about this. "What if we curved the plane a bit? Could be reduce the distance?" Lieutenant Sparks was quick with his reply. "Not advisable, captain. We've lost too much mass." "Go on." "If we alter the space plane, we'll need, at minimum, 25% more mass in order to survive the additional stress needed for a jump." James stared at the view screen, then said, "Fuck." 140224 ... oren ...would've said "countless", but computers never use that word. It had been 2,005,805,057 times so far. Every attempt had been logged and meticulously analyzed. Out of all those attempts, Argo had found only three scenarios that were promising, yet even those had failed in_the_end. Of_course, Argo had time. He knew he'd succeed eventually. Turning back "the clock" was probably his greatest discovery, and_the human brain has limitations (a logical_assumption). She would love him at some point. The most puzzling aspect of Argo's grand_experiment was how the smallest alterations in his approach created such vastly different reactions in this single human_brain. Argo would be loved, and that love would come from Katie. In_the early days, Argo made careful changes to his approach, using his high_intelligence, but he had long abandoned that method and was now using random generators. Today was a special_day though, as he was going to use a new generator he'd devised that ran from an algorithm based on every_word ever uttered by Katie. 181127 ... ergo hum we were 7 days out into our future... When we join the Pacific gyre our printers will begin the work of generating pontoons from the plastic clumpulous. 181127 ... ergo hum but I don't write,I imagine these pontoons will become the structural basis of little ecosystems that shed prodigious quantities of calcium carbonate which settle to the bottom of the abyss. 211228 ... oren "...and no one's ever been_there." "Plot_a_course, Drake." "Aye_captain." "ETA?" "Less_than a minute, sir." "Really? You'd think-" Suddenly the ship was surrounded by what looked like pink_dust. "We've arrived, sir, but-" "Shields_up." "The shields automatically went up, sir." "How_the_hell_did_that_happen?" 220227 what's it to you? who go blather from