kingsuperspecial kingsuperspecial that's me. that's about all I have to say about it, except maybe that it's a lot of fun, unless I've had a bit too much to drink, or I forgot to take my medicine. (a) 010613 ... florescent light you left out the part about you being, well, you know, (old). 010710 ... kingsuperold oh, yeah. plus, I'm a hick saysyeehaw 010710 ... florescent light oh my god I screwed it all up I tried to tell him how I felt but it came out all wrong somehow and he's not talking to me now and because he's not talking to me that means that I hurt him and since I hurt him that means that he really does care. I'm so upset I don't know what to do he won't talk to me online he won't answer his phone I'm going to cry I'm thinking of going to his house I'm so scared to do that though. I told him that I thought he sucked that's what I said how could I say that? I'm practically in love with the boy What the fuck is the matter with me? But what the fuck is the matter with him that he got so upset by it? I was kidding when I said it, well half kidding. But I tried to tell him that I felt scared, and I guess my choice of words came out wrong. I don't know. If I luck out I'll be hit by a car on the way to his house. God please hit me please please please and make it a huuuge tanker trunk that will put me in a coma for 30 years so when I wake up, he will be 54, and I will still be 21, and he won't be dating material anymore. I push everybody away. 010710 ... Dafremen Good call. I believe this occasion calls for a poem: Pushing You Away by ME Hold me tighter now my dear Than you have ever done before I'm pushing you away I fear Although there's noone I need more I told you on the night we met That it would come to this and see? Although my heart will not forget I'm pushing you away from me Stop-me! Before it is too late And I throw away what we Still have, Don't let love turn to hate Help me pull you back to me. (Wrote that when I was about 17. I push too.) P.S. The really good ones come back though. 010711 ... florescent light help I want to talk to him I'm about to talk to him help you've gotta talk me out of it I'm about to talk to him help no don't yes you know you want to no no no no oh god yes all I have to do is press the button hold back my finger hold it back 010713 ... florescent light I'm standing my ground. 010713 ... florescent light ohhhhhhhhhhh..... There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o - k-i-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l k-i-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l k-i-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. clap-i-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-i-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-i-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. clap-clap-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-n-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was a name-o clap-clap-clap-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-g-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name o clap-clap-clap-clap-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-s-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-u-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-p-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-e-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-r-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-s-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-s-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperpecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-p-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-p-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-e-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-e-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-c-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-c-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-i-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-i-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o. There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-a-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-a-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-l clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-l and kingsuperspecial was his name-o There was a farmer who had a dog and kingsuperspecial was his name-o clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clapclap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap and kingsuperspecial was his name-o! 010714 ... kingsuperspecial would you believe me if I told you I was in love with you? I didn't think so. pass the dog-o ferchrissakes 010721 ... florescent light I need to talk 010721 ... florescent light now 010721 ... kingsuperspecial disclaimer: Blather, for me, is a form of trepanation, a way to rend conflicting states from my psyche, chew on them with some salt and vinegar, and wash them down with some rainbow sherbet. kingsuperspecial is a shell, a proxy, he is catharsis, emancipation, and schadenfreude. These are things that would leave acquaintances staring in open-mouthed horror, cause associates to say horrible things about me behind my back, and make most of friends stop returning my phone calls. Not that many of them return my phone calls, anyway. I created kingsuperspecial, but I don't have control over what he does. Think of it as a window into the subconscious and enjoy the ride. You can read or ignore as you like, but expect no logical explanation, no apologies, and absolutely no mercy what so ever. We now return you to your regularly scheduled lobotomy. 010808 ... florescent light hearts.smiles smiles.hearts rainbows.butterflies butterflies.rainbows hugs.silliness silliness.hugs sanfransisco.newyorkcity newyorkcity.sanfransisco lily.cottoncandy cottoncandy.lily banjo.jubes jubes.banjo badthings.goodthings goodthings.badthings love.hope hope.love life.porcupines porcupines.life light.special special.light 010829 ... not telling chick_magnet 011008 ... not telling either well, it's pretty obvious who posted THAT little tidbit. 011008 ... kingsuperspecial what? me? damn... 011008 ... Dafremen When I think of all of the things I could have done, could have had, could have achieved... When I think of the things I might have had, the person I could have been, had I not picked up that pot pipe and taken my first hit at the age of 13... When I think about it, it's so friggin' terrifyingly NOT me, that I grab the pipe in my mind and mentally take that hit all over again...just to make sure. Don't do drugs kid...unless you'd be satisfied with living a half-assed existence as a druggie loser...the OTHER green meat. 011008 ... god clouds and clouds. salutedness 011014 ... yummychucklefuckyou *********jealousy********* rage such anger....i'm shocked at this outburst of emotion. doesnt deserve doesnt shouldnt grrrrrrr. ---- hehe 011014 ... someone no one everyone I wonder. 011018 ... god tonya has a cat named sonya? 011018 ... sheryl insanely beautiful 011018 ... kingsuperspecial contemplates retirement. Wishes he was a banana. Pushes until he crosses a line LOVES to get THE talk. freaks out those closest to him. has more to say than fits in one person. should love himself more. does not give a flying fuck. only meets nice girls on the internet. banjo, don't eat mr.rabbit. 011018 ... yummyC your voice is pretty. 011019 ... Effingham Fish Holy shit. You look exactly like my brother. Only, you know, different. 011031 ... kingsuperspecial you mean, I have a human head? 011031 ... nocturnal is a dirty old man. has issues with 15-year-old girls. sick pedophile for sure. 011031 ... kingsuperspecial ahhhh yeeeeeeah. here kitty kitty... 011031 ... kingsuperspecial that all you got? and I thought you were a bitch... I guess the question remains; whose bitch are you? ha! 011031 ... Effingham Fish And a beard. 011101 ... fairydust tried to get my friend to name his penis after you, but nonetheless, he refused 011102 ... yummychuckle I TOLD you you were a pedophile! soooo who else knows of this silliness? feel guilty? i don't think I'll visit this page anymore, it pisses me off. ugh. 011103 ... kingsuperspecial name a penis after me! please please please [please please that would be the peak of my career, I could retire a satisfied man. oh, to dream an impossible dream 011105 ... Dafremen Ok well, this will be short, I need to use the restroom. Kss...I found a penis to name after you do0d.(Looks down at own crotch or ..."DaKing") Didn't we big fella?! Alright, I REALLY gotta go drain "his majesty" man...congratulations. 011105 ... nocturnal hmmm. he either blocked me or has been spending an unusually low amount of time online in the past few days. interesting. 011105 ... yummyC resting resting resting hiding hiding vacation vacation taking a break from everyone blocking blocking screening phonecalls evasive avoiding me evasive sad lonely sad black ooze 011109 ... nocturnal I know DAMN WELL that he's drunk right now, and for once I am drunk as well, and where is he? not around. god damn him, fuck that guy. 011109 ... nocturnal should stop talking shit about the south and about the New_Orleans Saints who are by far the best team in the NFL and who got cheated earlier today against the 49ers. but at least he's not a gossip. 011112 ... yummychuckle hehehehehehehe hahahahahahaha hohohohohoho HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA HEEEEHEEEEEHEEEE HOOOOO boy... that was a good laugh i had. 011112 ... bandaids go to: my_story 011221 ... you really fuckin should you should sign the fuck online. 020916 ... squint kindsortaspecial. no no just kiddding, m'dear. (I hear he has a pet banjo!) 020916 ... boiled potato this boy has nice cats. but this boy himself is not nice. 020916 ... kingsuperspecial do elaborate, if you will. I'm all ears. Not denying curious 020918 ... squint get on AIM muthafuckah 020918 ... kingsuperspecial shit's broke - stoopit bank proxy doesn't let me have any fun. I've had to actually WORK all week... 020918 ... johnny west you probably won't see this. no one who passes through these parts seems to stick around for longer than five seconds anymore. but on the off chance that you do stay put long enough to intercept my message_in_a_bottle, i just wanted to tell you (in the only place i know how to reach you now) how much what you wrote today resonated with me. change a few demons and details, shave a few years off, give me a job and a driver's license, and that might have been me. i think so many of us landed here way back when because we were looking for someone to love us when we weren't yet willing or able to love ourselves. we were chasing something we didn't think we deserved but couldn't keep breathing without. and in this world of interlinked words, we tried to write and claw and cry our way to something that passed for happiness. there were times when i felt more alone here than i ever have in my life, and times when i was sure i'd found the only place that ever really felt like home, along with the only people i wanted sitting around the kitchen table with me. i wasn't a baby demon, or a lingerie-clad irish rock star. but i played those characters on blather. sometimes i even played the part of someone who looked like me. i made connections i thought would last forever. then it all fell apart. and i tried to do the same. tried to forget my own name. i used to wish we could erase it all. just torch the whole damned thing, and delete whatever pieces of our souls we'd been brave or foolish enough to leave here. as if that would file down the scar tissue into something prettier to look at. now i'm grateful it's all still here. because it means all of us are still alive in our words. even the 'skites who left with shattered hearts and never came back. maybe this place wasn't the portal to that elusive missing life-shaped puzzle piece for everyone who found it. but i like to think it helped us work out who we were and who we wanted to be. i wouldn't trade the memories for anything. not even the ugly ones that still make me flinch. this blue place changed my life (and saved it more than once). you were one of the people who made me feel less alone, when alone was all i thought i would ever feel. i'll always love you for that. be well. 220828 what's it to you? who go blather from