how_are_you bijou still awake? to quote the late/great typhoid, "i run on laser beans." . 010920 ... kingsuperspecial actually, that's the late great typhoid quoting the still alive but not making music anymore captian beefheart and his magic band, a mr don van vliet I believe his name is. lick my decals off, baby! "Why would [anyone] want to label themselves? I say, "Lick my decals off, baby!" I'm not interested in making any new mustard or ketchup. I make very good mustard." uplatealone 010920 ... dB have you ever noticed when people ask this question they never wait for an answer? really pisses me off. Why ask if you don't care? Crazy 010920 ... barbiturate almost as crazy as responding with "i'm fine" when you're anything but 010920 ... barbiturate me too. i think. 010921 ... bill bixby it's not as exciting as i think it sounds. 020409 ... kx21 M_answer:- Unbelievable, Fantastic, Wonderful,???,... 020410 ... silly questions are_you_ok 020411 ... Arwyn not bad... sitting and enjoying a thunderstorm. 020411 ... me not atm. i dont like hell that much. 020412 ... Photophobe awake and full of oxygen 020412 ... blown cherry trainless 020412 ... misstree i'm not good. i'm trying to hold this all together, really, there's no reason i can't, except i'm not used to being here. i don't know what to do unless things are a mess. and they always are, aren't they, it's just the loud messes that we notice. i don't know. i really don't. i haven't been this not okay in a long time, and i have the whole weekend to myself to think about it. aside from hours 42-50 of work tomorrow, that is, adding a little bit more baggage to the fated train. even getting drunk doesn't help anymore. i'm slowly dying, over here. sheeit. how are you? 020413 ... Syrope im stretched about as thin as i can go...like the membrane of an egg yolk. i look pretty solid, but any tiny bit of pressure will send my guts flying and i'll lose everything...everything is happening at once. no one talks to me unless they want something of me. i don't know how much longer i can go on without some sort of nervous breakdown.. 020413 ... Arwyn sad. 020504 ... that girl what a question to think about todoay. I've never been so confused as to what exactly my feelings are. Fucking program. I wish i could say i feel fine or i feel like shit, but today I just don't know. It feels bad to be so out of tune. I feel lost I guess, and clumsy as hell. 030224 ... MDogMA I'm ok but i'm late for class. 030224 ... birdmad dangerous 030224 ... Mr Pete How am I? A question that many ask, and few answer truthfully. I don't know how I am....sometimes I think I am doing ok, then not 30 minutes later, I feel like shit. It goes both ways. Am I depressed, or is this just normal. Am I happy because I am taking anti-depressents, or will I ever be happy with out them. How am I? I wish I could truly be happy. 030225 ... di luce How are you? How have things been? Good. That's good. How am I? Oh I'm fine I guess. No, no. It's just this sadness. Well, I can't help it. It's just here. I can't forget about all of it. Because it was important to me. A lot of things are important to me. You never call. You never called. Yeah, I suppose. I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams. Nothing but the sounds of doors slamming. 030225 ... big gay als big gay boat ride (Saint) Ssssuper...Thanks for assssking 030226 ... splinken i've got really big hair and i can't sleep. 030309 ... j i'm only asking you so you'll talk to me. and then hopefully you'll ask me how i am so that i can rattle off nonsense to you 030309 ... x screwed_up 030309 ... counterentity alive 030829 ... endless desire tell_me_about_your_day. . . i still want to know. 030829 ... Death of a Rose when people ask me this....i tend to catch them off guard with: but of course. Always. better than you (jab, jab) sterile. difficult. quite squishy. squinting. fantabulous. itchy. 031016 ... ferret how am i? i don't know. it kinda depends on when you ask me. if i've just woken up, i'd say that i was simply existing, waiting to get on the bus for school and listne to music and frown at everybody. if i were on the bus listening to music looking out the window at the rising sun, i would say that i was content, as content as anyone who's riding towards iminent disaster. Once i get to school i would say that i was just waiting for the day to be over. In first period i would say that i was once again almost infuriated by the simplicity of my english class. In second period i would say that i was better than first because sonya's in that class and we write each other notes, which is more fun than just sleeping. Passing period after 2'nd period - i would be fantabulous; talking to sonya in the halls and walking her to her class, then running all the way across campus to my class with the memory of our little 3-minute discussion. in third period i would say utterly bored and dreadful. I had to write a report thing on the history of the internet and present it and i basically plagerized the whole thing and he's sooooo going to know. Passing period between 3'rd and 4'th period is good because i'm talking to sonya in the hall again. sometimes we walk right in between couples, fun stuff. I'm usually in a good-ish mood by then. 4'th period is typing. i like to type but the class is just utterly irritating because she repeats like, 4 billion times per period: "remember to use the home keys, that means that every "a" should be typed with the little baby finger of the left hand, and ever "s" should be blah blah blah and so on". Passing period between 4'th and 5'th is nice because sonya is once again, in the halls and talking to me. 5'th period is good because my math teacher actually HAS a sense of humor so i can make cool-o jokes and stuff. lunch is the best forkin' part of my day because that's when i get to talk to everybody and all that, i'm usually exstatic at that point. when the bell rings it's like, the most depressing sound you've ever heard because then it's time to go to 6'th period. 6'th period is tolerable and i'm usually ok in that class because we have ssr for 10 mins and i just keep reading for the whole period anyway. It's science class. Imagine that. 7'th period is dreadful because we have to do these stupid warmup things in pe and they play what is quite possibly THE STUPIDEST MUSIC EVER and yeah. and when we have to run that doesn't help. Plus everyone in that class is either a total ass or totally immature, except for like, 1 person, and she wasn't here today. When the final bell rings i grin and begin walking to the bus again. I put my headphones on and talk to sonya occasionally and i reced into a blissful state until i get home. I walk up the little hill to my house and solemly open the door. Time for some homework and, yep, you guessed it, PYRAMID! with donny osmond! did i spell that right? i don't even care. sometimes i hang out with friends, that's always blissful. sleep is nice but i know that when i wake up i will either have to go to the bathroom or go to school. which is never good. but yeah, tonight's friday so i get to do basically whatever i want so i guess i'm doing pretty good right now. tomorrow's saturday and i'm planning to go downtown with sonya so that's something to look forward to. 031018 ... Death of a Rose experiencing flashbacks of a neural disorder 040328 ... jane most people ask the question without need for a response. they expect, fine, how are you? how come i know how to say it in six different languages? that was a lie, maybe three or four. but really, is it really that important of a part of the conversation? what happened to the real things, the things that matter? well maybe i'm mad because i'm repressing myself again. ah 040328 ... pete disillusioned, slightly insane, sick of waiting, giving up hope that this classmate will call and feeling that i wasted the afternoon waiting, although the last chunk of "Pastwatch: The Redemtion of Christopher Columbus" that I read reminded me of the upcoming Peak Oil Crisis, and made me slightly depressed. I gave up news to fight the depression it brings, as well as the depression I was facing.. it is mostly beat back, comes up now and again. I like the honesty blather grants me. Honesty is good. I don't want to go to class in 2 hours. This is my last monday of school, so there is pressure to get this essay done and start studying for my exams that are three weeks away. Essay first. Then relaxation then exam. How are you. That question is never so simple is it? I have shivers, but I hold them in, and that is a comfort. I really have a bad habit of trusting people to remember what they have committed too and wasting afternoons, evenings, mornings, ect waiting for them to follow through. I can't give up until the time changes. From 12.30 to 4 (15 more minutes). At 4 I eat. I am a bit hungry, but I've never felt starving and have no real need to eat until tomorrow at the earliest. There is power in the fast. But, no, I like my food. So how am I? Insane, sick of waiting, slightly sad, overwhelming happy, disturbed, content, tired (3.30am fire alarms are not my friends), hopeful, in love, a tad depressed, trapped in the future, caught by the past, lost in the moment.. I am pete 040329 ... jane you know, for a while there pete - i thought i knew you. c'est la vie 040329 ... misstree doing soverymuch better today. almost ready to deal with this stuff. 040401 ... Syrope you keep asking, and i keep wanting to strangle you i'm happy, but alone i'm sleepy, but learning i'm jealous, but on the brink of another mood swing that about sums it up 040402 ... SW Fine. I'll always say fine. I can be sitting there, slashing my wrists, and if you ask me how I am, I'll say "Fine." It's so much easier than the truth. How am I really? Lost. Alone. Scared. Deaf. Blind. Dead. Incompetent. Hurt. Betrayed. Unwanted. Unimportant. Hopeless. Unloved. Not me. Tormented. Ambigious. Blurry. Invisible. Dark. Too young. Too old. Too everything, but not even close to enough. Never. Good. Enough. Hurting. Wanting more. Wanting nothing. Quitting. Uncaring. Does it really matter? No. I'll always be fine. 040402 ... SW Fine. I'll always say fine. I can be sitting there, slashing my wrists, and if you ask me how I am, I'll say "Fine." It's so much easier than the truth. How am I really? Lost. Alone. Scared. Deaf. Blind. Dead. Incompetent. Hurt. Betrayed. Unwanted. Unimportant. Hopeless. Unloved. Not me. Tormented. Ambigious. Blurry. Invisible. Dark. Too young. Too old. Too everything, but not even close to enough. Never. Good. Enough. Hurting. Wanting more. Wanting nothing. Quitting. Uncaring. Confused. Does it really matter? No. I'll always be fine. 040402 ... SW# sorry for the double post. 040402 ... Doar I'm fine. Yourself? I'm fine as well. *kaboom* 040722 ... whitechocolatewalrus quit lying, i'll chase you down one day and you'll be sorry so so sorry that you said you were great when you obviously weren't 040722 ... lou_la_belle how are you? nice to see you again. i thought you were gone. did that smile mean something? ...or not? i wish you had left. maybe. perhaps you've changed though. can i ask you something? smile at me again like that. like you used to. let me think you're different. let me be glad you're still here. i wonder what you're feeling. how are you? 040722 ... pSyche That's all you can say after all this time...? "How are you?" And an awkward silence ensues. 060207 ... falling_alone so content a mug of cooling tea dried papaya dogma on the tv... and my room mate and her blind date making out on the bed next to me. content because i can't see them and i love silent bob as well as alan rickman. 060207 ... senta real answer to that question is " and how about you?" They aren't really interested in you, talking about yourself is always more of a priority. 060207 ... no reason this is a relative question. i suppose i'm better than some and worse than others. i try to think of it this way when i feel less than okay. 120719 what's it to you? who go blather from