disillusioned sphinxradio so you might not want to tell me everything you might not want to get into it at all i only wish it had been simpler from the beginning. 020127 ... optic discretion I only wish I had never created my own illusional world ... 020128 ... bencvt Without pain there can be no joy. I hope that someday I will be disillusioned of that fact, discovering my eternal Sybaritic hideway. 021015 ... flattened when you figure it out i just don't want to be the one you leave. 021015 ... nisus In a few moments, I will look you in the eye. You want sex. Maybe I do as well. Perhaps not... I raise my eyes... but later? No. My eyes return to the floor. You call. You are confused. You are sorry. I am too. I transgressed. What is it that you want, you ask me, as if I could decipher your twisted thoughts. What do I want? I'm not certain. No, really, I don't know. No, I'm tired of non-relationships. Never work. So now you tell me your desire. Not me. No. You still want her. Though she left you. You don't want to hurt me, really you don't. And you say it as if I can’t understand. As if I weren't disillusioned before your eyes but a few months ago. Stop pulling me in. I won't commiserate. Eat chocolate. Suck it up. I'm still your friend. And nothing comes from dwelling on dreams. 040201 ... naive artist I used to think the sky was blue, and the grass was green, and the flowers were beautiful, and the music was sweet, and that life was divine, and that you loved me. But I changed my mind. 040708 ... nonlucid Illusions self-created, give you the blame for the breaking Why couldn't you play along, say the lines I'd scripted for you? 040708 ... puredream re-illusioned 040708 ... puredream re_illusioned 040708 ... pete heart-shattered 040709 ... god god bless america, land that... uhhh i guess i forgot to do that. 041106 what's it to you? who go blather from