are_you_bored__we're_all_bored 2 1/2 wise cracks Wax the ceiling. Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car. Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet. Repeat above until failure. Rearrange political campaign signs. Sharpen your teeth. Play Houdini with one of your siblings. Braid your dogs hair. Clean and polish your belly button. Water your dog and see if he grows. Wash a tree. Genuflect to Lawrence Welk. Knight yourself and some close friends. Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending. Flirt with an evergreen. Scare Stephen King. Give your cat a mohawk. Purr. Mow your carpet. Rake your carpet(to clean up the clippings.) Whine. Play Pat Boone records backwards. Re-elect Richard Nixon. Dress like your favorite metal group...surprise your grandmother. Listen to a painting. Play with matches. Buff your cat. Raise professional racing ferrets. Paint your home day-glo orange. Dial-a-Prayer and argue. Read Homer in the original Greek. Learn Greek. Change your mind. Change it back. Watch the sun and see if it moves. Mail Jerry Falwell a Hustler magazine. Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster. Paint your windows. Flash your goldfish. Paint. Smile. Paint a smile. Shoot at a fire hydrant. Apologize to it. See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement. Rotate your garden...daily. Plant a shoe. Write letters to the political officials that are representing you, and tell them what a good job they are doing. Sweat. Give a Rorschach Test to your gerbil. Take apart all your major kitchen appliances. Mix and match the parts. Turn your TV picture tube upside down. Take your sofa for a walk. Write a letter to Plato. Mail it. Start. Stop. Dial 911...breathe heavily. Go to a funeral and tell jokes. Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets. Carry a tune. Drop it to see if it breaks. Starch your shoes. Contemplate a cockroach. Get a dog to chase your car. Let him catch it. Form a political party. Throw a political party. Climb a sidewalk. Ride a loaf of bread. Annoy yourself. Get angry with yourself. Stop speaking to yourself. Kiss and make-up. Stand on your head. Stand on someone else's head. Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire. Read a Harlequin Romance Novel...but only if you're REALLY bored. Build a pyramid. Paint your teeth. Wear a salad. Speak with a forked tongue. MAKE a drive in window at your local bank. Walk on water...but *don't* get caught. Shave a shrub. Have a proton fight. Watch a car rust. Quiver. Confess to a crime that you didn't commit. Learn to type...with your toes. Buy the Brooklyn Bridge. Mail it to a friend. Be in the wrong place at the right time. Be someone special. Plot the overthrow of your local School Board. Request covert assistance from the CIA. Factor your social security number. Take the fifth. Take the sixth. Read the 1962 Des Moines White Pages. Join the Foreign Legion. Learn to write Sanskrit. Learn to read Sanskrit. Exist...existentially of course. Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska. Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes. Print counterfeit Confederate money. Kick a cabbage. Take a picture. Put it back. Go back to square one. Sand a mushroom. Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor. Play solitaire...for cash. Abuse your patio furniture. Run for Pope. If you don't win, run for God. If you still don't win, run for Mayor of Toledo. Write a book about a previous life. Count to a million...fast. Have your cat bronzed. Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins. Revert. Sleep on a bed of nails. Don't toss and turn. Think shallow thoughts. Run around in squares. Boil ice cream. Sterilize your stereo, with Jack Daniels. Carve your girl/boyfriends initials...in a marshmallow. Converse with a flatworm. Speak in acronyms. Drive the speed limit...in your garage. Make a schematic drawing...of a rock. Be a rabid Boxcar Willie fan. Sing the National Anthem...during your calculus final. Pay off the national debt...with a bad check. Calmly have a nervous breakdown. Give your goldfish a perm. Fly a brick. Play tag...on the nearest interstate. Exorcize a ghost. Exercise a ghost. Go to a cemetery and verbally abuse dead people. Paint stripes on a lake. Ski Kansas. Wear a bowler...hat, stupid. Test thin ice...with a pogo stick. Apply for a Unicorn Hunting License. Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes. Do a good job. Crawl. Be a side affect. Ride a bicycle up Mt. McKinley. Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck. Duck. Redecorate your garage. Develop a complex. Join the Army...be someone simple. Try harder. Hit the deck. Cut the deck. Make a deal with the Devil...keep your fingers crossed. Put legwarmers on all your furniture. Be number six. Sit. Stay. Roll over. Play dead. Scheme. Sprinkle your family room. Cause a power failure. Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed. Give a lecture tour on the historical significance of cream cheese. Wriggle. Be cherubic. Debate politics with a fern. If you lose stop watering it. Donate your brother's body to science. Join Hell's Angels by mail. Wonder. Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave.(Editor's Note: Random News is *not* condoning the microwaving of cats, or other small mammals.) Be a square root. Park your car with a friend. Park your car with a group of friends. Ask stupid questions. Surf Ohio. Go bowling for small game. Have your first statement of bankruptcy framed. Hang it on the wall in your office. Staple. Solve the population problem. i.e. x + 2y - 16x = population; solve for x. Contribute to the population problem. Interview a cloud. Play tiddly-winks...go for blood. Go to a drive-in movie in a tank. Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway. Crumble. Crumple. Translate Shakespeare into English. Skydive...to church. Send the president an alarm clock...wind it up first. Do aerobics...in your head. Play cards with your swimming pool. Found a cockroach stable and stud farm. Send your goldfish to obedience school. Pinstripe your driveway. Play "Kick the fire-hydrant." Harness chipmunk power. Free the oppressed toaster-ovens of America. Free the obsessed toaster-ovens of America. Mug a stop sign. Change your name...daily. Go for a walk...in the attic. Challenge the neighbor kid to duel. Find a witch. Burn her. Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat.(Editor's Note: Random News is not condoning the skinning of cats. Other small mammals are fine.) Go bow hunting...for Toyotas. Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids. Boldly go where no one has gone before. Jump back. Play to lose. Scalp a VW. Be a threat to the American way of life. Be a threat to the Canadian-American way of life. Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Toronto. Have your car painted plaid. Found the TLO(Toledo Liberation Organization). Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation. Race turnips. Give your grandmother a raise...and another week paid vacation. Sharpen your sleeping skills. Put out a fire. If you can't find one, make one. Ionize your new chemistry professor(remember, you took the heat capacity of the first one). Make a lifesized replica of the Statue of Liberty...out of grape gelatin. Tree a goldfish. Get a college education. Bury your fathers Nissan. Tell your him the dog did it. Catch a falling star. Throw it back. Place your cat in hyper-space. Again tell your dad the dog did it. Corner the market on Agnew in '76 buttons. Find out where all these cylinders graduated from. Install handicapped access to the(your favorite pathetic baseball team's name here) dugout. Kickstart your TV. Kickstop your TV. Perfect the internal combustion telephone. Complain to God that Jupiter has more moons than we do. Prove once and for all that a cow can too jump over the moon. 010208 ... NiNNy Nu Nu I'm still bord. what shalt I do about it? go totally mad. pull my hair out. cry for mercy. turn in to a nut case. I'm too bloody hyper and I don't know why. 010513 ... Skinner Friend and I've already been to the bloody moon, and seen all those sexy astro nauty ones what next drink pepsi in the park, and later when it gets dark, fuck under the fig tree? I already saw a liitle buttie, he was a poor boy and now we're friends, he had a button missing , butt it dosn't matter, we held hands too, he's ony 7 and hes's got a pair of flip flops, where's santa gone then he asked. I can't give you santa, but I can be you're friend, we had sooo much fun, I taught him the Skinner shake, you know the one from .... Stand by me.(Skin Skin Brick) chink. 010515 ... P.S. I also told buttie that X=Y. see simplicity in complexity, I hate maths too, bloody hell fuck it, just try mixing art wiv science, you splat shat boringOs. love ringO Star, I'm a drummer too. ony way to get your hyper dimentional looney good time rolling. 010515 ... minnesota_chris ok, so I am bored. I'm buying a new look, a new outfit. I've been angry and weird all my life, so it's time I bought some black clothes. They're used military outfits, and I look like a bad ass. Trouble is, I drive a Toyota Corolla. I think I'm going to paint it desert camoflage colors and mount a gun to the top of it. Have I been living in the suburbs too long? I was normal in the city, really I was. 040619 ... kookaburra i think im gonna go polish my bellybutton. toodles 040619 ... three words fever are_you_bored__we're_all_bored flawless 100926 ... nit forever nuts! 100927 ... stolen http://xar.us/funny/bored.html 100928 ... . Telephone_jim_jesus 100928 what's it to you? who go blather from