i_want_to_talk_to_you_so_much gull i want to talk to you so much. that's why i called earlier. you didn't want to talk to me and i can understand that. that's fine. i can wait for you. i can wait and wait and wait. i'll wait until you're ready. you're worth waiting for. you know i've always thought that. but i really do want to talk to you. don't worry, i don't want a fight. i never want another fight. never. i don't want anymore stupid rows. i just want everything to be alright. i want what we had before. that's what i want. i want what we had before. i want to turn back time. (don't we all?) i don't want you to feel awkward. i don't want you to feel any guilt. i want to feel all that stuff. i hate knowing that you've got a weight on your shoulders that you want to shift. darling, shift it my way. you don't deserve it. you think you do, but you don't. i don't want to have to grovel (although, if that's what it takes...) i don't want you to think me fickle, but i want you to know how i feel, and this is genuine. this is coming from my heart, just like it always has here. this is the place where i'm honest and sensitive and maybe even... human. i really do want to talk to you. i want to feel that i mean something to you, because you mean so much to me... you mean the world to me. you're my best friend, you know? i just never knew how i was supposed to show it back there. my feelings were so messed up. i just can't feel sometimes. that's not meant to be an excuse. the fact is, i was a bitch. the rows never went away because i never let them leave. but i don't want to go over the past. i went over it again and again... i don't want to cling to things that i should let go. if i'd let go then, i'd still be with you now. 020429 ... gull it's all my fault. i'm so sorry. i miss you. you don't miss me. you don't even like me. i messed things up. please forgive me. i need you. i'm so sorry. i'm so very sorry. 020429 ... kerry but i am blinded by your oh-so-hotness...... youch 020429 ... silentbob to make sure i haven't blinded you 020429 ... stork daddy but it's just too much pressure...so i'll just chill if it's cool with you 020429 ... bethany but i just smell you and turn around and think it must be that i used your shampoo...but i didn't use it i just smell you you're gone and it's in my head 020429 ... Mahayana youll never know the full eXtent of my desires 020429 ... ever dumbening i spent all weekend writing about you because of you last night i dreamt about you because of you it's been too long it's time to let go you're married now but i need to know about you because of you 020429 ... gull i've thought every day and night about how stupid i was to let it go. the chance we had held such promise, yet now there's nothing left but ash. and who is to blame? not you, oh no. you may think so, but you're wrong. it's me. 020430 ... gull i made him write you a story today. maybe you won't even want to read it, but it was something to do, i guess. i hope you'll read it someday. someday when we're friends again... 020430 ... Daria I can think of so many things that can replace "talk to". 020501 ... gull i seem to remember this. you put it so simply. it makes me laugh now. it's one of those dry laughs. actually, it's not a laugh at all, really. but let me quote a little... "you're like a twin to me. disconnecting from you is like disconnecting from myself." very interesting. seems a complete load of rubbish now, of course, but it's still very interesting. well, maybe it's not a complete load of rubbish, so i'll take that back. hell, i'm taking lots of things back these days, so one more thing won't hurt. see, it can't be a complete load of rubbish, because it makes me wonder. it makes me wonder how good you must be feeling now that you've disconnected from yourself. i hope you feel good. i hope you feel really good. i hope i've made that possible for you. hey, maybe i'm good for something, after all. god forbid. 020509 ... jessica i want to talk to my friend travis before he became mean to me again. 020515 ... gull you can't make someone talk to you. it's a damn shame, but you can't. you have to wait until they're ready, and that can be sheer torture... or it can be a blessing in disguise. the jury's still out on that one. 020519 ... Arwyn I want to hear the voice that makes me feel so complete, steady, loved, important, and needed. I love hearing your voice. It's so soothing, and perfect. Oh sweetie, call me. 020520 ... cheer-up-emo-kid but I can never tell you what I want to. [don't die on the motorway the moon would freeze the plants would die I couldn't cope if you crashed today all the things I forgot to say i'm going out for a little drive could be the last time you see me alive what if the car loses control what if there's someone overtaking?] 020623 ... Kate but you're at home or with your friends. perhaps I'll just call to hear your voice and then hang up and pray you don't have caller id. but you probably would be out getting some. because everybody wants some love, oh baby. I'm listening to Pinkerton now. I have a new friend with Rivers glasses who listens and has dyed red hair and he's taller than me. but I still miss you. tremendously. for silly reasons. but she's making me a Tracee suit so when you see me(her) at the barn I'll seduce you. goodnight. 020624 ... jessicafletcher alone at the computer. for the second night in a row ryan said he'd call at 11 or 12. it's 1:19. i'm not mad. i'm worried.last night he got attacked by some bitch trying to screw him. he walked home. i miss him. i should whip her ass. but i don't like to use physical force. so ryan, i want to talk to you so much if only you saw the tears you couldn't turn away i want to talk to you so much so why must you pretend these miles make me disappear? i want to talk to you so much and i am right here a bazillion miles between us time distance and tears don't push me away i'm far enough already i want to talk to you so much just call 020713 ... shadesofgrey you say it hurts you too much. 020714 ... jessicafletcher i want to talk to you so much. the way you look is enough for words, though. you have that angel hair and those big blue eyes. i guess i can live with this. but jeez, call me when you break up with beth. 021211 ... Syrope but you're never there when i call and you don't come online anymore. you never want to see me again, but i'm coming home for xmas and i'm not sure if i'll try to change your mind...just know that i want to. but you're always with her or sleeping or hiding behind your nondescript away message and your info - the ramblings that insinuate you think about what happened with us but never say anything concrete but you don't come online anymore because you are tired of people wanting things from you. well i want something from you. i want you to drop by unexpectedly to watch me sleep, like before...i want you to tell me what exactly what you were afraid we'd regret about that night. 021211 ... Neal Boortz It would seem that the Neal Boortz bobblehead doll has attracted the interest of a young Afghan girl in Kabul. Also, if you could see the enlarged picture you would note that his golf club is broken. Probably the work of the Taliban who outlawed golf and cancelled the PGA Tour stop in Afghanistan when they took over. 021211 ... unhinged he doesn't get that you can't make someone talk to you i know that i know she doesn't want to talk to me i want to talk to her so bad i miss her i miss getting fucked up with her i miss being depressed with her i miss driving in her car with her i miss helping her through it i miss her helping me through it but she doesn't want to talk to me she hates me now and i will not push just because he thinks we should make up my stand-offishness makes me a child but i just know how to give space if i push she will never like me if i let her hate me for awhile she may change her mind and decide to take me back i knew as it was happening that she would misconstrue my reasons hate me for it and months later i just can't call her up and be like 'hey how's it going?' because i hated it when other people did that to me i can't be a hypocrite like that but i want to talk to her so bad because i miss my friend more than anything he misses us being friends but he was just a goddamn third party he wasn't there for everytime we held each other when the other was crying he doesn't know how much i miss MY friend so he calls me a child thinking i am being naieve and young in my silence when sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is let them decide on their own maybe she can't forgive me no matter what words i use and maybe i want to respect that no matter how much i miss my friend because she is my friend still even though i'm the one that fucked it all up 030301 ... girl_jane but you won't use the phone... 030524 ... ClairE because that would mean we'd be side_by_side in_the_dark. 030524 ... lo i want to talk to you so much...you were the first person i met in along time who seemed worth talking to at all. you were intelligent and passionate and you had a curiosity that seems so rare. i'd love to sit and talk politics or movies or books with you...you seems so...very -much-. we talked and spent over 16 hard hours together from dc to jacksonville and i just wanted to talk to you, know you, understand what you are made of. but you won't let me. you wrote twice and ditched me. i guess i wasn't as intriguing to you as you were to me. i just wish i could play that 16 hrs+ over again and truely make it worth it. 030524 ... pobodys nerfect It never ceases to amaze me how I can have really long and fun conversations with guys I think of friends, but the ones I'd like to get to know beyond that have always been the ones I can't really talk to. It's always been that way too. I just don't get it... 030525 ... niska [sarcasticly] but i like watching you die inside when i don't... 030525 ... little wonder and now i am, and i just feel like i'm fucking things up all over again. 030526 ... Dustin* ....but I know that things will never be the same again.. ....we will only speak of how much we have hurt eachother...... ....if we could only go back to where things fell apart and prent ourselves from breaking..... ....maybe we would be alright.... ....maybe we would be sitting on my bed listening to music and laughing so hard that our stomachs would hurt.... ....I want to talk to you so much and tell you that I miss you and that I still care.... 030622 what's it to you? who go blather from