loss
a person it's when something changes in your life, probably the presence of a person or a place...a thing that was an active part of who you actually are.

when you are ready to recover from your loss, you shift the structures of your psyche...fully knowing that it will never be the same.
990819
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senser I never had it in the first place. But when things go missing, you can't help but notice, as if the soft caress of an autumn wind has somehow blown the leaves to slightly different arrangements on the ground. Hell yeah, this is real, you want the whole story? Quickly then . . .

Club,

Girl,

Drugs,

House,

Sofa,

Drugs,

Bed, talking ;-

And that's when I find out she's carrying the soon-to-be-dead son of a man I've known for ten years.

Yes, loss is a funny thing, it can affect you for the better or for the worse, but me?

I'd have been happiest if I'd at least got to have it for a while.
000523
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kate "a butterfly ring i gave to a killer i met in the plaza" 001110
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tit how can you grieve a loss of something that was never yours? something that was never real? like her love. if she has no soul, if she is empty, then how can i be so sad and grieve the loss of her affection? i am insane? 010314
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Adara i feel a loss
though i have lost none
feeling for those yet to come
he is gone, or shall i say will be?
my mind exists in a duality of times
contriction at the core of me
block the passage of my peace
for he is gone, or will be
010624
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angie a lot of times i feel like i am at a loss for worlds. especially when i am around the four. when they hurt me. i dont talk. they get concerned. but theyre the ones that have hurt me in the first place. its a bad cycle. i just...dont feel like saying anything to them sometimes. cuz its pointless i guess. but i dont know. 020510
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ben sand we are sitting here waiting to go to bloomsday, and its fucking hot outside. we seem to have forgotten where we are, we are at loss with our surroundings. 020709
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king kong NINJA i was in a world brimming with broad shoulders and purpose.

there was only one type of smile, all others were above or below my graps.

there were songs playing on the radio. I would trade wonder for ownership as days went by.

the sky sometimes was blindingly blue. colors bled into one another quicker than i could name them, boundries rose and broke in clouds, fences holding in dragons and wolves.

the stairs creaked heavy. the father was home. there were no other fathers. strange subordinant men would sometimes speak to him, casually laughing or pointing at something in the distance they no doubt were asking him about.

One day clouds break out all over the sky. It could've happened many days but i paid attention this day. the father died and his eyes fell to the bottom of a puddle, like the drawing i dropped had earlier in the day. The final face i had never seen, it was still, and pale, i looked down upon it for the first time he was waiting for me to be done. The face momentarily became mine. i look out for something. mother nods and i imitate her motions. i don't know what comes before this face or if it is always the same. Am i making the face that comes before it? i don't know if there is any way to tell, any way to look at it so the loss seems slow like clouds are slow. sometimes there has been a dragon in the clouds all along and you frighten yourself noticing it too suddenly.
030429
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once again I'm at loss. I can say nothing to change or fix, words are just words. I have lost before, many things, my hamster, my goldfish, my house key, your phone number. I cannot speak, the pain hovers in my chest. I am at a loss. 030904
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mon everybody wins 040319
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Corey And some know a pain so deep. You dont want to taste the smoke from their ashes. 040412
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ethereal When I lose you to her it'll be a loss. 040412
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noname in every loss, there is somebody who gains. 040525
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pete i read yesterday in "White Plague" by Frank Herbert that each true Celtic victory needs a deep sense of loss or defeat or profound sorrow. 040526
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anna I want to tell him every day how much I miss him 041217
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sirflaccid Everyday it seems more like my life will be nothing more than a constant roller coaster of gain and loss. I lost her, I am loosing him, and I have lost myself. 050104
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Freak you will never be able to hold on to anything if you haven't found yourself first. 050105
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sirflaccid I found myself once.

There was a beautiful girl that helped me along the way.

But when we got to the place where I was hiding she decided there wasn't enough drama to keep her amused.

So she ran away.

This made me re-think the idea of being me. Because obviously, he's not what they really want.
050106
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kelc it thrives through my vains and everytime an emotional scab is picked it bleeds out of me.. 050204
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Carly-Jo Staring at you, watching me
Your touch like whispers across my skin
Intensity building as you caress
Stirring feelings from deep down within

Id give you my soul if your smile were mine
Id take nothing else of yours for my own
To be the one who is there the minute you fall
Id ensure that youre never alone

When we kiss its like my pulse is electric
The sparks fly from deep in my heart
The warmth of your arms wrapped around me
It hurts me that were kept apart

Your eyes like a doorway to heaven
Deeper than Gods mighty seas
Oblivion reflected, unaltered
Your yearning, your hunger for me

That hunger I fear will defeat me
Im nothing but human at best
But to have you so close and let go
Will surely be my ultimate test

The pain as it stands is impressive
The effect that you have is so raw
The passion compressed is colossal
My heart from my mind has been tore

But as you live, stop and cast a glance
Ill still be here, if you need a guide
Silently on the outskirts of your life
Content to be your friend outside
050404
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lynnlynn My dear mom...why did you have to go? Nothing means shit anymore. I died the day you did, my body still goes though. I need you. 090125
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niecespieces To your loss,
I give you my sympathies.
As unknown and unapriciated as they may be.
They would of ment something in the past.
090903
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unhinged i couldn't quantify
until someone(s) gave me back things
i didn't even realize were gone

the obvious loss
easy to count
(this sunday it will be eleven years since she died)


but the things that change
when you aren't looking
the parts you give away
without realization
those parts
can't even begin to be counted

usually
loss is replaced with gain
but somethings go away
never to come back

i haven't been afraid of death
for a long time
facing_mortality
i'm more afraid of losing my heart
once piece at a time
years of alone
cause i'm afraid
some day i won't have anymore pieces
to give away
100326
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Soma sitting at the desk
the incadescent bulbs flicker
i cast two shadows
one across the screen in front of me
where i see you and hear you
but in delayed time
the other on my empty right hand

a chill pervades the room
I only notice it alone
in the warmth of my own blankets
and you come creeping down my spine
12 shades of black
all mixed from accidental colors
and things better left unsaid

i am flame
and you the unavoidable result
of my existance
complements of one another
but intended separate
this emptiness is specific
this black space is you
100327
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unhinged i still miss you

olga
100328
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from