endless desire why do you type your name so annoyingly? 040605
lilmomma Ohh goth girl youve got your own page!!!! im so excited for you!!!
how are you doing in your wiccan studies? blessed be

is ambermoon
dosquatch goth_girl_says_goodbye 040605
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl OMG i have my own page!!!! cool! admittedly its from someone complaining about me but still, i have my own page. The question of typing my name annoyingly is in your opinion, endless desire, im sorry if it appears annoying to you. I could bitch about other people's names but i don't, so i don't see why you're complaining about me. Sure it might be in alternating case letters, but i dont type all my blathes like that, which is something i think many people would be grateful for.

My name would just be boring written as insecure_goth_girl, yet another pathetic excuse for a messageboard name, but it stands out the way that i type it. It stands out, like me where i live. You can scroll down the page and my name will jump out at you when you're reading. If you don't like it, well im sorry, but you don't have to look at it.

This will probably come out very cranky, and considering i have a really bad headache, maybe thats why. *shrugs* ah well, never mind. Anyway, ordinarily i would apologise for typing my name the way that i do just to avoid confrontation if i dont want to fight, and i would have done if you hadn't just deliberately antagonised me by insulting me. Im probably over-reacting but it's nice to be able to feel something for once. If you had said something like

'Oh, i wondered why you type your name the way that you do, because it's quite hard to look at, could you possibly type it differently?'

then i would have probably obliged, or at least been more civil. As it is i'm quite annoyed that my page was begun over a complaint and not a friendly work or a sentence.

if i'm over-reacting feel free to say so, but i think that your refreshing honesty was a little sharp.
pete i'd like to welcome you back 040618
spiffy i think your name is fine just the way it is. :) 040618
smurfus rex word.

*tosses over a Tootsie Roll pop*
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl hey thanks pete *smiles and waves*

spiffy *winks* i like your name too, it's pretty damn cool!

uncle smurfus *beams and hugs* thanks!
you know that i was just testing with the 'word' not 'work' thing, yeah. *cough*
smurfus rex I didn't even notice...hehe.

my 'word' was like, y'know, "word up"...

yeah. :)
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl oh.
*cringes and dies from embarrassment*
damn, i made myself look like a fool for no reason ^_^
Doar Nah, definitely not a fool.

endless desire hahaha i was in a bad mood and felt like pissing someone off. i can be a real bitch you know. i hope i didn't get to you. forgive and forget, love? 040717
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl lol i was pissed off too.
sorry bout the whole over-reaction thing there *fidgets*
s'all done now ^_^

to be honest, i want to thank you for giving me my own page *grins*
lilmomma just wanted to say hi...

u24 go to beltaine 040813
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl cries when nobody's looking
wont hide her tears to make the world look away
screams and screams inside
but silently stands
forgets who she is
forgets how to dream
feels inadequate
IS inadequate
has forgotten how to be a friend
doesnt know her friends at all
knows herself even less
hates feeling so stupid
doesnt know why she's sad but cries anyway
wants to be thin
so so desperately wants to be thin
is more secure hating than liking herself
feels dirty sometimes for being bisexual
feels sad sometimes for being bisexual
feels happier than she's ever been for being bisexual
can't accept herself
is ashamed to let people know her
is ashamed of everything about herself.
is so so afraid of the future
needs to cry the fear away
and cries when nobody's looking.
flexible someone who isn't iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl
writes letters, not to stop the crying (it doesn't matter, my friend it does not matter) but to ease the pain.
wants to wipe away the tears and make you smile.
stands behind you and tries to support you.
will always remember who you are.
will always dream, for you and of you
knows how much more than adequate you are.
will always value you as a friend.
knows that you know her, as a friend, better than anyone else.
wants to help you get to know yourself.
knows that feeling and being are two very different things.
knows crying is part of being human, and so is being sad.
makes no comment on being thin (you know her views) but wants to help you to be happy.
thinks that security can become a habit, and not a good one.
thinks so much of you for being you.
has always, will always accept you.
is immensely proud to know you.
fails to see the reasons to be ashamed.
shares the fear of the future (and knows she'll need help to get through it).
smiles the fear in the face.
looks when no-one else does.

loves you.
New Zealand death gurl kool

i'm insecure 2 and i would be goth if my parents would let me buy my own clothes. (fuck you you stupid olds)
young pretender there are a lot of insecure goth girls in the world. i know at least 3. but you seem unique. congratulations. 041129
youre safe now 041129
nemo eh.. to the new zealand girl... im not goth, but im pretty sure theres more to it that just the apperance... or atleast my friends who call themselves goth do alot more than just wear black and chains. 041129
fix 041129
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl im pleased im unique
thanks young pretender

question: are you the same young pretender that i emailed ages and ages ago? if so, feel free to email again, you're a cool guy.

if its not the same one, thanks for taking the time to post ^_^

and nemo, i like you.
you're pretty damn funky.

and to the person that posted 'fix'-

quit it!
you're annoying the hell outta me asshole

intolerant? moi?
anne-girl wants to join your fan club 041206
smurfus rex Did you know that if you get a Tootsie Roll pop wrapper that has the kid with the Indian headdress shooting a bow and arrow at a star, you can trade it in for a free one at the store?

At least, you *used* to be able to do that. I haven't tried it in awhile.

And you may have missed the mess, but there was a guy/girl who was making the text on particular blathes blue, thus making it seem like it had been erased. The "fix" poster did just that...she fixed your blathe so the words came back. Just a heads-up in case you find another blathe with "fix" as a post. ;)
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl ah.......
i i blamed the wrong person? shit i feel really bad.
sorry for the fix person, very sorry indeed.
thanks for bringing the words back, and seriously, my most sincere apologies for being mad at the wrong person.
and thanks smurfus for clearing that up.
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl *shrieks* anne-girl!
you made my day saying that! thankyou!
*is overjoyed and exuberant* ooo i can say i have a fanclub now!
im not superficial.
stop looking at me like that, dammit!

*grins and hugs* now to post more exuberance on your page!
IGG is here, blathing drunk. 050829
flexible just left, staggering.

so we took s'more pro_plus (our saviour) and discussed moving onto the really hard stuff.
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl has changed a lot.
has a boyfriend now (how strange)
has decided not to take antidepressants just yet.

is exploring new things.
is blathering less often, and
is sad about that.
is wondering what to do with her life,
in the few seconds she has when she's not living it.
is developing strong views about certain topics.
is becoming alienated from her friends
due to differences of opinions
and through her own fault.

is not in love,
though she loves many people.

is waiting for another blather_birthday
2 years soon.

IGG feels very different
from how she's been in the past.
feels more grown up
more responsible
and more disillusioned.
has doubts, many many doubts abouther life even now.
wants to take drugs
but really doesn't.
has confused thoughts, and a confusing choice.

although she is feeling much better than before, the depression intrudes at the odd moment, and those moments are getting closer together.

knew she was going to miss her friends, most gone to uni.
is drifting away from everyone
doesnt feel she needs anyone
but then starts
and realises
life's just so much safer with cushioning people
because really
what else do friends do?
cries because she's losing/[lost?] her soulmate
feels oddly conflicted and yet at peace.

reads her writing and realises
she has changed a lot.
IGG is 2!
feels new
had a fab new year at Erick Morillo's Secret Ball
feels that chemicals do make happiness
[figure that one out]
is no longer trapped by this earthly prison, because she can access the door out whenever she wants.
and so she can never be as depressed as before, because the rules have changed.
player 3 can leave the arena, so to speak.

is more relaxed
has embraced certain truths and has given up the feeling of shame.


changes her writing style, yet is still recognisable as the iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl that wrote her first blathe.
pete happy blatheday :) 060107
IGG thanks pete ^.^ are you still around here? hows tricks?

IGG is 3
has a different bf now, one she likes
felt her soulmate had finally accepted her love, and returned it
felt her heart would explode with happiness and she embraced the love she usually represses
has been through that too many times now....
has shut down those emotions [again]
feels she has finally [almost] given up her soulmate
wonders if she'll ever be free of this masochistic circle.
has loved and been too ruled by what she wants to see rather than what is really there

has given up something she felt was amazingly precious and gained a form of adulthood
has lost some of her innocence
yearns for beautiful experiences that happened a long time ago
catches a brief smell of his old aftershave on a bus, and longs for those innocent days when, [he admitted recently], he was in love with me too
but of course we must grow up and put those childish fantasies aside, he said.

IGG is a very different person
often doesn't recognise herself, and
feels like a two dimensional character, pieced together from facades created to please the world, her friends and her soulmate
yet she does not feel complete but as if she is waiting.

IGG is going to university this year
still wants to be a writer
doesn't write very much on here any more
doesn't feel creative unless there is some unhappiness inside her

IGG is happy?
has a fun life
is of a legal partying age soon
has experienced a few levels of consciousness
is inspired
is bored
feels places and people are the only things that ever vary, and perhaps people cannot change.

the 3 y/o skite.
ambermoon where have you gone? 090425
what's it to you?
who go