awful_truth
the awful truth Tradtionally, traditions: trivialities, tested through time: repeating rituals, resemblance of rhyme -
And, before the time these traditons were placed;
there were no traditions; the proverbial Space.

But, think instead for a second; in fact
on the distinctly distinct possibility that
your tradtions in fact are conspiracies; lies,
there's REAL human traditions.
They're on the OUTSIDE.

We all want to get out
for a day or a night
but we're all TRULY trapped;
inside the bars of this "Life."
this habit we're in,
this rut that we run
it's more like the edge of a cliff that we're on.
But there is a way out;
there is a way down.
LIVE for TOMORROW
don't worry on now.

That may sound confusing to those who may hear
but through rhythm rhyme i think i can make myself clear.
Live for the moment, sure, live for the rush,
and live for the night, and the fight, that's the good stuff.

But once you start living like you're the last one on Earth,
"Oh, I'll be dead fifty years. So what's the worth
of living for some unseen generation?
I don't see them here now.
On my talk show radio station.
So how do i know that they'll ever arrive?
I will be dead. I don't care. Not I."
As soon as you live with mentality thus,
you might as well just go get hit by a bus
or drink Cyanide or jump off a bridge;
with thoughts like that,
you dont deserve to live.

You MUST pay homage to ancestors past.
you MUST live your life for the ones in your path!
you MUST hold concious the kids of your kids
and if you dont want kids then find a person who IS one
and ask him, real kindly,
if he'd care to die at the same time as you, and he'll ask you why, and you'll say,
"Well, son, the world's gonna end
when I die, get out when you can,"
and he'll say,

"listen, you,
you self-centered fuck,
Earth aint going nowhere.
it aint built on luck
And i aint gonna live my life shitty like yours;
I'll wake, and greet the sun, and get down on all fours;
And i'll pray, sure I'll pray, but not to some Diety
some white-robbed, bearded man living in "Heaven" so freely
no

I pray to the planet
to the giver of life
I pray for the happiness and I pray for the strife
without the bad well there'd aint be no good
it'd just be nothing, forever
and nothing's no good.

We been being so stagnant for 10.000 years
but moving so forward with our cars and our beers
and we're growing in numbers that everyone fears
and nobody,
nobody,
NOBODY NOBODY HEARS

Nobody hears the screams of these children as they blast through pharmaceuticals and
their innoent brethren
Nobody hears them, down in the lunch line, fumbling for spare change and
living on spare time
Nobody hears the groans of the wicked, the sighs of the shunned and the retch of the sickened
Nobody hears the fall to the floor of the soul, as it cries,
"I cain't fight any more"

It's been beaten down by this static_splendour
These marketing ploys to appeal to the spender
the sinner, the sufferer,
"we all need a savior
we all need a way out of this ship struck with an iceberg"

is the cry that we're calling
oh, it sounds so wistful
to be clawing and bawling and
feeling so listful

feeling so stuck
but not rooted down
just sinking fast in the quicksand of
Town

and City and Country; these things are the Yetis
the Sasquatches and Bigfoots you're so quick to forget,
the stories that kept you awake every night were about fakeries,
the abscence of light

but there is a demon to be had in the daytime,
you encounter him and the grocery store at the same time.
he rears his head with the sounds of the bombs and the cries of the children who're watching their moms
break
beneath the load of a paycheck
or fathers tighten
the nooses on their necks
with promotions and more of just what you'd expect

The pyramid's growing
Well the kids ain't complying
The times ain't a changing
And I ain't dying

But, still, I ain't living.
We ain't living.
We ain't giving the shit that is needed to give
to live
to live SUSTAINABLY
Well, sure, we're alive,
but it ain't ABOUT you and me!
It's about, ALL of us.
HU-MAN-IT-Y.

Well i think if you're still here
you MIGHT agree
or else you're just waiting to try to disprove me
to say, "it's okay,
there ain't nothing wrong.
And besides, who fucking cares?
We'll be gone before long."

And to that I will say, to you,
ass hole,
"Are you really alive?
Because, that's my goal.
To be living a life I can compare to the others I see in this world, and not just my 'brothers-
in-arms' marching slowly to that pinnacle in the sky that is glowing
with the red light of bloodshed and tears that we've cried
and all the times we've mourned the ones who have died.

and at the same time we give them a funeral, we're jealous of them to be leaving so sooner
than us,
we're still stuck in the jaws of this life.
but there is a way to have "heaven" tonight
if you define heaven as a place you can go, with angels and clouds and floating halos, then that don't exist,
it's just fantasy
but there is a way you can live and BE HAPPY.

Define, instead, heaven as a
mindset, maybe, a paradigm of
....
CONTENTMENT! and
No questioning!
And no wondering about, you know, what is this thing?
this great big blue ball? what is the point?
I'll tell you and I'm telling you,
just smoke a joint, and sit down with your own close friends and when you're hungry you'll have to stand up again

work is included, as the price we must pay to
maintain contentment throughout the rest of our days
I'm not anti-work and I'm not anti-art
and I'm not anti-doctor and I'm not anti-car
and I'm not anti-drug and I'm not anti-state or -religion or -psychology or any of these things
but there is one great big ANTI
that i hold to me more self-evident than any other truth in my mind.
I'm anti-alone.
And I'm pro-a group.
And I hate most everyone
but i can explain that too.

I hate everyone now, cause they all hate me, and you hate all them, and you still hate me, and they hate each other, and they hate themselves.
and i hate myself
but
Hating. Sells.

It's all about living for the good of the GROUP
because, while they might hate you, they love the group, and
you can love the group, and still hate them
and we can all fucking hate each other
and we can still be best friends.

if you work for a group, instead of yourself,
then you're set for life,
even if you dont want to help
one day, cause you're sick
or got a broken bone
the group's got your back homie
this group is your home.

This is ALL that it takes!
No programs,
No fakes
No president! No wars! No Anarchy! NO "saved!"

No "for the sake of God" or the "Sake of yourself" but the "sake of the GROUP" and the group will give help
to the ones who support it
through thick and through thin

and if you dont got a group?
you're own your own my friend.
and we've been all on our own for ten thousand years.


How do you feel?
At ease? Without fear?
Do you feel, completely, and totally safe
inside this one-man boat, afloat on this lake?
Are you confident you can be both Captain and Mate
and first watch and night watch and the hook, AND the bait??

Well I'm not.
And you're not.
If you are it's a lie.
And you need a therapist a lot more than I do.
I dont need hope and I dont need guidance
I just want happiness, and safety, and knowledge
that, sure, i can sleep tonight, cause G's got me good.
And i better sleep quick because tomorrow I would be up all night,
tending the flame,
and watching backs of my boys as they
dig on their dreams.

And when sunlight breaks,
over mountains up high,
Well. Best get up boys.
If we don't live
We die." 		070102
...
the awful truth The bus ride at night:
Parallel to life
You got the man in the front who's always looking ahead

And never to the left or right

the lights are lowww
so you cant see whats behind the show
on the screen
always some stupid shit you've already seen
or DON'T WANT to see,

try and avert your eyes
but it's always slightly captivating until you're hpynotised

this bus is flying free
or so they say
but its stuck in a rut to the highway
you looking out the window
at some skyline you thought you'd known

at a second glance
it's nothing like your home.

and for a split second you're forgetting
where you're even coming from or what you think you getting.
especially where you're going to and what you gonna do
you're only thoughts: this bus, and what fate it might be coming to.

the characters in this bus:
they might be friendy
or deadly
and they might be the coolest cats around
or they might be some head case

and they might try to drive the bus but that aint gon work out
because when it comes down to it
thats what the drivers all about

but regardless of the character's presence
they're passenegers on this vessel,
no consequence

but what i advocate
is stop THERE or THERE
just wait until the place is great
you'll find true beauty
and what you call your "duty"
it dont matter truly
just cool it kids
cool it 		070102
...
dessiahs_song a slap in the face, a venomous snake lurking (where you can't see, in your veins)
deny sins/skins - float away, but never forget
the truth, the awful truth.

(and because we are all liars and smear the stars with bloody spears, the truth becomes a lie - and all is well, all is well) 		070107
...
dessiahs_song grapes everywhere.
and i, one. 		070212
...
dessiahs_song it is awful, and it is the truth.
dances to capture elusive souls. three on one, wot say?
but is slips like sand from me grasp - a love dissolves into annoyance as we all, and i (wish) burn brittle (to be stored as grey ashes).

oo, deliberation, enticing deliberation. someday i will digest it all. 		070301
...
dessiahs_song spewed it all out again because love is such a queer tree that it leaps when it should sprout, it leaps away from me.

feeling the need for last words. the ending of a story. 		080621
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
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