can_i_tell_you_something Aimee The guy I'm dating now, is someone I've dated before... we had a huge arguement just over a year ago, and I started dating our best friend, almost just to spite him, but the thing is Steve(my bf) and I lost our virginity to each other and I got pregnant... I never told him until about 3 months after I miscarried.... and he wouldn't talk to me... he started dating someone else, and I kept telling myself that I hated him.. no.. despised him only i really didn't. I really really loved him (still do) but I was too proud to admit it, and admit that I was wrong, and when I finally realized it, I could barely make it through a conversation without throwing up I was so nervous around him. But I finally told him in February, and he rejected me cause he was with someone else.... however after that confession things for he and she went down hill and last month when we slept together, I nearly cried I felt so whole and safe....But everytime since, i've always felt like I was going to cry because I can't express how much I love him with words.... and it scares me cause I am beginning to think that this could be it 010528 ... mmm no, u can't tell me something 010528 ... ditto I can tell you nothin' I know nothin' I know nothin' nobody knows me, and nobody seems to know themselves. 010529 ... Becky No, But I'll tell YOU something::: Life isn't what I expected it to be when I was small. I thought I'd be happy and carefree and have all sorts of friends who loved me. I'd have it all. And now that I'm older, I wish I had what I thought I would. I wish I could be happy and carefree.. and I wish my friends would call.. I wish they cared. 010701 ... jealous_beyond_belief can i tell you how good your boyfriend is, how good he tastes, and all the things he did to me can i tell you how much i love him no i cant 010701 ... silentbob after i hit this hard i always seem to forget everyone before you and tell myself its never been like this before but this time it just doesnt seem to. am i just telling myself this? or is it true. 010702 ... Svidrigailov I have something to confess. Ha ha, that's usually the start of a confession, but this isn't THE CONFESSION, the real one, the one I will have to do one day, the one that will come when the thrill of getting away with it is outweighed by the pain of the realisation of what I have become. No, this is the confession that I have something to confess, the opening up of the path... I did a bad thing, a really bad thing... something that might get me in the papers one day. Here's the game...can you guess? 010703 ... Casey I don't trust you enough to tell you 010703 ... silentbob svid: you raped a small girl 010703 ... Becky it's strange that people confess so many things on blather. Like, jealous_beyond_belief. Cheating? Everyone is always confessing something. 010713 ... silentbob do you promise not to tell? 010713 ... yummyC florescent light is very cool. also, I'm feeling bad for offending DannyH. also, I wish I had something better to do. *sigh* 010713 ... black-dyed gel product i like black-dyed gel product. He's so dreamy. Hmm... I wonder if he even knows I exist... 010713 ... me i think you should tell him how you feel 010714 ... lexal the shovel salesman I think you should smack him with a shovel. but that's just me 010714 ... yummyC i agree with you, lets start a fan club for black-dyed gel product. every SINGLE time i type your name i put underscores for the spaces, and I always have to go back and fix it. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* of death what a silly phrase. 010714 ... Becky also strange.. I commented on this before.. strange that I comment on something.. and it turns out it's directed towards me.. Even stranger.. I knew it when I commented.. Intuition is a very bad thing. 010918 ... Logan I miss you, I dont know why... i must be some sort of crazy, but if anything you remember "of Death" ... my time wasint alltoghether wasted. 011006 ... distorted tendencies I want to paint/draw/sketch you nude. 011007 ... crawling back under my rock ...without you lashing out at me? you build me up to believe i could have some place in your world and when i start to believe it you change your mind then you somehow manage to take my hurt and confusion over it as a reason to be angry at me? what the fuck? when we were talking about such things and i spoke of the one i loved and lost before you, i spoke with no illusions that i could ever have that time or that person back, but when you spoke of yours, it was clear where you'd rather be and lately even clearer so i guess then that you must have been thinking of him when you kissed me. 011007 ... her guess again and I suppose I should be just as devoted to you? wake up. compare the two situations. 011007 ... baby satan sure! you can tell me anything! and what's more, i promise to pass it on to whomever you don't want to hear it! share the love. 011008 ... Becky Please don't. I don't want to hear anymore. 011008 ... crawling under my rock (and taking it with me) fine, believe what you want to believe. at the very least i didn't figure i'd spend half the time being treated with the kind of contempt one reserves for someone who napalmed a field of kittens and orphans consider me gone 011008 ... Blu Now that you don't want me, I want you. And now that you love someone else, I love you. I'm sorry I'm selfish. and I miss you. 020103 ... ClairE Oh, wait. I can't. I can't live without words. 020104 ... Syrope even if its something you dont want to hear? no, i mean really. think about it. will you really hear it or will you just make some sort of appropriate gesture and then shove it to the back of your mind? or go into denial? because damnit this is hard for me, and i want to see a real measurable reaction. 020622 ... Freak Before I met you I was never insecure. Maybe a little to secure actually. You are the reason and the cause of the way I am now. My insecurities are fading as time passes but even with them gone I will still be frail. I live paranoid of the unrealistic, of the demons that haunt my every existance. You make me feel safe. If I could I would live forever curled up next to you with you holding me close. Not even clothing in the way of our existance in the one place I can't be haunted and plagued with my worries. You make me feel safe. 020622 ... pralines&cream At his moment, and for most moments during the past few days, I have wanted you so badly, even more, so much more, than I should want him. I resent what I perceive as your inattention toward me. It makes me begin to hate you, loathe you, and want you more. 020623 ... little fury bug promise not to say anything? for once i'm gonna be completely candid. no cryptic messages, no ambiguity, no sarcasm...just sad pitiful honesty. ok, there's this boy i like. i never thought i would like him. but i started getting to know him better and now i'm completely smitten. but see, the problem is he's head over heels in love with my friend. she doesn't like him though, but still, the two of them are really close friends. it hurts so much to think about it. it hurts even more knowing that they're perfect for each other. all she has to do is say yes, and then that will be the death of me. i apologize really...i know it sounds like your typical teen girl whining about a stupid crush. well, that's precisely what it is....here is me, a teen girl, and of course i am whining. that's who i am, what i do. i blah-blah about boys, i daydream of walking in the park holding hands, in my head i say my name with his last name, i cry about it at night, i write about it in my notebook (i refuse to call it a diary), i write notes that i know i'll never give to him...waaa waaa waaa...i wish i would just shut up and get over it. i'm starting to get annoying. 020623 ... squint ah i feel your pain. and thats about the best comment i can make because anything else would be along the lines of advice, and thats not appropriate right now. to me anyway. 020623 ... DannyH I'm scared. 020624 ... Sailor Jupiter If I showed you this catalogue of cruelty, brochure of battery, diagram of destruction, timetable of torture, agenda of abuse, rota of rape, would you shrink from this diseased soul or hold me? Hold me. Please. 020624 ... distorted tendencies I think I fucked up again. 020624 ... cheer-up-emo-kid I really wish I could. I'd tell you that I miss you. and I want you to call me and talk to me. and I dont like how the only times you call me are when you are waiting for someone to pick me up. and I'd tell you that I dont understand how you tell me that you are so in love with me, but then you forget to call me and you forget to come to school and you forget me. and when we talk about it you say youre sorry and that you love me. then it happens all over again. I want to tell you that Im scared to lose you and Im scared that you;ll find someone else. I want to tell you that I love you, instead of always having to say 'I love you too' for fear of you not saying it back. 020625 ... cheer-up-emo-kid damnit.. I meant the only time you call me is when youre waiting for someone to pick YOU up. 020625 ... Teenage Jesus I think that there are the makin's of some fine operas here...seriously! 020625 ... daxle This guy of yours needs to be dropped like a sack of rotting flesh. Carrying him with you will only cause you trouble. 020625 ... Mahayana ... just let go ok ??? [[please!]] dont even try to be my friend again when you lay in bed at night & miss me dont even try to be in my life again when you cant respect me after you toy with my emotions & become angry at me cuz i called you on it and didnt appreciate it ... dont even try to be my friend ever again i give up | im tired of settling| i give up | im tired of your games| i give up | in tired of the icee-ness| can i tell you something ... im gone for good completely this time youve lost me in every way possible 020625 ... cheer-up-emo-kid ugh, you have no idea. I could so be in a soap opera. the guy is my ex-best friend's ex-boyfriend. and she hates us for going out but she randomly sends me love letters and tells me that she misses me. I love him so much, but sometimes he can be a pretty crappy boyfriend. 020626 ... daxle no, I do have an idea, and you just proved my point being with someone like that is BAD for you, regardless of the fact that you love each other 020629 ... phil Some love is only for a moment: between when you fuck and when you get fucked over. And then turns into chaos. The person I love love's me too, we don't need eachother either. I can't do something that would make her cry. Unless it makes me cry too. Even when I left her for someone new, cleared her image from my mind I knew. It was nothing, that image of her would be filled again. And when I sat in the street in front of her house and thought to myself, let me live my life without her, and forget about my destiny. And when I know all I must do is sit here, and do nothing, and she will be gone. I know what love is for, and I know that I don't need it. So, I guess, when I gave the picture away to someone new, and left without saying a word about it, that she didn't know what I meant. 020629 ... cheer-up-emo-kid I know on my better days that I think I dont need him, but then I just get so sick inside. There is something weird about him that I need, like Im addicted. and the fact that Im not allowed to see him is making the addiction even stronger. Also, I know he is changing. He told me that he is gonna fix everything and this time I know that he is. He has to. He will. 020630 ... Mahayana i gave in [i didnt completely go] i just cant [I 'pose] it just isnt me even though you hurt me & still dont understand me, i still want to do things for you as a friend, to make your life better, to work extra hard so that you dont have to ... i guess... this is just who i am .. hell it hurts me to even try to be detached ... i just dont understand how you can do it day after day 020630 what's it to you? who go blather from