hollywood_material_baby birdmad so last night i get ditched at the bus stop by a driver who truly comes across as a load his mother should have swallowed. Tired from a long and frustrating day, i go of on a tear, cussing and ranting as i light my cigarette camouflaged amongst all the ghetto detritus, from somewhere behid the bus stop near the trash can, comes a drunken, gay schizophrenic, mixing a few things that sounded like words of wisdom with the insensate ravings of someone fucked up beyond ercognition "don't let those negative people like that driver get to you, don't let 'em rent space in your mind, they don't have what you have and that makes 'em mad, they're jealous, that's how i got here, i let it get to me, i'm hollywood material, baby, i got a multi-million dollar idea" un-self-consciously pulling a slicker brush meant for a dog from its package in the window-washer's bucket he was carrying and running it through his hair "i design things, i organize things, i can make a house grow, i had two swimming pools in my back-yard, a big party with a poker game at one patio table and dominoes on the other, you look like you should either be a rockstar or a bodyguard if you were in hollywood, i know gothic, you know, sometimes i'm gothic, sometimes i use white magic but sometimes i use black magic and when i need to i know the recipes, but i don't tell anybody stuff like that, i just make sure not to let some peopole rent space in my mind, you know, i finally learned it." dragging the slicker brush through his hair to nearly no effect, lending only some slight semblance of neatness to the slightly lopsided rooster-crest of dark brown hair on his head. catching a whiff of my cigarette smoke he starts again after gesticulating slightly and aimlessly at passers by and at no-one in particular "What's that? Hmmm...smells expensive, reminds me of parties i used to go to, good cigars and rum and brandy and people out by the swimming pool with movies on the big tv in the living room and everything" i give him one of my cigarettes, a Djarum Black and light him up, he talks quiety and indistinctly for a while to people aren't there, gesturing conversationally as if ihe was sitting at a restaurant table among friends rather than nest to a stranger at a bus stop bench "yeah they might come and take us to jail but if they did we'd stick together, i'd walk up to you or you walk up to me and say 'hey, what's up?' and it would be like that because we're Hollywood material, you know?" my friend the strip-club DJ comes to the stop and is perplexed by the strings of conversation flowing out of my odd little acquaintance, short, squat, dark skinned but with an accent that is hard to pinpoint as being chicano or being someone off "the rez" his voice was high and his mannerisms were incongruously effeminate for how gruff the little man looked, crossing, switching and un-crossing his legs as he smoked the cigarette "Don't worry, she'll come back, that's the thing about beautiful women, you can't let them be too sure, you have to act like you don't give a shit sometimes to keep them interested, i used to get pussy for free but now i'm losing my touch, can't get too possessive, got to give them some freedom, but don't worry, she'll be back, if she's the right one" so much for that perception, but now who is he talking to the nextbus came and i got on, along with my friend, the DJ, and drove me off into the night, but as i watched, he went on, talking to no one. he seemed happy enough, though. strangely, i envied him at least a little bit of that dysfunction that left him immune to the perceptions of passers-by 041006 ... Piso Mojado this story followed me around for a couple days after reading it- thank you. 041017 ... three words hollywood_material_baby famous overanalyzing 050317 ... HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that's_how_it_was_always_meant_to_be kidblink We were sitting on the couch, and Jaime moved, and I said "Looks like it's just you and me" and he said "That's how it was always meant to be." What does that mean for me, for us, for the future? Is that a promise, a hope, or a disillusionment? Can anyone tell me what I should do? 041018 ... love & hate the two of us as one together. for eternity. we both new it but did not have to strength 041019 ... helpsmilesgrow helpsmilesgrow helpsmilesgrow helps helpsmilesgrow hsg impregnating you with a smile, one day giving birth to lafter. 070724 ... pSyche hearing that.. "impregnating you with laughter" I could only picture something akin to the scene from Aliens... and a little laughing clown popping out of my chest, then proceeding to dance to the tune of "hello my baby" as i go "oh, God." 070724 ... e_o_i well, it worked... I'm laughing. 080314 ... hsg hUgs ^^^ 143, hsg 7 (u) (forever) h(u)gs 081003 ... soul_of_a_clown spread_happiness & the ultimate di soul_of_a_clown HelpSmilesGrow clown_of_us_all play_onwards wordplay play_on_words if the meaning_of_life is 2 spread_happiness & the ultimate disease is deathan the greatest cure is 2 help you smile. HelpSmilesGrow, you see, th is the sacreduty of clowns, seriously! planting seeds of lafter deep with & in you brain. don't mind me, just pretend im not here. soonah er later you'll get it. like a monkey wi this hand stuck in the jar, let go the apple or you'll never get out. the apple is serioustuph :) and u have to let it go or you'll forget how to smile. inevitably dee.p.ression will follow and then you'll really not want to let go of that apple. sooner or later you'll figure out your own demise but nothe wayou think. not being able to let_it_go, you'll stick your head in that jar right aphter that apple! who's the clowNow?! you can laugh & once you let it go you get it. turn that seriousness upsidedown, roll that apple right out the jar. let the gravity of the situation do the work. 070724 ... hsg "I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most crucial moments." -Jim Morrison 080213 ... marx_brothers marx_brothers HarpoZeppoGroucho could teach a soul a lot. sole_love, a clown; clown_of_us_all soul_of_a_clown 081207 ... jane (thinking about Groucho for halloween) 101009 ... h|s|g As long as I can be Harpo 101010 ... somebody strange_actual_conversation stork daddy homeless guy: i have good news and bad news..twice.. me: huh? homeless guy: the bad news is that i'm homeless. the good news is that i saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. the other bad news is that i don't have a car. 050627 ... Lemon_Soda *blink* *blinkblink* 050627 ... Doar homeless guy that still has a sense of humour. . 050627 ... akuma aoi see also: good_morning_senor hollywood_material_baby now all i need is for one of the more purely deranged and bacterially afragrant fellows to tell me that he's a tree wizard or some such shit and i'll have heard fucking near everything 050627 ... unhinged he looked at her and said 'put those fuckme eyes away if you don't mean it.' and then turned to me and said something like 'how come you never look at me like that nicole?' me: 'i can't have fuckme eyes for you.' him: 'i don't know whether i should be insulted or complimented.' me: 'you should be complimented considering i hate 90% of the people i've ever had sex with.' strange because i never thought i would tell him how i felt about him. but he's back to his same asshole tricks. *sigh* how tarnished we are, me and him. oxidized and black to the eye, but so much beauty underneath. 050627 ... oren 1st guy: "Do you know George McSwain?" 2nd guy: "Who?" 1st guy: "What's his name?" 2nd guy: "George McSwain." 1st guy: "Never heard of him." [Actual vaudville routine.] 051209 ... oren vaudeville, dammit. 051209 ... say_a_mop woman at bus stop: would 20% be two dollars? my friend karen: pardon me? woman: would 20% be two dollars? karen: well, 20% of what? woman: Say... a mop. karen: well how much does the mop cost? woman: Ten dollars. karen: then yes, 20% would be 2 dollars woman: well WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? 051210 ... . grasshopper grasshopper my dad calls me this. i met him when i was 19. 000502 ... Bownan Every where I went to look at blather there was a little grasshopper already there... can she see my mind? 000622 ... Whitechocolatewalrus Grasshoppers hop through grass. I see them all the time and I wish I were as free as they are. 031108 ... hey now! a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you" "YOU HAVE A DRINK NAMED STEVE?!" 031108 ... sab you have a lot to learn 061212 ... walrie i still agree with me 061212 ... HopSomeGrass some know kung_fu 061212 ... () ( i was kwai chang caine this halloween ) 061212 ... phil Renewal swirls in the morning. Fangs push out of their supplanted homes, and wings sprout from high above the world. A cloud of bones, ticking on the walls that surround me. Thieves under the spell of both sky and darkness, sliding across the valley, silently checking for me. Between the two of them, time becomes a narrow slit, just wide enough to leap through in an instant. 101009 ... somebody t o d a y y e s t e r d a y renormalization_counting_sheep_and_insomnia kx21 __everything_mounts_to_nothing__ brand_new_blather_blue_book give_me_something_to_look_forward_to nothing_is_everything exitstance_impure y2k future gfd fg hfff nothing_eveporatesfsnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk blown_cherry free_fall sleeping_in_the_waves she_loved_me 101010 marx_brothers i_can_not_fucking_handle_this blood_and_poison_and_rust_and_ash grasshopper oren's_new_word_observation andru235's_final_blathe here refresh_now 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from 101010 ... . grasshopper grasshopper my dad calls me this. i met him when i was 19. 000502 ... Bownan Every where I went to look at blather there was a little grasshopper already there... can she see my mind? 000622 ... Whitechocolatewalrus Grasshoppers hop through grass. I see them all the time and I wish I were as free as they are. 031108 ... hey now! a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you" "YOU HAVE A DRINK NAMED STEVE?!" 031108 ... sab you have a lot to learn 061212 ... walrie i still agree with me 061212 ... HopSomeGrass some know kung_fu 061212 ... () ( i was kwai chang caine this halloween ) 061212 ... phil Renewal swirls in the morning. Fangs push out of their supplanted homes, and wings sprout from high above the world. A cloud of bones, ticking on the walls that surround me. Thieves under the spell of both sky and darkness, sliding across the valley, silently checking for me. Between the two of them, time becomes a narrow slit, just wide enough to leap through in an instant. 101009 ... somebody t o d a y y e s t e r d a y renormalization_counting_sheep_and_insomnia kx21 __everything_mounts_to_nothing__ brand_new_blather_blue_book give_me_something_to_look_forward_to nothing_is_everything exitstance_impure y2k future gfd fg hfff nothing_eveporatesfsnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk blown_cherry free_fall sleeping_in_the_waves she_loved_me 101010 marx_brothers i_can_not_fucking_handle_this blood_and_poison_and_rust_and_ash grasshopper oren's_new_word_observation andru235's_final_blathe here refresh_now 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 ... tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime tomorrow_time tomorimetomorime 101010 what's it to you? who go blather from