como_un_gitano fyn gula in turkish, to act like a gypsy means to talk non-stop, to collect second hand things and to ask for unreasonabe prices. 010506 ... lu_cid yesterday I walked for hours and hours collecting every stone that tripped me on my way and when I finally fell over one that was too big to fit in my pocket I threw it over my back, but hey I've got no time to silly chitta chatta. Lets go swimming instead. 010506 ... fyn gula diving deep into the shallow water, he hit his head on a fish. "excuse me, he said. "no problem." the croaker said,"there's lots of room." 010506 ... lu_cid I must have been gone by then besides I like lobsters better, they never try to be me, they just scittle away leav*ing red streaks behind to remind me I could have been pinched. fish talk too much babble babble bubble bubble. blurb. I like water. i like silence. 010506 ... fyn gula in silence is where i hear the hidden words no one says, the words left unsaid. in silence i write the sentences i want the world to read, to know how alive the moment is, that the world is on fire and the smoke will never sting the eyes. 010506 ... lu_cid in silence, true silence lies the storm the deafening babble of a thousand lost thoughts, lost messages things that shouldn't be known but trap the listening swimmer. drown him in a cloud of fish and let the crimson ghost of what is important creep and make us wait until we are brave enough to swim again. how many times can we drown before we stop breathing by choice? 10? fifteen? never 1? which is better. I don't care. I don't have time. I'm being chased at the moment. I might not care to drown but if this shark bites my ass i'll scream and then, well i'll have to start over. 010506 ... fyn gula starting over, he erased the lines, the numbers, the stars the children made on the blackboard, the drawings to fill in the time and space before they came adults and ruled the little worlds they always thought were so complicated, but were so small they could fit in a pocket with marbles they found on the ground and papers of exquisite drawings that were thrown away until the wind blew them into their path, whispering, "this, now is for you." 010506 ... lu_cid everything starts out larger and then shrinks. heads, candles, flowers, because nothing is larger than potential. burst my bubble. is it better to burst or be popped and which came first the chicken or the egg. The egg said the fox, because I would've eaten the hen. everything is born of a lie. We are all mad here. I'm mad you're mad. the stars don't twinkle they elkniwt. and algebra is just an excuse to create complication for adults because they forgot what tea parties are. 010506 ... fyn gula and in the mail two weeks ago i received an invitation to a party. it was on paper ripped from fashion magazines and letters drawn in careful consideration that caligraphy is dead. it said that no one but i was invited and if i were to come i would be alone. yet when i arrived, the tables were full and we blew noisemakers that broke, but thank god there were more. 010506 ... lu_cid the best advice ever recieved was, "never to learn caligraphy." but i've also been told that if you drink honey and milk and stand on your head for three minutes every day, everything that has been a problem will become the solution. but you know, I like partys because i am always the only one. When I was shorter than I am now but taller than all the boys I wrote all the invitations to a birthday party, and everyone who came had the same voice and were all stuffed, but it was my dad's voice and that made them perfect because they couldn't eat all the cake. my head is a child that has never broken, an arm only been shot through the heart twice. is that suicide? 010506 ... fyn gula no. it isn't. it is walking through the morning grass at 55o am soaking your jeans with dew, it is watching the robin turn her light blue egss thinking she is alone when the five of us are at the window with binoculars. it is the dance we do when semisonic comes on. 010506 ... lu_cid ...or, it is a blessing the stovetop, 9 serving espresso coffeemaker with its beautiful shining silver surface and black handles is new. 010506 ... fyn gula and the preacher said,"amen." and the choir sang, "long live what is real," because black water is a river our boat will sink in. 010506 ... lu_cid a casualty to laughter. the creativity of shells and smiles. I once read that if you ask enough times the answer will just arrive out of your own voice mocking your ignorance. Is this truth or is this something I wrote? Do we always ask questions we alreday know the answers to, hoping we are wrong? Is life experience false? I don't believe in caring, but I do anyways in great leaping strides. I dance care back to black water patterns, hoping to find my face reflected there. The one who knows who I am. and winks when she sees me. 010506 ... unhinged alone i can always think of the perfect things to say to you. the things i'm thinking. the things that i know will hurt are always so much easier to conceive in solitude. but when you look at me, ask me what i'm thinking i can never let the words out. the concrete slab slid over my vocal chords entombing them the only word they can create an obvious lie "nothing" but i'm not going to write you a letter, i'm not going to create a speech. i am going to tell you to your face that i can't ever be with you and i know that. that if you are looking for something stable you should not look at me. two things have left me eternally scarred and i cannot forget them. the events of june 28th and september 2nd will always be at the front of my consiousness. someone sent me something today that said love is in the weakness. there is none of that in you. it makes me feel inferior in comparison. 010506 ... Dafremen The Gypsy Kings are awesome. Hey unhinged, do you ever find yourself rehearsing what you would say in different situations? Do you find yourself imagining what the possible things that people might say or do in different situations are and then coming up with the appropriate response to their words or actions just in case they should actually happen? 010507 ... unhinged what do you think my blathes are? =) i have been wanting to write my thoughts down in the situation, but i don't want it rehearsed. i just hope that i don't forget everything. i hope that some of it can soothe his heart after i rip it out. 010507 ... cabezas hablando y puedes encontrarte viviendo en una casita muy pequen~a, y puedes encontrarte viviendo en otra parte del mundo, y puedes encontrarte manejando un auto grande y puedes encontrarte con una casa linda, y una esposa bella y puedes preguntarte ?soy cierto o soy equivocado? y puedes decirte !esa no es mi esposa bella, eso no es mi casa linda! y puedes decirte, "!Ay Dios!, ?Que Hice yo?" y pasan los dias (hay agua abajo) (agua moviendo abajo) (deja la agua cargarme) una vez en la vida asi es lo mismo asi es lo mismo (i'll taske the beating for the rough translation later, but i wanna see who gets this right) 010507 ... amy this is black_sarah... to be poor, travelling, value cleanliness and purity, and have a heritage of an unwritten but preserved language, song and dance. marginalized on purpose, and subject to every kind of prejudice... but they're invisible and want to stay that way, according to some. romanticized... i was a flamenco dancer, fortune teller, and Charlie Chaplin for halloween when i was kid... that's all gypsy. ok. that's all i know about gypsies. watch the movie Latcho Drom. Lord Tennyson. Lizst... 010507 ... nocturnal cabezas hablando, wanna see who gets what right? I know what song that is if that's it. 010507 ... Dafremen And you may find yourself living in a very small house And you may find yourself living in another part of the world And you may find yourself driving a big car And you may find yourself with a beautiful house and a beautiful wife and you may ask yourself am I right or wrong? And you may tell yourself This is not my beautiful wife, this is not my beautiful house! And you may tell yourself My God! What have I done? And the days go by There is water under water flowing under let the water carry me just once in life Same as it ever was Same as it ever was (I'm guessing Talking Heads although the Spanish translation was rough in parts and I didn't write the lyrics, I translated the Spanish) (Cabezas Habladoras) 010507 ... nocturnal you beat me you piece of crap. I so knew it too. damn you! 010507 ... no talking just head yeah, like i said, the translation was a little rough 010507 ... Dafremen (GRIN) 010507 ... lu_cid i was charlie chaplin once too. 010507 ... no talking just head once_in_a_lifetime 010508 ... unhinged sometimes i feel like charlie chaplin my life silent and stilted in it's slapstick movements in shades of grey complete only with the soundtrack that i can't find my facial expressions hidden behind the mask of indifference and cold hard cash 010509 ... Dafremen Don't forget the baggy pants of your underemphasized sexuality! 010509 ... unhinged man...thanks how the hell could i forget that?! 010509 what's it to you? who go blather from