Quadratic Equestrian Dear Artie,

Just wanted to know if you are throwing another wild party tonight. I didn't get an invite last weekend and so I had to sneak past the doorman because he kept turning me away. Just wanted to know if you forgot to invite me or if maybe you ran out of stamps. I hear they are up a cent or two in price. Know its tough to afford stamps. Just wanted to know if you would please get a few kegs instead of all that futzy "champing" or whatever that weird white wine was. Oh, and the suits... please have your guests ditch the suits. Way to futzy. It was a warm night and I was perfectly comfortable in my tattered jeans and white tank-top (it wasn't windy, after all). Seems so silly to over dress like that if everyone is just going to sit around getting drunk. Man, *I* sure got tanked. Oh, hey, you know that lady friend of yours who was totally obsessed with herself? Wearing the puffy white dress? She was hot, invite her again, but try to avoid inviting that guy in the who was hanging all over her all night long. He really pissed me off, that fucker. Hittin' on my bitch like that. Man, she was dancing with everyone (including CHILDREN, dude) but that guy just kept cuttin' in whenever I went to dance her up. Oh, and call me in advance if you find any of that "stuff". I'll buy some off ya. Don't be futzy about the price, though, dude.

Correction : [...but try and avoid inviting that guy in the TUX who was...] 061020
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