alone_in_the_night
sheryl with no words 011011
...
sheryl when words fail
...life dies
011011
...
Sonya the sullen feline I stumble on the path of sleep to the realm of dreams.

Why can't I sleep? Well going to make a second attempt alone in the night...
011011
...
god i got a cat named tonya. 011011
...
Sonya the sullen feline Is she as fucked in the head as me? 011011
...
mmm almost alone, she's there.. and nobody else.. its as close to heaven as i'll ever get. 011011
...
Aimee I'm going to be alone tonight... but i think i can handle it.. 011011
...
mister mourning house-sitting for the boss

looking out over the city
from this obscenely large house in the hills on the outskirts, glancing over the images of his family that adorn his walls

i'm more than a little jealous

wishing there was someone here to share this view with me
011011
...
stars I'm never alone when I know you're around.. even when I'm not with you, I'm not alone. You're with me always. 011012
...
yummyC i embrace my solitude. 011012
...
angie will be the way i will always remain 020120
...
pralines&cream ... there's only the comfort of my cold cold sheets ...
and that doesn't feel like you at all.
020120
...
angie Here I am again.
Truly and completely alone in the night.
The tears won't stop.
Tears that could have been avoided. Tears that no one but myself can dry.
What would I do if I didn't have blather?
I would be more alone in the night than I already am.
020525
...
blown cherry I know how you feel angie.
At least we're all alone together out here in the blue.


I roll over and face the wall,
and the memory of you lying there
sleeping beside me
hits me
smack in the face.

It was just once,
but the lasting imprint is left.

I miss holding you.
020526
...
Tildan alone_in_the_dark

push the wardrobe over the window - remember
020528
...
blown cherry it's not so warm 020528
...
the smallest cherry yet so FUCKING ALONE!!!
*throws a rock at the ground and kicks at the gravel very dramatically and with much frustration*
020529
...
birdmad same as it ever was 020530
...
blown cherry straight from the freezer I pushed my bedroom door open tonight,
and saw the crumpled heap of blankets on the bed. Almost in the shape of a person.
For a split second my brain flashed back to when it was you.

Torn between two pains.
The pain of not holding you close to me as I fall asleep.
The pain of holding you close one night,
but then the next night finding my bed even colder and lonlier than before.
020610
...
Mahayana i never used to watch TV at all
but now i use it to sooth myself
to fall towards sleep

[being alone wouldnt be so bad if i knew about this job already, if i knew where i was living, at least than i could work towards a goal, ... its the waiting thats getting to me]

alone at night, with the tv softly on ... i lay and talk to you, i say your name & whisper my i love yous and goodnights & somehow i know every single one gets to you, yet i fully realize im alone
020610
...
Syrope used to i would get in bed, snuggle up to my pillows, close my eyes, and imagine my bed spinning, slowly, like the footboard was anchored and the bed swung gently around it...put me to sleep every time. i can still conjure the swirling, but it doesn't put me to sleep. then i went through a period where a TV or radio playing softly would keep me company in the night.
those were the days...
for a while, there was seldom a night i didn't cry myself into a fitful sleep. but tonight, i just sit. there are still sticky tracks down my cheeks where i cried what must have been the last of my tears. no more will come, no matter what i dig up out of the past three years. it's so cold. my tongue is scalded from the hot chocolate. yea, hot chocolate on june 10. something inside me has died. it doesnt really matter anymore..
020610
...
angie alone
i am forever
alone
when will i stop?
being alone
i never have a 'you'
to take away my pain
help me through the puddle
made by the rain
its raining now
when will it stop
the life pours down
funny how life can kill life
love can kill love
when it has never existed
020610
...
Mahayana [ i better just get used to it ] 020612
...
blown cherry The sheets are clean.
Don't even have the scent of your hair gel on my pillow to snuggle up with anymore.
I miss you so much.
But it's been a few days since we had any contact,
so I don't know where your thoughts are.
They may even be with that other person who recently declared their love for you on here, but then again, maybe you haven't read that yet.

If I sit here alone in the night much longer my paranoia will drive me insane.

I'll just shut my eyes and remember how it felt to hold you so close and so tight. It was only 4 nights ago afterall.
020613
...
cold and lonely cherry again,
and I don't even know why.
If you wanted some company why didn't you just say?
But then why didn't I trust my instinct when I discovered you wandering the streets aimlessly.

You gave up what could have been such a wonderful night, and for what??
for WHAT??
Why, I keep wanting to know why, foolish as it may be.



We could have been so warm.
020710
...
she Tonight, alone and disassociated, I wonder what you're doing, but I have no basis to go upon.
I wonder if maybe you're lying with another. Is it someone I know?
I wonder if maybe you're thinking of me. When I think of you, do your ears ring?
I wonder if maybe I am not what you want, just something you'll settle for during your down times.

The things you say spin around my lonely head, colliding and sparking and killing each other. "You die alot, huh?" "You're pretty hot." "Let's go make out in the bathroom." "I wish you weren't so shy."

I wonder if any of my 'connections' know anything about you, that I should know. Because, really, I don't know you at all. Of what I've seen, I like... there's much I could learn from you.

But then I look at the clock, realize I'm alone_in_the_night, and I'm quite sure
you_are_not..

.
020710
...
- - - - - and it aches like you'll never really have to know 020710
...
~~~ And I just want to end it all right now. 020710
...
sickandtwistedfuck my life story....almost 020711
...
jane see also:
i_slept_with_somebody_else
020711
...
Mahayana this breath like everythings escaping h___o___l___l___o__w inside now
and ready to be filled again
020712
...
squint wordless
flat like glass
drop and crash
weight dispersed heavily
on few supports,
simplistic poetry
and excessive feeling,
less is more
concise is in,
neat and contemporary
short and sweet
and unlike me.
020714
...
Aimee I cry.
You roll over,
still asleep
yet almost awake.
You ask what's wrong,
I say go back to sleep baby.
You fall asleep and I continue.
I cry.
Not enough though
I want to let it all out.
I can't.
Why do I want to hold on to this?
I don't need it.
but I stop.
reason kicked in.
I don't have any reason to cry.
I roll on my side.
I fall back asleep.
020805
...
squint naked CDs trembling
clutched in a hand almost too small.
If tears weren't so empty
maybe I would cry
because my feet hurt
from running on this road
with no shoes
and my heart hurts
while she recites that line
with every beat
that parents really are
just two people that have a baby
and to layer this
with my age.
it is darker
darker darker
and the water changes shades
to match the sky
as I walk slowly back home
afraid of what I'll find
but I don't know where else to go.
020805
...
Nathan88 you will never be again 021218
...
lo the world can be beautiful and inspiring.4am weekday or sunday there is no evidence people even live in this town not a car or a sound other than the leaves being shaken in the wind. the building take on a completly new existance and somehow i can image how the town must have looked in it's early days. alone in the night i feel liberated. not one person around who will irritate in anyway or intrude on you long thoughts or rudely intterupt you daydreams. alone in the night i am frightened that i may not really be alone and the other is not a friend but my entire concept of evil pakaged into a person who is hiding and watching and waiting. 030522
...
nomatter such a beautiful way to break my heart 031004
...
y for once, and maybe the only time i can remember, i am glad to be alone. my heart is so tired. if only i could reach in there and put an ace bandage around it, so i would remember not to use it. 031005
...
ferret i want to run 031005
...
no reason with strange acceptance and comfort 041203
what's it to you?
who go
blather
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