it_ends_like_this ClairE Waiting_for_all_your_replies. A phone off the hook. An end without punctuation. 031111 ... pvcpillow you making a decison and informing me so i drown after the floats are pulled back still waters run deeper than you can ever imagine i will find the shore 031112 ... sab and it did and i knelt down on the kitchen floor and shattered his future shard by shard the clouds around his head crashed down littering his path with promises not filled with dreams punctured with plans already tattered away to nothing and i knelt on the kitchen floor and was washed away by the blood of both our hearts finally and fully breaking 031113 ... Whitechocolatewalrus Alone in the last moments of life. You think it's over, it's done. Relief escapes your mouth in overwhelming gasps. No more worries, no more pain, no more anything. It goes from bright to gray to dark, a quick transformation. It ends in a swirl of black nothingness. 031113 ... Zoe i always imagined this grand ending, eveyone crying and hugging. that's not the way it happened. i walked away and some people said bye, i didn't even say bye to everyone. there were no tears or long speeches about how much they're going to miss me in their lives. then again, i didn't tell them how much i'd miss them either, but i do, oh i do. 031113 ... ts eliot is almost toilets backwards whimper? 031114 ... Syrope you finally call, but to inform me that we have very different views of intimacy...that you can't just start a relationship with me based on sex that's not what i wanted from you and now i dont want anything 031114 ... Death of a Rose to grant me new beginnings. 031208 ... smurfus rex "...and they lived happily ever after. The End." 031209 ... magicforest loves what claire wrote 031209 ... splat . 031209 ... love & hate with you telling me to fuck off, for now... 040513 ... pete ... in silence, as the day's heat strikes the air. it ends like this, my head on the floor trying to think. it ends like this, good bye i think, see you soon i hope, hello i believe. it ends like this and always in this way. it ends but is then reborn again, the phoenix rising. what did she say about the phoenix? i don't know.. some how it related to thirty two (thirty four?) flavours though 040513 ... unhinged slowly, we've all flitted away until all that's left are ghosts memories pictures we couldn't have discerned any meaning from it until we were separate with the same tired struggles wishing we could be breathing the same air again doing the same drugs again holding the same bodies again staring into tired eyes pressed against small skeletons to feel slow and ragged heartbeats and tiny sighing breaths lips brushed against fragile necks squeezing the life out of your shattered shoulderblades i couldn't have discerned any meaning out of it until it was all over separate it ends like this wilted scorned empty in the moment before we die all we are faced with words unspoken actions undone apologies unmade whether you heard what i meant to say is your fault it ends like this hastily shattered torn wishing for one last molecule of_you 040513 ... ^.^ ~ finis ~ 040513 ... oldephebe "i wish I could reach into the deepest pockets of eternity and make you...live live" excerpt from "Live" Copyright 2004 Stan Whyte for the Autumn Fire CD 2004 040515 ... ! with me failing cuz you say whats wrong with me is that i "try" too hard [even though i dissappoint myself greatly, i suppose id rather fail trying hard to love someone than not trying enough] 040515 ... notme goodbye goodnight 040515 ... . . 040521 ... phil void 040521 ... ! me, ...wondering how you could "care very deeply about" some girl you just met days before, and even compare it to your "caring very deeply" for me as well. Guess over two years with someone is as easily comparable to two nights [one flirting and one oh so much more]. Is this as deep as your love goes ... 2 years me two nights her? How can you care for her -- in that way --, when you just fucking met her? In various ways it cheapens what I thought we had between us. Somehow I cant help but to think you cared even deeper for her -- since you refused to respect me even after you were disloyal to me, you not only talked to her after you promised me on your own that you wouldn't but you hugged her, knowing full blown how it killed me inside when I had to literally drag it out of you -- what you had done. "im sure youre sick of me saying this and i know it doesnt change anything, but im really very sorry for everything" She knew full well what she was getting into, she knew that you were with someone else, yet you are apologizing to her, as if it was her trust, her commitment, and her heart that you squeezed the life out of. 040521 ... ~ . 040521 ... oE god, i just read what sab wrote up there! 040604 ... ivyducktwilightseto THEY EAT THE CHEESE AND THEN THEY GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 040605 ... ivyducktwilightseto Sorry for that little blathe up there, inside joke with my drumline buddies (aka, no one here laughs.) Chirp Chirp. Anyway, how does it end? Well... The fire rises out of the ground The waves crash down upon me The earth shakes The wind rips me up I am destroyed My life becomes a shadow As it all ends And my world is torn apart Argh, sorry I cant write anything half-decent right now. Maybe later. 040605 ... oldephebe it's your soul singing out it's sorrow, anything true and and honest, can't be carelessly cast aside from anyone simply because it is a true and honest thing...soul water streams, and then the cat raises its' paw to play...imaginary string and soulwater that singes, it can't be undone, taken back, a holy and tortured true thing Joan of Arc braved the Dark and caught the glow heard her choir peasant girl seared in a field from which stream does her fire flow Hell can paint a canvas to stun the muses Hell can cast a light brighter than man rending atoms asunder blinding and freezing all things in shadows burnt into the ground Joan of Arc Heard her choir and Sister Bernadette pressed her full mouth into the face of her God and cooed and screamed her raptures of holy ecstacy and hemingway w/o nothing no more at last to sing sad, bereft because the muse, the hoar that whispered into the sepulcre..that inflamed his ears the coils which filled his being and enabled him to out run his own sense of spiritual emptiness hath stopped until sad, desolate ernest,with no fire belching in his considerable manbelly blew himself up she didn't stop for red lights, she didn't care about the army of eyes or her pants that were too tight Ever. oh and there were far too few occasions of laughter in her life knee prints in the dust cry and mourne the loss of it if you must you can't take back what is borne upon upon the black wings of a true and honest thing, i see, i mean she he we they..saw that the light had gone out in their eyes so much pain it was like living under water, nada, nana, nihil, nicht, mama nothing! so hwo do we do it Ya'll? how do we surmount the walls when we encounter Nothingness? you can't take it back and you don't have to apologize for It. 040605 ... oldephebe maybe, just living ones life in bite sized pieces, and maybe turning down the noise of ones ego..ones insecurities..ones pride..it's cold and wet and dry inside...sure..but maybe if we can find Something beautiful to look at beyond our own selves, our own lives, and then maybe even let that replace the death moth's dirge that impels us ever toward the promise of that obliterating flame,..you know.. maybe that can become the music, the choir that wraps around our soul, spirit singing into soul... ... 040605 ... dosquatch It ends like this amidst the flames the spark of love changed to burning rage All of the things I wanted to say have gone away And all that is left after all is vitrol words like venom spat in my face words like daggers their steps retrace In all the world ther is no purer hell than to hate the one you love so it's over, day is done, as we lay down the setting sun, it ends like this not in a kiss but with a fist 040605 ... unhinged hey_pheb i sent you an email to that address you don't check often. i feel you here, on this page. 040605 ... kx21 * Cut_run_run * Why_not? 040605 ... stukadukadush skoooooommphiiiiiiiiiiiiiibbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! 081118 what's it to you? who go blather from