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someone_give_me_a_grant_to_invent
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DannyH
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The smell camera.
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010806
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... |
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florescent light
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peanut butter and fluff
swirled together all-in-one jar
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010806
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... |
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paste!
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the hypodermic taco
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010806
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kingsuperspecial
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a pneumatic lip de-linter
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010806
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paste!
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the transatlantic wife-beater bookmark
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010806
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kingsuperspecial
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a phalic sensurround gringo reflection pickle ionizer
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010806
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paste!
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a ham-powered fighter plane
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010807
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F. Brice
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The day-after unfuck machine.
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010807
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baby satan
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a frog-infested night gown adapter.
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010808
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paste!
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a kevlar deer paddle
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010808
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baby satan
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the toilet brush bass guitar.
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010808
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Mushroomman
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an imediate transport device, so i won't have to get a car to drive all the way to lancaster... though i will
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010811
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paste!
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the seahorse lettuce backpack
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010811
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kingsuperspecial
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miniature mule carpet rodeo
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010814
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User24
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sonic screwdriver
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010814
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User24
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world peace in a easy to use plastic dispenser.
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010814
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the cheer-up kid
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guns equipped with hindsights
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011019
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sabbie
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featherd wings that you can jsut strap on and fly away from all this shit.
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011020
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lost
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the drug that never loses affect. it never goes away. high forever woo hoo.
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011020
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Toxic_Kisses
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Armpit-Scented Deodorant
Compact Limos
Asprin Flavoured Non-asprin painkillers
Battery powered straw
Dehydrated Water
Bifocal binoculars
Glow-in-the-dark Soap
A Black Highlighter
Cast iron toilet paper (durable)
Fireproof Matches
Cord-less Extension Cords
Gasoline Powered Calculator
Fizzy milk
To name a few...
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011021
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Norm
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a new type of pen that is filled with ink and at the tip it has a very small opening covered by a ball and as you move the ball over the paper the ink is spread evenly.
I call it the bald point pen because it has no hair.
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011022
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carne de metal
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meat ice-cream.
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020220
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blue star
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a microwave freezer
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021030
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kss
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a horizontal pizza slicer
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021031
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p2
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kss
if you do
i call "top half"
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021031
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p2
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reality ctrl-z
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021031
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kss
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a sleep compressor
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021111
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reitoei
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the genie in the bottle
and a legal, simple ctrl+c for reality
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021111
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Toxic_Kisses
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and a Find for reality az well! That way all I need do is go to my comp bring up Find type in Shoes and some how or other it will locate where I misplaced my lovely scuffed up well worn shoes for me. Granted Reality Find would work on more than just shoes, the above was simply an example of one of the many many things that could be found by Reality Find.
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021111
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minnesota_chris
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A digital camera that burns the pictures onto CD Roms...
A combination cell phone, music player, email/IM checker (I think they're making it now though)
A new, more accurate version of the board game Life (I have some cool ground rules)
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021112
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p2
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fyi,
sony cd mavica
on 8 cm cd-r/rw's
(156 MB)
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021112
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blue star
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a band-aid for the ozone layer
a guard dog for the rainforests
a pollution-sucking sea monster that spits the toxic shit back in the dumpers' faces
a nightmare to insert into people's minds to make them not do stupid shit (ex: dubya 's current plan)
something that turns concrete into soil without much effort
a machine that shows rich-assed republicans what the rest of the world feels like
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021112
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minnesota_chris
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SHIT! I also invented Tri-ominoes first. ME!
Ok, so nobody plays Triominoes. But still.
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021112
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likes company
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something that makes waking up alone feel good.
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021112
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p2
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dream extractors
we could save them to disk
and trade with each other
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021112
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rm.rubbynabbit
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a chorple plywooder
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021113
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kss
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a strapless evening Sawzall
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021113
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mr.bunnyrabbit
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a pudding powder hair shirt
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021113
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Rhin
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mood panties! you know, they sort of have the chameleon effect going on. they would perfectly predict (by changing to a specific color...let's say green!) the moment that you are ready to get down and dirty, without ever having to say a word. what a perfect way to show the guy in your life you love him. if he never understood anything you ever had to say, he would understand those panty's! of course then he would spend a great deal of his free time always giving you charlies, just so he would never miss a potential sex-fest! that sort of leads me to my next invention...
security panties! when you are being violated sexually, or just violated beyond your present will by a horny boyfriend, the panty transmits electric shocks to the would-be violator, rendering him down for the count.
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021113
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phil
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I grant you 120$, all I need is a demo
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021113
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jane
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oh, i'll give you a demo, alright
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021114
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p2
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whoops
you should have specified
which one
*zap*
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021115
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minnesota_chris
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I think, when the other person's panties are visible, I can pretty much guess what her mood is. . .
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021115
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Rhin
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what if she's wearing jeans, thus covering the panties?
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021115
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p2
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perhaps if the panties
are connected wirelessly
to a beeper-type device
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021115
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minnesota_chris
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or could dial a pager!
Oops, that's my pager. . . oh, I'll be right back.
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021115
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angie
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god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference
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021115
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not a friend of bill
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and the serenity to get this bottle open before I fucking kill someone.
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021120
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kss
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a three speed hammer
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021120
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SuicidalAngel
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time machine
flavored weed
all herbal completly safe weight loss pill
hover craft
thats all I got for now
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021120
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ynnubtibbar.rm
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simulamatic crembrula meptain
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021222
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sixfingers
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stimutacs
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030105
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dxl
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automatic mood dial, able to be set permanently on "fine"
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030105
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Rhin
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a relief tube (similar to those used in space flight) for guys to use on those mornings (or any other time) they stumble into the bathroom with a hard-on. no more twisting their delicate appendage into odd positions, or sitting down on the toilet seat awkwardly, so as not to urinate in their face. what guy wouldn't love something like this. ...and for just a couple hundred more, they could purchase the loaded option, which not only zips away their urine to places better left unknown, but it massages as well! ok, maybe that's not a good idea. our guys would never leave the bathroom. ;)
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030107
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minnesota_chris
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did you know, in Antarctica they have a similar device that allows women to pee standing up? Makes it much easier when you're ice hiking and ya have to go.
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030107
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paste!
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the microphone bathrobe of time reversal/BLT making
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030107
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minnesota_chris
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wow. . . you could visit Buddha AND have a BLT at the same time.
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030107
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Syrope
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oooh i like rhin & blue star's ideas :)
i'm so serious though. mom was looking at some catalog today, and i was disgusted that people get paid to "invent" some of that stuff. "grease zappers" - little pieces of papery cloth that you use to dab grease off your pizza... I mean please!!??
what about my ideas for customized flesh-toned bandaids that you pick out like makeup compact colors...?
or hand-soap pump laundry detergent to keep ya from having to try and dribble the extra from the cap back into the bottle or getting it all over yourself?
or smaller, individual popcorn bags (which i was complaining that they should make one night and then saw a commercial for the next day)?...or...
*sigh*
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030108
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x
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if you go to some sort of co-op or natural foods store that sells detergent in bulk, you can put it in whatever kind of dispenser you want
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030108
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Syrope
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yea but a commercial company putting it in a dispenser & selling it could make tons more money than me buying in bulk (what's this...saving money vibe i'm getting from you?) and doin it myself
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030109
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minnesota_chris
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the in-car coffee maker
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030503
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joda
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Who cares if the Soap companies would profit - The point is, people's lives would be easier - nay ENHANCED, because of your invention($$). Or a Marketing Rep's from Proctor & Gamble. Whoever patents it first, I suppose.
Looks to me like the idea is still up for grabs. Better hurry...
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030504
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User24
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thats a good idea (the soap thing)
once they've invented that, they could package it with my world peace dispenser from above! wow. soap AND peace. in an easy to use... refillable.... non stick..... greaseproof.... non-toxic, CFC-Free pump-action, mega-economy, super-duper dispenser!
::faints.
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030806
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minnesota_chris
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I would really like to make something that shot flaming balls of plastic. This would be fun until about 3 uses, when I either burned somebody's house down accidentally, or engulfed my hands in burning plastic.
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040421
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oldephebe
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so why don't you get a contact and venture capital source funding to purchace it in industrial sizes of scale and armed with a viable business plan and proprietary marketing strategies vie on economies of scale against the fat cat's and show that you can deliver increased value w/r/t your business plan...service - delivery times - blah blah
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040422
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oldephebe
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i was responding to the whole soap issue Syrope was speaking on...
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040422
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oE
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get a contact at the manufacturing/distribution level - show him how it's worth his while to do business with you...maybe contact a lower tier player who has regular contact and therefore inside knowledge - with the big boys...
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040422
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Syrope
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that'd be too easy
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040504
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minnesota_chris
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a one-use toothbrush, complete with toothpaste, for sale for 50 cents or so at a gas station.
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040606
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poet
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a mute button for life.
a pause button for people who need to just pause for a second.
and fastforward and rewind would be cool too...
hell, just a remote control. i want to invent a remote contro for real life.
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040710
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minnesota_chris
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my life could use a play button
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040710
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the cheer-up kid
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A website where you any word you chose could become a page to which you could post any entry you wanted. And wouldn't it be cool if every word in every entry on each page would automatically hyperlink if a page existed for it. Maybe an index for all entries posted under a specific name or on a specific date would be good. Perhaps a running list of what was posted on most recently. You could split it into today and yesterday. And hey, yeah, wouldn't it be great if it had no adverts, no pop-ups, no password or signup, no supervisors, just wide open to anyone who cared to stumble across it and contribute...oh jeez, there's me dreaming again. Like that would ever happen...
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040905
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DannyH
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The headphone discotheque.
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050623
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a chaotic gift to idealism
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...the wheel... wait, that's already been...
nevermind. i'm going to sleep.
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050623
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mbr.exe
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the jebus power ring
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060328
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dipperwell
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instant compatibility detector
built into everyone's foreheads
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060328
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dipperwell
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evil dictator self-destruct button
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060328
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dipperwell
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a pill for instant freedom from guilt
(might have bad repercussions on the legal system though)
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060328
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dipperwell
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a universal CTRL+Z function
please.
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060328
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DannyH
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Someone beat me to the headphone discotheque. It seemed like a ridiculous idea at the time...ho hum
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061024
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.
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I like what Toxic Kisses wrote.
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061024
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the cheer-up kid
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Diet lard
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070805
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jane
|
a bigger ketchup packet.
© me
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070806
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jane
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portable cigarette dispenser/pillow
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071226
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what's it to you?
who
go
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blather
from
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