audrey_hepburn Princess Lola beauty in classic ways black and white thick eyebrows big eyes elegance innocence oh, to be her to the world and Bettie_Page to my boy ~_^ 030715 ... oldephebe I remember the first time I saw "Breakfast at Tiffanies" do i have time for this? Early day tomorrow - and me pressed and pulled into my pecuniary bridle - squinting against the east coast sun - the mad ragged potential of a poet clad in his corporate grey smear. Indistinguishable, a cog in an implacable inexorable wheel - (and what about the first time you watching Audrey Hepburn - get back to that - eh) I'm all angst in a bottle and boy I'd like to throttle the dudes that made the deal .. and inextricably intertwined our lives to these fields of throe - you know what? one day I'm going to charge right into that Visigoths' office and topple him from his tower - and excise that smug supercilious smile and throw him upon the threshing floor - Okay so I'm in bed lying nest to my now dearly departed wife - it's 1:00 a.m. and she's bounding over fences with the sheep, sleep her deviated septum purring nicely. Okay so the movie, the sheer vitality and sadness and moxie of that woman, the character she played. God I fell in love with her like so many others who've watched that movie. Also Breakfast at Tiffany's is another excellent cinematic exploration of humanity in all its inconstancy and euphoria and falling into a mountain pall of shadows - despairs delicious after dinner mint - tapped out its design all over her. I've never read the book, i plan to but I must have seen the movie 5 or 6 times - and of course I can never discuss it or even the idea or concept of Audry Hepburn with any of my boys - street argot for chums, homies or crew or whatever the current term is - I do find that my few female friends are "intrigued" that I have this fixation or infactuation for an actress of my parents generation - but I say you know Audrey Hepburn is not just some cinematic celluloid figurant. She imbued all of her roles with aspects of herself - she was human and tragic and at times dark and selfish but my godto hold a mercurial magical woman like tat in your arms, Oh I'd pay like hell for it, the inconstancy sea the flightiness the bi-polar broadcasts from the great beyond but my god it would be an exhilirating ride. I think I would break my back trying to bring her the world, trying to lift a sadness, to quell such ambition to reconcile the ungovernable allegiances roiling within her breast. I wrote a poem a few years back entitled "Charmed Iron Flowers" maybe some day if I'm brave enough I'll sahre it here. Why not I've shared every broken skin banality from my life already. I thought once maybe if I could wreath my head with her dying breaths (the character in Breakfast at Tiffany's) maybe, if I could fill my glass with her effulgence - God wouldn't that be something to hold a soul so beautiful and tragic and ambitious and steely and vulnerable and protean and shrewd - all of that and more combined in one woman - It would be like spring every morning and by thenext day a winter of heart choking sorrow - oh she would take you with her and you would ride and rise and fall until your soul becomes as ravaged and mercurial and compartmentalized and there would be the low drone that unshaped thing even in the most rapturous euphoric moments - there would always be a price to pay. Such an elemental spirit like hers could never belong to one to any one. But then i kept thinking that O! someone like her would really get someone like me. Hah! and we'd probably consume one another. A mutual consumation or is it immolation pact? Yeah i know if a man digs to deeply into himself, if he dives down too deeply into his depths if we taste whats darkest in us, what's most desolate - a man in such such a place at such an hour can come back oooh just a little canted, a tad askew a little closer to the scythes singing blade... But still, Audrey Hepburn! She's like wow no metaphore worthy of her comes to mind 'm all blathered out I cant't come up with the wordblurb that would encapsulate her respendedness. A whole WORLD of being of possibilites in one woman... 030715 ... oldephebe addendum - I never discussed the movie with my wife - I don't even think she knew if I'd ever seen it. Also here's a sartorial segue - the business suit, I wear them but I always feel like it's an acoutrement of assimilation, not just sartorially but somehow on some deeper level insidiously insinuating itself into the mores, the self profection of the wearer forget about appearing spiritually barren how bout voluble and vapid? ... 030715 ... relentless inner critic it's projection not profection 030715 ... always myself wonderous beautiful 030715 ... oldephebe yes she was - wondrous and so heave heart in mouth beautiful - even just the repetition of her name *Audrey Hepburn* evokes some dream pangs yeah me - an intemperate tongue sure, i know unrestrained in its' apotheosis of its affections or is it the apotheosis of one womans being that was transfigured in spite of the cliches and crassness and formulaic plot interpositions of hollywood - my affections and I can't hold them down - i won't i'm giddily intrigued that someone introduced Audrey Hepburn this radiant, radiant flower - that pretty petulant personification - i think it was in the blathe - random things i write or something - the iridescent iris of her eyes confound me sure i'm imbuing her with all these talismanic ah evocations (what?) (Damn! - that nattering jackal on the morning show is breaking my train of thought FM radio such a vapid and vacuous wasteland ..) Audrey Hepburn even the name evokes Autumn in Manhattan, poplars, midnight impromptu soirees, rob roys, martinis, I love eveything about that movie - even Buddy Ebson - the decadence of dead eyed social climbers, the approximation of scintillating repartee - there's no whittling down the verbiage here - Every time i see that movie i feel this soft concussion in my hearts most holiest place - the part i try to keep sheathed and unfelt or untouched but god it gets me every time - Audrey ... ... 030716 ... pipedream roman holiday was my first hepburn movie. hepburn and peck...incomparably lovely woman, audrey hepburn..i'll never forget the first time i saw 'my fair lady' (first of countless times...'c'mon! move yer arse!') 030716 ... oldephebe *bows his head sheepishly - to hide the crimson blade of his shame* - your admonishment has exhumed a memory - Actually I ah watched My Fair Lady with my mom when I was ten, but being only 10 i didn't realize her resplendedness and I so closely identified with Julie Andrews voice dubbed for the songs, and I think my mom was kind of partial to Julie Andrews as well, what I do recall though was being affected by her ebullience, her earnestness in wanting to ascend the social er um ladder. - and her passionate exchanges with Peck as he begins to see that she is more than just a pedantic or pedagological dalliance, she surpasses his merely erotic vanities - with a wit and a prescience to rival his own (my god did i just really write all that? *shakes fist ruefully at the sprawl of eggheadedness that will now appear on this blathe page (sigh) I will be renting several Audrey Hepburn DVDs this weekend - the thing is how do I finesse such an obviously effete ah request - my aren't i (we) such a mingling of incongruities ... see let's debate and let us be real from what i can recall Pecks performance seemed kind of pro-forma - but then i'm looking thru the lense of time a ten year old consumed with comics and GI Joe's and blah blah blah 030716 ... oldephebe satis eloquentiae, sapientiae parum 030722 ... silentbob i dont know what it was. i think maybe i've seen one too many movies where the character is a free-spirited girl that loves life too much to settle for simplicity and yet finds beauty in the details blahblahblah almost the point of nausea. somehow it didn't seem real to me. it seemed really contrived. i've seen better. there's too many movies like that. i hated her. if i knew her in real life i would be so disgusted with her. and then it all comes together at the end where he yells sense into her and its effective... it didn't work for me. i hated them both. 030722 ... Kate Did you get my package, the one with the four Audrey Hepburn stamps, because of the book rate? It is so nice to write Cambridge's postal code. Please write back. 030723 ... celestias shadow i got to be audrey hepburn for a biography project in 8th grade. dressing up and everything. it made me feel prettier and more graceful and sweeter to be personifying her. 030723 ... pipedream someone sent a package from the states a while ago and it had ten audrey hepburn stamps on it...i was so pleased, i pulled off a few to stick on my desk so i can see her every day. the stamp doesn't do proper justice, though. 030723 ... . . 030724 ... oldephebe i never did rent those dvd's..couldn't work up the nerv..sober faced man clutching his weather beaten leather satchel..walking in and requesting audrey hepburn dvd's..still very uncomfortable with the associations that act would inaugerate... ... maybe i'll just buy the dvd's 040216 ... girl_jane A beautiful woman. 040216 what's it to you? who go blather from