twiggie and touch the clouds 010313
psychobabe wake up, please wake up. Why wont you wake up? oh please wake up. This overwhelming feeling is to much for me. Please wake up 010428
Fire&Roses If you are just a dream... don't let me wake up... 011009
Bizzar i live my life
in constant fear of the day i wake up.
these eyes gaze so lovingly
at all the shattered pieces of this broken dream.
tear filled eyes, outstretched hands.
scarred up wounds reopened.
i take you back into my bleeding arms
over and over again.
you speak to me like an insignificant child
-numb and forgotten-
and i...
sacrafice all to see you smile.
i lay down at your feet
for you to walk upon
so you don't have to strain.
take a look at your life with me.
and maybe you'll realize
what you're about to lose.

just found it

Isaou So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.
backflip why do you fuck up my sleep patterns so much ?
it's either all or nothing !
you will never live this down.
unhinged 'paradoxically, what we most fear is not darkness -- we know the darkness all too well; what we are most afraid of is the light. the light of freedom shines from the unknown, undiscovered truths of compassion, kindness, appreciation, forgiveness and the wisdom to respond with care and understanding to all beings.'
--- noah levine
from 'against the stream'

we could search the whole world
and never find another being more worthy
of love
than ourself
--- buddha (?)
unhinged yes, the only person that is sure to love you is yourself.

namo gurubhay
namo buddhaya
namo dharmaya
namo sanghaya
pete in many ways it was worth it today,
but in the disconnect
mind and body
i really wish i hadn't.
Isaou On repeat
On repeat
Do you understand what this means to me?
Ouroboros Can't seem to these days. This wake up switch never happens in my head, not when I get up and not many hours later. I take showers, exercise, drink coffee, drink water, eat- nothing. This fog in my brain is settling 071023
unhinged if it's a chemical/depression fog try eating more fat when you first wake up. a friend of mine treats his depression with diet and he said that is the most effective thing. the fat greases up the nervous system so that you don't get build up and also helps your body produce the neural chemicals that are lacking. *shrugs* i've never tried it because i don't like to eat when i wake up, but it sounds logical enough. 071023
unhinged is always tired too 071023
Ouroboros i need a couple hours before I can stomach the idea of food as well. I wonder if taking a fatty supplement would work as well- like flaxseed or other oils. Or maybe i'll have to eat a philly cheesesteak at 730am. I don't think it's depression. Today after a fog filled morning, I had an incredible migraine in the afternoon- maybe tiredness is my migraine precursor now (instead of flashing lights). 071023
f Depression is an awful thing, you are so fogged up you don't even remember a time where you were happy, it's a funny feeling of drowning and splashing to stay afloat. I know it very well, although i never accepted it or told anyone how deep down i was. I found ways out of it on my own, and i truely believe that that is the best way, to learn about yourself without being drugged by a quick fix. What has made most people depressed is the way the modern world is (fast moving and pressured), on top of that the last thing you need is a modern pick me up quick fix.

GO BACK TO NATURE, stand on a mountain top or a cliff top and breathe in the air, this is a better drug than any anti-depressant pill.

If people want to make money out of people, they should at least do it in the right way, those bloody pharmaceutical companies have corruption written allover their crap inventions and price tags. There is this one anti-depressant drug that actually makes you suicidal, what kind of a fuck up is that then ?

First understand what depression actually is then decide if people need to take a drug or a long holiday to make things better. Depression is a disease reflected at the state of the way the world is. "its the way the world is", "tough cheddar", don't accept these comments, never accept it, NEVER.

What to do ?
Make the world a better place maybe ?
How to do it ? - TOGETHER MAYBE ?
unhinged cultivate_compassion


smile at strangers
f i always do but lots of people seem angry,
it effects everyone that,
its a ripple effect,
how can we make it better ?
hsg we could.

"be that change you want to see in the world." -gandhi

we could.

"pay it forward."
hsg wake_up...


-from nin video halo_12. there's a guy who flashes a sign with this on it during a_warm_place. after a few years of googling i found it came from a notre_dame football locker_room.
hsg wake up to your forgiveness. wake up to the_real_you_is_forever. onlyour weak spots will be removed. awakenterealityour fear is a waste of time. awakenter {yo'u[r}(e)breathing]. centered and rebalanced, Journey_Out_IN_Time. there's fun in the math of eternity. celebrate anomaly, the sac(red)_knodes, the exceptions_to_the_king. a sentence of humor rules a soul. soul_of_a_clown_of_us_all. wake up in lafter. wake up from deep rest unsleep... depression & sleep. laughter_all_is_saD_undone... after all is said and done.

continuously waking up endoubt by golden means.
sacred_geometry you do the math. peeling away layers of your o(pi)nion.
what is left is that death is just the death of your death. quest younging. quest young in it all as if you've never seen it before. an open mind mining openess. daS greatest work of an heart_is(t_ruthless).
unhinged tonglen

it is hard to not let others' anger infect you. i try to keep my light on to chase away the darkness. still practicing on that one.
hsg "the Peaceful_Warrior practices everything." -soc

practice laughing at anger... but do it in good nature, do it to disarm, not to incite. ...it's a different sorta insight i suppose.

hsg Alex Grey would most definitely agree. In his manifesto, The Mission of Art, he argues that artists have
an ethical responsibility to realize art as a powerful and sacred medium of transmission (Grey, 2001). His
conviction is that the state of consciousness in which a work is created is recapitulated in those that
perceive it, and so artists arewith more or less awareness and intentacting as conduits for their
modes of being. His injunction is that if we want a beautiful world, we have to be it, first.

hsg when we choose to live forever we are fully awake. when lightickels your brain and you ask it to encode its information in the water you drink, you become it. 071025
hsg and the water you will all ways think:

ask the light to always be in the water you drink. have courage to be fully alive.
hsg "It is our duty to make sure that the
“vibe” we are spreading is a good one."

please read the whole thing.


syringe ...and smell the coffee. 080622
unhinged i am not yet used to having my window open. somewhere on my block, someone was sawing something this morning. bbbbzzzzzz

it is monday. the recycle truck is coming through the back alley. tinkle tinkle of breaking glass. in this neighborhood, the recycle containers are filled with empty beer bottles and cans. but usually, the bums come by and pick out all the cans. just tinkle tinkle of breaking glass. (recycle cans are NOT garbage cans dumb asses)

i wake up many times during the night. i keep my phone close by to check the time, decide whether i should roll back over and go to sleep. the earlier i wake up now, my allergy symptoms are lessened. eyes less crusty and puffy, sinuses drain. stupid_allergies ; have to get back in the routine.

(i am on my third cup of coffee. one more left in the pot)
past 6am is no longer an ugly word, but a slight sleep in. i start work before 8 by choice, valuing the evening's freedom more than a few more hours to snore. 080623
sleeping sun
I'm still asleep
and my dreams are straying
from reality.
I want to live here
Awake With you
in the_sunshine_of_our_love
We could be planting_seeds
Climbing up to splash back in
To the rain
Loving the storm that loves the sun
From this weather
what's it to you?
who go